i havnt even read this (but from the comments i assume it is good) however you seem to have forgotten malfoys mother (narcissa) she is a black too... ballatrix and andromedas sister.
Author's Response: Cissy's there.
That was really good. I like how it all rhymes too. Andromeda is by far one of my favourite characters and even though she probably hated her family, she obviously loved them too. I especially like how you explored how none of the Blacks were born bad. They just became bad. Anyway, fabulously written, well done.
Author's Response: Thank you. I love all the Blacks.
Amazing. I like to use full sentences in my poems most of the time, and it was nice to see one that wasn't short little lines. This was powerful and very descriptive. I loved how you went through all the characters. Amazing job dear.
Author's Response: Thanks so much. This is one of my longer poems. I'm glad you liked it.
Such a very sad but powerful piece. I loved how you described the members of the family, I actually knew who you were talking about every time without doing much thinking.
The last of the Black blood and bone.
This will be the end of the family tree.
A very sad ending that really sums up the theme of the poem, that she is now alone.
And I had to watch each of them die.
Another very sad line. You did a great job of making the reader sympathetic towards her dreadful situation. This was an amazing piece, you should write more dark and sad poems like this one.^_^
Author's Response: Pretty much everything I write is dark and sad. I'm just a cheery person like that. :P
Anyway, thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
Very nice insight into Andromeda's mind and her losses. I was really holding my breath hoping that at least Tonks made it and then I realized you killed off both her and Draco...*sniffles*...thanks for a great read!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hated killing off the Blacks, you know how I attached I am to them, especially Bella.
Thanks again for the review!
aw, wow...very very nice poem. Great job. :)
Author's Response: Thanks very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
I love this Elle! The whole poem has a sombre mood to it, you can really feel Andromeda’s pain, not just for herself and her daughter but for all her family and all of the things that have happened. There is a real sense of regret here, which makes the poem so powerful.
I sit here in the dark, knowing I will always be alone.
I like how this establishes the mood of the poem. It’s a scene that you can picture as well – Andromeda sitting by herself in the dark, with it perhaps growing darker and darker but her having no strength to turn on a light. Her family is gone and she is alone…wow. I also like the way that you’ve written “beneath stone” for her family – a sort of euphemism for death I guess, but it works so well.
Memories of laughter and life dance through my mind.
There were so very few days of happiness and light.
I never dreamed that the world could be so unkind.
I never dreamed they would become victims of the fight.
This has got to be one of my favourite stanzas. It’s simplicity makes the pain and the sadness shine through even more. The repetition in the last two lines is really effective, and it sort of echoes what a lot of people probably think too – the whole “it won’t happen to me” stigma. And it contrasts starkly to the part before it, like it’s bringing Andromeda out of her happy memories and back into her harsh reality again.
I think of Sirius’ sweet, baby brother.
The quiet child with dreams to reach the sky.
I love this. There’s a sense of innocence to Regulus here and really makes us feel regret that his ‘dreams; were never achieved, and that he went astray, died young and never really got to *live*.
I like the change you made to the last line! :) There’s a finality to it which works really well – I also like your use of ‘Black blood and bone’. Alliteration, ooh! Lol… But yeah, that line is awesome; there’s a sense of the heritage of the family with the word choice.
Overall, you’ve done a fantastic job on this poem! *huggles Elle* The mood is defined and enhanced throughout by the rhyme and word choice. I love the theme, and how Andromeda thinks of all of her family who have suffered. I hope you continue to write more poetry!
Author's Response: Wow, Suzie! Thanks so much for reviewing and betaing.
I'm glad I captured Andromeda's anguish so well. I'm still a little bit stuttery with poetry, as you know. ;)
I'm glad you liked the changes to the last stanza. The blood and bone line was my favorite in the bone. :D So, I'm glad you liked it as well. Also, it's good to know that I no longer sound like the terminator. ;) I'm still chuckling over that, by the way.
Thanks again, for leaving a review!
Wow, Elle. That was a very powerful poem. I wasn't sure what to really expect when I opened it as my first thought was, "Oh, it's a poem!" (never really triend them) I read it and it just made me feel her pain and dispair. I wanted to reach out and give her a hug and tell her it would get easier over time. (ie: the pain) Very impressive, my dear.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, Nicole. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I'm still new to poetry writing, but it's nice to hear that it's coming along nicely.