Reviews For Finding Lily
Reviewer: OtterMoone
Date: 07/29/10 8:18
Chapter: Chapter 15

Amazing story. Really amazing. I'm going to add it to my favorites. And good luck with your writing major! Which you probably have by now... forgot to check how long ago this story was published :)

Reviewer: OtterMoone
Date: 07/29/10 7:01
Chapter: Chapter 3

Hahaha, nice way to slip in Harry x) . Good so far.

Reviewer: U-No-Poo
Date: 06/06/10 6:39
Chapter: Chapter 15

Wow. I'm sad you're leaving Mugglenet Fanfiction, but I'm so impressed and happy with this story! It's wonderful! I think you've written this plot bunny a lot better than most.

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 06/06/10 4:16
Chapter: Chapter 15

Marvellous. Thanks for finishing teh story. I must say, I imagined her discussing it with Harry, and Harry filling in the details about Snape and understanding so much more. But hey, it's your story. Glad you decided to finish it.

Much success in your aspiring writing career, all the way through college and far beyond.

Reviewer: Doxy Eggs
Date: 06/05/10 16:02
Chapter: Chapter 15

congratulations on finishing the story and good luck at college! Judging by how much I've enjoyed reading this story, I absolutely love your writing style and I know you'll be successful :)

Reviewer: Nez
Date: 06/05/10 9:34
Chapter: Chapter 1

Aww, this was such a great read - I finished it in one go. I think you managed to stay true to the characters, and the situation Lily found herself in isn't so out there it couldn't have happened. Poor James, though! Great building of their relationship.

I'm sad the story is over. It would be wonderful to see if Callie develops a relationship with Harry and how he reacts to the diary.

All in all, great work! And good luck at college :)

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 01/31/10 4:38
Chapter: Chapter 1

It's been a while. Did you abandon this story? Please don't, it has great merit. You've gone so far, why not continue to delight us!

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 01/31/10 4:32
Chapter: Chapter 1

It's been a while. Did you abandon this story? Please don't, it has great merit. You've gone so far, why not continue to delight us!

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 11/05/09 9:09
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh no, did the pages on Lily's diary stick together, not allowing her daughter to read on? We want to know what happens next, please update soon!

Reviewer: hushpuppy22
Date: 08/30/09 16:24
Chapter: Chapter 8

Hi there,

Could you be so kind as to add a warning of Snape/Lily or infedelity? If I had known at the beginning of the story that your character had sex with Snape and was in a relationship with someone else at the time, I would not have started reading the story as I consider both actions to be highly OOC for Lily Evans given canon and what JK Rowling has said of the character. Good luck with your story.

Author's Response: There is no Snape/Lily warning, nor is there an infidelity warning. I didn't want to put it in the Snape/Lily category because Lily does not end up with Snape, and the majority of the story takes place in the present day, anyway. There is, however, an AU warning, which might have clued you in to some of the less canon-compliant aspects of the story. Have a nice day.

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 08/25/09 1:52
Chapter: Chapter 1

Author's Response: I've totally failed at updating this, I'm sorry. it's my goal to finish this by the end of the summer, along with persephone

Ah, yes, well, I looked up your Persephone. You seem to like difficult relationships, don't you? And Charles Rickerts definitely is somewhat related to Snape.

Anyway, the end of summer is coming near and we want your story (eh, stories).

Author's Response: I do like difficult relationships. Easy relationships are no fun to write about =P And I'm ALMOST done with the next chapter of this one! So don't worry, I should post it within the next few days! I still have college essays to write and about twelve pages worth of assignments to do for my AP classes this fall, so it's taking me a little longer than I anticipated haha thanks for reviewing!

Reviewer: Vampric Dragoness
Date: 07/01/09 22:40
Chapter: Chapter 13

Great story! please update soon so the story won't be left unfinished... :(

Author's Response: I've totally failed at updating this, I'm sorry. it's my goal to finish this by the end of the summer, along with persephone =]

Reviewer: potterchassid
Date: 02/04/09 3:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

Please, pleaseplease, update!

Author's Response: ahh, I'm sorry, I know I've been completely ignoring this story. I'll try to finish the next chapter as soon as possible

Reviewer: eva_writes
Date: 12/19/08 13:18
Chapter: Chapter 13

Wow. Just imagine. Reading that, seeing why your teenage mother didn't... pretty intense. I would be bawling.

