Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 06/04/08 18:04
Chapter: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

That made my day.
10/10

Author's Response: Ohh! Thank you so much! Learning that this story was validated made my day.

Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves
Date: 06/04/08 16:56
Chapter: Chapter 7: That Romance Chapter

*gasp* It's over.

Yaay! Percy's Minister again. And Vlad has an editorial... how cool!

Nitpick- Hospital Wing should be capitalized.

I love the Jordan transformation- it really brings out his character into a better light. After all, he isn't as 'awkward, unsociable, and irritable as he used to be.' You're very good at gradually aging your characters, by the way- they all seem to mature at their own pace and in their own way.

Jordan's happy! :O That's a first. I have a new found adoration for him. I have a feeling I'll like him even more in the next book...

You make Harry sound more like a kid than the ultra-serious guy most authors portray him as. I like your characterization- it seems more likely he would act this way around his kids, then all serious and commanding and stuff (after all, as you said in the previous paragraphs, he's not his son ^_^)

Just like Jordan, Haley's character shines through really well too. She is very trusting, and sort of like her mother in that way.

'Nother nitpick- when Harry says "...if you can’t see where they keep your brains?" Since Lee's not keeping Haley's brains anywhere, this part doesn't really make sense.

*gasp* Lee is Lily! Never mind that I already knew that from the other story... but it was a very nice way to reveal it.

I don't get what Ted means when he says "There wolf, there castle." Is he pretending to be a cave man or something?

*gak* Hagrid died before he got married? YOU CRUEL, CRUEL WOMAN, YOU!

“Care too much about how other people treat us and not enough about how we treat other people sometimes.” Is an awesome line. I love it! It's one of the best lines of the story.

And I love the wizarding Gieco reference! Do they use a gecco, or something else?

And I absolutely positively adore the paragraphs from “Do you, you know, uh, wanna rehearse for our play again?” (awesome fluffiness!) to 'Once again, Tyrone whistled through his teeth, though for an entirely different reason this time.'

Jordan got a hug! And you didn't invite me???

The last bit is totally... wonderful, amazing writing. It's not fancy or anything, but it's very true and describes the story perfectly. You always sum things up nicely- this was a marvelous end to The Truth. I'll miss these characters (even Tyrone!) during the posting waits, but Pride and Prejuiced Plums will keep me alive.

I can't possibly pick a favorite anymore- they're all so wonderful and unique in their own right. Least favorite... I don't have any, either, because we can't pick Marina ^_^ And I think picking Charybdis Nott would also be cheating. I relate to all of them, especially since they're all so real and believeable.

No matter how well you sum things up, I naturally have more questions. Will the foreign students be in the next book? Will Ron's past have to do with him killing Snape and all the other dudes? Do we meet Anatoly because of the Inter-House Unity project? Who dies- and when? (No, I don't think you'll answer this one, but I thought I'd slide it in.) Will I be sad when whoever dies? Do Haley and Jordy get boy/girlfriends? Will I ever shut up? (The answer is no.)

Well, it's sad to say goodbye for now, but seeing as the story's come to end, it's quite the necessity. I'm quite anxious to read The Past, but will obviously have to wait. (I don't think now's the best time to start shouting, 'Update soon!')

To sum up this extraordinarily long review, this book was amazing, funny, romantic, and a wonderful read.

~PnP

PS- One more question! (listens to groans) This is a safe-to-answer, non-rhetorical one. Do you have the whole family tree sketched out for the Weasleys/Potters? I was wondering.

Author's Response: Are you a beta? You're really good at noticing these little mistakes. Thanks for pointing them out! I probably won't edit them, because I'm lazy, but I appreciate it.

rnI think Harry should be rather wise, just because of all he's been through, but he's still human-- he's not, like, Mufasa from the Lion King or anything. Actually, Harry in these stories is a lot more like a slightly idealized version of my own dad... I don't really have such a clear image of a grown-up Ginny, so she's not really in these stories much. Oh, by the way, I edited out the bit in Pride and Prejuiced Plums where it said Lee was Lily! After the first two reviews, I went "... whoops," and changed it. I'm a sneaky litle devil.

