Stories

Pride and Parkinson by goldensnidget92
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Draco Malfoy is known throughout Hogwarts for his irresistable charm and heart-stopping good looks. At least, that's what he thinks.

Follow him on his quest to find the perfect date for the Yule Ball. Will he settle for the mysterious Miss L, or will he realise that sometimes the perfect match is in front of you the whole time?

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour Story


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4057 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/01/12 Updated: 05/06/12


Bless You by Acacia Carter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Neville enjoys a quiet moment... until it all goes awry.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2811 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/04/12 Updated: 05/04/12


'i' before 'e' by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 33]

Summary: Ms A Cadwallader wishes to improve herself and apply for a better job. Unfortunately, despite her impeccable qualifications, she is thwarted by a certain Junior Under Secretary for the Minister of Magic, who has let it be known that basic spelling errors can never be over looked.

This story, written in the style of a series of letters, first appeared in The Battle of the Genres over at the SBBC forum.

I am not JK Rowling. She would probably have been more amusing.

This story is for Minna because it was her birthday and she likes this pairing.

Thank you Natalie for liking the drabble and encouraging me to expand.

Winner of the Best Humour QSQ in 2012 - GOBSMACKED!!!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1538 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/21/12 Updated: 04/21/12


Summary: Mary Macdonald has certainly "changed" for the weirder. She has a couple of obsessions and trouble remembering things. Will she be able to teach Snape the meaning of life or will she just drive him crazy?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Mild Profanity

Word count: 1002 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/13/12 Updated: 04/19/12


Dear Gran by goldensnidget92
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Neville Longbottom's first year at Hogwarts is shown here in letters to his formidable grandmother.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Award 2012: Best General Story!

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3146 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/12/12 Updated: 04/17/12


Perfection by Proud_Muggleborn
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 1]

Summary: Life used to be a breeze for Felix Longbottom, who considers himself the poster boy for perfection, but then his world is turned upside down when he finds himself the target of a series of misguided murder attempts. Hilarity ensues as poor Felix starts doubting his closest friends and trusting his sworn enemies in order to get to the bottom of the mystery, once and for all.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5515 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
04/01/12 Updated: 04/10/12


Summary: Past Featured StoryReally, must I endure the nauseating burden of owing the tinned twit a favour?
- - -
Written, hurriedly and frantically, for the Inaugural Great Hall Cotillion by Acacia Carter of Hufflepuff.
- - -
As always, the Harry Potter world and everything in it is property of JKR.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1605 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/01/12 Updated: 03/01/12


Passion Among the Primroses by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Mafalda Hopkirk is only too pleased when her transfer to the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Department come through. For one thing it means she won't have to work with the bumbling Cornelius Fudge anymore.

And for another, there's a new and rather shy clerk working alongside her.

Confiding in her diary, she tells her tale of passion and primroses.

Disclaimer: I have no idea who I am, but I'm certainly not JK Rowling.

Another entry for the Inaugral Great Hall Cotillion. Thank you Jess and Viv for such an amazing competition. Let's leave it a while for the next one, eh?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2662 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/29/12 Updated: 02/29/12


Summary: To commemorate the release of the Daniel Radcliffe vehicle, The Woman in Black, herewith is my version. Stitched together from the disjointed glimpses offered in the original trailer, this alternate treatment seeks to provide closure of a different sort to Harry’s adventures. As such it is a parody, not a cross-over.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 896 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/09/12 Updated: 02/09/12


Predictions of Love by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: For the past twelve years, Sybill Trelawney has lived a sheltered life cloistered in her rooms at Hogwarts. But with the arrival of Gilderoy Lockhart, her thoughts turn to love.

But the competition for his heart is fierce. Will Sybill find love with the dashing professor?

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. Neither am I a writer of Mills and Boon.

Thank you to Kara (karaley Dargen) for being a fabulous beta. More thanks to Alex (welshdevondragon) for linking me to a certain romantic story.

