This is pretty much The Great Gatsby.
Wow. THat was really gently, beautifully written- not telling us too much, but just enough, kind of teasing but really good. Also when I saw it was based on THe Great Gatsby I was so terrified it would all end badly- so thank you for giving this a happy ending!
At last, they are back in each other's arms, well sort of anyway, and Siobhan is alive again! This chapter was the best yet. Liam's uncomfortableness at the beginning was so greatly worded.
And you have a way with the romance between Lucius and Siobhan that is scary. I thought you had their dialogue perfectly.
This was truly a wonderful experience, Anna, and I thank you for writing this wonderful brilliance.
I will be sure to read the companions to this.
The area around the bar was less crowded now, and after hanging around for about half an hour I nearly bumped into a man. I excused myself, and he looked at me and smiled.
“Your face is familiar,” he said politely. “Where could we have met before?”
Hehe, I had to chuckle here because I knew that he had met Malfoy, simply because I have read TGG.
Now, this was another great chapter, your truly brilliant, I do hope you know that. Your descriptions of the party are wonderful and you’re probably tired of hearing this, but they match so very well. Honestly, I don’t think that I have read another story like this, even for someone who may not have read the novel, this has to seem brilliance because your words are magic.
The thing that I loved the most though, was the way that you placed the ending. Liam and Hermione are just a sweet vision and this scene was sweet. Great job once more.
*Gives Anna some chocolate frogs to make up for her annoyingness*
Another great chapter. This is truly a great, great comparison to the novel it is based from. From the conversation with Hermione, to Harry’s affair, to the deadened emotion of Siobhan, it is all perfectly paired with the events in The Great Gatsby. You have really done your research in making this story, and I think that I may just be falling in love with this story as well.
“Liam, this is Hermione Granger, a friend of ours. I bet you have heard of her.”
I wished that I had, but even though her name sounded vaguely familiar I knew for sure that I had never seen her face before. I would have remembered it.
“Don’t be silly, Harry,” she spoke in a clear voice. “I’m not famous like you, thank Merlin. But,” she added and leaned forward, hand outstretched, “it is a pleasure to meet you nonetheless, Mr Connolly.”
I mean, how could you get anymore accurate with the mannerisms matching those in the novel itself? Amazing.
I also loved the sadness you depict in Siobhan’s eyes. There is so much in this story that relates to the novel and yet it falls in so well with the world in which the characters belong.
“Yes, assuming the place we’re talking about is the Malfoy Manor.”
The two of us jumped slightly then, startled by the noise of Siobhan’s fork falling onto her china plate.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled and quickly gathered her skirts. She was gone from the room before I had a chance to ask what had upset her. I looked at Miss Granger with the question at the tip of my tongue. She sighed.
“I don’t blame her.”
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“No, no. She’s just…” Miss Granger hesitated for a moment. “Well, they say that Harry has got some woman in London.”
This part sticks out particularly in my mind as the point that I felt that you had truly done an amazing job at relating this with TGG.
The way that Harry describes his affair is also chilling, and the way that Liam begins to feel that brotherly protection again… just wonderful! And Liam running into Mr. Malfoy, why this is quite the twisted drama that the novel is, only much more scandalous in my mind. I really love this story and your writing. I am definitely glad that I finally found time to read this.
Must continue onward. Great work,
Oh my, what a beautiful story you have here.
First and foremost, I love the way that you have written this. Your words flow effortlessly onto the page. The Great Gatsby is one of my favorite novels, and the way that you have used Liam to connect with Mr. Malfoy is wonderful. The story fits perfectly along with The Great Gatsby. The East and the West, such beautiful allusions. And the well-written words that you have here are placed so eloquently and perfectly to match that of the way novel, yet still very different.
I thought that the way you wrote Liam was sweet and genuine, just like I imagine him to be. I can’t wait to read the rest to see how you have adapted this novel into the Potterverse, more specifically the universe that Jenna created with these amazing characters.
I love the action that begins the first chapter. It draws the reader in immediately, and the mention of Harry is enough to make even the most jaded fan stop and say ‘WHAT?’ – Siobhan? Who the bloody hell is that? Of course, we’re assuming that those reading haven’t become familiar with her in any other verse. But the thought of Liam and Siobhan not close pains me. To me, Liam is her refuge (Sins-verse) and it hurts to think that she didn’t have that. But, she has Harry. I suppose that is to compensate. I can handle it in those circumstances.
The line ‘to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all’ struck me as particularly poignant. It really is a beautiful line, in a heartbreaking sort of way – this is his sister and brother-in-law he’s referring to this way. I can’t imagine why Liam would name his horse Anna, unless he had such an incredible affection for a young woman in his youth that he named his most prized possession after her – yes, I think that must have been it. He must have been dreadfully in love with this woman, to be so protective of the animal that bears her name.