rnWhen Ted said, "There wolf... there castle..." It's a reference to the infamous movie (and now a Broadway musical!), "Young Frankenstein." At one point, a werewolf howls, and Frankenstein goes, "WEREWOLF?!?" and Igor points and says, "There-wolf. There castle." It's one of my favourite quotes, and I had to use it. Such a cheesy pun on were/where.

rnI'm such a fluffy, cheesy person... I think you can best describe my stories as being the junk food of MNFF. No real substance, and not especially good for you, but fun and addicting?

rnArden and Marina will briefly appear in "The Past," toward the end, but sadly, Vladislav does not appear in person. We do see Giorgi a lot, though. Ron's past does have to do with killing Snapers, and we do meet Ani because of the Inter-House Unity Project. You are a gooood guesser. And the person who dies kicks the bucket in Chapter 23 (at least, right now-- I may edit it later and change where it happens). So it'll be quite some time before the person dies. As for Haley and Jordy, well, I'm zippin' my lips!

rnI do have the family tree sketched out! I think I'll post it on my art thread on the forums, since it might be helpful.

Reviewer: ringobeatlesfan4
Date: 06/04/08 16:49
Chapter: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

“What do you mean?” the boy responded smoothly. “So, uh, what’s up?”

“The sun,” Emma replied flatly.
^^Awww. Emma and her sarcasm, which is so much like mine. I really love her! And I think this story says 'Completed:no', so is it???

Lily Elizabeth Evans?? Oh! I expected Lee to be Lee Jordan! But I love that Haley can keep the diary. Is Harry gonna write in it as well??

So unaware, in fact, that they did not notice a line figure standing in the hall, a sneer of cynical amusement contorting his lips. “So,” drawled Professor Zabini. “This would be the ‘love’ part of your little love-hate relationship, I gather?”

Emma pulled herself away from Tyrone and held herself in a straight, dignified manner. “And you would be the ‘hate’ part,” she answered calmly.

“What did you say?” hissed Zabini.

“I think you heard me, Mr. Potato Head,” she said. “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Professor Potato Head.” And with that, she stalked away, hair swaying emphatically in her wake.

Once again, Tyrone whistled through his teeth, though for an entirely different reason this time.
^^This.was.bloody.BRILLIANT! Emma is awesome! I just got yelled @ by one of my teachers today, and I have to admit, I was rather sarcastic during it.

Now, for the request:
Favorite OC: VLAAAADISLAAAAAV. or Giorgi. I can't decide.
Least Favorite OC: Sadly, shy, sensitive Arden
1 I can relate to most: A combo of deep Vlad, Giorgi's originality, determined Emma, and cocky Tyrone.

Now: THIS WAS AWESOME!!! I really liked it. Arden's drawing was awesome, and Vlad was so awesome (Haley/Vladislav ship comes to mind. *nudges* huh? huh?) and I loved how Emma was so calm with Zabini. I am so like her, and therefore, she is my favorite.Not that I don't like the others, as I like Giorgi and Ted as well. (I actually made my mom take me shopping for a pair of plaid Converse high tops like Giorgi's yesterday.) And so, this is the sad part: The ending made me cry. For some strange reason that remains unknown, I got very emotional when I got up to the Lily Elizabeth Evans part, and it boiled over once I got to 'When at last their waving subsided', I cried. Your ending was so powerful. I can't wait for The Past to come up, and it sounds really good. Also, I can't draw to save my life. Unless it's a coffee mug. I rock at coffee mugs. So, my last review for The Truth comes to an end, with a zzzeliontasticaliciousastic/10. Schmergo, you have outdone yourself. You are a legend!!! {BeccA} P.S. That guy in Love a Duck named Erasmus, I just read about him in history!!! *i am so easily amused*

Author's Response: It says it's complete now. ^_^ Sorry to disappoint!

rnI really like Emma, and I'm so glad I wrote her a spin-off story. She's a fun character... I think she can best be described as the little voice in the back of my head that says nasty thoughts that I'd never say out loud, the most honest and blunt person. It's very therapeutic to write about her. ^_^

rnI don't know if Harry's going to write in the diary-- I think he's grown up and he's the age now where he's accepted the fact that his parents died and moved on. I'm not sure how healthy it would be for Harry, especially since it's not *really* his mother, just her personality, and she's only seventeen years old, and it's just odd. I don't know, I never really thought about this before. Thanks for bringin' it up.

