ACTUALLY, Eric IS a boy :P
he's just basically asleep when he gets to school...
Author's Response: Ah, that explains it. ^_^ (I was kidding around, don't you worry.) One time, my friend fell asleep in school and my teacher yelled a rude word for 'breasts' in his ear to wake him up. It worked.
I remember the word "hanky-panky" from "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" by Judy Blume. Its another one of my favourite words. You certainly have a knack for guessing them!
Author's Response: Hahaha, I only read one Judy Blume book and it scared the living daylights out of me. I was eight, It was called "Deenie," and I did NOT like the description of... private things. I got the word "hanky-panky" from an amazing book called "Blue Avenger" or "The Adventures of Blue Avenger" or something... and my mom also says it sometimes.
yay Haley... First Soprano's are one day going to rule the world with perky morning behaviour and incredibly high pitched notes that only dogs can hear! My friend Eric totally agrees that my perky-morning first soprano tactics are inhuman!
Exuberantly and conversely yours,
Author's Response: You certainly have the right first name for a first soprano! (Sorry, I love "Phantom of the Opera" a little too much.) Hey, how would your friend Eric know? That sounds like a BOY NAME! Do you sneak into his bedroom and watch him sleep? ^_^ (If so, er, whoops!)
u go, gal friend!!
Author's Response: Awww, thanks! (Unless you're speaking to Emma, in which case... don't mind me, I'm just the author!)
P.S. Firstly I'd just like to say I have nothing against French people and I never understood why they were nicknamed frogs in the first place. Remember the Frog Prince? Where a prince is enchanted into a frog until a beautiful princess kisses him? Well a lot of people i know say 'i hope he doesn't turn out to be the proverbial frog' meaning he isn't an enchanted prince but a frog after all. Sorry, I'm not too good at explaning and now i think on it, it's not really a proverb, but people are crazy, what can you do?
P.P.S. We live in England and I'm pretty sure my mum can't do an American accent, but perhaps it's my siblings and I who say disaster wrong because we say dis-ass-ter.
Author's Response: Hahahahahaaaa... now I understand what you meant by 'proverbial frog.' Boy, I certainly am dumb today. I was kidding about the 'proverbial French person' thing, but this makes much more sense. And see, if you said 'disarster' in an American accent, it would sound like, 'disarrrrrster,' like 'aharrr, me hearties,' so it sounds much more normal in an English accent! I hope you don't mind all the Americanisms in my stories--- I'm an American person, and it's really hard for me to try to adopt a different dialect when I'm writing dialogue, so my characters usually all end up talking like me.
Hmm, I'm not sure where to start of if I'll remember everything that went on because this was such a wonderfully chunky chapter. Right, I really liked the line - You know that little voice in the back of your head that makes rude comments that you don’t dare say out loud? I think that voice is me. - because it sums Emma up in a nut shell. And her comment about Patrick not knowing how to talk to human beings more specifically girls, which is the half of the species that mattered was very very funny. I thought the 'prunes', sorry, 'preduiced plums' were a brilliant idea, how do you come up with this stuff? Just like Emman I'm angry at Ted too, I know Remus wanted to run off and leave Tonks, but he was a much more angsty character and on the board of governors of Noble Gits United (not mine, from a fic called Great Expectations). Ted on the other hand has always been the eternal cockeyed optimist so what on earth is he playing at? He could've at least moved to another country, hidden his condition and taken his family with him. You'd also think Harry would have something to say on the matter, i mean Ivy is his daughter. Sorry, I'm just very angry at Ted. What about that party though? Antoly sounds fun, in very very small doses and that game was a potential disaster waiting to happen, brilliant, but a PDWH all the same. I knew as soon as the rules were announced that Tyrone and Emma would end up dancing together, it seemed on the cards, and now she's been snapish with Wolfgang, so will we have things to iron out in the next chapter? Quite probably. And again, excellent rewrite of P&P from Emma's point of view, Lets hope Anatoly doesn't get hold of her diary, or he'll be producing it with Haley in the lead role.
Author's Response: This chapter's so long I didn't even get to post the beautiful spoof of "Gaston" about Tyrone that I wrote for the author's note! I guess I'll have to post it next chapter. Actually, I thought of the "pre-juiced plums" after coming up with the title... but they're now a plot point, kind of a symbol of Tyrone, if that makes sense. In "The Past," (vague spoiler) Tyrone's 'mustache' serves as a symbol for him-- Emma not being able to accept the stupid adolescent mustache kind of symbolizes that she can't accept him, and I thought I'd put something similar in this one. I'm being intentionally vague, because... you'll see.
