Reviewer: moony 4eva
Date: 10/01/08 11:51
Chapter: Chapter 3: Cute Is What We Aim To Avoid

The ending was so cool, not becuase I like to see little Teddy-kins in pain or anything, er..., but it was like a whole new side of cheddarish, parmesan-y and mozzeralla-y Ted. It was like a Mister Mistoffelees without his magic!! I love Cats too. Haley's cat reminded me of the time I went to the show and in the finale when the Rum Tum Tugger bowed, all the girls in the audience, including me and my mom, stood up and screamed our hearts out!! :D :D :D

Author's Response: Thank you! Hey, if you want to see a non-cheesy Ted, wait 'till you get later in "The Past." The latter half of "The Past" shows a very different side of Ted's character.

Dude, I saw an amazing community theatre production of "Cats" last year, and the guy who played the Rum Tum Tugger was only seventeen years old (almost all of the cast was in their thirties or forties) and probably the best one there. He got a standing ovation, too!

Reviewer: Ankh of the night
Date: 09/27/08 19:44
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Schmergo-sama, I haven't been on since a time long past.

Haley’s banana song was one of those infernally catchy ones. The songs she likes tend to be. As I strolled through the gate of the stadium, I hummed it to myself, unconsciously walking in rhythm to it.
Blargh! This sort of thing happens to me all the time. Only it might be worse for me because the incredibly catchy songs are incredibly fast paced as well as in Japanese or Swedish So I get incredibly catchy high-pitched songs stuck in my head, and I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS!
*cough*
Sorry, that was uncalled for.
The bloke’s name is Mr. William Collins, but I’m going to affectionately call him ‘Bilbo,’ because I feel like it.
The best explanation of Mr. Collins I've heard yet.
Though perhaps ‘Gollum’ would better suit his personality.
Strike that last statement.

Author's Response: Mwahahaha! It's lovely to see you again, Ankh. And I have songs stuck in my head all the time with words I don't know. I recently downloaded two free singles from the concept album on the official website of the Broadway musical of "A Tale Of Two Cities." And I have NOT BEEN ABLE TO GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD SINCE. Glad you liked Mr. Collins! (P.S. Chapter Seven of "The Past" is totally up!)

Reviewer: Gin_Drinka
Date: 09/23/08 22:27
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

Okay, so I've never read any of your stuff before, but I've got to say, everyone's right about you being hilarious. This story is so funny, while still being in character and witty and it seems really, really well-planned. Even though we know the whole deal with P&P I can easily forget that ant take Emma's perspective and hate Tyrone... well, not entirely hate him, lol, he's too adorable. Lol, Darcy shouting in caps lock is one of my fav parts.

Okay, so I saw you said you were hoping to submit the next chapter in a review two below this one. So... I wll be annoying and say, Did you? Did you? Did you?

I really want to read more. You write addictingly good humor. Congrats, bravo! Now more!

... Please?

Author's Response: Oh, wow, this is a huge compliment. I always love getting new readers. And I'm definitely happy to hear that 'everyone' says I'm hilarious. SCORE! Okay, erm. I'm glad that you think Tyrone's adorable... he definitely gets MORE adorable in chapters to come.

Unfortunately, I didn't submit the next chapter before the queue closed (MEH!), but I'm almost done writing Chapter Nine right now, so updates should be nice and speedy once the queue reopens. I'm so glad you like this!

Reviewer: grammarpolice925
Date: 09/13/08 18:26
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

I love it! I'm a fan of yours and I can't wait for more Potter's Pentagon. The Pride & Prejudice summaries are HILARIOUS! I'm a huge Austen fan, but you definitely make it funnier. = D Keep it up!

Author's Response: Oh, WOW! Thank you! Updates should be coming very soon. I have to say, I am totally thrilled that you think I'm funnier than a famous satirist like Jane Austen. Thanks so much!

Reviewer: saveginny417
Date: 09/13/08 16:34
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

So. Last week I auditioned for Pride and Prejudice at school, and I was rereading this story as a learning tool. No, I’m not kidding. I’m too cheap to go buy the book and the Kiera Knightley version was kind of annoying me (mostly because I hadn‘t realized that she wasn‘t in the same version as Colin Firth, who I love so very very much), so I decided that Emma could be educational as well as hilarious. And in the process, I realized that I hadn’t yet reviewed this chapter. So. Yeah. Sorry about that. I’ll get on with it now, shall I?