rnIt's so cool that you like Vladislav! I was worried people wouldn't like him, but I do... sadly, he's not in the third book (only a couple of brief mentions), but there is a character named Anatoly who's very eccentric and has a similar sense of humour to Vlad's. I'm so glad you liked this!

rnDesiderius Erasmus came up on my SOL (standardized test) for history, and I kinda started laughing like an idiot...rn

Reviewer: Pussycat123
Date: 06/04/08 16:40
Chapter: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

For some reason I feel like sobbing. Only in a good way. I'm such a sucker for believing in yourself and conquering the world (uh, metaphorically) cliches at the moment. Even the song 'Defying Gravity' from Wicked makes me want to cry. In a good way. So all this finding yourself and growing up and sticking together has really got to me. In a good way.

Gosh, it's going to be really hard to pick favourite and least favourite OCs. Well, okay, Jordan for the favourite. But I also love Haley and Ted (TED! Why did I never notice how adorable he was until the last two chapters? It was the zoo that did it) and Vladislav and Giorgi and Apple, even though he was a bit wackadoo. I'm trying really hard to think of a least favourite OC but I can't. Except for Marina, but she's been banned. I even like Arden, because she reminds me of me three or four years ago (until I finally started making some really good friends at my school, and stopped being so annoying and shy to the point of stupidity. My past self REALLY annoys me. Luckily, now I'm more like Ivy crossed with a slightly toned down Haley). Um ... ooh, I know! My least favourites are those two guys with the weird names beginning with S who rigged the tournament for Apple. Yeah. I hate those guys. Yeesh. What were you thinking? =D

Also ... LEE IS LILY! I TOTALLY DIDN'T GUESS THAT! I read the theory in a review, but I didn't really hold much by it. I thought it was Lee Jordan (Hey, Lee Jordan's last name is Jordan! I never realised until now!). But it makes much more sense for it to be Lily, especially if James or someone had shown her the trick with the map, and she decided to do the same with a diary. I loved the way she was like "Why is everyone asking me that nowadays?" I love Lily. Especially when she's a little bit kooky. Which is why I wrote so many fics about her being kooky.

Although I don't know why you had to include that bit about Hagrid dying. Yeesh. Way to bum everyone out. Unless that was mentioned before now, and I just forgot. Whatever. Poor Hagrid.

Meanwhile, what past could Ron possibly have that could land him in serious trouble? That he once bought a book with tips on how to attract the opposite sex, then gave it to Harry for a birthday present and swore that it taught him all he knew?

Oh, wait. When you put it like that, you can kind of see why he'd want to keep it quiet. =D

Anyway, to conclude, I loved the chapter, I loved the book as a whole, and I love the series. I love Jordan, and also now Ted, although Jordan will always be my special favourite for old time's sake. Not that I didn't love Ted before, but ... the zoo thing means that I love him even more now. I'm also dreading someone dying in the next book. That's going to majorly suck. Are you sure you can't change it at the last moment? Please? No? Fine. Be that way.

Thanks for keeping me entertained! Still muddling through these exams ... so it's especially fun to take a break and read this every now and then.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you! I'm the cheesiest person in the world, so I love sticking in all of these cliches! (And, yes, "Defying Gravity" does make me cry, too. Even when I'm singing it. Though that might just be because of my terrifying voice! Also, the soundtracks to Tarzan and Brother Bear make me cry. DARN YOU, PHIL COLLINS!)

rnYour OC preferences seem to be extreeemely similar to mine. Jordan first, closely followed by Ted and Haley. I think my personal least favourite is Ivy, but then, I'm so different from her that I have a bit of trouble relating to her. I'm actually really pleased that you didn't guess who Lee was... I was worried that absolutely everyone would. And I really adore your kooky Lily (not enough people write her kooky!), so I just thought I'd mention that.

rnAs for Hagrid, I mentioned a couple times throughout the first and second books that he'd died, but the real reason why I killed him was that I was a hundred percent sure that JK Rowling would kill him in the seventh book. I killed off all of the characters that I thought were going to die, not necessarily who I wanted to die. (For example, Lucius Malfoy. I loved that jerk. But I thought he'd die for sure.)rn

Reviewer: Luna_Lovegood11
Date: 06/04/08 16:24
Chapter: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

Ohmigod! It's over! :( It seems like it just started! It was wonderful! And I can't wait for The Past!!

