can't wait to read the continuation:)
Yeah sweet more more !!!!
do you mean rouge, as in the color red, -or rogue, as in a stealthy person . me confused...different meanings w/different spellings...
your story was sooo excellent!!! :)
It was great! I like your ideas. It was sweet.
aw i think i've read this before and I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!
Very cute.... another winner!! I loved it!
ahhh! This is incredibly cute! I love the way you write... I can't stop smiling after reading this. yay!
Problems or question's I have about the following passages are below them, with a number saying which
Lily believed that the Headship together had been the thing to really make them become friends and being them closer.
1. I'm confused by this sentence. Is it bring them closer, instead of being them closer? Bring makes more sense to me.
“Woa, Lily, let’s keep things slow, shall we?” she said jokingly as she laid half on top of him, holding him to the ground.
2. In the above passage you have it that Lily says it. But why would Lily use her own name if she was talking. Also, it sounds more like a James thing to say.
...his thin sweater as he wrapped him arms around her.
3. I think you mean wrapped his arms around her. Yes?
O.K. , mistakes aside. This fic was excellent. I loved it and its idea's. Keep up the good work. 10/10
Oh, and extended it if you can. I'd love to read an extended version!
~ Parchment and Quill
P.S. Lily's fight with herself just made me laugh. It seems so much like me (I'm stubborn)
Favourite passage :
And the little voice in the back of her head sniggered.
lol! great story!! and oh my gosh it was so descriptive! i felt like i was really there!!!
So cute! I would love to see a full-length. Nice touch with the wet-start fireworks.
OMGOSH THIS IS SOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD YOU HAVE TO TURN IT INTO A CHAPTER FIC IT WOULD BE AWESOME
*lola is happy*
Wonderful. You know, I was actually thinking of writing a fic about Shiver, because its always reminded me so much of James and Lily! Well I'm happy I didn't because this was amazing, and I don't think that I could have compared. Since Jo Rowling also loves Coldplay, maybe she was inspired by this song. Hahaa, most likely not.
awesome so sweet love it!!!!
ohh i loved it, so romantic :]
YES!!! TURN THIS INTO A FULL FIC!!! This is soo cuteee =)
aww... its so sweet!!! you should totally turn ito a full fledged fic!
Aww, that was so sweet! I loved it! *squees* That's my James!
I don't think you should keep this one story going, but you could kind of make an on-going sequel. That way, anyone coming across this one-shot can have a fluffy one-shot for themselves without any cliffies or anything and they don't have to keep reading the sequel. But it would be GREAT if you made a chaptered sequel! So this one-shot could sort of be like a 'prolouge.'
aawwww thats so cute i really luved it!!!!
That was very well done.
that was a really enjoyable read, and you captured their relationship beautifully! i really liked it!