Oh my gosh...I cried so hard when I read this! I mean, I knew that they wouldn't have a happy ending, but...oh, Lydia.... This was so beautiful and heartbreaking... *sniffles* I feel so sorry for Lydia and Tom! And Hestia...Hestia Jones is Lydia's daughter? :o Now whenever she is mentioned, I have something to remember this story with. Oh my gosh, I love this pairing so much....
Author's Response: Thank you! (But I'm sorry it made you cry.) And yes, I wrote Hestia as being Lydia's daughter. I thought having her parents being attacked and killed while she was at Hogwarts would have motivated her to join the Order of the Phoenix. In hindsight, I think maybe she was supposed to be younger in the books, but there was such a vague description of her that I somehow pictured her being Molly Weasley's age.
Thank you for reviewing,
Hmm... I decided to read this after reading Much More Than a Game, and I have to say that I love this short version, but I'm also glad that you decided to extend it. This chapter seemed to end so abruptly!
I love your work, and I hope to read more. I can't believe the number of stories you've written! I hope to be able to enjoy them all, and perhaps continue to be inspired by your beautiful and elegant writing style. :)
Author's Response: I'm gald you enjoyed it! There was so much that I wanted to add to this at the time but as it was for a one-shot challenge, everything had to fit into one chapter. Plus, there were a lot of side plots that got woven in over the years that separate the two stories. *cough* werewolves *cough* So... I guess you've probably noticed that Hadrian Jones will be appearing in upcoming chapters of Much More Than A Game... ;)
Thank you for your thoughtful review,
Found this by accident & so happy I did. It is amazing & so in character of the Tom Riddle in the books.Interesting insight on Snape's mother, too.
Author's Response: Yay for happy accidents and thank you for your review! Incidentally, I'm currently working on an expanded version of this story (Much More Than A Game), which is more of a romance. :)
Wow. Just... wow.
This was the most AMAZING fic I've ever read. Best OC I've seen, and the best writing. Everything is absolutely flawless. I'm just speechless.
I also loved your "A Fresh Start" fic, it was one of my favourites, too. Excellent work on this one as well, and I'd love to see more of you!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed them! And there will be more: More Than a Game is being expanded into a separate, more romance-based fic called Much More Than A Game. :)
This may possibly be the best story in the HP fandom. And Lydia Prince may possibly be the best female OC I've come across. She is perfect in that she is imperfect. And Tom's character is very very believably done.
Tom here feels that what he is doing is best and that has given him more depth than any story about his madness. Not to mention that he is so so so human!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! :)
Wow. Good story! Very sad. I liked how you used Snape's aunt and mom. Very believable as well :) . Voldy DID love, but he just couldn't change for the better when he had the chance (well, as better as he could become after killing his own father and grandparents..), and so he missed out on his one chance at love. I also thought it was so sweet when he said "Lydia, I wouldn't harm you..." I guess even Voldemort had one exception! Very well done.
For me I think that maybe you should have made that last line more....dramatic. But that was an incredible story.
This is beyond excellent. I'd give a better review but I'm about speechless. Just amazing.
This is an amazing fic. I never thought i could read a fic about Voldemort falling in love and nearly cry at the end. Well, I did. This explains so much about why tom hates love so much.
That was cruel... you actually had me pitying Voldemort!!! Can you believe it? Pitying Voldemort??
Your writing manage miracles, I guess!!! Congrats!!
That is powerful.
Lydia Prince is such a wonderful character. She seemed very real and very witty. She sure is a Ravenclaw.
There were some parts of your story that were confusing because they would introduce different elements without any explanation. For example, the narration says Rosier was not good at chess and it is never mentioned that Rosier has anything to do with chess. Then later it is revealed that her and Tom have been playing. That only happened once or twice. It's not too bad, but whenever I'm confused about something I always waste time going back to check it when the next line explains it.
At first I thought it looked like it could be a laborious read, judging only by the length. I'm a slow reader and long one-shots can be rather daunting. Any way, all your words were used so wonderfully that when I was reading it, it didn't seem as long as I thought it would. The style was practically flawless. The characterization was incredible. It was over-all one of the most enjoyable one-shots I've ever read, and it is going in my favourites.
Great job. I never thought i could feel sorry for Voldemort but this definitely put him in a whole new light. And it was also believable. Maybe not Voldemort exactly but i could see a cunning person getting caught in love like that. Keep writing wonderful stories. (Stories on Severus are also a speacial interest of mine so i would deeply appreiciate if you wrote another of those. When darkness meets light is one of my all time favorite fics.)
Finally! For years (literally), I've had a plea in my profile for someone to point me to a Tom Riddle "romance" that keeps Tom in character. And here it is! I knew it must exist somewhere.
In addition to the characterization, which is wonderful, I loved the references to canon. You seem to have tried to keep Tom in character, and also to have stayed true to the timeline of events happening in Voldemort's early life.
I have only a few pieces of constructive criticism. The first is grammatical. In dialogue, commas go before and after people's names when they're being addressed. Examples: Tom, where are you going? Where are you going, Tom? It's a minor point, but one that can improve readability.
My only other complaint is that the story is too short. :-) I think the story could easily become novel-length, but your profile makes it look like you're already working on a couple of those, so I won't recommend that. However, if you ever do decide to take another look at this story, I would recommend slowing down the ending. The beginning has a lovely pace--Lydia and Tom slowly, but not too slowly, earn each other's respect. The ending, however, moves quite quickly. I think the death at the end would have an even greater emotional punch if it were drawn out, just a little. I found myself wondering what Lydia's life with her husband was like. Not to mention what the impact on their child (Snape's cousin!)would be. Maybe I am suggesting a novel-length story, after all? :-)
Thanks very much for a great story!
oh my god. amazing, so beautifully written. you stuck to the truth of tom's charachter and still wrote an excellent story.
wow... really impressive piece of writing. my honest congratulations. i never thought it would be possible for me to read a fanfic and finish off so deep in thought... actually thinking it complies perfectly with both the character and the general trama of the series.
This is probably one of the best fics I've ever read--by far the best one-shot. I absolutely love the ideas behind it and your writing is fabulous. Keep up the good work!
This was one of the most beautifully written fan fictions I have ever read. The imagery and dialogue were superb, but your characterization was absolutely phenomenal. Tom was in character and Lydia had such an original and interesting personality. This story was also very believable - it makes sense that Tom had felt and then had subsequently lost love. It is a better explanation for why he has such a personal vendetta against it. It also makes him a more interesting character, not as flat as he is in the books. I love how at the end you alternated between using both of his names - Tom and Lord Voldemort where it was appropriate. That was really effective. I want to offer my congratulations on winning the Color of Love Challenge. It certainly deserved it.
Excellent! You've convinced me that Tom did have a few normal thoughts in his head before he went down that dark road to full-fledged psychosis. I doubt anyone is evil when first born; I believe people become evil (wicked) step by step, until they no longer can have normal feelings for others. Great job of showing what that might be like!
That was so sweet! I love the idea that Tom Riddle wasn't always so unfeeling. You did a great job with this.
I don't normally review challenge submissions, but I must say this was very impressive! You've managed to keep Voldemort completely in character while having him fall in his version of love. That was no easy feat, I'm sure. Your OC, Lydia, is a nice foil for him as well. Nicely done!!