Oh my gawsh! I can't believe this story. It's just too amazing. It's terrible, and amazing at the same time, if you know what I mean. I just finished this stort to this point in one sitting, and I am utterly speechless. I'm trying to leave a good review, but I'm too mad about this horrible cliff hanger to completely remember all the thoughts I've been saving to say to you in this review, so bear with me:
1)I love the point of views that you use. The way it changes, so you can see the same situation in the diffrent characters eyes. That must be hard to do, thinking up enough things for four diffrent people to think simultaniously.
2) I love the pure idea of this story. that it is all one fateful day. the way that you make it all sound so dramatic, descriptive, and heart felt all at once. Along with it being a romance fic surrounded by this huge battle that is the settingof the entire story.
3) I like how you leave people hanging. I am not very happy about it, because I can't wait to se how you keep going with this story... But the way you leave your chapter just seem very JKR-esque.
4)Your word choice. Just makes me feel like your smart. I hate how I know what all of these words mean, and how to use them, yet I can't seem to make my fics sound as smart as you make your sound
5)The way that you first set the whole story around Ron and Hermione, then changed it to include Harry and Ginny, I love, because if you didn't too many questions would be left unanswered.
Well, that's all I can think of to praise at the moment, because I keep looking up to the story and seeing 'POTTER', so I can't really concentrate on my reviewing, because I'm too impatient to get to the next chapter. But I will condence my whole review process into four words "YOUR STORY IS AWESOME"
Author's Response: Thank you! This was an incredible review, I don't often get more than a few words or sentences =D I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed the story, and go you for tackling it in one sitting! It's quite alot to take in. I completely agree about the Harry/Ginny needing to be in the story. In the beginning I really hadn't planned on it, but as the characters decided to take the adventure in new directions, thus making the plot expand, I really just knew they needed to be in there too. Thanks for reading/reviewing!!
OMFG!! You are awesome, do you know that? You are an awesome writter! I felt like I was reading a published book while reading this. Actually, this is better than some published books that I have read... this is absolouly amazing! But I don't want to write a much longer review, because I want to get to the next chapter...
Author's Response: Why thank you so very much =) I hope to maybe write a novel someday, so this is great encouragement. I hope you enjoy the rest of the chapters as much as this one!
this story is AMAZING! I love it! Update quick!!! lol This keeps me sane during finals :)
Author's Response: Lol, glad I could help! I'm setting aside some time this week to get writing done, hopefully it will be a fast update this time around.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!! UPDATE!!!!! THIS IS THE BEST STORY IN THE WORLD AND GET BACK TO HARRY AND GINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND UPDATE!!!!!! Your story ROX!
Author's Response: Harry and Ginny are up next. Updating asap. Thanks for reading!
Hey! Why the O.o face at me? I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!!
okay maybe just a little....
Author's Response: Erm, yea you are dear, but it's highly amusing =)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!! this is brilliant, I was practically chewing my fingers off at one stage. I love the way how you explain ron and hermiones love for each other, and how you write it. it's so sad only cause I don't want them to die!!!!
Author's Response: Gah! That's alot of screaming! I'm glad I could keep you on edge, you'll know the final outcome soon enough =)
Last couple chapters??? DID I JUST HEAR YOU SAY "LAST COUPLE CHAPTERS"??????? NOOOOOOOOO I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU!!!!!!!! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALALALALALALALALALA I'M NOT LISTENING!!!!!!!! This story has to go on forever and ever and ever and ever cuz it's AWESOME! IT WILL NEVER END!!!!!
*runs off screaming and plugging ears*
Author's Response: O.o
YEAH IM SO happy i finally wrote a fanfic!!its a comedy, and yeah i submitted it last night and chloe helped because i make to many typos when i type!!!YEAH!!!
Author's Response: Yay! Congrats dear!
OMG....my jaw is dropped and i find myself dieing to read more.....i simply cannot wait till the next update!!!!! SO AWESOME
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad I have that affect, lol! Updating as soon as possible =)
Hi! I love the cliffhanger. It's so dramatic, seeing the word POTTER there at the end. I think you did a great job with Hermione getting a bit into Snape's head, only to have her hopes dashed due to his precarious position at the moment. I loved the purple mist that forces Ron to watch. I hope it's not too horrible! Will the next chapter bounce back to the Burrow or continue in the graveyard? I hope Snape keeps cooperating with you - good luck as you continue! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Hey Gina! It will actually involve both the burrow and the graveyard =) We're getting down to the last couple chapters, eep!
woahh!! its soo scary! you;re writing is sooo amazng! emotionall..woow...i wish u could teach me to write as weelll as u do....keep the story going its rly rly gd.
Author's Response: Hmmm, how do I write... well, for me, I sit down and think of 1) How would I describe this verbally in my every day speech? 2) How would I write this down if I was trying to be a snooty author? 3) Come to a middle ground between the two. You don't want to overpower your readers with your word choices, but you don't want it to sound ordinary and everyday either. If you read your story out loud and the words don't flow relatively easily off your tongue, it's too much. If you find yourself racing through it and getting bored, its not enough =)
that end is so sad
why couldnt the chapter be longer??
i want to know that everyone has survived
update quickly... like tomorrow
Author's Response: Hmm, it may be awhile before you know the fate of everyone involved. As for the chapter length, well, I keep them shorter so the mods don't kill me =)
Very good! Keeping us wanting more and More and MOre and MORe and MORE! One can not help but to see the talent that you have for writting:) Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you! I do my best to keep it interesting =)
I just finished the story ytd. I'm loving it but the suspense is killing me. I know you just updated 2 days ago but I can't wait!!