This is Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall Cotillion.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Substance Abuse

Word count: 5978 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/06/12 Updated: 02/06/12


Summary: Harry winds up in a duel with Professor Snape, and as a result, he and his yearmates are faced with the horrific trauma of a naked potions class. In addition, Fred has a "small" magical mishap, Voldemort develops a lisp, and an insufferable Hufflepuff who knows way to much about all this shows up. And that's just Part I of this twisted but hilarious series of Hogwarts comedies. Later chapters feature dirty diapers, abused Hufflepuffs, time-traveling Hogwarts founders, Gilderoy Lockhart, a sentient soccer ball, mind-altering hot chocolate, studded dog collars, and some interesting ways to misuse the Room of Requirement.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 1919 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
01/07/12 Updated: 01/18/12


A Miracle For Christmas by Hypatia
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 12]

Summary: When Sirius Black has an idea, not even his friends can convince him it’s doomed to failure. Thus, when Sirius decides to throw a Christmas party in order to play matchmaker for James and Lily, nothing will deter him from his plans. However, Sirius has never actually hosted a party before and one disaster follows the next. Eventually, even Sirius has to admit that it would take a miracle in order for Lily to fall for James. Fortunately, Christmas is a time for miracles...

This is Hypatia of Gryffindor, writing for the Great Hall-iday Challenge, Operation: Mistletoe

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 12533 Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/08/11 Updated: 12/17/11


What Luna Sees by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: Does Ginny have a serious rival?
Who is the most fancied bloke in the DA?
What Lunacies happen at Christmas?
This is Northumbrian of Ravenclaw House realising that this long planned story scrapes into prompt 3 (Operation Mistletoe) of the Great Hall-iday challenge, and that my story title is an even worse pun than the challenge title.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 8143 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/27/11 Updated: 12/08/11


The MacGuffin Hunt by Inverarity
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Draco has one key to Helga Hufflepuff's Three Lock Box, and Harry has another. Harry and Pansy both have a brilliant idea, and it doesn't involve teaming up to find the third because that wouldn't be as amusing.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 8884 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/24/11 Updated: 11/25/11


Love Potion Lessons by goldensnidget92
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: Hermione and Ginny want revenge for a prank that Harry and Ron pulled on them, and Hermione thinks she has the perfect idea...

This story includes a dollop of love potion, a sprinkling of cheesy romantic cliches, and a generous splash of incredibly embarassing memories for Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3358 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/11/11 Updated: 11/21/11


Polyjuice Puzzle by goldensnidget92
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: It is a year after the legendary events of the Battle of Hogwarts, and Harry and Ron have discovered that life in the real world isn't half as exciting.

This leads to the rather unfortunate idea of using Polyjuice Potion to switch lives for a day, resulting in much hilarity and two very sticky situations, after which the two boys never see each other in quite the same way again.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour Story


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 3440 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/19/11 Updated: 10/25/11


The Knitting Alternative by Misdemeanor1331
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Stuck in the Manor and bored nearly out of his mind, Draco Malfoy hatches a plan of questionable legality to acquire some company.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Epilogue? What Epilogue?, Mild Profanity

Word count: 6414 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/20/11 Updated: 10/20/11


The Revenge of Mark Evans by goldensnidget92
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Mark Evans, one of Dudley's many victims, is a wizard. A wizard who wants revenge for the months of suffering Dudley Dursley put him through one summer before he attended Hogwarts.


This is part of the Court Case that dealt with the apparent acts of Muggle-baiting that he committed, with statements from Mark Evans and Dudley Dursley; and from the witnesses, Petunia Dursley and Harry Potter.


Warning: includes general silliness, sickly language from Petunia Dursley, and one allusion to strong language.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Quill Award 2012: Best Humour

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1613 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/04/11 Updated: 10/06/11


Drive Your Car On by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: When Vernon Dursley starts acting like a prat, Hestia Jones begins rapping on him, Missy Elliot style.

Winner of the MC Kreacher Challenge at Poetry Anyone (MNFF Boards). Rap inspired by and written to the beat of Missy Elliot's Get Ur Freak On, which I love to bits.

DISCLAIMER: Do you really think J.K.Rowling would write this, though?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 388 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/26/11 Updated: 09/26/11


Supergran! by KarasAunty
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary:

Neville Longbottom is about to be measured for his first set of Hogwarts' robes when Gregory Goyle's father makes the mistake of insulting him. And in front of his grandmother, too ...

NOTE: Contains one (mild) sexual reference only.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 2096 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/14/11 Updated: 09/15/11


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