The banana song. Oh my goodness. So random, and yet so amazing.

EWWW Patrick and Vaultz are not nice to Emma! I am mad now. Patrick, you tattling prat. Go… violently kill yourself. Yeah. My epithets are not too original today. I blame the stress of the election. And no, I am not old enough to vote. Anyway, moving on…

EMMA! Forget Auror-ing! (THAT IS SO A VERB!) you should be a… a… um… a dairy farmer! Yeah! That’s always looked like fun. Or, maybe, like, a retail therapist. Like “Yeah, you have a chronic disorder of this-and-such and porcupine jealousy. Get off my couch and buy yourself some nicer shoes.”

I think I made that up completely. Actually, I hope I made that up completely, because if something called “porcupine jealousy” actually exists, there is far more wrong with this world than I thought there was.

Starts with W and ends in Olfgang. That would be a good name for a rock band. LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT! FEATURING COLIN FIRTH AND ENDS IN OLFGANG! Squeee Colin Firth. Yes. So. Um. Where was I? Sorry. I get distracted easily. It’s worse when you give me sugar.

IS THAT AN EDWARD CULLEN REFERENCE? Mhm, I think it is. Whatever. He’s not as pretty as Colin Firth! I was on a bus on vacation and the driver’s name was “I.M.SWAN” and I was like, well, guess the whole thing with the Sparkly dude didn’t work out, ‘cos now Bella’s driving buses in a country where he will NEVER EVER GO because it’s 85 and sunny 90% of the year. Yeah. I made that up in my head too. But they did have the same initials. Bella and the bus driver, that is.

Holly and Jonathan. Are adorable. Can I keep them, please? No, actually, I want Jordan. Who still has only been mentioned in this story like twice. And that makes me sad.

WOAH still laughing about the Ishfiend. Even though I first read this about a month ago. Or whenever it got posted and I neglected to review.

TYRONEEE LIVES IN GODRIC’S HOLLOW? GASP! Didn’t see that coming. Ron must be excited about that. THE CHUDLEY CANNONS KID LIVES ACROSS THE STREET!?!?!?! *random fangirlish high pitched screaming*

Again, that was totally in my head. Clearly I haven’t eaten enough today.

Bilbo is the perfect nickname for Collins. I will never ever ever be able to think of him any other way again. Which is too bad, because I have a scene or two with him in the play (OH MY GOODNESS I think I forgot to mention I was cast as Lady Catherine. I’m excited about it, because one of my best friends is Elizabeth and I get to spend three or four pages yelling at her, hehehe) and his accent is already hysterically funny. Add Bilbo to that and… I probably will not be good at being Lady Catherine, because I’ll be laughing too hard. She doesn’t strike me as the kind of person that laughs. Like Vaultz. OMG, she’s the equivalent of Vaultz. Ahhhghrfrohossssgggg…

God, Tyrone, I MEAN DARCY, go back to your cave. EMMA’LL SHOW YOU!

Anyway. I enjoyed this thoroughly, especially now that I’ve read my script through and know what’s going on. I’ll try not to forget to review the next one, ok? Ok. Right. Stay lovely, Schmergo!

~*~ Juli ~*~

Author's Response: Oh, Juli! Your school's putting on P&P? It's a tremendously fun show to be in. I'm guessing this is Jon Jory's version of the show? Not only is that ridiculously close to the book (so you wouldn't even need to read the real book), I believe it's going to be performed professionally in... Louisville, I want to say? Anyway, later this fall.

Oh, just for future reference-- there's totally a website where you can read the entire book "Pride and Prejudice," with notes and stuff, for free. If you go to www dot pemberly dot com, then you should be able to find it. I consulted it many, many, many times in the writing of this story when I was too lazy to check one of my three copies of the book. Boy am I pathetic.

I LOVE that banana song. It's from Charlie the Unicorn! Dude, Emma would be the WORST therapist ever-- that would be hilariously amazing. I think she has 'porcupine jealousy,' by the way. Hahaha, your Colin Firth obsession is very, very rapidly reminding me of my own insane Michael Ball fixation. You should see my Michael Ball themed binders for school... I believe he would make a wonderful Mr. Bing-Bing.

