Reviewer: castrolovee
Date: 06/03/12 18:51
Chapter: More Bad News

Loved this story! :)

Reviewer: dahboigh
Date: 05/31/08 15:15
Chapter: Bad News

this is a great chapter! i'm going to stop reading immediately and go see if you did books 1 and 2! ^_^

Thank you for making my first tentative venture into the AU category a pleasant one. :P

Author's Response: Yes, you will find books 1 and 2. Starting at book 3 would be really confusing! :) I hope you stick around and explore the AU category. We may be crazy at times, but I think we boast some of the cleverest and most under-rated fics on this site. I love reading AU almost as much as I love writing it!

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 05/27/08 15:25
Chapter: More Bad News

YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! I can't wait for GoF! I really like your spin on the fate twist, and this series is really good so far! I'm excited to see what you do with GoF.

Author's Response: Your excitement is most appreciated! The first chapter of GoF is in the queue now. Check out the fic summary when it's posted for a few hints of what's to come.

Reviewer: NorthernLights
Date: 05/25/08 11:30
Chapter: More Bad News

Oh, a marvelous ending! Very well written. I can't wait for the Goblet of Fire! It should be interesting.

Author's Response: Thank you very much! GoF is on it's way, although I really need to get on with writing it, as I'm only on chapter 5 at the moment (out of about 20, we're into the long books now). GoF starts slowly, and the first half-dozen chapters are really warm up more than anything, and putting the hints in place. I think the second half of the fic (from the Yule Ball on) could be the best stuff yet if I get it right. A lot happens...

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/24/08 5:35
Chapter: More Bad News

It has been a great series to read! Can't wait to get started on GOF.

I think I'm actually going to miss Sirius, too. :) It'll be nice to see the real Moody teach though. Thanks for a great series (well, really 3)!

Author's Response: See below.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/24/08 5:34
Chapter: Bad News

It has been a great series to read! Can't wait to get started on GOF.

I think I'm actually going to miss Sirius, too. :) It'll be nice to see the real Moody teach though. Thanks for a great series (well, really 3)!

Author's Response: I'm going to miss Sirius as well, although I do plan to have him make one or two appearances in GoF. My main worry is Lupin at the moment actually; I haven't yet found a place for him in GoF and I don't want him just hanging around for a whole year. I'll try and get him in somewhere.

Reviewer: Patrick Johnson
Date: 05/22/08 15:26
Chapter: The Time-Turner

Dear Author of this Story,
Hi! My name is Patrick Johnson. When I read this chapter, how come Harry, wasn't there? Did he just escape or something? Just wondering.
from,
Patrick Johnson

P.S. I can't wait to read the next chapter! When is the fourth book going to be posted?

Author's Response: Hi! Harry got hit by a spell from Pettigrew at the end of chapter 12, fell, and went missing, presumed injured. When Neville and Hermione Time-turned, they found out the reason Harry in fact went missing was that they themselves met up with him and together they helped free Lupin. I hope that makes sense, time travel is really confusing, I know! First chapter of GoF will go in the queue as soon as the last chapter of PoA is validated.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/21/08 14:03
Chapter: Bad News

Nice chapter! I really loved the action in this one- loved Sirius' conversation with Snapey and of course Remus scaling down the wall. :D

One more to go! I await it... rather unpatiently! Good job, again!

Author's Response: Ah, you can always have fun writing Sirius and Snape :) Remus scaling the wall was totally unplanned. I got as far as having Buckbeak at the window and Harry freeing Remus and then I realised I could hardly have a werewolf leap onto Buckbeak's back along with three kids without there being a serious problem! So I figured that werewolves are probably really agile so Remus could make it down from the first floor safely. Last chapter has gone in the queue; I'm currently writing chapter 4 of GoF, so we'll be able to move straight into that.

Reviewer: NorthernLights
Date: 05/20/08 16:56
Chapter: The Time-Turner

I really liked Ron's line at the end. It was definitely something he'd say. I also liked what you did with Harry. Good job!

Author's Response: I don't often come up with great Ron-like lines, but I liked that one and it seemed appropriate to end the chapter. I did wonder if I'd get away with the Harry double-bluff. The idea is really that Harry is Neville's idea of a hero at this point and he has to realise that he can be one too. I need a stronger Neville to cope with what GoF has to throw at him.

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 05/20/08 15:58
Chapter: The Time-Turner

niceeeeeeee...i LOVE neville's patronus! It's PERFECT I hope he does well!!!!!

