This is a lovely, delicate and very sensitive piece of writing. It flows wonderfully and you handled the shifting POVs very gracefully. The detail of each character is amazing. I love it.
This was really good! I especially liked the Ginny part.
Oh my goodness! That was absolutely wonderful; I nearly cried. You have such a lovely way with words--that was almost like poetry.
That was just lovely! It was beautifully written! Well done.
Im in tears.
That was so sad, yet so beautiful.
Ive hardely ever read a fan fic like it.
Here are my favorite lines:
Molly doesn’t allow herself to think of it, but she fears that perhaps the only thing worse than losing Fred and George would be losing only one of them.
Thats how I feel about it!
He still wants to be a hero; it’s the only one of his dreams that she doesn’t want to come true.
Thats a really good line!
Thanks for writng this fan-fic
I don't know if I've already reviewed this, but I had to say something.
'Molly wonders where he is — if he’s cold, if he’s hungry; she plans out a month of his favorite meals to make for him when he gets back. When she tells Arthur (at the kitchen table, after dinner has been cleared away) he goes very still, and this is how she knows he doesn’t think their son is coming back. '
I love that part. I love the whole thing, really.
This fic is so beautiful and so sad! I absolutely love your ability to write flowing, drifting narrative. It’s like poetry, with rhythm and imagery and oh, oh, so much emotion. I actually cried as I read it, especially the parts about Charlie and Fred and George. Poor, poor Molly… and Arthur, who thinks his son will die… and… all of them. This fic is absolutely wonderful.
Oh, my. Incredible job. There is a lot of truth and a lot of love contained in just this one story.
Wow, this piece is so beautiful and you are such a good writer. I can't believe you wrote it pre-Deathly Hallows, it feels like it fits almost perfectly with the new book. I cried when I read this, I really did. Expecially the line about only one twin dying, it's such a sad but incredibly true point of view. I love this piece!
This story is beautiful, and I mean it. I love the Weasley family so much and you've described them all so well!
Wow! This is amazing. The way your words just seemed to flow into one another and the small details that brought everything together kept me in a trance from the beginning to the end. Keep up the wonderful work.
It fits so well with Deathly Hallows, yet doesn't give anything away. Wonderful!
I agree with HermioneDancr about the section on Ron. What about, "... and she realises he doesn't think their son is coming back."?
Nevertheless, very well written, including the parentheses (plural of parenthesis).
i quite enjoyed this little story! it was very well written. gah, poor molly, the thought of her worrying about all those kids - *sigh*
it was wonderful =]
O Nan who believes “’tis good, to have a salivating muse,” this story is a true delicacy! I read bits of this story when you were working on it, long before I read it in its entirety. Those bits touched me. Then I read it all put together, and it floored me. I actually teared up. Which is more than I can say for Deathly Hallows, even.
We have (once) disagreed over parenthesis (or brackets) in your stories. But here… they’re quite perfect. The voice you started to find with I Would Give You Violets has blossomed here. It didn’t quite gel then, not entirely, beautiful as the story was. But here… it adds that aching note of thoughtfulness. Gah. I don’t really have words to describe it, and those are as close as I can find. Hopefully they make sense to you.
I don’t really have much to say, in terms of criticism. This story does what it set out to do. Perhaps it is not your most ambitious story, but the story as written, fulfills the entire potential of the story as conceived (there I go again, possibly nonsense). There is nothing that could be added without subtracting from the balance and symmetry of the whole. I love the symmetry between Bill—the first—and Ginny—the last.
I found one small nitpick, but I see that it might be considered a matter of taste. In the section on Bill: (he’s been in love since he was seventeen, one girl or another — he likes the way their hair moves, the softness of their fingers). You may have done this intentionally, but I’m not sure… should it be with one girl or another?
My other nitpick is that one sentence struck me as more awkward than the rest. In the section on Ron: When she tells Arthur (at the kitchen table, after dinner has been cleared away) he goes very still, and this is how she knows he doesn’t think their son is coming back. It’s not the parenthetical that makes it choppy (I rather like it, actually). I think it’s something about the “and this is how she knows he doesn’t.” It’s just… overly complicated, diction wise. It’s not bad so much as less excellent as the rest of the story.
This shouldn’t be surprising, given that you know my mathematical tendencies, but my favorite thing about this story is how you use the motif of counting to bring the story together. Flower petals, years, children, plates, heart breaks. It’s not about the numbers (as I seem to constantly explain about math). It’s the act of counting that communicates how precious the counted is. You’ve captured that beautifully. *loves*
Wow, this piece is so beautiful and you are such a good writer. I can't believe you wrote it pre-Deadly Hallows, it feels like it fits almost perfectly with the new book. I cried when I read this, I really did. Expecially the line about only one twin dying, it's such a sad but incredibly true point of view. I love this piece!
Very well written!
This is such a beautiful piece of writing. Everything about it is so poised and the characterisation is so detailed and delicate. You managed to make the writing feel as fragile as the lives of Molly's children and I think that complements the subject matter perfectly. It's rare to see the use of brackets employed this well. A very moving piece of writing. :-)