Oh, dear. Now we come to the point, don’t we? Harry’s eyes aren’t quite what they once were – and why, I’m sure we’re soon to discover. I rather think it has something to do with a certain blonde. But – Harry with house elves? And ones that aren’t used to being thanked? Do I like this Harry? (says the woman who wrote him as a mass-murdering rapist…)
That bi- oh, wait. I’m sorry. *clears throat* Oh, Hermione’s there, too – how lovely! Hem, hem. But, yes, back to Siobhan, Liam’s real reason for being at Harry’s house – a visit. Sounds fascinating, Hermione, do tell us more…Oh – I mean – yes, fabulous what you have Hermione doing. *makes shifties*
Oh, Lord, woman don’t spill your entire spiel to Liam on your first meeting – you’ll run out of things to talk about once you exhaust S.P.E.W. – ANNA! Stop me from being so catty towards Hermione! It’s not becoming of a SPEW review to be so mean to someone’s character.
“Free as Snidgets, and better paid than you when you joined the Ministry.” LMAO! That is fabulous! And then comes the bomb. The mere name of Malfoy causes her to leave the room. Deceitful wretch! Harry isn’t my favorite character by any means, but he doesn’t deserve what that wench is undoubtedly doing to him!
Katie! HA! I knew it. I knew she’d show up in there somehow. I knew that Siobhan did something to Harry. (Yes, she’s blacker than Hermione in my book at the moment, I’ve got less claim on Liam).
I knew it. I KNEW THAT SMARMY BASTARD WOULD SHOW UP!
Darling, it was wonderful. So wonderful that my SPEWly review has been nothing more than commentary, which if you’d emailed it to me for beta-ing beforehand, you’d have spared yourself this. It’s your fault for writing such an engaging tale. I love you!
I think it helps, dearest, that I’ve become familiar with the Connollys, the Murphys and, of course, Lucas in the course of my beta-jobs. It makes the reading of these background stories much more enjoyable.
And he were are, deep in the scandal of Liam and his birth *gasp*! I do so like to see the tale from Liam’s POV, of course. And the Finnish House Elf. *giggles* That was far too endearing.
I like the slow building of suspense you’ve created in this chapter. I like the way it seems to swell as if something enourmous is about to happen, only we, the reader, are too slow and stupid to know it. But mostly I love the voice you’ve given Liam. To me, only familiar with him through your birthday gift to him *cough* and as Siobhan’s father in Sins, this voice seems wonderful and perfect. Of course, I take it I’m not to know that this is Liam speaking – is name is never mentioned, after all.
Your cadence and structure are beautiful, almost lilting. It’s musical in a non poetic way, if that makes any sense. But then, they always are. Your word choices are exquisite and perfectly suited to the theme and tone of the tale. As the prologue itself was rather short, I’ve not much else to say, except well-done, love.
I now like The Magnificent Malfoy even better than The Great Gatsby. Okay, so that might be stretching it, but I don't care. You deserve some praise for what delicious thing you've done here, Anna. The shocking tones and moral decline of the characters in the latter are softened with their actions' justifications in the former. This is what my delusional and unrealistic (and a little insane and errant) tastes prefer. Harry is an angel compared to Tom, and Siobhan is an exotic orchid, not too bad a Daisy.
I also love how Liam found Hermione, instead of a Jordanish girl. Nothing fake about Hermione's breeding, is there, just as there's no doubt about her sincerity.I looked up Granians in Encarta, came up with zilch. I was confused at first why the 'horses' had wings. It took a while for it to sink in that this is your own invention, as a parallel to GG's recurring symbol of 'driving'. Nice one, Anna, as well as the details as to riding and horses. I'll be looking back on them for referrence. They're that good.
I read this in one sitting, the story just flowed from one well-structured paragraph to the next, and comfortably from one cleverly Potterized idiom to the next, too. I love it when fan fiction are this literary and Potterish. Mostly, authors lean more on one and forget the other. Kudos to you for achieving balance.I'm now very curious and impatient to read this story's companions (and I think it's compulsory for this to have companions, for those who aren't familiar with GG's premise). Of course, I'll be making time to read Sins as well. I just hope I won't be unfair to Jenna and come to her story expecting it to read like a Fitzgerald, too. She has you to thank for that. *grins*
Yes! Yes yes YES!!! I liked it alot...please put the one shots up!!!! :)
I love Siobhan and Lucius together "Sins of the Father" really got me into the characters fist though:) Still Great job on this one:)
I like it- I think it is a good idea. I was expecting Draco though,,,but lucius makes it interesting.
Awesome! Can't wait to see the nest. Maybe, even if it was a bit ooc for harry, you should include the "nordic race" scene
Where to start-- interesting OC with a great history, and I love the parallels and the divergences from _The Great Gatsby._ I'm glad it's not just a one-shot. :)
Author's Response: Thanks for your review and kind words! The first proper chapter is up now, in case you might be interested. ;)