Author's Response: The lion represents where Neville belongs to me (and Dumbledore, as he comments in the next chapter). This chapter marks an upturn for Neville, and a rise in confidence which he'll carry well into GoF.

Reviewer: NorthernLights
Date: 05/17/08 18:24
Chapter: The Dirty Rat

Excellent chapter! I liked the personality you gave Remus, it seemed very fitting for him to be calm instead of yelling like Sirius was in the books. I loved the bit at the end too! Great job!

Author's Response: Sirius does plenty of yelling for the both of them! Remus' calm in front of Peter is almost a bit chilling. I wanted to get a sense of what he'd been through, and yet he was still deep down the same Remus. I wanted to give Neville something to admire in him too.

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 05/15/08 15:20
Chapter: Bad News

Oooh! I'm very very excited! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks! Keep reading, two chapters to go in PoA, then on to GoF!

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/15/08 14:09
Chapter: The Dirty Rat

Nice chappie. For a moment I thought Wormy was actually going to get caught. :D

Liked the part with moony, the tame wolf. Looking forward to more soon(ish). :)

Author's Response: He's a tricky one, that Pettigrew. If there's one thing he's good at, it's running away :) Next chapter, the penultimate chapter, has gone in the queue. I should warn you all it's a LONG one (over 5700 words) as I didn't want to split it up. It works better all together, I think. It's simply titled "The Time-Turner".

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 05/14/08 21:22
Chapter: The Dirty Rat

omg sooooooooo good. I really like that you had lupin stay in control. It must be hard for you to let pettigrew get away; whenever I write fics, I always have trouble keeping myself from making everything wonderful and perfect (especially in the third book)!

Author's Response: I really wanted to illustrate some of the differences between Sirius and Remus in their reactions. Sirius rants (quite effectively), but it's Remus' cool, almost sinister focus that truly unnerves Peter and makes him confess. His "don't talk to me about pain" speech is one of my favourites. Peter has to escape, or GoF becomes much harder to write! Plus Peter owes Neville of course, and I have a different fate in mind for him.

Reviewer: NorthernLights
Date: 05/02/08 20:51
Chapter: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Wow, that was a goos story Sirius had. I felt bad for him, his whole life was ruined. And poor Remus, he's on the run. Peter better watch out, Sirius and Remus aren't going to be happy with him!

Author's Response: Yes, Sirius kind of inherited Remus' survivor's guilt from canon. I figured it was just like Sirius when he discovered the truth to do absolutely anything to set things right and the whole story is really down to his single-minded determination to achieve that. Sirius in particular has some choice words for Peter in the next chapter, though Remus also makes his point.

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 05/02/08 13:15
Chapter: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

I love the way you've done Remus and the way the whole Sirius-Remus thing has been going on this whole time. Brilliant.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response:

This chapter, more than any other so far, was planned from the start, before I wrote the first chapter of PS. All the details had to be worked out beforehand to make sure everything made sense. Sirius had to be helping Remus from the start because it gave him an ideal reason to be DADA teacher. From my view of Sirius, I don't think he would have gone near the job otherwise.

The next chapter, "The Dirty Rat", I think turned out best of all the chapters in this fic, and is probably the one I'm most pleased with. It'll be interesting to see what everyone makes of it. It's got some good Remus and Sirius lines in it and a bit of action.

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 05/01/08 20:38
Chapter: A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

YAAAAAAAY that's really good! Awesome way to make the story your own!

Author's Response: Thank you for the enthusiasm! Three chapters to go in PoA...

Reviewer: Kif
Date: 04/25/08 13:14
Chapter: Under the Willow

Arg, what a place to stop at. :D

Great chapter - I really love the "wolf" twist. :D I really want to read on now, but I guess I'll have to be patient. Good job!

Author's Response: Really it was the obvious place to put the chapter break, mainly for the cliffhanger, but it also kept the chapters roughly the same length. I considered putting it in after Ron disappeared, but I wanted to make sure the bit about Neville's thoughts comparing himself to Harry was in this chapter, so it didn't get in the way of the next one with all its plot revelations.rnrnOne thing, does anyone know why my last reply would come out weirdly like that? Putting in paragraph tags has never done that before.

Reviewer: MaiaMadness
Date: 04/22/08 17:30
Chapter: Under the Willow

Dun, dun, daaah!

