The tawny owl was a wonderful Patronus to use!
This story set up the Patronus well, though sometimes the writing felt a little perfunctory, sort of bare bones and not very rich in imagery, character motivations and so on and so forth. But congrats on placing!
Author's Response: I think I know what you mean about the lack of imagery. The problem was partly that I envision the memories coming in flashes and bits and pieces, unlike when viewed in a pensieve where every detail is perfectly clear. I was also concerned that adding too much detail to the memories would give the reader a false sense of too much time passing. Perhaps I overdid it, I'll have to go back and take a look. Thanks for the suggestion and the review!
I love it and going through the motions as well. I hope you win. Good Luck
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed them! :)
This is cuddly, cozy, and sweet. I love the way you've taken an unknown character like Ollivander and made him into a fresh, new, interesting character with a wife and child. Helen is adorable by the way! Great story!
Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much for your kind review!
oh, wow. This was a truly excellent story! Silvanus was a beautiful character, and I got all teary when he told his Patronus to circle Helen. I'll admit I was shouting, 'Helen! When you had her! That's your memory!' in my head as he ran through the others, but it was realistic since he was under harsh circumstances. I also liked his unhappy memories- an interesting selection. Great job! I'll have to read the other story now as well.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I have to admit I felt like a rather mean person in giving Silvanus those unhappy memories. Hopefully the happy ones make up for it. Thanks gain for your lovely review and I hope you enjoy Going Through The Motions as well.
Well done, Hypatia! I enjoyed reading your contest entry very much. I feel that most parents could easily use the birth of a child as a strong, happy memory for the Patronus Charm. It seemed to fit that this memory was the one that produced the corporeal Patronus. I also really liked is the way you inserted what Silvanus was thinking as he performed the spell. I think it helps the reader really connect with the scene well. Finally, your selection of the form of the Patronus worked nicely too. I don’t know if you really needed to explain the presence of the Dementors in an author’s note (in my opinion). I mean, it didn’t hurt anything. But, I think the beasts proved on more than one occasion that they were somewhat unruly regardless of whether or not they were under Ministry control. All in all, a very good job! Good luck in the contest.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you enjoyed it! As to the author's note, I'll consider removing it. I think you're right in that it doesn't add to the story (and I certainly hope it doesn't take away from it!) Thank you so much for your thoughtful review!
I like it.
Author's Response: Thanks :)