THAT BUS DRIVER THING IS AMAAAAAAZING, YO. I don't know why I just said 'yo.' I think talking about this story makes me hyper. Yes, that was totally an Edward Cullen reference, but see, I don't like Twilight, and I'm a hundred percent positive that Emma wouldn't, either (but I'm sure Haley would!)

Yeah, Ron gets along much better with Tyrone now that he's on the Cannons. When he and Emma were dating, Ron was an awful lot more suspicious of him, poor boy!

Bilbo Collins in my play was played by the most charming, lovely young man who everyone was convinced was going to play Mr. Darcy. His name was Dan. But our theatre teacher cast a boy named Chris who had never, ever done a play before as Mr. Darcy, and there was much grumbling. Well. Chris was the PERFECT Mr. Darcy, the ultimate Mr. Darcy, the best Mr. Darcy I have ever seen in my entire life. But poor Dan was just too charming and lovely and the teacher had to keep telling him to be creepier. In all of the rehearsals, everyone despaired because Dan was way too charming and lovely. Then, all of a sudden, on opening night, Dan comes onstage, and I swear the guy was as creepy as you can imagine. Standing too close to people, spitting on the letters 'p' and 's' smelling people's hair, smiling creepily, sniffing all the time, talking in a weird, droning voice, doing this strange slunching walk. It was incredible. We were all terrified to be onstage with him, because he was NOT the charming, lovely Dan we all knew and loved!

ZOHMAGAWSH, YOU'RE LADY CATHERINE! You know, Neville's Girl also played Lady Catherine. I was Lydia Bennet. You hit the nail right on the head, though, about Vaultz-- he is very much the Lady Catherine character. I have an acting hint for you-- flare your nostrils a lot. Push down your mouth and keep it tight at the corners. It'll make you feel old and pompous.

I'm so glad you liked this! I'm planning on submitting my next chapter tomorrow.

Reviewer: beaternumber1
Date: 09/07/08 20:54
Chapter: Chapter 5: Abandoning Pregnant Wives-- A Fun Lupin Family Tradition

Okay i know his is really weird but i have a sudden urge to reread Pride and Predjudice... I think i must be insane after Emma's version. Really awesome story so far!

Author's Response: Oh, that's not weird. I love Pride and Prejudice. But I'd recommend one of the film adaptations, like the one with Keira Knightley (which is shorter) or the one with Colin Firth (which is more accurate).

Reviewer: Goodbye_Earl
Date: 09/03/08 10:07
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

I love this story so much! It makes me laugh a lot. I love Haley especially, I'd love to meet her. Thanks for such a great story!

Author's Response: Awww, thank you! I think Haley's a lot of fun. Honestly, she's a lot like me, sometimes, though I'm definitely not as girly as her (I'm an interesting mixture of Haley, Emma, Jordan, and Giorgi).

Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 09/01/08 12:15
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

Oh yeah and I also forgot to say: I LOATHE PATRICK SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!
I cannot stand guys like that! persistence annoys me!!!!!!

Author's Response: I aree wholeheartedly! Sadly, Patrick's based on a real person!

Reviewer: Fellorn
Date: 08/30/08 20:19
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

How could Emma say such horrible things about Michael Ball!?
The 'Gaston' song is awesome, and I love the P&P summaries.
Yay for Mr. Bilbo Collins.

Author's Response: Whoa, you know who Michael Ball is? I AM OBSESSED WITH HIM. 0_0 I have to say, though, most of what Emma said was, though brutal, rather true. Michael Ball is adorably cheesy and over-the-top. He can turn any song cheesy. Thank you so much!

Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 08/30/08 19:11
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

I am sorry to report that I haven't seen Les Miserables, but will never forget it thanks to you and Haley. I have finished the chapter by now and Tyrone is my favorite character of all time. Eva.
Javert is a very good actor to not break character when things go wrong during a performance. Its one of the first rules of theatre.(was this in real life or in your spoof? either way he is a great actor!)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love Tyrone VERY much... I guarantee you'll love him much more by the end of the story. The Javert thing ACTUALLY HAPPENED when I saw the show. In my spoof, Javert was very flamboyant and kept hitting on Valjean (the guy who pushed the dying girl onto the bed). This Javert was very manly. But the somersaulting looked so awkward! What was supposed to happen was, he was supposed to jump off of a bridge and die, and then smoke comes up. But the smoke didn't come up, so he just rolled offstage.

