Reviews For Colours Of Life
Reviewer: SnowyHedwig112
Date: 06/14/08 20:09
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Awwwww....I want to see this continued!

I actually really like where this is going, and I'm very excited to see how this'll turn out!

Do update soon! And great job!

Author's Response: Thank you, SnowyHedwig! I guess it'll take me a while to update as I'm in college, but I'll definitely continue this fic. I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for your response =)

Reviewer: adirulz9
Date: 05/05/08 12:19
Chapter: Prologue

Hi Xombie,

If i was to reviw this in a word or two I would say 'Not Bad'.

If you are wondering why not "Good" or "Great" then it is good because I will be talking about that very thing now.

First thing - you experimented with parellel worlds type of writting so kudos to you for that. But it din't come out well (or so i think). You could have elobrated it a bit.

Secondly, there is no proper description of the enviorment and implentaion of proper tone for mood creation. ( or maybe I was unable to find any.)

Thirdly, the introduction of the two (main) characters was given in the end so I thinking that the reason for it was to keep their identities, and if you were trying to do the same then I must say that you were not able to do so very successfully (also because we knew as we read your summary :D )

I guess that would be enough points to get your brain working hard. Those were the area for improvements.

What I liked about this write-up is the use of repetition. It was just splendid, continue using it throughout the ficvel ( i mean fictionous novel ) that would make it a thing for the readers to enjoy everythime.

One more good thing is that you did not leave the chapter with a HUGE cliffhanger like many other ficvels.

I hope you take this critisim in the right manner and improve your writting skills. And as the plot you have can endup the way you want you can take that freedom of thinking in making chracterization for every character in the ficvels with a little twist.( I also hope you get what I mean :D)

-Adi

P.S : I rate this 6.5/10

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the critics, Adi! It is a really constructive review.. very helpful. But actually, the prologue was meant to be very vague. It was originally a drabble, and I wanted to keep it that way. Guess I was a bit partial :)

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 05/01/08 20:39
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Wow, all I can say is great action. The play of children trying to act as adults really bring out these characters...and you have done a GREAT job at beginning to develop these characters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Chris! I feel so nice when I read such reviews and sad that I haven't been able to update in a while. But I'll do it, I promise!

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 05/01/08 20:18
Chapter: Prologue

Interesting...starting the story with a mystery to keep the readers going. This is well written...and so like children to hear what their parents say, but be curious about where that is headed. :)

Reviewer: lady_k
Date: 04/14/08 0:55
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

That's a very nice start. Can't wait to read more.;)

Reviewer: BertieBotsBeans741
Date: 03/21/08 18:08
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Can I just say that so far, this fic is fabulous? You've managed to keep all of these characters, that we know next to nothing about, completely in character. First, I love the emphasis on their names. It reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. Really, what is in a name? I’m not sure if I’m just imagining that allusion but either way, it worked out cool. Their last names mean nothing until they are revealed and then there is an undeniable tension that forces them apart. It’s unavoidable.

Next, I love how they talk about the night. I find it just as beautiful. It might have been unintentional, but you really reached out to me, the reader, and I felt connected to them. The interaction between Scorpius (ach, I almost wrote Draco, bad habit) and Rose is very believable.

You’ve no idea how happy I am to have read this fic. Your style is very enticing and I find myself hanging on every word. Overall, this flowed extremely well and you did a wonderful job.

Brittany

Reviewer: PadfootnPeeves
Date: 02/14/08 19:38
Chapter: Prologue

Manu! *squish*

Cute prologue. It was nice and short, and I like how it switched from POV. Onto the second chappie, and a better review.
~Padfoot

Reviewer: dragonwings
Date: 02/11/08 2:31
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Aww, young love and angst!!! How cute! lol.

So, I warned you that I wasn't going to make any sense at all sooo.... ummm that was really good... I'm really really tired... I might come back tomorrow and review this properly... and yeah--good job!!!

Reviewer: Stubbornly_appeared
Date: 02/05/08 2:01
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

*tacklehug*


Manu! This is great!


I love the potrayal of a budding friendship/romance between two family enemies- very Romeo and Juliet like. It also reminds me of Severus and Lily, in a way (if they hadn't already known eachother). Severus and Lily had it all going for them, but James Potter 1 and company let a little doubt and discord creep in. Then, they were Sorted, and things just went wonky. With your Rose and Scorpius, I can picture a lot of half-apologies, furtive glances, and unsent notes in the future.


James is also a great character. Just like his namesake. I'll bet he might get an 'I'm sorry!' forced out of him, but will be very observant of interactions between Rose and Scorpius. I wonder how Albus will fit into the picture....


Overall, I liked the end confrontation a lot. The dialouge was superb and the emotions were realistic and intense.


:D Keep up the good work! I can't wait for more!


-Stubby

Reviewer: Ginny Weasley Potter
Date: 02/03/08 5:48
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Hey Manu,

Ss sorry! I actually reviewed the other day, but my computer chose to have a connectivity error right at that point of time. Grrrr...

Anyway, I like the progress in this chapter. You can see that Rose may have an every so slight crush on Scorpius- the way she's defending him and all. And James... how careless could that boy be! But then I expected Albus to have an eye on Rose at least, he's a lot like Harry- I don't think he would have minded it if Rose were friends with Scorpius at all.

It was really nice, Manu. I liked the chater! *hugs*

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 01/30/08 1:05
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

*cough* Actually, as soon as I clicked Submit for that last review, I spotted a little typo on the last line of the chapter:

And a weeping Rose was left to be comforted by her cousin, as the door click shut yet again.

