This story was fascinating. Nott was never really the kind of Slytherin that Malfoy was, but being shut out of society at large for the sins of his father was just the sort of thing that awaited the Slytherin children, even the ones who had not followed the Dark Lord.
I found the choice of Cho Chang as Nott's saving grace to be both interesting and appropriate. I disliked Cho since Prisoner of Azkaban, when she proved to be a whiny, sore loser, but to show that she had given herself a second chance, and in turn offered the same opportunity to Nott, was genius.
Overall, the style of writing, the flow of the story, and the word choice itself was impeccable, IMO, and I can honestly say that I could definitely love this story.
Author's Response: Wow. I don't know what to say. I'm truly flattered by all of your comments; you've praised everything about this story that I was hoping -- and worried about -- achieving. Thank you so much!
Ooh, Anna, I kept hearing about this story, and I saw the awesome banner Hatusu made you, and I finally decided I'd try it out and I already like it a lot. This is my kind of story. Original, human, realistic and so far, very well-written.
I have one really minor crit.
Honestly, he had found the whole idea behind it rather stupid.
I think you should just change the 'rather stupid'. It's actually a very un-cliche demonstration of his apathetic view-point, but it's just that you used the exact same thing to describe his thoughts on Malfoy and his friends.
Aside from that, I found nothing at all that kept me from thinking this was awesome. I thought Nott still fit as a Slytherin, while being the reclusive, interesting person he seems to be. I liked the family history, how it all seemed believable. The dialogue between Theodore and Aberforth was my favorite though. I loved it. I've heard people have those sort of conversation, I've had those sort of conversations, it hits close to home and the feelings are all so true!
I'm off to read more, and I'm looking forward to it.
Author's Response: You keep hearing about this story? You mean, people actually talk about it, and recommend it? Wow. I don't know whether to be completely shocked or humiliated or flattered. I think I'll just be all three. ;)
Anyway, I'm glad that you're enjoying the fic so far, thanks so much for your sweet review. And thanks for pointing out that 'rather stupid' thing . . . if I ever get around to editing this fic, I'll be sure to change that. :)
I really enjoyed this. It was absolutely perfect; the writing was seamless. And you ended it perfectly, with the goats. I give it two thumbs up!
Author's Response: Seamless? My writing? Wow, thanks so much! And how else could a story such as this have ended, if not with goats? :D
I thought you did great with Cho's characterization. I mean, she acts like the same person, without being as annoying and whiney as she was in the books.
Author's Response: Oh, thanks! That comment truly means a lot -- I wanted Cho to have grown up, but not to have changed completely. :)
I like the person Cho has grown into in your story. This is very good and I stayed up later than i usually do to finish it. That is a good sign.
Wonderful story. Keep writing you are good at it.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I was apprehensive about bringing Cho into this story, but she demanded to have her part be known. :)
I really like this story. Good job so far.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you continue to enjoy the story . . . even though I can see from your next review that you did. :P
My favourite thing about reading is finding that I've learned something when I'm done. Your fic brought it to my attention that for others to give you a chance you first have to give yourself a chance and that you should afford others the same courtesy. I've really enjoyed going on this journey with Theo because it's not often we see post DH slytherins being integrated into society and if we do they're always recieve instant forgiveness and marry muggleborns. You've given a more realisitc portrayal of Theo having to earn his place in society. Oh, and the second best thing about reading is the humour, Aberforth is very funny in an abrupt sort of way and not a little like Albus, although i'm sure he'd hate to hear it.
Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much. All writers love hearing that their work has really given the readers something to think about, and that was definitely part of the goal behind writing this story (of course, the main reason was just to get it off my chest -- it's amazing how demanding these characters can sometimes get to be heard! :D).
OK. I can see why this won! Anna, you've done an amazing job. Very... depthful. Interesting, how you've taken two moderately minor characters and one very minor and created an amazingly intricate plotline for them.
Aberforth's perfectly in character; I love how you've made him IC but also woven some very Albus-like thoughts into his dialogue. He's really the main humour element in the story, which is nice because even the most profound stories do need something to make you smile.
I never really liked Cho either; I guess I'd always acknowledged that she had potential as a character, but I'd never been all that inspired to take advantage of it myself. So it's great to see what you've done with her; you've changed her character in a way that's very believable and well-justified, but kept it just enough the same for us to recognise who it is.
As for Theodore - since he is so minor, you could basically have gone wherever you want with him. Usually, that's where most people slip up, because they give these minor minor characters either vry exaggerated or hardly characterised personalities, but you haven't done either. You've stuck to the small amount of canon and expanded, of which I am terribly in awe.
I won't try and tackle the themes you've woven in here; his lack of making a decision, second chances, first chances, moving on with life, healing, etc etc, because I've already had a philosophical day and my head is about to explode. But I guarantee that I'll be pondering this story all weekend, and I thank you for that.
My one criticism - "ma'am" is very, very American. I really can't picture any British wizard saying it. Even madam would be better - but not ma'am.
That's all. :)
Thanks for a great read! Oh, and congratulations not only on winning, but also on being in he top ten most prolific authors! Wow!