Reviewer: butterbeer_HaNgOvEr
Date: 08/30/08 16:56
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

i will continue reading the rest of the chapter when i print it out. so far so awesome! I love Thoroughly Modern Millie!
And we did something with Pride and Pejudice in English class and I had to stuff my fist into my mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. :D (thinking about Emma's summaries)

Author's Response: Mwahahahaha, thank you so much! I definitely take it as a compliment that you giggled thinking of something I made up. I wrote this spoof of Les Miserables (not the Harry Potter one on this site-- a different one), and in it, during Fantine's Death, Fantine refused to die and kept popping back up and Valjean kept shoving her back down onto the bed and singing stuff along the lines of "CAN YOU DIE YET?", so when we saw the musical today and Fantine actually kept sitting up and Valjean kept pushing her back down in the bed, we were CRACKING UP. And it was a very poignant scene, but it was just so funny! Also Javert somersaulted offstage after "Javert's Suicide" because of technical difficulties.

Reviewer: Fellorn
Date: 08/30/08 2:21
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

I really wish I had a cat named the Rum Tum Tugger. I think thats such a great name for a cat. Kudos for thinking that up :D.
I love Pride and Prejudice, Its one of my favourite books. Mmmm. Mr. Darcy *drools*

Author's Response: I wish I had a cat named the Rum Tum Tugger, too. I wish I had a cat, period. One day, my friend and I were at a restaurant, and somehow we were discussing what Terrence Mann (the actor who originally played the Rum Tum Tugger on Broadway, as well as Javert in Les Mis, Chauvelin in Scarlet Pimpernel, and the Beast in Beauty and the Beast, among many others) would name his cat. I said he'd name his cat 'The Rum Tum Tugger' and call it 'Me' for short. (My friend said he'd have two fluffy grey cats both named 'Sideburns' that he'd hold up next to his face to amuse his two small daughters... We're very odd.)

Mr. Darcy is lovely indeed... but you have to admit he is a smidge aloof at times. Which I believe translates into 'emo' from time to time, though he's got nothing on Mr. Rochester on that front!


Author's Response: I wish I had a cat named the Rum Tum Tugger, too. I wish I had a cat, period. One day, my friend and I were at a restaurant, and somehow we were discussing what Terrence Mann (the actor who originally played the Rum Tum Tugger on Broadway, as well as Javert in Les Mis, Chauvelin in Scarlet Pimpernel, and the Beast in Beauty and the Beast, among many others) would name his cat. I said he'd name his cat 'The Rum Tum Tugger' and call it 'Me' for short. (My friend said he'd have two fluffy grey cats both named 'Sideburns' that he'd hold up next to his face to amuse his two small daughters... We're very odd.)

Mr. Darcy is lovely indeed... but you have to admit he is a smidge aloof at times. Which I believe translates into 'emo' from time to time, though he's got nothing on Mr. Rochester on that front!

Reviewer: Fellorn
Date: 08/30/08 2:07
Chapter: Chapter 4: Werewolves And Wolfgangs Of London

Nice Les Mis reference. :D
I can't wait for the rest of Potter's Pentagon!

Author's Response: Why thank you! I absolutely love Les Mis.... I'm going to see it in about an hour!

Reviewer: aliauthor
Date: 08/23/08 21:42
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Wheee! I love TMM. Especially because of Sutton Foster. But I do not know the banana song. hmm

except for quidditch matches, haha- sounds like my head in there. nimbus of fury is pretty much the coolest thing ever. But poor Emma. She broke the stupidest rule and then Patrick is there to rub it in her face. ouch.

oooooh, the trip! HERE WE GO! I would actually like some of those action figures. is that weird?

haha, ghetto werewolf compound. I'm glad I saved this for when I got back from my college trip, since I got the notification email right before I left. I like to savor and review these things.

DUN DUN DUN! SCANDAL! haha I love Haley. The boy with the long hair and the fedora and the waistcoat and the skin-tight jeans with orange patches on the knees and the eye patch and the huge scar on half of his face who was eating the strawberry ice cream at Fortescue’s and then started choking and you saved his life, and then he asked me out and I said no? What a description! But I don't think I can be nice to Emma anymore because she insulted Michael Ball, who does in fact sound like God. And this kid who played Tevye in Fiddler, The Beast in BATB *twice*, and way too many other roles.