I LOVED the Jordan piece. He's all gwowed up! I'm glad he's not going to be a perfectionist anymore!
I guessed the Lee thing. ^_^ It WAS easy, but creative too! I bet Harry's gonna be writing in that diary as much as Hayley, hehe.
Ted-y! I loved their little part too. The way you described Ted was PERFECT. I don't know how you came up with such a realistic character!!
Emma and Tyrooney... :) They are so made for each other! And they hugged! OMG! Professor Potato Head! HAHAH!
Arden is cool. I stole her nickname for Ted for a story I'm writing... I got this prompt off this site and switched it up. Theo is this mysterious dude who's rather evil, thirsts for knowledge, and had hair that hangs in his eyes and hides their intensity. So different from Arden's Theo!!
It's amazing how much Jordan and I are alike. Same name, both former perfectionists, don't care about looks, get good grades, hang around more with the opposite gender, and now the NO HUGS RULE! I either 1) bite people that hug me 2) whack them 3) shriek and claw them 4) try to get away 5) all of the above.

I WANT A HALEY!

Awesome job!!!!!! Update SOON!!

~Rory~

P.S. My eyes went HUGE when you said you found Edward repulsive. In my opinion, he's swoon worthy! . *shrugs* Everybody's got an opinion...
P.P.S. Gave up on P&P.

Author's Response: The Past will be coming soonish, and I hope you enjor it! Yeah, Jordan's still gonna be a perfectionist, just not quite as much. He's feeling a little more comfortable in his world than he did before. Oh poo, everyone guessed the Lee thing, and I'm all bleeehhh. As for Harry writing in the diary, that gives me a really funny mental image... I'mn so glad you liked Ted! And the Tyrone/Emma shipping... that's a little taste for Pride and Prejuiced Plums, I guess!

rnI've always loved the name 'Theo'... and 'Jordan,' for that matter, actually. It's pretty cool that you're like Jordan, seeing as he's actually my favourite of the bunch. In some respects, I think I'm a lot like him (just the way I see the world, how I act when I'm in a bad mood, music tastes), but in most respects, I'm really his opposite, so he's always fascinated me. I'm also not much of a hugging person, though I do hug people on special occasions/when it's appropriate for the situation. I just hate it when people hug like twenty times a day-- "OMG, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR TEN MINUTESSSS!" I think it kinda cheapens it.

rnThe reason why I don't like Edward is that he seems a bit stifling/dramatic/possessive, and I'd like a more friendly, more relaxed kind of relationship. He's very romantic, but I'm not a very romantic person. Also, he's always described as cold and hard and being compared to a Greek statue-- not exactly my type. My type is more of a really lanky and awkward nerd guy with a goofy, fun personality.

Reviewer: harry_victoria
Date: 06/04/08 16:01
Chapter: Chapter 13: In Which Lee Comes To Light

Aw, it's over. :( Well, I'm so happy that there's going to be a next one, and this one was fun to read! Thanks for posting. xx.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I should be submitting the next one somewhere between two weeks and a month. The next one will be supa long.

Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 05/30/08 17:44
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

pssssssssst! when is the third one coming!? *i think giorgi and jordan are cute together!* i love giorgi's sense of style! i kinda didnt like arden. it annoyed me that she was ashamed of being a werewolf. you are who you are, even if you want to change that. GIORGI AND ARDEN ARE POLAR OPPOSITES!(a great revelation on my part. just realized this) plus, i would totally be giorgi's friend. what is wrong with the girls at her school?
awesome as usual! COMPLETE TRILOGY POR FAVOR!
P.S. i, um, kinda...........i kindafailedalgebra. but only for a second! i now have an 80! my teacher was like "tuff tootle birds!" at first but then he took my old assignments. ;p

but anyway. GREATNESS! oh, and i love how haley was running like an airplane to vladislav. even though i'm gonna be 16 soon, (ok. next year. i'll be 15 soon!) i would totally do that! and i might've. recently. *whistles nonchalantly*

Author's Response: The third one is coming a couple of weeks after Chapter Thirteen of this one (the last chapter) is up... this one's not done yet. It may be two weeks to a month... I need to do some serious work on Pride and Prejuiced Plums and "Love A Duck," so it'll be a bit before the second one. I kinda didn't like Arden, either, but she's just the kind of person I don't really like in real life. Sorry about your algebra-- I'm actually doing better in math than I usually do, and same with chemistry (my other worst class) As for Haley running like an airplane to Vladislav, she's sixteen and she still does it!