Author's Response: Aww, Phia, you're so sweet. Thanks so much. I really enjoyed writing this story, and playing around with these smaller characters. All three are very different, and when I first had the idea for the story I wasn't sure if they were going to fit together. It seems as though I managed to at least partly pull it off, though. :PrnrnAnyway, I'm pleased you enjoyed this, and that I gave you something to think about, which is ultimately any starving writer's goal! And thank you for pointing out the Americanism. I had no idea "ma'am" wasn't British. I'll try to avoid that for future HP fan-fic.rnrn*huggles* Thank you again, hun!
I haven't the foggiest clue why you chose Aberforth, but I like the results. As a character, Iíve never been much interested by him, but youíve looked into very interesting aspects of his being, and Iím very piqued now. The dialogue and interactions between Aberforth and Theodore are dynamic and interesting. You mix background with dialogue and actions very well, and maintain a perfect pace.
I was hooked before getting halfway through this first chapter, Iíve got to say that. You seem to perfectly capture Theodoreís anchorless feeling of being between school (the past) and the future, with no family to direct him. Itís plausible, believable, and a great premise.
You manage to convey so much in this first chapter, Iím very impressed. Theodore and Aberforth seem like they will be a very dynamic duo; to very similar in their noncommittal. As for Theodore, I look forward to reading more about this un-ambitious Slytherin.
Author's Response: LOL. To be honest, I have no idea why I chose Aberforth either. He just begged me to tell this story, however odd it was, and, well, I can't ignore such desperate cries from any character. ;)
I'm so glad you enjoy the interactions between the odd twosome, and the characterizations. I do have to say that I'm very fond of this story, even if it is very different from what I usually write. Thank you so much for your nice review!
Ah, nice ending, Anna. When I started with this chapter, I was expecting something in addition to Theo's meeting with Rabastan. But then I read the ending, Cho and Ab, and I'm like, 'now its perfect.'
Okay, now an overall. I have said this before that we havent had much of Theo in canon, so it was very brave of you to get on with the character and weave something realistic and enjoyable out of it.
What I enjoyed the most: Aberforth Dumbledore. Wonderfully written. Sometimes I'm reading his dialogues and there's this very clear touch, a vague feeling of reading something that Albus would say. Brothers, right?
You got him perfectly. His dialogues, gestures, tones, obession (goats! I'm not laughing).
Enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the story.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks very much, Akay. I was a little uncertain how to tie everything up, but then I sort of decided to leave things fairly loose, but still show Theodore where he belongs. :)
I had so much fun with Aberforth. I've always found him amusing, with his goat obsession, but I'd never gotten around to writing him. Yes, he and Albus are definitely related, so I'm glad that came through. But he is also his own person, a little gruffer than his older brother, but still smart in his way.
Thank you again for your lovely reviews. :D
I especially enjoyed your story, especially the characterizations. I think you got Cho just right, someone who grew up a bit late because she had been stuck in "drama queen" mode too long as a teenager. Nott was good; the parallels between the DEs and the Nazis have been overdone, but you gave us an insight to those who sat on the sidelines and did nothing. Truly, that can be nearly as bad a crime, to have avoided caring about people and letting bad things happen. It requires such a lack of compassion...
So, thanks for a story that will, I hope, make people think about the opportunities they have each day to make a difference. Those who do step forward to help strangers, to lend a hand, to speak up for those who can't... they are angels.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. All of the characters in this story were new to me, I'd never written them before, but I had fun toying around with all of them, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading about them. And I hope the story makes people think too -- that is what any writer dreams of, creating something that will make a difference to even one individual. Anyway, thanks again for reviewing!
wow, Anna. you know what, its the name that does it. the first time i saw your story on the page i was like, Anna is good, but is theodore?
i should have known that if you were writing amybody it'd be good!
Cho was unexpected, but realistic. i particularly like the interaction with Ab and Theo.
i like his vulnerabilty towards firewhisky. that made the whole thing very believable.
P.S: Azkaban, han? hmmm...
Author's Response: Oh, wow, Akay. Thank you so much. I'm really glad you like this. I hadn't written any of these characters before, and I certainly never thought if I did they would be put in a story together, but sometimes you just have to follow your bunnies and see where they hop. ;D Thanks so much for the lovely review!
This is a fascinating story. It's a little darker than what I usually read *blushes*, but it's well worth it. I love the complexity, shaking my prejudices by showing a very different side of Slytherins than we usually see. Bravo!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it. The Slytherins can't be all "evil", eh? ;) Thanks for the review!
oooo wow thats kli! i loev this chapter.
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, and thanks for another review. :D
ooo this fan fic looks reli gd! how come you havent had any reviews for this chapter though? its strange!
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! :)
Theodore Nott has always been an interesting character for me, so thanks for writing about him. His connection with Aberforth Dumbledore is a cool twist, so that's nice, too.
Post again soon!
Author's Response: I've never thought much about Theodore before, to be honest, but the lovely prompt for the challenge really inspired me to write about him! Thank you for the review, and the third chapter should be up within a few days. :D
Very interesting tale, well written, well thought out, well presented. Surprised that you're not getting more reviews for this work.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! :) And, yes, I would love more reviews, even if they are not completely positive. /shameless beg for reviews. But thanks again for yours!