I'm here to tell you that this is brilliant, whether you wanted harsh constructive criticism or not.
The style you chose is wonderfully intimate, the story refreshingly un-sappy. Gordic doesn’t fall in love with Gemma and they don't end up wealthy at Hogwarts with loads of little kids, and that is a HUGE relief. Because although this is a story that is a little bit about love, and, of course, a little bit about loss, I think it is also about independence and learning to live. And that is what makes it so good.
I also adored how you tied in the past to the present with the whole "Potter" idea. It was done very neatly.
Once again, great work! It was a pleasure to read.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review and your kind words! From personal experiance as well as watching others, I very much agree that life doesn't always work out in the way you planned. But I also believe there is a silver lining in every cloud if you only have enough courage to look for it. So I'm glad to know that others appreciate such portrayals of a less than perfect world. Thanks again!
This story is completely inspiring. It brings to life the color of loss in the eyes of a very real, very wonderful OC. It explores the wonders of finding hope and dreams again. It moved me almost to tears. It's written beautifully and kept me unwilling to turn away for one second. FANTASTICLY AMAZING. lol.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for all your kind words. I've had several of my close friends go through periods of depression, and watching them slowly come back out of it was one of the most beautiful experiances I have had. I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
Wow, this was beautiful. Right on the favourites. Really, really well done. It was funny, I was listening to Peter Gabriel, my favourite artist, and then I read this poem, but the funny thing was there's a song on the same album called "More Than This" (which, by the way, I sincerely recommend) which actually fits this poem pretty well. Hmm... Well, this was great. I was reading along and I stopped for a moment at the butterfly scene, and thought, "Hmmm... Potter?" :) At times I wondered if Gemma was going to be the Grey Lady (even though she is Ravenclaw's daughter), because of the repetition of "grey". But no, you kept to canon, which was nice, and this was a very well-written poem about a feeling we all can relate to.
Author's Response: I'm glad that you liked the piece! I haven't heard the song you are refering to, I will try to check it out sometime. It's not entirely cannon since Harry is not supposed to be a descendent of Godric, but I figure that if the Potters come from an illigitimate line it might not be in the books and could squeak through anyway. Thanks again for the kind words and the review!
That was very evocative and extremely well-written. Your command of language is admirable--I usually don't have a clear picture in my mind as I read, but your descriptions and adjectives allowed me to "see" the story being played out in my head. Lovely, too, was your light touch with the free verse medium--often poems written in the style can seem clunky or awkward, but yours was seldom or never so. And also, who could not like this story? It's such a beautiful idea. My nit-pick is that Godric, as head of Gryffindor, seems like he would have been more loyal to Gemma, more brave about his relationship with her, but I'm sure that you could argue that he was being loyal to Helga, his *true* love, his first love. I normally dislike poetry fics because they can easily become trite or overwrought, but yours was delicately executed and near-perfect. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your compliments. I don't mean for Godric to be unloyal to Gemma. He would have stuck with her (and languished a little bit over Helga privately), but he never would have left her. She actually left him. She knew that he was in love with Helga, and she did not want to keep him with her at the sake of his happiness. So she left. Only Salazar knew she was going. I'd even imagine Godric tried to search for her for a couple of days before Salazar took him home. So I hope that makes a bit more sense- maybe I should have explained it better. Thanks again for all the kind words!
WOW!!! You are so AMAZING!!!! I love this, it's so beautiful!
Author's Response: Thank you very much. This poem took me about three agonizing months to write, but looking back I believe it was well worth the effort!