The thing about Ted that I don't know if I'm making clear is, he didn't run off to hang out with the werewolves because he was scared and wanted to save his own hide. He's in a peacekeeper position. He's representing the werewolves for the media (a lot of them don't even talk, they're so crazy wild) and he's also trying to keep the werewolves from joining the bigger group of crazy rampaging werewolves. He's doing a very Harry Potter thing and sacrificing what he really cares about for The Cause-- Ted's always been a bit like Harry in that matter, always having a very strong saving people thing. And Ivy agreed that was the best thing to do because she felt she couldn't be selfish when other people needed Ted-- if Ted had stayed, she'd probably go crazy out of guilt. We'll see more of how Ivy, Ted, and Harry all feel about this matter in Chapter Six!
Anatoly is... quite the character. He's the kind of person everyone says that about and can't decide if they like or not. I personally like him, but then, this story's through Emma's eyes, and she's ALWAYS hated Anatoly. You'll see more of him (and Emma's hatred of him) in "The Past." Honestly, Anatoly made Emma dance with Tyrone on purpose (cheaterpants!), firstly because he doesn't like Emma, and secondly because he DOES like Tyrone-- his best friend, B.C., was Tyrone's stepbrother, and Tyrone and B.C. got along well (one of the main reasons why B.C. and Wolfgang don't), and Anatoly wants Emma and Tyrone to get back together because he knows Tyrone was happier then. Anatoly is the world's biggest meddler, which is probably why Haley likes him so much-- she's the world's second-biggest meddler.
Wow what a hugely jampacked chapter. Firstly, is Antoly Capshaw the Slytherin boy who Professor Potatohead kept picking on in potions? And I guessed that B.C. was Wolfgangs brother when he was properly introduced in the teashop from Niflheim. I really don't know what to think of Haley and this production, but she is a very intuitive person and quite a good judge of character so hopefully it'll be IK. I'm also unsure as to the Tyrone/Wolfgang situation, I've gone off Tyrone a little but from what we know of him i don't think he'd do something like that, well, not in the way Wolfgang described it, unless he thought he had a very good reason. Perhaps we aren't seeing the whole story, Emma is also quite good at making snap decisions and although often right her judgement might be impared by her history with Tyrone. Signore Snore was hilarious, and you say he's based on someone real?! Oh and these werewolf attacks are really freaking me out, hope they're stopped soon. Finally, i found Emma's summary of P&P much more enjoyable than the real thing, reminds me of English class, but I do like that book.
Author's Response: Thank you! As for Anatoly, he's indeed the Slytherin boy who Zabini hates. He'll be a hugely important character in "The Past," so look out for him. I'm surprised you guessed about B.C.; that's pretty cool. As for Haley, yes, she's very good at trusting her intuition, but Emma's definitely less so! In fact, Emma's one of the worst judges of... anything ever, based on her track record. She liked Tancred Apple and initially hated Ivy, Vladislav, Anatoly, Tyrone, and a host of other characters in the past. But Emma can also be devastatingly insightful at times when she's not swayed by preconceptions. (Honestly, Emma's one of the most prejudiced people I've written-- she has so many preconceived notions that it's hard for her to see beyond them because she's so stubbornly convinced she's always right.)
Yep, Signore Snore's real-- but he didn't have spaghetti. He was a guy snoring loudly on a bus I was on in Europe. My friend's mom made up the name, and I thought it was hilarious! I'm so glad you liked the P&P summary-- my mom didn't like the summaries, because she feels it's kind of mean to the book.
Well, yet again you've had me shrieking with laughter and thats not advisable at twenty past eleven at night, but who cares. Anyway, the dream was awesome, I've had a few strange ones myself but none so strange as yours. Wolfgang sounds very nice, unlike Tyrone who seems to be getting a head too big for a broom to carry. I just hope Wolfgang won't turn out to be a proverbial frog. I say proverbial because i actually really like frogs. Oh and you weren't kidding when you said Emma's descriptions of Ted and Ivy weren't pretty - altogether now... OUCH! But she loves them really, doesn't she? Haley's reaction to the news that she would soon be an aunt came in close second as my favourite line. My first was - “Nice sarcasm,” said Ted. “It really brings out your eyes.” - There's something else about your writing style i like, you have everyone all bubbling over with happiness then in swoups the devastating cliffhanger. The news about the werewolves was terrible and I'm hoping it'll blow over, but somehow in the potterverse, it never does.
Author's Response: Thanks! I had fun with this chapter, it's wacky, isn't it? You should have seen me at 3 AM when I was reading Artemis Fowl book 6 in bed and cracking up... sadly, I share a room with my little sister and she kept laughing. "Proverbial frog," what does that mean? A Frenchman? I'm very confused. Perhaps it's an expression I've never heard of before...