Zyzyx is the coolest last name ever. Is it real? PLEASE tell me it's real. And I'm going to name my firstborn child Harriet-Lily just for you, which rather screws up my plans to have my two firstborn daughters be named Elinor and Marianne, but whatever.

So does he like the color purple or "The Color Purple"? Sorry, stupid question. ish. Anyway, I'm glad hermione isn't my mom because she would disapprove of a lot of my friends *Blush*

well, come into the living room, then! Haha, she needs to get better at reverse psychology or something. Tyrooniekins has a little bit of a toad obsession, I see. THat's not weird at all. End sarcasm.

haha love the summary. My favorite line of Mistah Collins' has always been the "Almost from the moment I set foot in this house" thing. Mr. Emo Darcy. hehe

And I love the Gaston song. I may accidentally sing it instead of the real words, thank goodness I'm not in BATB with the Michael Ball impersonator anymore. But today, I watched Mulan and Little Mermaid with my friends and then endured a painful conversation in which I tried to argue that Harry Potter would do better in the box office than Twilight. All my friends and their MOM disagreed with me and started edward-schmoozing. I mentioned something about Jacob's awesomeness, as well as the overuse of words like 'quiver' and 'he rested his head in the hollow of my neck' and 'shiver' and they freaked. Ah, for the days when HP was the "cool book"

Author's Response: The Banana Song is NOT from Thoroughkly Modern Millie. ^_^ It's from the online video, "Charlie The Unicorn 2." I'm very sorry to hear that your head works in the same twisted way as mine! I would absolutely LOVE either of those action figures, so no, there's nothing wrong with that where I'm concerned.

Ew, a college trip? Poor thing! My parents still haven't forced me to go on one of those yet. I don't even want to think about life after high school yet (even though I am a junior.)

I love the fact that I am not the only person in the world who likes Michael Ball. But I desperately want to hear this kid now... especially since he was in two of my favourites roles. I may have to shoot him for getting to be in BATB twice-- I've been in 23 shows, but my wish all along was to be in BATB. I want to be LeFou. Or anyone, I'm not picky. I do a great Gaston impersonation. (Yes, I'm a girl...)

I think Zyzyx is a real name. It got 26,100 results on Google, at least. But I added in "Preston L. Zyzyx at the last minute-- it was originally 'Barack Obama,' but the mods didn't like that, so I made up a random name. 'Preston L. Zyzyx was the first thing that popped into my head.

Oh my gosh, it'd be so cool if you named your kid after Haley, but I have to say, not only do I really love the names Elinor and Marianne, but "Sense and Sensibility" is my FAVOURITE Jane Austen book. I wuvs it. Even though Marianne annoys me a little. I think Terrence just likes purple-- I don't think Emma would date any guy who likes musical theatre after enduring Haley for years!

Ahh, Tyrone doesn't have a toad obsession, he just cares a lot about his pets! And people that he likes! And stuff! Mr. Collins totally cracks me up-- and in both versions of the movie, too, even though they portray the guy totally differently.

I don't like Edward at all, but I also am not a big fan of Jacob. I definitely think he was the right one for Bella, and I think he's moderately sexy (NOT the actor who plays him-- that guy looks like a little boy. I mean the book character), but I still don't like Jacob all that much. He was too overdramatic. (I kind of liked the part of "Breaking Dawn" from his point of view, though. It seemed so much better-written than the rest of the book, though still not terrific.) I notice they keep using the words 'russet' and 'glower' and 'smirk' and 'glare' and 'scoff' and 'dazzling' and 'godlike' and they keep using the same descriptive words, like constantly saying Edward's eyes were 'liquid topaz' and Jacob's eyes were 'deep-set' and stuff like that.

Reviewer: weasleywannabe47
Date: 08/19/08 16:28
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

-"HE WAS SPARKLY!"-Ah,once again,I see myself in Haley....
I love Haley and Tyrone's songs!
This story will be my safe haven after one of the characters die,since they are all aive here!
Awesome-possum job!(Yes,I did steal that from Haley!)
(I am also going to leave a review for each chapter of this story,if that's not breaking the rules!)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I have a lot of fun with this story, and I'm so glad you like it. It's TOTALLY allowed to leave a review for every chapter, and I completely appreciate that-- the more reviews, the happier I am. Every time I get a new review, it's like mini Christmas.

