Reviewer: Snorkack
Date: 06/05/13 14:30
Chapter: Chapter 2: The Giant Squid

Potatoes weren't known in medieval Scotland and neither were anacondas . . . but apart from that, this is a great story, I'd often wondered about that squid, I hope there will be more about it - maybe a story about how it came to be immortal?

Reviewer: Vorona
Date: 08/03/10 22:24
Chapter: Chapter 1: Aramis Selby

I really enjoyed reading this story. It was unique and touching. It seems everyone always jokes about the Giant Squid, but here, you went in a completely different direction. One thing I noticed was your use of the omniscient point of view. It seems to be out of favor, but you did a great job! The third person limited also worked well, and I never got confused as to whose mind (narrator's or Selby's) I was in.

The only thing I would like is, well, more. I felt like Selby could have been a little more well-rounded. I felt, in particular, like there were things you told us about his character that could have been fleshed out more. You did a great job with his curiosity and thoughtfulness, but I was unsure of his motivations for telling Gryffindor about the egg and the basilisk. You wrote "But Gryffindor was his uncle, they were blood bound like all families were. It all had to do with loyalty, and truth." However, we don't really see this, and Gryffindor's wanting him to eat more and call him "uncle" clearly discomfited him. I didn't really get the sense that he felt great loyalty to him until he "said" it. Plus, it didn't fit with his own need to hide his diary, for example, so it came across as a little hypocritical, and I don't think that's what you were intending. A little more depth there would have been helpful.

Finally, I would definitely like to see this continue further. For one thing, I think you could put those things in perspective if given more time, but for another, you did raise some really interesting questions. I would have liked to at least see some of the diary. You mention that it's his truth and that his truth is so very different from how he is around others, but it seems we, too, only get to see the public Aramis. Another idea would be to have someone down the line find the diary. That could be extremely fascinating!

Overall, though, I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad I got to review it for the Ravenclaw tag. I might never have found it otherwise! Great job!

Author's Response: Thanks for the wonderful review! :) I'm glad you didn't find it confusing when I would shift from the narrator's mind to Selby's. I wanted the story to sound as though it were being told at a campfire. When I started 'fleshing out' Selby's character, I realised he had contradictions; some I fixed up but others I purposely left behind. The things he tells himself are not necessarily what he believes. For example, he understands the importance of loyalty to family and to Gryffindor, but there's a hint that other things he believes contradict this. I always planned on delving further into his character in a proper sequel, and I'm glad you sensed this could develop into a longer story. "Another idea would be to have someone down the line find the diary. That could be extremely fascinating!" You are so ahead :) This review has rekindled my motivation for writing the sequel of this story where I plan to delve deeper into Selby's mind and unravel some of those contradictions. Again thank you so much for this review. Off to writing! :)

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 01/02/10 2:25
Chapter: Chapter 2: The Giant Squid

Ooh, I love a good tale, and this one is definitely a tale. It reads almost like a campfire story, which makes it a great way to spend a quiet half-hour.

You took on the marvelous job of bringing the giant squid to Hogwarts, and you did so plausibly. I can almost picture Aramis hauling little Dennis Creevey out of the water nearly a thousand years after this story takes place. It seems like something that he would do as penance for his snooping around and guilt for being the catalyst that destroyed the relationship between Salazar and Godric.

This was a fascinating read, so thank you for writing it. Happy writing!

~Jess, Ravenclaw House.

Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I'm very glad you enjoyed the story and that you could see it fitting in well with canon. Much appreciated!

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 10/27/07 10:50
Chapter: Chapter 2: The Giant Squid

Wow, very interesting way for the Squid to come into existence...and it explains the gentleness of the creature. well written and very imaginative!

Author's Response: Thanks Cwiddy, what a nice review :)

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 10/27/07 10:44
Chapter: Chapter 1: Aramis Selby

wow, great story and it shows the cross traits that the houses can share. It tells the ending of the peace between Salazar and Gryffindor. Well written and described...and the character of Aramis has a large potential!

Author's Response: Thank you :) It's nice to know that

Reviewer: ClassicBeauty
Date: 02/18/07 13:09
Chapter: Chapter 2: The Giant Squid

great so far, looking forward to seeing what happens next with the "giant squid"

Author's Response: heh thanks. :) brewing the sequel at the moment

Reviewer: BeautifulDreamer07
Date: 02/17/07 18:15
Chapter: Chapter 1: Aramis Selby

Wow. This was very well done! You are a very talented writer. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Chocolate Frog by L A Moody 3rd-5th Years
Amid the desolation of Diagon Alley, a tiny ray of hope lay buried. Nothing...
I Suspect Nargles by foolondahill17 3rd-5th Years
“No one’s ever kissed me before…. What is one to do now?” An extensive...
The Life and Times of Linnea Potter by Cantatrix 1st-2nd Years
Linnea Potter has lived under the tyranny of her relatives for the better part...
FEATURED
Glass over the Flame by the opaleye 3rd-5th Years
Harry, Hermione, and the moments in between. He doesn’t say that this...
Tom Riddle and the Chamber of Secrets by CanisMajor 3rd-5th Years
What really happened the last time someone let the Basilisk out? Harry Potter...
Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. + This was...
Sybill Trelawney and the Unexpected Gift by Squibstress 3rd-5th Years
Sybill Trelawney learns to live with her Inner Eye, cooking sherry, and Minerva...
Pat-a-Cake by foolondahill17 1st-2nd Years
Molly Weasley II, called Pat, and twenty-one lot and little-known facts. Or...
Wood by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
Marcus Flint, the infamous Super Seventh Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch...
CATEGORIES