Reviewer: whittyleah
Date: 12/10/07 15:37
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow. I love the light you gave to Lucius and Narcissa's marriage. I don't think I have ever read someone talk about Narcissa's feelings about her marriage that way.

You gave Narcissa a great personality and her thoughts were believable. I could totally see her marriage happening that way.

I would have liked more story from in-between the engagement and the wedding though.

Great job!

~Leah

Author's Response: I think when I was writing it, I was writing quickly and somehow incorporated that into the story...to make it fast-paced, so that things seem to be happening suddenly. Eh... Thanks, Leah! ^_^

Reviewer: megan_lupin
Date: 08/15/07 22:59
Chapter: Chapter 1

Firstly, I'll say that I love your portrayal of Narcissa, and though I've always seen the Malfoys' relationship in a bit of a different light than you've portrayed here, I think your characters work very well in their parts.



I really like the final paragraph, and I think it brings the story together in such a great way, especially the last couple of lines. "He had only prolonged her suffering." Excellent line, and a great way to conclude the story.



I also think that having the suicide aspect with the lake -- a place that had always been important to Narcissa and held a deeper level than just any old thing -- was an excellent touch. I've read several stories where characters try suicide, but rarely is there an important thing with the method. Here, you have great symbolism in that the lake was always a sort of freeing place for her in her past, and she chooses to have it "free" her from the world. Again, great job on that.



Now, I have a few nit-picky typos:



He remained quite for quite a long time,



The "quite" here, I'm sure, is meant to be "quiet".



Narcissa stood dully in front of her mirror, as her sister Bellatrix gushed happily,



I don't believe you'd need a comma after "mirror".



Other than that, I didn't see much wrong with the tale. Like I said earlier, your portrayal of the characters -- though different than how I like to portray them -- was quite realistic and believable, especially with Narcissa.



Like I said, great story.



~Megan

Author's Response: Thanks for your detailed review and your nitpicks! I'm also very glad you caught the bit of symbolism with the lake, it's one of my favorite parts of the story.

Reviewer: James Jameson
Date: 08/08/07 10:34
Chapter: Chapter 1

aw... cissy before her marriage. Stupid lucius. gosh i hate him. I was drawn to the story because of the beautiful banner. it was lovely!

Author's Response: The banner or the story was lovely? ;) Hopefully, both. xD Thanks for your review!

Reviewer: _Ivy_
Date: 07/23/07 17:46
Chapter: Chapter 1

Dear, this is just excellent! *huggles* It seems even better than the first time I read it.

-Laila/pureblood.princess

Author's Response: Thanks, Laila!

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