Reviewer: KittyCatLover
Date: 08/18/08 20:29
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Hello!
Haha, sparkly. I guess I didn’t realize that was a reference, I don’t read Twilight. This is reminiscent of this time my family was playing Catch Phrase; this game where you have a little card with a word on it and you try and describe the word to your team, with out actually saying the word, the point of the game being that your team mates would guess the word using your description. Any way, we were playing the game and it was my cousin’s turn and he was only 9 at the time and wasn’t very good at the game and the first thing he used to describe the word was ‘What do you say before you do a cannonball?’ To which his brother, another one of my cousins (I have 9 on that side), answered by holding up one of his hands and saying ‘I have an important announcement to make!’ The word was actually ‘bonanza’ but we liked what my cousin said, so some times we’d tell the story, thinking it was very clever; until he told us about 3 months later that it was from a movie or something. So, I had been telling this story for about 3 months thinking my cousin was so clever, when really he was just quoting, so maybe this is just me role in life, to be ignorant, which actually doesn’t sound so bad.

Even being a some what up beat person I have to say some times Haley has toooo much energy. I am NOT a morning person, and definitely do not like being woken up by singing in the morning, even though I often do get woken up because of my sisters i-Pod/alarm clock thing. A close second for not wanting to be woken up by is some one yelling 'THAT'S RIGHT WOODCHUCK-CHUKERS! IT'S GROUND HOG DAY!' Of course, that happened too and it was wasn't much fun ether.
Any who, back to the story. "She looked at me like I was wearing a dead gorilla on my head."' Haha, I can just see that face. Ohhh, Collins, I mean, Patrick, is so badddddd. Though I can kind of see why he did it. THE RETURN OF FIDO!!!! Yippee! Even though I don’t really even like toads, I mean, frogs (I did that on purpose, I know it’s a toad, but I just finshed reading Eldest from the inheritance cycle, and one of the characters insist there are now toads, they’re all just frogs). Of course, very funny chapter title. Until the next chapter, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don't eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life!
~Anna

Author's Response: Thank you! I actually strongly dislike Twilight, but I love to make fun of it. ANd I love the game Catch Phrase! My family plays it all the time! Awww, I liked that anecdote. The best thing about having strange and silly things happen to you is, they work GREAT for using in stories later on. Pretty much everything in this story is inspired by my real life, believe it or not!

I am not a morning person either, but I share a room with my little sister, who is, in many ways, Haley, and in other ways is her polar opposite. My sister is very much a morning person and is very chirpy and LOUD in the morning. (However, she's also habitually left-brained, organized, disciplined, obsessed with cleaning and cooking, a straight-A student, and is never overdramatic, unlike Haley.)

I love frogs. I've had four pet frogs over the years, and I absolutely adore them. Hey, how did you know I like to eat roasted cabbage and earwax? (Hahaha, kidding )

Reviewer: House-Elves Anonymous
Date: 08/17/08 20:16
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

Its the magical Leoplurodon, Schmergo

Forgot to mention in the last review, Schmergo, that the Charlie the Unicorn reference was hilarious. I like the first one better (CANDY MOUNTAIN, CHARLIE!), but the second one is still great!

Swim away, Fuga Fish, Swim away,

-Josh-

Author's Response: Mwaahahaha, this is why I love getting reviews. I feel like my review page is one big happy family or something... Anyway! Yeah, I liked the first one better, too, but I liked the banana song from the second one better than the Candy Mountain Cave song in the first one. By the way, do you know what fugu fish actually are? They're, like, Japanese blowfish with an intensely, intensely, intensely poisonous liver and ovaries, so if you eat them, you die. People pay ridiculously vast sums of money to get them properly cooked and prepared so that they don't die from eating them. Yep.

Reviewer: crystalphoenix
Date: 08/16/08 23:13
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

lol, wow. is emma in for the surprise of her life. so, what, is wolfgang involved in that whole feral werewolves deal? is he one of the ferals? haha, i can't believe collins- oops, i mean patrick- ratted her out. the dirty mole! but vaultz has to eventually invite her back, right? i hope he does, otherwise her auror dreams are prtty much shot.

