Great! Beautifully written, I love the metaphor about the phrase "I love you a lot" in the 8th paragraph. The humor at the end really pulls it together. James is a character that's easy to mis-portray but I think you captured him perfectly.
This is really nice :) You've got just the right amount of awkwardness in there without it being painful, and I like the way you've written James. :) Off I go to read the sequel...
omgg its so lovely im on tears
i loved this!!! such a good job!!!
Beautifully written and touching. The persona of James was illustrated magnificently and I really loved this. Excellent job. :)
I was blown away by James's letter. I am a die-hard Lily/Snape fan, but your fanfiction might have cracked that. My best friend is a J/L fan, and we tease each other all the time about it. This fanfiction has forced me to look at James in a way that I've never done so before. Perhaps he really did mature and was no longer the arrogant jerk that irritated Lily Evans half to death. I am throughly impressed by your writing. Thank you so much for posting it up as a blessing to others.
"This is a different kind of love, Lily. It’s not love that screams at you, forces its voice into situations, or sings at breakfast. It’s just always there."
I think I'm in love with this story. Not 'a lot', not 'very much', just love. Thank you for writing this: complete love is so much more than 'a lot of love' or 'much love'. Please keep on writing, you have a gift!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much--I really appreciate your review! I'll definitely keep writing :)
Wow this is so beautiful.
I love this! I think you've captured James' feelings brilliantly. Can't wait to go and read One Way Street!
Simply wonderful, so emotion filled even if James sucks at emotions. On ward to the sequel!!
Romance fics aren't really my thing. I'm more of a humour kind of girl. But I was in a fluffy mood tonight and thought "Why not!" This was the first fic I read and absolutely loved it! It made me go awww and smile and feel great. So fabulous job and I'm off to read One-Way Street. :)
Awww... James was loving her more when he gave her the choice to love him back than he even could when he was constantly forcing himself onto her. Very beautiful fic. Good job.
great chapter, i love that they are friends first, very....real..oh and the "Harry" part was also great! good job!
why do you confuse so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: I don't really understand what you mean by that. Thanks for reviewing!
I like it. Cute, warm, and overly fluffy. I like it.
Author's Response: ooh...I hope not tooo fluffy. But I'm glad you liked it.
I just want you to know - that I am about to read One-Way street as soon as I finish this review. I loved this.
I thought the beginning of this letter was very James - and indeed males in general. What male is good at sorting through his feelings? I love how you referenced Remus (and not just because I'm a fangirl of him) but because I think many writers underestimate the effect he had on James. In some fanfics, authors seem to forget about Remus and Peter and focus solely on 'the golden two'. I love that you've mentioned Remus. That was a long paragraph just to explain that. :]
There are a couple of brit-picks that I have to do as a British citizen. Firstly, your sense of humor would be the British spelling of humour. And also, we'd never say drugstores here. We'd say pharmacies or chemists - although as you're talking about cards then it'd probably be a better bet to go with supermarkets in the card aisles, as pharmacies don't tend to have them.
The paragraph about love was great. James' characterisation of himself - calling himself arrogant seems slightly out of character but also not - not in this situation where he's spilling his heart out to Lily.
The paragraphs seem to get smaller as I read the story. I don't know if you've done it on purpose but it seems that he'd planned the first few paragraphs and after that he just wore his heart on his sleeve and it all came pouring out onto the page, whether it was meant too or not.
I like the inclusion and the emphasis on their relationship as purely friends, and how much it means to James. It, to me, reflects very much on relationships nowadays as well, which I like. It just reminds me that people aren't so different.
To improve? Maybe a little more introduction at the beginning of the story. Of James handing the letter to Lily and scuttling away, maybe Lily hiding the letter from her friends and waiting until she got home to open it. I don't know - I really am grasping at straws to find something for you to improve on because I really liked it.
I hope that behind the ramblings you manage to make sense of this. Because I really liked this - and I'm going to read one-way street and indeed, some more of your works I think :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your wonderful review! I can't tell you how much it means to me to read your constructive comments. So I'll go point-by-point: I also hate when people forget that there were four mauraders. I'm kind of sad Peter wasn't really in this fic, but he didn't really fit... Thanks for the insights into British spelling! I didn't know any of that. I see what you mean about James calling himself arrogant being slightly out of character. But I think he's really trying to distance himself from what he was like then, and this was his reminder to Lily that he knows he was a jerk then, and he's tried to change. The paragraphs get shorter because there's more realization in each one--at the beginning he's describing ideas, and at the end he's thinking of new ones. He's able to be more succinct as the story goes on because he's starting to figure out how he actually feels. Aw, what a nice way to describe it, that "people aren't so different". Yes, I really think their friendship grew during 6th year, and that's a huge part of Lily being able to see James change. I did consider having some set-up/aftermath to this, but I like that we as readers are reading the actual letter James gave to Lily. It's almost like it's a letter to us. I hope you like One-Way Street--it's a little different (b/c Lily writes it), but I like it. Again, thank you so much for your review!
aww! I loved it! so sweet!
I love it! It shows a whole new side to James... I can't wait to read your sequel!
Wow! That was amazing!!! Awesome. I always thought romance was difficult to write... You make it look easy enough.