Hi Mel! My name is Ronnie and I wanted to tell you that I loved this story. You are a very wonderful writer and you have a lot of talent.
I read this a week ago, exactly, and I was stunned. I was reading it on my iPod at night and didn't get to finish it the first night because I ran out of battery. I swear I was going crazy because I wanted to continue reading! :D
You managed to create suspense wonderfully throughout the story while not overdoing it, as well as the romance in it. The parts where you had a character talking to Voldemort were definitely some of my favourite parts. I loved it, because it really had me wondering so much weather it was Draco or Orpheus. There was a time when I was sure it wasn't Draco but BAM, you threw in some stuff that had me doubting again.
There are some points of Hermione's characterization I would like to point out. During all of the books, we never see Hermione as weak, or intimidated by Draco. Though I understand that Hermione would have probably be scared to be sharing a dorm with a "former Death Eater", she wouldn't have given in and let Draco harrass her because in canon we see her as a strong girl, one who can fend for herself. She would've told Harry about her problems with Draco, at least.
And as for Draco, in the books he is a total wimp, yet you have him as a strong, perfect guy which is hard to believe at times. I have to be honest with you and say I fell in love with him, but this is not the Draco we see in canon, though you managed to keep him more in character at times than Hermione. I see him harrassing Hermione but not to the extent to which he hits her. Though, probably, he might have changed during his time with the Death Eaters about it, seeing as how you said they treated him, you make it seem plausible. Having him take his anger out on her, I mean.
What I think it is really hard about writing Dramione is that they don't fit together, so we have to tweak their characterizations to manage it, so I understand why you did it. And, don't get me wrong, you did it amazingly because I've read some other fanfics...
Other things I wanted to say- Crabbe and Goyle. You made them seem like mindless trolls (which they are) but you kind of exaggerated and Pansy, she is not that shallow. She at least is a bit witty, considering on how she comes up with insults for everybody in the Gryffindor house, and a little bit brave, because she insulted older students.
There were some parts of the plot that seemed a bit clichéd, like the Masquerade Ball. I've read it so many times that it has grown a little bit boring. And, I think, it was very predictable that the girl who Draco danced with was Hermione.
As for the end of the story. Wow. Wow. Wow. You left me fumbling for words. I definitely didn't see that coming. Harry and Ginny dying, Draco sending her to Azkaban. Whoa.
You did an amazing job. Sorry if I sounded as if I didn't like the story, because I really did. Actually, I will add it to my favourites as soon as I submit this review.
Congratulations on finishing such an amazing story,
Author's Response: Hi Ronnie!
First, I want to thank you for taking the time to write out such a stunning review. This is definitely the most detailed feedback I've ever received, and I'm flattered by it. I definitely don't claim to have written a perfect story, so please know that I will take this review to heart. The only way my writing - or anyone's writing, for that matter - can improve is through critiques and revisions, which I take very seriously. So, again, your time in writing this was not wasted. :)
Second, I'd like to address some of your comments on characterization. You bring up very good points about both Hermione and Draco. Draco was definitely the harder of the two to keep canon, so it surprised me when you noted that Hermione seemed more OOC. The only reason I can give you is this: in my experience, who people are in public, even with friends, is usually different from who they are by themselves. I don't want to say that people wear "masks" necessarily; it's more like personas. It could be that we see Hermione as strong in the books simply because we rarely saw her alone and unguarded. She was almost always a part of the Trio, figuring something out or getting them out of trouble. But what about the times when she was in the Library? Or late at night when her only company was her cat? I think that Hermione is more than just a strong, female character - she's still a human. She can be weak and vulnerable and emotional. I think that because Rowling wrote in a "Harry-centric" way, we only saw Hermione in his context, if that makes sense. Not saying Rowling did a bad job of it, of course, just that she had more to focus on than the inner-workings of a love-struck teenage witch. :)
As for Draco, I have to disagree. I don't see him as strong or perfect. Following an order is so simple it's almost mindless. Even if his means were crafty, the end-game was clear-cut. If he had been strong, he would have chosen a different path for both himself and Hermione, but that can be explored more later. ;)
My secondary characters were weak, true, and I kick myself every time someone mentions the masquerade. Hahaha. It was fun to write and, at the time, utterly perfect for what I wanted, but looking back on it...::shudders:: I could have done better. Haha
Again, thank you so much for the review. I hope I addressed some of your queries without sounding defensive. I really do appreciate your feedback! :)
Most sincerely, Mel.