Reviewer: bubblegumpinkhair
Date: 05/28/08 22:27
Chapter: Chapter 6: In Which Various French People Anger Various English People

Me thinks I need a ride on Tyrone's giraffe =].

Wonderful chapter Schmergo, I'm really interested in what Jordan is planning to do!! I shall leave a complete review when the fic is totally completed, but for now you'll have to live with this one-chapter-quickie-Lucia-needs-sleep kind of review =P. Update soon!!

-Lucia



Author's Response: *Giggles* Methinks I agree... I'm so glad you like this story! I like getting reviews for older chapters...

Reviewer: mahogany_wand
Date: 05/27/08 15:18
Chapter: Chapter 11: In Which Ivy Gets Quite The Workout

First: great chapter. Next: WEIRD DREAM. And finally, was Tyrone a good kisser?

Huggles from Muggles!

Author's Response: Thanks! I seem to remember that Tyrone was an extremely good kisser, but he must have been rather hampered by the fact that I'm really not a good kisser. As for Tyrone's kissing habits, well, you'll find out more about those in... well, the third Potter's Pentagon book and "Pride and Pre-juiced Plums." *Grin*

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 05/26/08 4:47
Chapter: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Spends Most of the Chapter Being Surprised

You have exactly 400 reviews, Schmergo! And just because I haven't reviewed book two once, I'm going to ruin that nice round number. Even though all I have to say is...

EXCELLENT JOB, SCHMERGO!

I would mention all my favourite parts, but I'd just end up copying and pasting the whole chapter, so suffice to say you are amazing. I don't know how you manage to create such lovable and lively characters and come up with such good plots. But keep it up :)

~ Chels

Author's Response: Wow, awesome! It's cool to get so many reviews. And I'm really blushing after reading the compliments on the characters... and especially the plots (which I'm quite insecure about.)

Reviewer: Tim the Enchanter
Date: 05/25/08 21:35
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

Hurrah Schmergo! Four-hundredth review!

Well, as usual, this was an entertaining and interesting read. However, I hate to agree with you – I didn’t particularly like this chapter. Stylistically, your wit and absurdist humour were as strong as ever in this chapter, but I have to admit, I was… irked by the plot.

To be perfectly honest, I think the Five’s thwarting of Apple’s machinations was too “clean,” I’d say: the wizarding world was saved yet again and the nefarious Apple was arrested. I find it ludicrously unlikely that Haley could stop time within a certain area – even in the magical world, I doubt that this is even possible, or only possible for Albus Dumbledore types at the very least. Though I can live with the time-freeze anomaly, I just can’t get over how there wasn’t a single leak with not a single Muggle (with the exception of Giorgi) becoming “enlightened,” so to speak. Also, even though the Five and company destroyed the camera lenses, wouldn’t they still record audio? Also also, even though Apple’s speech was interrupted five minutes into it, those five minutes of speech would have been broadcast from the plethora of microphones on the podium by radio, and millions of Britons would have been profoundly confused.

I suppose that’s enough ranting on my part. Perhaps part of my annoyance is that the Greater Welsh Empire will never come to be, seeing that Apple was arrested (just out of curiosity, how would that be explained to the Muggles?). I was rather looking forward to seeing magical Britain exposed at last, but alas, no. Of course, I am in no position to complain about my desired ending, as it is your story and not mine, and if I want something like that to happen, I’ll just have to write it myself. Sigh… CYMRU AM BYTH!

On to something more cheerful… I am drawing my fifth picture for the Potter’s Pentagon art challenge at the moment, so expect it within a few days or so. Also, when do you stop receiving submissions (if at all)?

Tim the Enchanter

Author's Response: Tim, sir, it's okay to tell me how you really felt about the chapter... I think I really wanted to rush through the action because such things are obscenely difficult to write for me. I never liked it, and I didn't think it did a good job of suspending disbelief, but I'm slightly relieved that you still thought it was funny.

rnI do have one slight bit of defense, though-- I actually considered the camera-shattering thing when I was planning out my first draft. Basically, the idea was that they only shattered the camera so that it wouldn't capture people doing magic-- the kids doing magic to stop Apple, or Apple doing magic to show the Muggles. Even if it recorded his audio, it'd just make him sound crazy without visual proof of magic. 'Profoundly confused' is a good way to describe the public reaction, though.

rnI stop receiving submissions the day after Chapter One of "The Past" (the third Potter's Pentagon) is accepted, because the winners will be announced with Chapter Two.