Yeah, Emma loves Ted and Ivy, but she's very, very blunt. She loves them for who they are, but she's certainly not going to sugar coat it. And then there's the fact that she's totally incapable of finding anything even remotely attractive about Ted, which is important later on in her relationship with Ivy. Yep.You know, you're right-- I always do switch from bubbling over with happiness to 'devastating cliffhanger.' That's terrible! Why do I do that all the time? I never noticed that.
Your chapter end note made me sad, you seem to think that this was a boring chapter, but I loved it. Emma's thoughts and descriptions are so expressive and fast paced that the chapter would be exciting even if she was explaining the off side rule of football (about which, I might add, i have no clue). Anyway, that censorship quill is brilliant, wish they made it in pill form and i could feed it to my brother, every other word is at present an expletive. I really like the word Niflheim, sounds like a lovely countryside hamlet, a bit like the Shire in Lord of the Rings, only instead of hobbits it is enhabbited by Nifflers. Oh and that argument was mental, we have similar ones in our house all the time. My mum says disaster and master like disartser and marster, oh and tishie paper instead of tissue paper. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, it's just so weird. I have speech software on my computer and should hear some of it's variations on pronunciation, although my spelling might not help. Sorry, off at a tangent again. But seriously, I love these kind of chapters, so they've got to be in there somewhere to keep readers like me happy. :-)
Author's Response: Ahhh, I'm glad you didn't think it was boring. I meant that the plot/action doesn't start up until later in the story, but I was still saetting the stage. Does she say 'disarster' with an English accent or an American one, because it sounds normal in an English accent, but not in an American accent! I have friend who says "poaster" for poster, like with an English accent, but she says absolutely everything else in an American accent.
Wow, an absolutely amazing first chapter. You say at the beginning it's just an itro to the characters and anyone who's read Potters Pentagon could skip it? In the first place i'd never do this and in the second after having read the chapter I can't believe you'd suggest skipping such a fabulously written chapter from Emma's point of view! I'd quote some but I couldn't decide which lines i liked best. I hope the rest of the fic is mainly from Emma's view point, she's a great character, so alive and off the page.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I was worried it was a little bit tedious because it just rehashes what we've already seen. The entire story is from Emma's point of view except for the epilogue (which is only two paragraphs long). I have so much fun writing about Emma, though before I started with this story, I was worried because so many people seemed to hate her from Potter's Pentagon.
One question:Is Wolfgang a werewolf?
I love your P&P summary.
Author's Response: Do you really think I'd answer that? ^_^ All I can say is, read on and see for yourself. I'm so glad you liked the summary, and thanks for reviewing.
I actually enjoyed this chapter a lot, and I really enjoyed the P&P summary at the end.
And Darcy says, “My problem with you is… you misunderstand everyone. I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH. SO MISUNDERSTOOD. MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.”
At this point, there are volts of electricity zapping forth between Elizabeth and Darcy’s fierce eye contact. And that’s when the door bursts open and Jane and Bingley come out looking suspiciously disheveled, and they’re like, “Well! Time to get going!”
This part made me crack up like mad!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love writing the P&P summaries... this fic was a thin veneer for getting to post my P&P summaries online, because I tell these summaries to my siblings and friends who haven't read the books. And you should see my wacky running commentary for the Pride and Prejudice films! ^_^ I love Jane Austen, but I love to make fun of her stuff, too. And that's what she'd want, because she wrote the stuff to be funny.
You. Must. Write. More.
Seriously, Emma is a riot and I don't know why Jane Austen didn't write like you when she wrote P&P. It certainly would have made it MUCH MORE interesting.
"I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH. SO MISUNDERSTOOD. MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS."...honestly.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm working on Chapter Six as we speak... well, actually, I'm typing this and eating kettle corn, but you know! Actually, Jane Austen wrote Pride & Prejudice to be a humour story-- it was meant to be funny (as Emma realizes eventually toward the end of the story.) The main reason why I wrote this story is because not enough people seem to pick up on the humour in Jane Austen's books! So I decided to... adapt them to our time, in an appropriately funny manner, none of this gooshy overly romantic business.
i absolutely loved this chapter!!!!!!! i love all of your stories and this is so much fun!!! also, p&p is one of my favorite books!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! These are loads of fun to write, as well. And this is a compliment coming from a Jane Austen fan!
I seriously have to thank you for introducing me to the word "Niflheim". I recently scared Ioe with it, and, really, isn't that what it's all about?
Author's Response: Hahaha, thank you very much. Starting a mini-fad is the sincerest form of flattery.