Wow wow wow! I thought this was actually incredible! Draco is my favourite character, and I thought you portrayed him perfectly! I'm definitely reading the sequel now :-)
Author's Response: Fantastic! Thank you!
i just loved ........i am unable to find the sequel..please do guide me
Author's Response: The sequel is called, "The Resilient" and you should be able to find it on my author's page or by doing a search. Good luck!
that was an unexpected ending. i like your story veryyyy much! thanks a bunch for writing sucha good fic
Author's Response: You're welcome! And thank you so much for reviewing!!
This story blew me away! Once I started reading I could not stop, I read it in one sitting. I would never have accepted Draco and Herminone, but you convinced me one chapter at a time.
I cried more than once. I have started "The Resilent", please, please, please post quickly.
I don't know how you do everything you do, but don't stop writing! You have a true gift. Thank you for sharing it.
Author's Response: Oh gosh, one sitting?? I always marvel at people who can do that...haha. I'm glad I got you to accept the Draco/Hermione 'ship - it can be a tough transition. Thank you so, so much for the lovely review!!
OMG! WTF! So messed up. SO MESSED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Hahah, yeah...
Who the hell is that ghost and what does she want with Draco?
Author's Response: Dun dun duuuuuun...
Your so good at writing that it feels that I'm whith them at every moment. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? I mean, I'm a writer myself, evven in my faild atemps to write my own fic. (Which I have of course, but every time I log on a day or two after writing it, becoms non existant.) I look forward to reading all your chapters. Aside from schoolwork, your story is all I can think of. (no joke!) At times, my boyfriend has to literally pry me from the computer screen, because I cant stop reading! Anyway, I love this fic and I do think you are a fantastic writer. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Haha, you should tell your bf to read it with you!! Lol. But thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it!
Author's Response: Thanks!
I love your story and am looking forward to what's coming.
You're a very good writer and very unique. That's pretty awesome so keep on writing.
Author's Response: Thank you! I definitely will. :)
how can i read the sequel? didn't you say that ull post up the 1st chapter before the alternate ending? but i cant find the sequel on your profile
Author's Response: It should be up now. The sequel is called "The Resilient." Hope you find it!
how do I read the ending?
WOW!! Such an incredibly strong, heart wrenching ending. I can not wait to read the continuation.
Author's Response: Thank you! Can't wait to see you there!
i was right! it was channing! i want to punch him in the face! but harry! he's gone harry can't die! and ginny why did ginny have to go?! i'm glad nothing happened to fred and george tho. but draco? no no no he loves hermione i don't understand i never saw this coming. hermione and draco are just so perfect. :( its beatifully written tho. i wish u could publish this i'd buy it soooo fast! i can't wait to read the sequel! :)
Author's Response: Haha, I wish I could publish it too, but I would not like to meet J.K. Rowling in a courtroom, of all places. I'm glad you liked the story, though. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!
WHAT?!?!?! nooooooooooo Draco has to be the good guy! he can't be the bad guy! this is wrong all wrong! i don't like it! but i'll keep reading because i'm addicted. o and i still hate Channing's guts.
Author's Response: Haha, you're not the only one...
i hate channing i hate channing i hate channing i hate channing i HATE channing!
uh oh! somethings gonna happen somethings gonna happen!
poor draco he needs a big hug from me! lol but this is really really good. but that dude that keeps kissing hermione is the one that's talking to voldemort! i know it in my gut! he's a really bad guy! y can't moody see it? he needs to get his magical eye fixed so he can see what's going on!
omg! he wasn't drunk! holy cow! this is soooooo good!
gasp what's going to happen next!