this is a really touching story. i like how you used a minor character like lavender to personify the gryffindor spirit and ideals. keep writing.
i enjoyed it, still, it would have been a really- really - realy funny humour fic, if you had continued it!!!
Author's Response: *laugh* you know ... you're right. Maybe I ought to do that one of these days.
Nope, did not like it.
Author's Response: *lol* neither did I when I wrote this - but kinda appreciate it better now upon reading why some readers liked it. :)
Hmm. I really find this to be a VERY interesting fic. These kind of fics are hard to find. Usually, people write from what they see in the HP books. Only a few people explore the characters more in depth. They go to greater extents to invision what the character might be like if something happened to them. Or do they act differently around others.
This was a nicely written. I, for one, would have never thought of Lavender like this. I'd imagine her sulking with Parvati about Ron leaving her. I really like the way you captured her character. It was like seeing another side of her...it was like seeing Voldemort being nice - something that you couldn't imagine.
I can't imagine a Gryffindor going into Knockturn Alley except maybe the trio. But especially not Lavender. But, I must say that you have changed my mind. I like the way that you had her hesitate when she walked in...you didn't make her too strong...but you didn't make her weak..the way she kind of stood up to Borgin.
The only thing that I find a bit odd, but doesn't really affect the story, is the way Borgin acted. I think that he would have been alot nastier to her being that she was from Gryffindor. Like the way he acted towards Hermione. It was obvious that Lavender was scared inside and I thought he made it all too easy.
But overall, very nicely written. This was a good story. :)
Author's Response: Thanks. Surprised that people actually liked this when the plot-line is much simplier than what I'm used to. *wince* I was pointed out to some little things like those you've mentioned *lol* I obviously didn't do much research when I wrote this (to get at least one house entry into the contest). Thanks for the long and detailed review :)
I wonder what would have ahppened if Lavender had bought that pin. I like the descriptions of the shop and the old man. I was not expecting it to be Lavender, by the way, but I love how you incorporated Won-won into the story. The pin was sheer genius, it's too bad that it didn't work. The end results would have been interesting.
Author's Response: If it worked that would have been interesting *lol* Can you imagine Ron under Lavender's control? *lol*
I like Lavender here...most of the time you wonder how she ever got into Gryffindor. This is great!
Just a miniscule nitpick-wasn't she Muggle-born? And if she was, she'd probably not be allowed down Knockturn Alley, right?
Anyway, great job. Very well-written.
Author's Response: She's Muggle-born? and Muggle-borns aren't allowed in knockturn? I though Hermione went inside the store once in HBP ... but I could have been wrong and mixed things up .. happens plenty of times... Thanks for letting me know that... :)
Author's Response: Thanks ^_^
Ooohh...it has definite emotion to it, and it doesn't make Lavender sound like a bimbo like the books.
Author's Response: Thanks for saying so :) Was afraid I made her OOC :)
Ooh! Very nice! I love the new characterization of Lavender, since most people look at her in a bad way. Maybe, for a bit more effect, you can have the phrase "closed the door" as the last phrase for more effect, but maybe that's just me. I don't think Borgin would say "Listen, kid" but that's not big. Overall, I enjoyed the fic, and it definitely deserved to be a Finalist!
Author's Response: See your point, it is somewhat an Americanism. I'll go correct that and that suggestion on the use of 'close the door' makes plenty of sense. I'll do that as well. Thanks for all the advice. Appreciate them.
I really liked it! good job, the endingwas very good! i thought for sure she was going to take it! Makes me think Lavender is not all that bad!
Author's Response: Really? Thanks. Didn't thought this was much, I just wanted to enter and try my hand at self-betaing again... :)
Nice pen name by the way ^_%=^