It should be clicked shut, not click.

*hugs*
Chella

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 01/30/08 1:03
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Ooooh, teh dramaness!

I read this chappie as soon as it was posted, Manu, and finally I'm getting around to reviewing.

Well. You certainly jumped straight into the conflict, didn't you? What an emotion-filled chapter. It's calm at the beginning, there's some embarassment, then some anguish and anger. You packed a lot into this chapter. It leaves the reader speechless for a moment at the end while they take it all in!

Hmm, I have to agree with what some other reviewers have said, though, in that I don't think they really sound like eleven-year-olds. Rose's little speech was beautiful, but a bit too profound for someone so young. I'm betting, though, that the thing about always forgiving people if they apologise under the night sky will come back later, no?

James is certainly a typical Potter/Weasley male, isn't he? Good to see you picking up on that from the epilogue and bringing it into the story.

All your grammar and such seems to be correct, which earns you a box of cookies from me, being the nitpicking DD that I am! xD

And you get a milkshake as well, for the general greatness of this fic. Enjoy the cookies and milkshake while you work on more chappies, MEL!

*supersquishes*
Chella (who now has an LJ)

Reviewer: fg_weasley
Date: 01/27/08 17:01
Chapter: Prologue

awww. That was extremely cute, dear. I really like the way you've begun. Its a bit odd that they switch povs so quickly, but I still like it. I can't wait to read the next chapter, but that will have to wait until later because I don't have time now. :[ I'm excited to get to know Scorpius though, I have a feeling I'm really going to like him. :] Anyway, lovely job, dear, just wonderful. Keep up the good work, love!




~nikki :]

Reviewer: Pixichik118
Date: 01/27/08 8:33
Chapter: Prologue

Aw, I really like this. I enjoyed the way you switched POV's and it's an excellent way to start off your fic. Can't wait to read more.
I also thought it was really cute the way they both thought the same thing about the chocolate frog, and how they parallel each other at times.. I really liked it = )

-Alyssa

Reviewer: James Jameson
Date: 01/25/08 17:13
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

NO!!!! Scorpious NO!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: red haired mom
Date: 01/25/08 9:34
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

Well that was an emotionally charged chapter. Wow!
I have to tell you, I loved it. From first word to last, it was wonderful. You got the kids’ emotions perfectly in line with what I could see them expressing.
The laughter and sweetness of Rosie and Scorpius was so nice. It made me smile and laugh when she was trying to sit him up straight.
James was a little goofy, but, it worked. He was trying to avert the outburst of anger, and then to cheer her up. Excellent job on that characterization. I think it fits wonderfully into his age range and what we would expect from Harry’s son.
The argument he made will hopefully be explained to her soon. I don’t think she should be left in the dark on why she shouldn’t be friends with him.
Scorpius’ anger was a little over the top, but again, eleven year olds have extreme sweeps of emotion. I hope it gets patched up soon though. I really like the thought of them defying all rules and warnings, and becoming friends, or more.
You did a great job on this chapter, and I hope the next one is in the works, because it is a wonderful story. Keep up the excellent work.
*hugs * ~Wendy

Reviewer: pokethedevil
Date: 01/25/08 4:18
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

GAH! Second time I'm about to do this, so forgive me, manu, if I sound slightly grumpy...

I'm so happy for you! You're getting great eviews and your story is carrying on so smoothly.
I love Rose. She's so caring, loving, sensitive and a dear, like daddy's little girl!
I think the best part about this would be the James Rose relationship, and how've you've presented yourowninterpretation of it. I think it's simply lovely!
Scorpis is another great character here. You've shown two different angles of his personalityhere and both look convincng to me.

I can't wait for the next chappie! (though I have already read it!)

~Maria

Reviewer: 4v_19
Date: 01/25/08 0:56
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

heya! dearie...
ROSE N SCORPIUS>>>..WOW~~~!!!

What’s your name?’

‘Scorpius Malfoy. Yours?’

‘Rose Weasley. But most people call me Rosie.’

‘No wonder you’re so pink …. like a rose.’

The girl laughed along with the boy.

He’s not so bad after all. And Chocolate Frogs are delicious.

these lines create magic...they r so very sweet.. i jst luv these lines..
i know u r a superb writer...
Spill the treasure.......

*huggles*

Reviewer: 4v_19
Date: 01/25/08 0:53
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

heya! dearie...
ROSE N SCORPIUS>>>..WOW~~~!!!

What’s your name?’

‘Scorpius Malfoy. Yours?’

‘Rose Weasley. But most people call me Rosie.’

‘No wonder you’re so pink …. like a rose.’

The girl laughed along with the boy.

He’s not so bad after all. And Chocolate Frogs are delicious.

these lines create magic...they r so very sweet.. i jst luv these lines..
i know you are a superb writer...n d treasure has jst opened..

*huggles*

Reviewer: 4v_19
Date: 01/25/08 0:50
Chapter: Frozen Words And Broken Promises

lolzz....It’s upside-down.’

‘What?’

‘The book.’

Rose blushed a deeper hue, and checked her page.

‘No. It isn’t.’

It was Scorpius’ turn to colour.

‘Oh... um… I… um… sorry… um…forget it.’

man! u have a fab sense of humour and i can very well say that girl ....*u-know-why-look*
but u make me cry too...there is so much emotion in ur fics... i simply love them.
(Yor are a star manu with sooo many reviews~~~)

keep writing.

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