Ted, I am so frigging mad at you right now! Only not as mad as I was with Lupin. ?????????? But I really hope he doesn't die. =( A world without Ted is no world at all.
lol, jk! I just still hope he doesn't die. Emma's review of P&P was hilarious - and now we know where Pre-Juiced Plums are from! *dances around Tyrone singing 'Prunes! PRUNES! PRUUUUUUESSS!'*
I couldn’t very bloody well say
Would bloody be considered a bad word or no? If so, wouldn't Emma's quill replaced with...I dunno, blood clot or something?
Also – Tyrone and Emma dancing? So cliché, but I luuuuurved it! It was too awkward! XDXDXD And as for Haley and Wolfgang? Love is in the aiiiiir…
Awesome chapter! Please update ASAP!~
Author's Response: I'm a bit disappointed with Ted, but at least he has a better reason than Lupin-- Ted's on a peacekeeping mission, AND his wife agreed. I'd still rather he stayed, though. *Sings to the tune of "Drink With Me" from Les Miserables: "Life without my Ted means nothing at all, I would weep like mad should Teddypoo fall... I would weep... so would Ivyyyyy!" Okay, that was lame.
Emma's allowed to use 'bloody' because that can be a word when it's NOT swearing. I originally censored it with something else (bubbly), but then I realized that the quill wouldn't be smart enough to know when it was used as swearing and when it was used like "his bloody fingers left disgusting streaks down my white t-shirt." So I left it. *Is too overly analytical!*
I was a very happy camper when Tyrone and Emma tangoed. Tyremma 4 eva! (Yes, that is their ship name.) Oh, but that porcelain kitten? What IS Haley, like an Umbridge wannabe? Sorry. I'm feeling sort of like Emma today. Bad Ted. Grr... But otherwise a fantabulous story! And I can't wait to read PPIII! The past, right? I'm hoping for some Tyremma juice...
Author's Response: Whoa, did they tango? I thought they semi-waltzed! Did my hormones kick into overdrive and make the little scoundrels tango instead? As for the porcelain kitten... hey, Haley likes cats. And I have a few porcelain kittens of my own. *Shrug* I used to buy them from the dollar store obsessively when I was like seven or eight. Hey, I thought I made up the ship name Tyremma like three years ago! Great minds think alike! If I'm not mistaken, I think PPIII (catchy name!) was just accepted. And there's LOADS of Tyremma to come, I'll tell you that!
This time, it wasn't my e-mail's fault. I was just too lazy to review it.
-I forgot about the special quill. That's a very clever device to use; you're being clear with the words that were there, but it seems "family friendly".
-"shindig"? Where did you get that, a dictionary from the fifties? Or sixties?
-Loved the bluntness of Emma towards Patrick. Excellent. I love bluntness. Exactly why I feud constantly with family. "No, I don't see why I should talk to your friend. She doesn't have any business with me, does she? Nor is she looking for anyone!"
-Well, at least the "Pre-juiced Plums" thing in the title is explained. Sort of. Hmm...prunes. Isn't the "modern" term dried plums?
-Vibrato. Not sure about it being a body part, but definitely sounds like an obscure family heirloom.
-Ted left...plot twist. Of course, Emma is completely right. He's pretty much dead either way. Heck, what woould be logical would be going to Harry's. He'd have to be safe there.
-Might you give me insight onto the story of the Swedish taxi driver?
-'Charlotte and Jean-Paul’--dang. stabbed to death. That is awesome for a musical.
-B.C.--I suspect something important about what that stands for.
-Hmm...not a terribly politically correct party game, eh?
Overall, I'd give it a 10/10. I guess you won me over with Emma's bluntness.
Author's Response: I use the word 'shindig' a lot because one of the songs I square-danced to in elementary school is called "A Shindig In The Barn," and my friends and I have used the word 'shindig' ever since because we thought it was HILARIOUS. Writing as Emma is very therapeutic, as she does and says things I never would! I'm the least confrontational, most doormat-ish person ever. I agree with everyone in real life. If someone asks me out that I don't like, I just say I'm busy and then I can't go-- sadly, I've done this for dances that I already have tickets or a new dress or plans for, or other events that I've been planning to attend.
Ted's especially dead because, should he come back alive, Emma would immediately kill him. It might be safe for him at Harry's... however, he's not going to the werewolves to be safe. He's trying to be a peacekeeper, a negociator, and a spokesperson for the werewolves to make them look good. But he's sacrificing personal happiness for the greater good, and Ivy's while he's at it.
