Im too tired to do a good review, so I thought that the first 3 quarters was really funny, but I feel as if the end could have been expanded. You have a great sense of humour though :)
Author's Response: Why thank you, my Mapffy-Poo! And it was a bit rushed, I'm sure. I'd been writing for a dead line, so I wasn't able to take as much time as I would have otherwise (though without the deadline, it probably wouldn't have been finished, so take that as you will. :P) *squiggles* ~Selina
Hahaha I love it!! Only complaint is that it's too short!! Hahaha my nickname's Zucchini, also the Potions Master so I was cracking up reading this XD
It’s interesting you take this angle that this woman would be the first Muggle to teach this course; in the back of my mind, I can’t help thinking this would be quite obvious, but perhaps I am wrong; we have no evidence, for instance, that Charity Burbage was not herself a Muggle. It seems reasonable, you know, to get the full effect and reach an understanding with the students, all Muggle Studies teachers should reach that qualification and have such a perspective. How else would that actually learn this lifestyle from a perspective of someone who had lived among the wizards and gotten the full experience? That’s just something you should think about.
You mention that you don’t think you are humorous. Well, from what I’ve learned in writing classes, it is a skill that should never be forced because readers will see you try too hard to make a connection; taking small jabs are all right, and you’ve done that with the crack at ‘Wisebuttocks’. You have a few errors and odd word choice here and there, but you can clean that up later, if you wish along the way. Perhaps you ought to read the piece aloud and hear whatever you’ve written. We all make mistakes. The clean up process doesn’t have to end with a submission.
“Non-Magical Studies’ is too long? Like Defense Againist the Dark Arts? It’s a few extra syllables. All right. Take this sentence:
I remember Megan. Acted normal in class, and insane everywhere else.
You might be striking at a voice for a character, and that’s a good think to practice as a writer, but I must admit this is a little odd. Not only to do have a comma splice, but this really doesn’t come off as natural dialogue to my ear. It may just be me, so you might want to ignore this, but this doesn’t come off to me as sounding like Neville. The period here breaks the sentence … the comma isn’t needed as that’s a fragment, dear. As I say, I understand you are trying to make a character heard, but it’s just not carrying over that way. Especially since this comes from a Professor, even if you are discussing matters among colleagues, t sounds a little off. You might want to consider that.
The number ‘fifteen’ should be spelled out. You’ve created a characterization with this woman; she really does not sound as though she’s pleased with the post, is she? I really feel as though you should have set the scene for the class session, seeing as this was the pivotal point of the story. It seems a little rushed, honestly, and you might want to delve into this a bit more because there is not much else than a surface reaction from the Professor; the last line is impressive. You really have something here. You might just want to clean this up and add a bit more.
I hope this helps. The story’s an interesting spin.
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice from "Steve Randall"
[not my real name]
Author's Response: Thaaaaaaaanks from "Secret Agent Johanna Barker" [sadly not my real name -- wouldn't that be epic?]
I liked this story--it was hilarious. Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out who 'Widebuttocks' was until he introduced himself because I kept reading 'Chastity' as 'Charity' because the Muggle Studies teacher before DH was Charity Burbage, and therefore thought it was earlier than it was. >.> Anyway, great story, love all the mistakes she makes and that line about the 15 year olds being able to hex her three-fourths of the way to Uranus was gold. My only problem was that Neville was a little meaner than I expected him to be...
Author's Response: Hello there, Minna. :) Oh, Merlin curse it, I hadn't noticed the similarities in the name (I believe that when writing, I had forgotten about Charity Burbage, and was under the impression that the reason why it sounded similar was because Charity is my cousin's name), or else I might have named my character differently. I'm glad you liked/enjoyed my story/jokes, and I see what you mean about Neville. He's just a little too condescending, from how I see it now. Looking back, I see that I could have characterized him a bit better. Sorry about that bit there.
Well, people from the "snake" house can be a bit "unruly". lol
Author's Response: A bit? Nah. They only jinx defenseless Muggles, and then attack them with the Muggle's own items. They aren't REALLY unruly. XD
They should allow a Muggle into Hogwarts! Its completely ... wrong! But the fic needs something else to me. I'm not sure what though.