Reviewer: Lovee_Potterrr
Date: 05/25/08 11:03
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

"I can shmell dem shlurpees burnin'!"
oh
my
lordyyy
i think J.K. Rowling should hand over the books to you. You can rewrite them all in your twisted, amazing, hilarious sense of humour. k? alright, i'll be looking forward to it. Thank you for giving my morning of cheez-its and toast (not together, just at the same time) extra zing.

Author's Response: Oh my gosh, thank you! This is one of the most delightfully, absurdly complimentary reviews I've ever gotten. And Cheez-its and toast somehow sounds amazingly good.

Reviewer: Helios Sol
Date: 05/24/08 12:35
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

-You didn't no about Vlad the Impaler? That surprises me. You strike me as knowing about obscure-to-the-average-American-historical-figures.
-"Stealing his thunder" is a phrase I haven't heard before. Is it your own?
-I suppose the "run" part was kind of unimportant. It seemed to me to be one of those "filler" moments, which is rare in your work.
-What's Telemency? Is it moving things mentally?
-After the "ribbon" scene, Jordan's personality stirkes me as saying it clamly, but also with a sort of hint of irritation at the plan being held up for something that at the time was minor. But, perhaps it will have deeper importance to the third book.
-I don't think that a time-freeze charm is right. It really isn't quite realistic (or as realistic as a magical world is)....A mass petrificus totalus would definitely be more likely/"realistic." I think, based on what JKR has said/said was acceptable in movies, iit would be petrificus totalus maxima However, I believe, based on my recent lessons in Latin, it would be maximus based on the need for an adjective to take the same case. Take latin if your English teachers haven't taught you much about how grammar works after nine years. Yes, I'm bitter.
-Incidentally, according to an online translator, marigan is latin for "husband," and samandar has no meaning, but my Latin to English dictionary lists neither. All of this leads me to the conclusion that this must be some other kind of reference you concieved. So, what is it?
-Jordan seems to have some Winston Churchill in him too. Great speechmaker/leader. Definitely Napoleonesque, I certainly agree there.
-Very long congratulatory scene. I think it could have been shortened, but I suppose it would take away from their characters. Come to think of it, the ribbon scene was clearly a character development scene. Never mind about that then.
-Did that thing with Bob come from your own experience? Was it made up? Was it something random you saw in the news?
-The ending was a little fast. Wish it could have been longer. On another note, is this the last chapter? Doesn't seem like it.
-Scratch that part about Bob. That is really disturbing.
8.75/10

Author's Response: Ooh, niiice review. I knew who Vlad the Impaler was and a bunch of other stuff about him (like that "Dracula" really means 'Son of the Dragon' and stuff like that), but I didn't know his name was Vladislav. Unless I USED to know that and forgot by the time I named Vladislav Poliakoff. I didn't invent the phrase 'stealing his thunder,' but yeah... as for the 'run' part, this whole chapter was kind of a mess...

rnI agree that the time freeze was not good, but I wrote this a long time ago (two years, to be exact), and I thought it'd be cooler to have Haley know a really advanced spell... ah, well. The name "Samandar Marigan" comes from a project I did in eighth grade. We had to invent our own ancient civilization, and I called the civilization Samandar Marigan because it was a mixture between the names of the other four girls in my group (Samantha, Amanda, Mariah, and Megan). When I was doing the project, I was also writing this story, so I stuck it in as the spell, intending to change it later, but I never did.

rnThis is definitely not the last chapter-- but it is the second-to-last. Thank you for your review!

Reviewer: SingingBird
Date: 05/23/08 20:20
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

Nice chapter! I really liked it. :)

Author's Response: Thanks! ^_^

Reviewer: Nevilles Girl
Date: 05/23/08 16:10
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

"Giorgi, with her long legs and soccer skills was the fastest, but even she was having trouble moving quickly."