I had a taxi driver in Sweden who only spoke Swedish and German and no English at all. I was the only person in the group who spoke German, but I wasn't exactly fluent. So I had to communicate with the taxi driver, and I accidentally kept using the word for 'daughter' instead of 'friend.' So he thought the person I was in the taxi with was my daughter. I didn't realize this for over a month...
Dude, yesterday was the anniversary of Marat's assassination by Charlotte Corday. AND TODAY IS BASTILLE DAY! My friend (the one I was in Sweden with) and I celebrated by going out to see Wall*E and dinner wearing REVOLUTIONARY COSTUMES. It was fun.
B.C.'s name isn't important, I just put that in because I never had a plan for what his name stood for-- it was inspired by a dream featuring a guy named B.C. Quinn who looked like Michael Ball and stuff. People kept asking in reviews, and some people came up with amusing ideas (like Saveginny417's "Bartholomew Christine" and my sister's "Blueberry Cupcake"), so I put it in the story. It probably stands for Basil Christopher or something... I could see why he wouldn't want to be called Basil.
Thanks so much! I know your ratings are serious and you actually do rate things based on how much you like 'em. I'm glad you liked it.
i am going to post the parts i found notable. :D
‘why, mother, that shade of purple looks very becoming on your lizard fork.’ -I want to know how the niflheim you came up with this. SRSLY.
‘call me Ishmael,’- Call me stupid (it's ok, i get it enough :)) but i still don't understand this...:(
As soon as Anatoly introduced his dandy way of choosing dancing partners, I knew it was Tyrone with Emma. Tsk Tsk. Predictability WORKS EVERY TIME
“My problem with you is… you misunderstand everyone. I AM MISUNDERSTOOD, ELIZABETH. SO MISUNDERSTOOD. MY MIND IS A DANK, LONELY CAVE OF SHADOW AND DARKNESS.”- HAHAHAH i had to laugh out loud at this.
so this time you made my 9:36 snack of formula 50 VitaminWater absotutely posolutely grape-ier. :)
Author's Response: I'm very happy you brought up that lizard fork quote. I actually mentioned it in the author's note when I initially submitted the story, but it was above the word limit, so I didn't cite it. The quote is from Dylan Meconis' brilliant webcomic, "BITE ME," a hilarious romp featuring eccentric French vampires (including a hyperactive barmaid who was accidentally turned into a vampire, a chivalrous male vampire who's obsessed with being the knight in shining armor despite his evil leanings, a sadistic and murderous female vampire who's scarier than Emma, and her flamboyant pretty boy bimbo boyfriend who is straight despite all evidence to the contrary) and a sarcastic German werewolf. GO READ IT NOW!
The Ishmael thing is explained later in the story, but you might have missed it. "Call me Ishmael" is the first sentence of Moby Dick, a book about a whale. Clio said, "At least stories about me don't start with "Call me Ishmael." Basically, she's calling Emma fat, although she's not. But Emma's a bit sensitive about weight because her two best girlfriends are both rather skinny and delicate, so the insult kind of hit below the belt.
Honestly, I think Anatoly INTENTIONALLY paired Tyrone and Emma. I'm sure that was his plan from the start. He's that kind of guy. Plus, he doesn't really like Emma and Wolfgang being together, and Anatoly's a pesky meddling little boy. ^_^ I love Ani, though. And yes, Mr. Darcy is an emo dork.
Thanks bunches (of grapey grapes) for your review!
I was so excited when my sister told me that there was a new chapter of ‘Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums’. It’s so Emma to be excited by some one being stabbed in the bathtub. Speaking of the guy who go stabbed in the bathtub, today is the anniversary of the stabbing. At least so says my sister, who read it in the local paper. Our local paper has a list of interesting historical things that happened on the date that the paper is delivered. This was the first one on the list. The paper also said that the girl who did the stabbing was executed four days later, yuck, all I’ve got to show in injuries is falling over in to a rose bush wearing a blind fold (I know, I’m weird). Any ways, I LOVED the vibrato part, I told it to my Father and he thought it was funny, too. I also loved ‘The Dark Lord’s’ blog, but just haven’t reviewed it. I’m constantly quoting: ‘I-N-C-O-R-R-E-C-T spells wrong!’. Sorry this turned out so long! Keep posting (more P&P and The Truth!).
Author's Response: Ooh, there seems to be new formatting on the review page. Melikes it. Anyway, thank you so much! TODAY IS BASTILLE DAYYYYY! The day that everyone decided to free all the prisoners from jail, except there were only seven people in it. LAWL. Anyway, the girl who executed Marat, according to legend, blushed and looked upset AFTER HER HEAD HAD BEEN CUT OFF when the executioner slapped her cheek. The Truth is totally complete, but I submitted the third book; let's hope it's accepted soon.