Author's Response: Well, yeah. . . . But from what the Headmaster did on the night of the Welcoming Feast, you can tell his marbles might not be all there, so he might do some, er, rather stupid stuff. If you figure out what's missing, let me know, please. I want to be able to improve this story, if I can.
cool story, just wondering, who's the headmaster now?
Author's Response: Er. . . . . I have no idea. I'll venture a guess and say he hasn't much common sense, though.
Doesn't that spell only last for a short period of time, so she would be revived before the end of class?
Other than that, LOVED IT. Who knew third years could be so immature...
Author's Response: I'll venture a guess and say that either they continued to recast the spell whenever it wore off, or it was a different spell. You can pick which. I did! And so can fourth years, and fifth years, and sixth years. . . .
What a brilliant idea... and what a Great story!
I was a bit slow getting the "Widebuttocks" thing, typical me!
Ha ha... Fagman... *snigger*
Author's Response: Hey, at least you caught it. My sister didn't get it until I told her. *sniggers too*
Hilarious. I especially laughed at 'Zuchinni'.
Author's Response: See below, and fangs! I mean, thanks!
Hillarious! I love the Zucchini part especially! *favourites*
Author's Response: Yeah, Zucchini is pretty awesome. Not my favorite food though. I prefer kumquats. Thanks for the review and a favourite!
Don't worry Timmy, I will fill you up with little friends...
I would HATE it to be Prof. Fagman! I would hate to have that last name! Really good fic, and the mixed up names were hilaious!
Author's Response: Timmy: *squees* Yeah, she must have been pretty insane, to take the job. I figure it's a bit like how Petunia felt when Lily got to go to Hogwarts, except Chastity chose to be part of the Wizarding world. And thanks!
Author's Response: I personally prefer either the evil cackle, or the classic "MWAHAHAHAAA!", but laughs are always appriciated.
hi timmy !!!! i have a friend like you his name is kevin!!!! i liked the story
Author's Response: Timmy has lots of friends - except they don't get to visit very often, I'm afraid. I'm glad you liked my story.
that was an abrupt ending. i was expecting more. very funny though.
Author's Response: There may or may not be more - it depends on if I can find time to write it. Thanks!
You did an awesome job, Selina! *wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
All the plays on names seriously cracked me up, but the part of your story that had me howling with laughter was this part here:
'It was time for my first class. A bunch of 15-year-old wizards from the snake House (whatever it was called), who knew they could hex my ass out of the room and three-fourths of the way to Uranus. Oh, God.'
Brilliant! And then having Chastity only last one period before turning in her resignation was a scream!
The pace, setting, action - everything was great, and your humor really shone through. It was all excellent.
Loved it, loved it, loved it!
Author's Response: Oh, wow! *huggles Prof Andi* And that's my favorite part, as well! *is happy inside* I'm glad this worked, as a fic.
What a wonderful last name she has. And if that wasn't intended to be funny...*hangs head in shame*
I found this to be an entertaining piece. I think you could have expanded, but it works just fine the way it is.
My favorite name was Zucchini, haha. Is the new Headmaster anyone we know? He let that slip a little too easily. XD
Author's Response: Yeah, her last name's supposed to be funny. No need to hang your head. The headmaster could be someone we know, but I dunno who it is. :) I'll let you know if I find out. ~Selina
Author's Response: I'm glad you thought so!
I loved the way you mixed up all of their names! Longbottom to Widebuttocks, Zabini to Zucchini... hilarious! I loved this story. I've never thought that perhaps a Muggle would be offered a job at Hogwarts, but it is a plausible idea, that is, if the Headmaster hadn't revealed the fact that the teacher is a Muggle. (facepalm) That was a highly stupid thing to do if he'd wanted peace in his school. I felt so sorry for her when she was being tortured by the students! It was so mean. But at least she hadn't wanted to work at Hogwarts for ever or something. Anyway, there's a typo in the list of what to do-- your number 3 was typed as a #. Your fanfic works in the humor category- and not because your characters are OOC!
Author's Response: God, I was hoping my characters were somewhat IC! I'm so glad you loved this. It's really good to hear that from so many people. I fixed up that typo, and I'm glad the idea seemed possible. And can you imagine a class of students coming up at you? I can. I based that off a fear I had one day when I was asked by my orchestra teacher to fill in for her with younger students. . . . But that tale's for another time. And I'm glad the names thing was funny - I was afraid it would come off flat. Thanks!