There was a stunning lack of Britishisms in the preceeding sentence. :)

Don't worry if you don't like this part. It's the hardest part of the story: wrapping up the loose ends in a way that doesn;t seem like "wrap this up, and here let's fix this . . ." I think you took care of it nicely!

Smiles,
Luna

Author's Response: Thanks for pointing that out. I completely forgot my ill-assumed British patois when I was writing this bit. (And yes, I just paraphrased Lord Vetinari in that last sentence._

Reviewer: Purple_Hippopotamus
Date: 05/23/08 15:56
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

Yahooooo! It was validated. And I have to tell you that I love the name of this chapter. Although I love anything Emma/Tyrone related, so that might explain it. Hehe.

Poor Ivy. Carrying both Ted and Arden doesn't sound very fun. Ivy's such a nice little girl/fox.

I have decided that I like Vladislav. He is quite cool and says some weird but intelligent things. At least I think. I don't remember.

Jordan raised his eyebrows, no longer fake, orange, and fuzzy. “Run.”

^^ That made me laugh for some strange, unknown reason. But, its an extremely illogical and un-Jordy sounding plan that I laughed until I actually read what the actual plan was. Then I didn't laugh.

What's Telemency? I know that Jordan said it didn't exist but is it a real thing or did you just make it up?

Wow. Jordan is so weird. He falls on a pointy stick and gets all injured and stuff and all he says is "That hurt... a lot." I love Jordan, but he should realize that its okay to scream "ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! OWIE-KAPOWIE!!!!" once in a while instead of sounding all sophisticated and stuff. Jordan, Jordan, Jordan, when will you learn. Wow. I've officially gone out of my mind. I'm now talking to your characters who obviously can't hear me because they don't exist in real life. Or do they...

Marina cut her hair! Cool. I've always wanted to know what I look like with short-ish hair, but I don't want to cut it in case I hate it. I mean, my hair isn't exactly long but its not short. Whatever. That doesn't really matter at all.

Oh no! Arden lost her ribbon. Poor girl. She seemed so upset about it.

“We’re too late,” he muttered in a flat, emotionless tone as pigs flew overhead, courtesy of Apple. “There’s nothing we can do.”

^^Ohmigosh, I just realized that that's where the flying pigs from the chapter title came from. I didn't catch that on the first read. Oopsies.

I love Haley's spell. Everyone was so impressed and even Jordaaaay didn't know it. Hehe. That was quite cool. *high-fives you*

Awww, Jordan's trying to protect Giorgi. He so likes her. Even if he won't admit it. And I think that there is so much Jordan/Giorgi shipping because we all love Jordan and Jordan/Giorgi is so darn cute!

I loved Tyroonie's little speech to Emma about not giving up and how she realized that he had matured and how much she had hurt his feelings and then how she got his middle name wrong. I gigglesnorted. And then they race each other to go get Apple. It was cute. Emma has a crush on him. And he has a crush on her. *sigh* They're so perfect.

“I DID IT!” Emma yelled, and impulsively ran toward Tyrone and threw her arms tightly around him. “And it’s thanks to you for being so annoying and pushing me,” she whispered in his ear.

Tyrone stood there, looking rather stunned at the events that had just unfolded, then returned the favour by hugging her back. Marina and Giorgi giggled.

“Aww! How sweet! I could just vomit!” came a voice from behind them.


This has to be my favorite part! I love you for that! Well, in an e-friendly way. Emma/Tyrone is definately my OTP for this story. I just realized that, for some reason, I ship couple in this story more than any other story in the world. Even the actual HP series. I'm such a weirdo.

Yeah, Tyrone, sure you guys were rehersing for a play. That was quite funny and I'm sure that both of them were actually rather happy to be hugging one another. Hehe.

Dad is so cool, thought Jordan.

Yay Jordan! I never thought that he would think that, but he did. Congrats, man!

Whoa. I was really surprised by what Giorgi said. I didn't expect her to be making things up about her friends. She seems so likeable, I don't know why she wouldn't have friends at school. Maybe its the crazy hair. Possibly. Or people are just stupid.

You have lots of friends, you’re smart, you’re freakishly talented, you’re even kind of cute —don’t get any ideas here—and I’m just the weird new girl, and nobody wants to make friends with the weird new girl.

Don't get any ideas... *giggles* I'm a hopeless Jordan/Giorgi shipper. They're rather adorable. Hehe. And I'm very, very, VEEERRRYY glad that Giorgi didn't get her memory wiped. That would be bad.

