Reviews For Hold Onto Nothing
Reviewer: liquid_silver
Date: 02/17/09 16:51
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

This was so well-written! Your use of the second person was perfect for this, and you did an amazing job of portraying Julia's emotions.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Reviewer: captburke
Date: 02/07/09 21:28
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

Very moving story. And a happy ending. Those don't happen often enough.

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

Reviewer: witch6
Date: 08/21/08 16:47
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

I absolutely love the way you started the story. Although when I first read it I didn't realise that you were going to talk about Julia's life as seasons pass by, I still thought it was beautiful. You have described Julia's feelings about trying to cling to her parent's memories really well. The reader could feel the pain, the happiness and then the sadness that Julia was feeling too. I usually don't judge a story by the way it starts, but once I read the first two lines of your story, I knew I wanted to complete it.

As for the changing seasons- you did it really well. Authors have used seasons to show differences in their subject’s life a lot in their story, but you handled it differently and beautifully (I keep using that word, but I really can’t help it!). You used this plot device to make us feel the ache in Julia’s heart. If you had given only an example or two about how Julia felt, you wouldn’t have communicated as effectively as you did by reminding us again and again. Your descriptions for the various seasons were amazing and not at all clichd as they generally end up being. I could almost feel the seasons change around me when they did in the story. Seriously, you did a great job with that!

You managed to pull off a second person POV very well too. Even though I think I saw a mistake with the flow in a couple of places, overall you did a very good. One usually doesn’t find authors treading down this path, but I am glad you did as your narrative and tone made a huge difference to this story. Because of the second person POV, the reader felt distant from the actual world, just the way Julia did. It helped in communicating Julia’s feelings even better.

“You are left with the fact you have no one, save for a matron who still calls you Janie instead of Julia”
This is probably a very minute thing, but when I read this line I could almost cry. This line shows how it is to not have anyone who is your own in your life. It makes a huge difference to have your own family around you who would take care of you. It is probably because of this very line that when Julia finally finds a family, I could feel the satisfaction and love and the loss of emptiness too.

You have written a very beautiful story and I’m glad I read it. I haven’t given much constructive criticism, but, honestly, I am so in love with your story that I can’t see any flaws. This is definitely going to be one of my all-time-favourites. Thanks!

:)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your lovely comments! I'm so glad you liked the seasons part, and the line you mentioned is one of my favorites, too. Thank you again! XD

Reviewer: inspirations
Date: 08/12/08 8:22
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

I think the way you wrote this story from Julia's Pov worked really well, because it wasn't obviously from her - almost like somebody was watching. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the way you wrote it worked really well. I think you used the word "you" too much though. I think you did it like that on purpose but you have to be careful not to repeat a word too much - I know this as I do it all the time and have to go back and pick my brain for better wording.

It was quite sad in places - but then what do I expect? Julia's emotions have been captured excellently, and it's nice to know she was told the truth about her parents and got adopted. Excellent story overall :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I know what you mean about repeating words too much -- I'll go back and edit some of the "you"s when I have the chance. Thanks for the review! :)

Reviewer: hicktib
Date: 08/02/08 15:38
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

Makes you believe in "happy everafter".

Thank you for writing this.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. :)

Reviewer: Mistletoe
Date: 07/28/08 14:10
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

That was so beautiful! I love how it was all narrative, but you conveyed the idea of conversation through the words. This is definitely a different world within the world we know. Something one would never think of. I mean Marlene McKinnon was mentioned only a few times, and you manage to make a whole new story out of her life. Great, great job. It was so original how you divided up the segments by the seasons. It made me excited to see what memory or image would come with each change.

I love the emotions that Julia has. Basically just hopelessness to the point that she can’t even believe she is being adopted. Her want and need of parents is almost desperate. When she still hopes for them to come get her after she finds out about their death, I felt so sorry for her. She was almost too hopeful in that moment. Many betraying emotions which seems to fit perfectly with the confusion of living in an orphanage.

One thing I noted was that at first, her husband’s name was Jacob, and then throughout the rest, he was named Peter.

I really enjoyed this fic. It’s always nice to read something that has never been attempted before.

--Kat

Author's Response: Thanks! I had a lot of fun trying out a different style and format. :) I just fixed the Peter/Jacob thing - originally the husband's name was Peter but it reminded me of Peter Pettigrew, so I started to change it, and then forgot to finish. >.> Anyway, thanks for the lovely review, and I'm glad you liked the story! :)

Reviewer: Elf01
Date: 07/28/08 3:53
Chapter: Hold onto nothing, as fast as you can

Hi. I liked this. I think that the second person makes the story very effective. I could really feel Julia’s emotions.

However I have spotted a continuity error and (I think), a Britpick.

SPOILER ALERT:

First the continuity error: In the sentence Anna and Jacob continue to come visit you and before that Anna’s husband is called Jacob. Later on this is changed to Peter, such as in the sentence Anna and Peter want to adopt you.

END SPOILER ALERT

Now the possible Britpick. I think that fall should be autumn.

Once again I enjoyed this. I liked the reason that Julia’s parents gave her up and Emmiline’s explanation. I wonder why Emmiline didn’t come again, but as this is from Julia’s POV the explanation couldn’t be put in.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! I just fixed the Peter/Jacob thing, so thanks for pointing that out! As far as the fall/autumn, I'm American so I have no idea, but I'm going to check on it, so thanks for the tip. :)

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