Cliffhangers are evil. -.-

These were a very interesting couple of chapters. Before I go on to review the content, I thought I'd just mention that you're lacking a few prepositions here and there. "Myriad problems" comes to mind; that should be "myriad of problems", shouldn't it? And I spotted a few other missing "of"s along thw way.

We're getting to the big twist now, I see! Finally Neville stands face to face with Remus Lupin, his parents' supposed killer (in an indirect sense)! Whatever will happen next?

I suppose we have a good idea of the big picture, but I wonder at what twists and turns you'll bring us in terms of dialogue and variation from the original plot. Poor Remus... I always liked Remus much better than Serius. Remus is just far more my sort of character; sensitive, introvert and intellectual. He understands people, yet hides from them. I was surprised at his actions in DH.

I really enjoy the exchanges between Harry and Ron. Their relationship is very much the same as in the originals, but Harry's slight tint of arrogance and his more mischievous streak adds an interesting, new nuance to it. He is a lot more like Sirius, and a lot more like James, too, then he is in the books, which, all things considered, is not at all surprising.

And poor Neville! Will he ever get his Patronus right? In the books he gets it in fifth year, but perhaps there will come a twist that forces him to learn it ealier? Perhaps he'll be driven to it?

But, then again, maybe not. One thing I really like about this series is that you're not turning Neville into Harry. Harry is still more skilled than him, even without the things he "inherited" from Voldemort, and I really love seeing how Neville struggles with that. Or, I don't love seeing it, but you get what I mean. I just feel so incredibly sorry for Neville. In a way, he's just so pathetic. That sounds mean, but he is. I can't wait for him to start to grow into the wizard we all know he can be. Seeing the happier, more confident Neville, the one who doesn't give up and pulls through in the end, emerge from this sad little boy will be a fantastic journey.

Author's Response:

Great review! I have to say, I love cliffhangers...

rnrn

Actually 'myriad' can be used as an adjective as well as a noun and the construction 'myriad somethings' is fairly common usage (and is a phrase I quite like). I'll check to see if I have missed any 'of's elsewhere.

rnrn

I agree with your assessment of Remus and I definitely tried to bring that off, particularly in chapter 12. We'll wait and see if it worked. Mine is a slghtly darker, more haunted Remus though, as you might suspect after twelve years in Azkaban.

rnrn

The way I'd describe my Harry is a Harry liberated from Voldemort. He's free from the burden of being the Boy-Who-Lived and all the history that went with it and is happier and perhaps less mature for it. Plus as you rightly say the influence of Sirius is clear on him. But what I love about him is his fierce loyalty towards Ron. This is the second time (after the end of CoS) that I've had him lead a reckless charge to save Ron, and he's quite ferocious about it. It is indeed very James-like

rnrn

As for Neville, that's definitely how I want you to feel about him going into the climax of this story. The next three chapters do start him on that fantastic journey, although there will be a lot of deep darkness for him to go through yet (like most of OOTP).

rnrn

BTW, did anyone predict who the 'wolf' Neville had been seeing actually was? I perhaps cheated a little by calling chapter 2 'The Wolf at the Window', when it was no such thing, but I thought I could get away with it and it would make a neat twist.

Reviewer: MaiaMadness
Date: 04/22/08 16:42
Chapter: A Happy Memory

Just a quick note before I read on. The following sentence:

He spent most of his time in the common or at meals simply sitting and watching other people, wishing his life was as simple as theirs seemed to be.

Firstly, I assume that was supposed to be common room? Secondly, I think it reads a little awkward. He can't really be spending most of his time in the common room and at meals, which is what this sounds like, and the structure also feels a little off. How about:

He spent most of his time in the common, and at meals he simply sat and watched other people, wishing his life was as simple as theirs seemed to be.

Just a suggestion. :)

Right, I'll move on to the next chapter now!

Author's Response: Whoops, another missing word. My proof reading needs work. Yes, 'room' should be in there. As for the structure, I see what you mean. I think I was trying to get two ideas across, and they sort ran together in that sentence. First, that Neville wasn't doing anything with his time or going anywhere, and simply sitting around in the common room when not at meals (or at classes as I should have mentioned of course), and secondly what he was doing, namely watching other people. If I had to revise that sentence now, I'd probably say something like: "He spent most of his free time sitting alone in the common room, and when there or at meals he would silently watch other people, wishing his life was as simple as theirs seemed to be." I don't know if it's any better, but it would separate the two concepts a little more clearly.

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