Reviewer: phoenix_fille
Date: 12/15/08 18:59
Chapter: Chapter 13

Poor Lily, and kinda poor Harry. What a lovely suprise, your mother had a baby when she was in school, and you father isn't the baby's child. Does Lily tell James? (sorry, I'm rambling) Update soon!

Author's Response: haha thanks =]

Reviewer: inspirations
Date: 12/15/08 13:29
Chapter: Chapter 13

Nice, neat chapter - it was to the point.

The interactions between Harry and Callie were very realistic. They don’t really know each other that well, and now it’s a matter of they have to. I mean, sure, they could pretend they aren’t related, but they are the last links and only links (apart from the diary) that both have to Lily.

“I thought it might be him. Snape, I mean,” he said. His face was set, his eyebrows knitted together. He didn’t look exactly upset, though. He just looked as though he was thinking. As for what he was thinking, though, I had no idea. - I like this, as it shows Harry has obviously been thinking about it all, and he has drawn some possible conclusions. It’ll be interesting to see whether there are any developments on how Harry feels about this.

You’re keeping this in a reasonably real world by having Callie help Marlaina with the triplets and wishing she were somewhere else, but the part with the two of them in this chapter bothered me slightly. You have Marlaina considering more children, but I cannot see how this ties with your plot when she dismisses it so soon. When writing I understand you can ramble on and on but, even though I make this mistake myself sometimes, everything has to happen for a reason. And it’s a nice touch, I suppose, but there’s no logic for it to be there, it seems. If this links to something in a later chapter, please dismiss this nit-pick, but I felt I should say it.

At the same time, though, I wished that I didn’t have to reach the end so quickly. - I get this feeling so often! Like the transition from one book to another - it can be sad leaving characters behind. I think this is the same kind of thing happening to Callie. Or sometimes you want to finish it, but you don’t… the human mind works in weird, but wonderful, ways.

I tossed my cloak over a chair and picked up the diary from its resting place on my nightstand. - I like how quick this move is, particularly the worded ‘tossed’ - it’s a good indicator, I think. But I feel you could show Callie’s impatience much more, thus increasing the reader’s too. Just adding a simple line describing her eagerness. It would build well on the previous paragraph, too.

Sighing resignedly, I began to read the next entry, which was dated in March. - why ‘resignedly’? Even though she doesn’t want to finish it, she still wants to read it, right?

I know that Severus and I could never be together. It simply wouldn’t work. We’re too different. He’s in Slytherin, I’m in Gryffindor. He hates Muggles, I practically am a Muggle. He’s friends with budding Dark wizards, I’m friends with more upstanding people. - Love this! The contrasts she’s drawing are very effective, in my opinion.

The way that Lily is confused about her feelings towards Severus intrigues me. It’ll be interesting to see how all that ends. Is she in love with him as well as James?

Good work. x

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! The whole bit with Marlaina and Callie is really just to keep the whole thing grounded. It's not a major plot point, but Callie's interaction with Harry isn't the only event going on in either of their lives. It isn't necessarily leading anywhere, but it's just sort of adding a bit of normalcy to their conversation. And resignedly probably isn't the right word there, now I think about it. Thanks for pointing that out =] Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: phoenix_fille
Date: 11/23/08 13:37
Chapter: Chapter 12

Ouch, poor Harry. (I think this story pretends DH didn't happen, right?) Well, he did ask. Update soon, though I'll be sad when the sotry is all over.

Author's Response: No, actually, this is pretty much completely canon-compliant except for Lily and James dating in 6th year instead of 7th. I haven't finished the next chapter yet, but it should be up pretty soon. Thanks for reviewing! =]

Reviewer: Leah_Lovegood
Date: 11/23/08 12:03
Chapter: Chapter 12

HOLY CRAP WOW. That's all I can really say. I can't WAIT for Harry's reaction to that little tidbit. :D. This story is completely awesome.

Author's Response: haha, thanks so much =D

Reviewer: rayasunshine
Date: 11/23/08 5:40
Chapter: Chapter 12

Oh my gosh! She finally told him!
I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: SeverusSempra
Date: 11/23/08 2:18
Chapter: Chapter 12

Knowing what Callie may or may not know but what Harry certainly does from "The Prince's Tale," I guess I think he might be able to live with that more than most people would suspect. Nice pacing on the story, by the way -- you certainly pull the reader along. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much =]

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