Reviews For Frate Lupo
Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 03/19/07 22:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

Ok, I'm intrigued. What does the potion do??? I find it sad that Tonks in in St. Mungos, or at least that is how I understood it. I hope you write more to this story soon!! Cyns

Reviewer: Spottedcat
Date: 02/04/07 21:55
Chapter: Chapter 1

Intriguing!

Okay, so... do we get to find out what this potion for Frate Lupo actually does?

(hint, hint...)

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 02/03/07 23:30
Chapter: Chapter 1

Egads. It cut off most of my review. Well, here I go again. >.<

I really loved how the introduction threw you directly into the story by taking you into Ron's thoughts. One of my favorites was your turn of phrase, "particular penny to drop." I also liked the way you hinted at the setting by mentioning the amphitheater.

The potions sequencing - was that an original idea or one from the Potions class? It's very cool - the idea of preserving a potion through a dance. I really liked it.

The thought of Hermione haggling over postcards reminded me terribly of Mrs. Weasley and made me smile to think that Hermione could be so much like her mother-in-law.

I love how you subtly hint that Hermione is with child, and also how Ron loves children. Finally, the sense of being validated in a marriage once you have a child is very realistic and I appreciated it coming from Ron, since he DID have a very large family.

The next bit was where your romance truly began to shine. The part about the two of them growing up truly hit a chord in me. My favorite line was, "Finding that he was growing further, rounding out in ways she hadn't even realized he was flat..." That perfectly describes a married couple that's been together for a long time.

You know most everything about each other. But because of that depth and that intimacy, you continue to find out new parts of that person as well. To me, this was a perfect interpretation of Ron and Hermione together.

"He had gone beyond fear so often, he had learned when not to bother beginning." I loved this line. It shows how much Ron has matured - from being afraid of spiders, to knowing when fear is appropriate.

I also liked the way Hermione was able to go completely still. This shows that she has matured and that her generally high-strung, eager, energetic nature has calmed somewhat.

Now the scene with the girl raised a lot of questions from me. Is the girl truly young, what with the scene looking like it came from the times of Napoleon or Caesar? Is she magical or Muggle? Why is she hiding from the rest of the world and not Ron and Hermione? What sort of ability allows her to enter Hermione's mind and insert a picture of the full moon there?

I loved this section as well. "Neville," Ron said sadly, and in frustration. How often did they still do this--refer to one of their departed friends? They had no need to say more, no need to say, "I wish he was here," or, "She would have loved this;" the name was enough to say everything.

It's as though grief is such a consistent part of their life - that they know it so well - there is no need to acknowledge it. This is terribly subtle and yet heartwrenching.

I have a problem with Ron using the word, "combo." You may want to use the Cultural section of the Reference Desk to see if Brits use that word.

I also can't see "Holy Water" being capitalized, love. Ron wouldn't know who Shakespeare is, would he? It'd be a bit more IC for him to not know the playwright and for Hermione to explain the Muggle reference, IMO.

I enjoyed the description of the potion-making because it reminded me of the presence of Hermione's perceptive gaze and also showed the lovely innocence and casual ease of the girl as she made the Potion. Finally, the mention of the Coke bottle truly brought back to me where this potion was being made...and made me wonder how such a poor-looking girl could be so brilliant.

The comparison of Lupin's appearance to Moody's was wonderful because it was so good at getting the point across.

The subtle hint of what happened to Tonks sent tears to my eyes. "Tonks had been less lucky." They're so matter-of-fact about it; again, I feel as though grief is something they've grown accustomed to, which is terribly sad.

Now I'm wondering where Hermione has gone - because SHE was the one carrying the potion. Hmm. *wonders*

Anyway, the next line to really strike me was another casual hint at Tonk's fate. "Ron understood that if Hermione was the one lying insensible in St. Mungo's just down the aisle from the Longbottoms, he wouldn't care much either." This line also made me question whether Neville is dead, or simply mad...

I love how observant Ron is - that he noticed the iron cookpot was used instead of pewter. This would be considered OOC in canon, but is a realistic change in personality for someone exposed to war. War makes you more alert and aware, more perceptive about surroundings. I think that this change in Ron is a very effective and subtle way of conveying the effect war has had on all of them.

Let me finish with the romance that you ended with. When Ron speaks about how he thinks of Hermione as he did before the war, it made me smile. You'll often hear long-married couples think of each other as they did the first day they fell in love with each other, and I think that's what Ron is doing.

You do a brilliant job of showing how Ron and Hermione's relationship would be after they've both matured and been softened by the hard edges of war. I think that you've kept them realistically IC but also altered them enough to show their added maturity and the depth of their love/relationship.

Beautiful job, Thea. Just beautiful.

Kumy

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 02/03/07 23:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

Let me begin with...what an intriguing concept! I always enjoy stories about magic in foreign countries. This one was very cool. :)

You have a lot of mechanical errors in here, love. Missing commas, run-ons, et cetera. It made the story a bit hard to read...I actually had to read things several times to understand what was going on. I suggest a beta, or just looking over it yourself, perhaps?

Author's Response: I went in in a huge hurry. I will go back and take a look at it when I get a chnce and fix the boo boos...And I cannot take credit for it being in a foreign country - the assignment required it!

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 02/03/07 23:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

Let me begin with...what an intriguing concept! I always enjoy stories about magic in foreign countries. This one was very cool. :)

You have a lot of mechanical errors in here, love. Missing commas, run-ons, et cetera. It made the story a bit hard to read...I actually had to read things several times to understand what was going on. I suggest a beta, or just looking over it yourself, perhaps?

Reviewer: MrTibbles
Date: 06/26/06 17:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow- this is very intriguing so far. I'd never really thought about Italian magic. (I took French in High School)



The subject matter itself is very interesting- this potion, does it cure werewolves? I'm looking forward to finding out.



A lot of people dead in this, though. I would say it is on the verge of melodrama, but Ron and Hermione aren't wallowing in sorrow over the deaths. They seem to have accepted them, which is very true to their characters.



Remus understood that Ron had dealt with the peace, with the echoing silence of peace, by never giving up on whatever was left to be done for anyone he knew.



-That pretty much sums it up- very well done. :)



Only one nit-picky thing I feel obligated to mention. The switching back and forth between 'Ron' and 'Ronald'- is there an objective? It seems like even though people around him call him 'Ronald,' he still thinks of himself as 'Ron.' (I assumed that because 'Ron' was associated with his thoughts) It confused me a little, so I thought i would mention it.



Overall, I enjoyed this first chapter immensely. I'll add this to my favorites and await chapter 2.



Cheers!

MrTibbles











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