Author's Response: It shouldn't be that long a wait for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!
This is just awesome!!! I just got into Potter fanfiction, so this was a terrific first read!!!! Thanks so much for writing such a beautiful story!!! I have not felt that much suspense since OoTP, man wasn't that a mess!!! Anyway, please update soon!
Author's Response: Welcome to the world of fan fiction! It's a tad addicting, but there are worse ways to spend your time ;) I'm glad you found my story and enjoyed it. And yes, OotP...phew. I can't wait for the movie to come out. Updating as soon as possible!
I’m so excited to see another chapter! I really enjoy this story.
I love your skill with imagery and atmosphere. The very opening phrases set the tone for what is to come: Silver slivers of moonlight trickled through the clouds, casting a ghostly hue on the world below. The ashen marble headstones glowed in the darkness, creating an unearthly circle around the assembly of Death Eaters, blocking their actions from the rest of the world.
Your Snape is excellent – that is to say, I’m tempted to rip his head off. Well done.
Your characterization is wonderful. The way Snape caught Ron and Hermione off-guard – the way he did it, they didn’t even notice, and if they had, they couldn’t have caught themselves. I love how Hermione’s compassion shines through her fear, and how Ron responds by trying to protect her, but gets distracted by how much he loves her. It’s a beautiful portrait in the middle of such agonizing fear.
Parts that exemplify this for me:
The emotions she felt for Ron were raw and new, and somehow his scornful remarks had cut her deeply, opening some unknown wound in the middle of her heart.
Wow. All emotions are powerful, and love is especially so, so this particular bit seems to really…hit home. I’m not sure exactly how, but it’s well-done and well-placed.
He never took anyone into his confidence without its presence in their hearts.
Excellent! I’ve heard so many Snape-is-good theories, but this one takes a closer look at Dumbledore’s motivation, instead of his actions. Great, and it fits so well with your themes of love and caring.
The pain one can only realize when they have truly lost everything.
Ron growled quietly and turned his face away, refusing to meet Snape’s pointed stare. Bastard, he thought angrily…
For a moment Ron lost himself, forcing everything else from his mind as he traced the lines of her face with his eyes, watching her short curls stir in the breeze.
He smiled inside when she gave a small exasperated sigh, the same she always used when dealing with a particularly difficult test question back at Hogwarts.
I bow to your skills of characterization, suspense, suspension of disbelief, emotional depiction, and pretty much everything. I cannot wait for the next update!
Author's Response: I love imagery. It's one of my favorite parts of writing in fact, being able to create an atmosphere and environment entirely out of words. If you do it right it kinda runs like a movie in your head =) Snape. Yea, he gave me headaches off and on as I tried writing this chapter. He's very particular abotu his characterization, lol! Ron and Hermione come a bit more easily now, but then again they've let me bring them through 12 previous chapters and are a little bit more cooperative now ;) Emotions play such a dramatic part in war and battle, and poor Ron and Hermione are experiencing all of them at once. Thanks so much for this beautiful review! Shouldn't be nearly as long to the next update =)
Hey! Ok so first off Im so sorry for everything thats been going on. I hope its working out now and that you can have a nice smile on your face!
Second congrats on the award! Very much deserved.
Third, the story. Another amazing chapter, I must say. What really struck me however (and this isn't the first time) is how wonderfully you use emotion from the eyes. I am a firm believer in the eyes having a great deal of communicating power, sometimes they can say even more than words, and sometimes you let slip secrets that you were trying to keep hidden just from the eyes. You seem to be working off of these ideas really well and it shows. I'm so very much enjoying that, because I think it brings such brilliance to the story, whether between Harry and GInny, Ron and his brothers, Ron and Hermione, or Hermione and Snape, there's just this automatic understanding that is absolutely phenomenal.
And you write it perfectly.
So among all the other amazing things about this story, that is the one I chose to comment on today.
And I'm thinking the stories told by eyes are going to have a decent part in future chapters. LOL
Oh and btw my ch 2 finally went up!!
Can't wait for more, as always.
Author's Response: Things were going badly for a bit, but they are getting better now, thanks =) I, too, believe that the eyes hold a million untold emotions and secrets, and as this story is about the senses, both physical and emotional/mental, it seemed fitting to use sight and eye connection as a means of communication, especially when, for the most part, speaking isn't an option. And you are right; there is more eye communication ahead. Fairly important, in fact, so keep an eye out ;)
You are amazing! And that's all I need to say.
Author's Response: Thank you!
of course it gets validated the only day that i'm grounded! grr! But i read it today (i'm not grounded anymre) and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome! I LOVED IT!!!! WOOHOO! Now everyone's gonna start bugging you to write some more!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
p.s. POOR Her-my-own!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Chloe, what did you do to get grounded? You need to be a good girl ;)
nice... well not so much for Hermione... anyway I love this story, it has a good mixture of emotion and action!! Thanks and update soon (well, not too soon if it compromises the story and life :) )
Author's Response: Yea, poor Ron and Hermione. I really am so mean to them. At least they have each other! Updating as soon as possible, thanks for reviewing!