The whole 7-11 ‘Yeehaw! I can shmell dem Shlurpees burnin’!’ story was quite interesting. And its even weirder that it actually happened. Hehe. Niiice.

Anyways, great job. I really did enjoy this chapter and can't wait for the next one!

Hugs,
Emma

P.S. I think that this is the longest review that I've ever written. ^_^

Author's Response: THIS IS VERY LOOONG! AND I LURVES IT! I'm kinda glad that you liked Vlad, because I have a bit of a soft spot for him, but he's such a minor, understated character. Now, Jordan's little "That hurt... a lot..." to me is kind of a whimper, like he's struggling to keep his voice steady and it's still shaking a little. I don't know if I did a very good job of conveying that, but yeah, he totally wouldn't just go, "Uh, yeppers, that hurt" and just go about his business like a man of steelor something.

rnOkay... I'm very impressed you noticed Telemency, because you're the first reviewer to do so. TELEMENCY WILL BE AN EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY BIG PLOT POINT IN THE NEXT BOOK, AND IT'S AN UTTER MYSTERY TO EVERYONE EXCEPT JORDAN. Yep.

rnThere were toooo many scenes in this chapter that I madly enjoyed writing. And I think my favourite is having the characters interact with each other, like the Emma 'n' Tyrone dynamic, or the Jordan 'n' Giorgi dynamic... I don't know.

rnThe reason why Giorgi doesn't have any real friends is that she moves all the time, and most of the real friendships are already formed. There are people who are nice-ish to her, but they don't really want to be buddies. Also, her clothes and her rather excitable mannerisms can tend to put people off. Give her a chance, though, I'm sure the school will warm up to her.

Reviewer: dobby knits
Date: 05/23/08 8:10
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

I love this story! Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you keep on thinkin' that my "work" is good!

Reviewer: justin ferguson
Date: 05/22/08 21:31
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

I don't understand why you didn't like this chapter. I loved it! I laughed out loud when I read the "I can schmell dem shlurpees burnin!" For a minute there I really thought they were gonna wipe Giorgi's memory. GO JORDAN!

Author's Response: Thanks so much, Justin! I didn't like the chapter because I felt like I kept interrupting the action for randomness/feelings/whatnot.

Reviewer: JustLikeHermione77
Date: 05/22/08 17:44
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

wow, i can't believe that 7-11 story is actually real! lol my friend and i are obsessed with slurpies! i wish that would happen at our local 7-11 lol. anyway.... yeah. good chapter! update soon! :-D

Author's Response: Thank you! But I'm actually glad that doesn't happen at my local 7-11, because it'd be utterly terrifying. It's funnier as hearsay than real life.

Reviewer: Ankh of the night
Date: 05/22/08 17:20
Chapter: Chapter 12: In Which Pigs Fly And Emma Hugs Tyrone

“I am trying to protect you,” spat Jordan, his eyes narrowing and his expression dark and angry. “Giorgi, you’re very brave, but there’s a line between bravery and stupidity. You can’t do magic, and—”

“Neither could good old Napoleon! I know I can’t do magic,” insisted Giorgi. “Duh. But Muggles are capable of more than just standing around being abused by evil wizards, you know. And it’s possible to actually get some stuff done without using magic. I don’t need your protection.” She made air quotes around the word ‘protection.’

Yup. It's official. Giorgi is awesome.

“Yeah,” Tyrone chipped in. “We’re, uh, rehearsing a play.”
ZOMG!!!! Monsters Inc?

One more thing:
Giorgi’s grin widened. “So do you,” she said. “Before I met you, the most interesting thing that ever happened to me was when I lived in New York, and there was this old weird guy named Bob who had about four teeth and worked at 7-11. And one day, he set the place on fire and ripped off his clothes and started dancing on the roof, giggling and screaming, ‘Yeehaw! I can shmell dem Shlurpees burnin’!’”
What the Niflheim? This is SO funny! My Godric
1000000000000000000000000000000000000.3/10

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked my quotes... And I'm glad that Giorgi and you share the same philosphy! And yes, Monsters, Inc. It's great that so many people got this reference. I've been wanting to use that slurpee story ever since I first heard it from my friend's mom in third grade, and now it's finally mine for the posting online!

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