Author's Response: I will say absolutely nothing about Wolfgang except that he has pretty hair. *Zips lips* Hahaha, Patrick is absolutely horrible, but Vaultz will invite her back if he has proof that she's been staying away from Wolfgang for a long enough span of time. Oh, in case you're curious, Vaultz is the Lady Catherine de Bourgh character!

Reviewer: Heiress_of_Insanity_
Date: 08/16/08 18:42
Chapter: Chapter 6: He Followed Me Home, But I Don't Want To Keep Him

IIIIII-VYYYY, you look quite down
With your big sad eyes and your big fat frown.


Something tells me that Haley prowls youtube...maybe Jordie-poo gave her a computer for Christmas? *rolls eyes* Is Jordan actually in this story at all? It just feels...weird without him! XD

Ted’s brother?

Ted has a...brother? Is he as ridiculously, awkwardly cute as Ted? THIS IS A WONDERFUL PIECE OF NEWS!!! *ahem*

Aagh...must go eat dinner. But this was a wonderful chap - even though Ivy is getting kinda annoying =/ Update soon!~

H_o_I_

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I think Haley secretly WROTE that song and created Charlie the Unicorn. It sounds exactly like the sort of thing she'd do. Jordan shows up in about chapter ten or eleven. I miss him, too, but the thing is, it'd be impossible to include him much at all without giving a lot away.

You'll meet Ted's brother, Nathanael (Nat for short), in "The Past," but I'll tell you about him now anyway. He's four years older and a Metamorphmagus. He usually has short green hair and a green goatee, and he wears an earring. Nat is a bit of a goofball and has been known to disrupt class, but, like Ted, he's also very laid back and friendly. He's actually a lot smarter than Ted, a lot smarter than he looks or acts, and is a math genius. Nat works as a Muggle liaison person, and is undercover as a math teacher! He always picked on Ted a lot when he was growing up, because he was so much older and because Ted's so easy to pick on-- he doesn't fight back. Nat used to put Ted in the toilet and flush, and he blamed everything on Ted and one time gave him a really bad wedgie and hung him from a bed post for two hours. But he stopped making fun of Ted when Ted ended up being nine and a half inches taller than him!

Ted also has a sister named Christina who is two years older than Ted. She adores Ted and always treated him like a doll when he was little, because he was little and complying and she's a maternal type. Chris is a bit of a daydreamer who likes the extraordinary and the fantastical, and she thinks her life is boring because she's totally average looking, brown hair and brown eyes, and she has a Metamorphmagus brother and a werewolf brother, and the same goes for her parents. Chris does publicity for a minor Scottish Quidditch team that no one's ever heard of and married young to a rather Bohemian writer. Because he's so free-spirited (which is what she really wants to be, though she'd actually very practical and organized), she has to be the level-headed of the two. She really wants kids, but her husband, Phoebus,doesn't want any yet.

Reviewer: House-Elves Anonymous
Date: 08/16/08 18:09
Chapter: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee

Ish, Schmergo

“What about that vampire that tried to kill me in the alleyway last year?”

“HE WAS SPARKLY!”

Was his name also edward? This part, in my opinion, was amazing-ish. I almost killed myself on my spinny computer chair when I read this. I wonder if insurance covers laughter-caused injuries...

Oh, your theory about twilight was, is, and always will be the best-ish thing I have read about that book(s). I have read most of the series as well, and death would be an improvement over Edward for Bella...but at least he has Jacob!

I see you gave Tyrone a song. I guess the only word I could use to describe it is...ish. You had to have seen that coming.

Enjoying the fact that my mind is a dank, lonely cave of shadow and darkness,

-Josh-

P.S.... ISH!

Author's Response: Hey, Josh! Hahaha, are you going to start using the word 'ish' now? It might annoy people even more than Niflheim! So glad you liked the Twilight gags... I posted a horrific story on the website that's linked to my profile called "An Epilogue To Breaking Dawn" that my sister and I wrote. Basically, Jacob is married to a guy named John Willoughby from "Sense and Sensibility" (though Jacob thinks that Willoughby is a girl, despite the fact that they've been married for fourteen years) and Jacob is obsessed with eating babies and only pays for things with baby corpses. It is the most disgusting, terrible story ever, so naturally I'm planning on posting it in the Twilight section on fanfiction dot net in the next couple of days.

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