i liked this piece. you did a great job covering history, setting the scene and playing it out between them with their actions, dialogue and their thoughts. well done, thanks for sharing.
This was really interesting. I've never considered that Blaise/Hermione as a pairing. After reading this, it makes sense that they could have a relationship.
The first thing I noticed was that you used the present tense. I don't write a lot of present, only sometimes in the first person. I never thought that it would work well with the third person. After reading this, I knew I was wrong. It was really good, and flowed nicely.
I thought that Blaise and Hermione were both IC. You could see the Slytherin in Blaise. He didn't feel overly romantic, just right. I like how the war seems to take it toll on him. It wouldn't be realistic if it didn't. I love Hermione goes to Italy for awhile afterward. She suffered a huge loss in Harry's death; it makes sense that she would want to get away from all that.
I really liked this fic. I have to read more of your writing.
Firstly, I just want to say that I found this story very enjoyable. I've only read one other Hermione/Blaise in the past, and it had sort of turned me off of the pairing, but I figured I'd give this one a shot, and I was DEFINITELY not disappointed.
Perhaps one of my favourite parts of the whole story was the beginning description. The way you described the train station, as well as lend evidence to memories and such (in the first paragraph alone) was a great way to start out. It was extremely well-written, and I really enjoyed it.
Another thing that I particularly liked was the telling of the story in the present tense, rather than the past. It was very interesting; I haven't read many stories like this, and the few that I have stumbled across usually don't hold my interest, and I have trouble getting into the tense. This one-shot, though brief, did not have such a problem, I'm glad to say.
Now, for just a bit of criticism:
As he leans back on the bench, resting his arm on the black, steel lace Victorian designs that the designer loved so much, he stole them from the Muggles, he taps his foot in rhthym with the rain that's falling on the roof overhead.
I found this sentence a bit lengthy, and the wording was a bit awkward in parts, in my opinion. "[T]he black, steel lace Victorian designs that the designer loved so much, he stole them from the Muggles, he taps his foot ..." This part is where I think the awkwardness comes in slightly, with the insertion of the thought concerning how the designer took the designs from Muggles and such. Right off the top of my head, I can't think of some exact way to change it, other than to maybe use a dash to sort of separate that thought: "[T]he black, steel lace Victorian designs -- The designer loved them so much, he stole them from Muggles -- he taps his foot in rhthym with the rain that's falling on the roof overhead." Or something like that, anyway.
Finally, another thing that I loved, though, was Blaises's characterisation, and how the story was told. It was basically just a lot of thoughts of Blaises's, yet such works extremely well, and I enjoyed it because of that. The scenes were described realistically and vividly -- It was very easy to visualize the arrival of the train, for instance, and really connect with Blaise at those sorts of points.
Overall, I congratulate you on a one-shot story that was an enjoyable read, and very well- and skilled-written fic.
Awww. Though I don't really see this pairing happening, this is a very cute fic. I love how Blaise worries so much about what to say, and then, when she's there, he realizes he doesn't have to say anything at all. Also love the tea reference... It shows how much he really cares for her!
Really enjoyable. Your characterisation of Blaise was interesting - you managed to blend the arrogance with a deeper sense of what lies behind it. I enjoyed seeing his thoughts and his insecurities and his honesty about himself - and there were some nice humorous touches which balanced it. You drew a sympathetic character who I could well imagine Hermione falling for.
I loved the neat construction of this story. With the idea that he had left Hermione there all those years ago, and now they had come full circle. The back story was also very elegantly despatched and left me wishing that you would write a longer version of this. There seems so much more to be told.
The understatement of the ending was perfect. No dramatic proclamations, but a few words that demonstrate exactly what is going to happen. Just one nit-pick, I’m afraid. This line confused me a bit – at first I thought you had a missing word -
'I hope you remembered the honey for the tea,' she says, and he gives her a look, because of course he has. He thinks. He'll just borrow some from the neighbour. I think you need to say ‘because of course he has forgotten’. Actually, thinking about this, maybe Blaise’s look is saying ‘of course I’ve remembered,’ (when actually he hasn’t, but he doesn’t want Hermione to realise.) In which case I would change it slightly to read 'I hope you remembered the honey for the tea,' she says, and he gives her a look, to say, of course I have. He thinks. He'll just borrow some from the neighbour. Anyway – it was a lovely touch!
Altogether, very enjoyable. Oh, and I also appreciated the fact that Hermione only let him take a few of her bags. Quite right! Thanks.