I like your work, Jenny B. Keep it up!
Oh, yay, Jen!
I’m finally getting back into doing my monthly reviews, and what a way to start them off again! Goodness gracious, how I loved this story. Just…I loved the characters, their interactions – everything just seemed to work so well.
First off, I quite liked the title and how it connected to the story as a whole. Hermione, who is somewhat stuck in a relationship with Ron, can’t escape and Draco, who has rather suddenly fallen in love with Hermione, can’t escape from that either. I was kind of thinking for a few minutes that perhaps Ron was stuck in a situation that he couldn’t escape from either (dating Hermione? Not proposing?), but there isn’t one that really quite fits. He’s really more of the figure in the story who is right where he wants to be – with Hermione and doing the job that he loves.
I also thought that Hermione’s character was spot on. She’s a rational and extraordinarily logical person throughout, until she loses most of her inhibitions while drinking. One thing that I really liked about her character is how she knows that she is physically attracted to Draco, but knows that she is loyal to Ron. The loyalty is just one of those things in the Harry Potter series that JK Rowling emphasizes as being one of the most important things that humans can have. Loyalty and love. I really like how you incorporated those two ideals within Hermione’s feelings for Ron. While in a lot of just general fiction, the reader would have expected Hermione to stay with Draco because of the newly discovered passion and love, it wouldn’t have worked for this story. You tie it so nicely to canon by having Hermione go back to Ron (and not just because they end up that way, either) because she knows that their love and her loyalty to him is more valuable that the lust with Draco.
/long thought process to get to an idea
Although I thought that you did an excellent job with Draco’s characterization, I had a rather sticky moment when he was confessing his love to Hermione. Perhaps it’s because I simply can’t picture Draco in such a situation…Regardless, I didn’t really expect him to be so open and lacking cynicism. Perhaps it was the word “breathlessly” that got me. I can’t really picture Draco doing anything in which he wasn’t perfectly composed. But this is truly a minor nitpick of mine, as I thought that Draco’s characterization was excellent overall.
I also thought that the ending was simply perfect. I was worried for a few moments that it was just going to end with the proposal and then a happy marriage, but those fears were put to bed. I thought that, even though it was only a few sentences, the ending characterized Draco perfectly. Slightly bitter over what he had and what he couldn’t hold on to and then destroying any sort of sign that would remind him of his loss. So perfect.
Gah. I just loved this story overall, Jen. And that’s kind of interesting coming from me, as I almost NEVER read Dramione. Despite my limited experience with it, I think that you pulled off the pairing exceptionally well. :D
Author's Response: 0.o Thank you, Kelly! It's been ages since I got such a wonderful review. :) Your comments all made me smile so much, because I'm quite proud of this story. I'm very glad you liked it! With the characterisation on Draco - I was thinking about that part being OOC when I wrote it, but I decided that we've never really seen Draco with a girl he actually likes, and something has to unsettle him, especially after how he's changed because of the war. I hardly ever read Dramione too, let alone read it, so this was a new thing for me. ^_^ Thank you again!
AHHH! I just reviewed and it didn't go through! I'm mad now.
Aww. Poor Draco!
I can't believe Hermione and Draco had a one night stand, or that Hermione got drunk, and off of wine too!
And SPEW. That was great that you continued SPEW. :D
I am really happy I read this. RL and school get in the way and I haven't read a fanfiction story in a while.
Great job, poor Draco, bad Hermione, pregnant Ginny, and Harry and Ron being Harry and Ron! Lol.
Author's Response: Thank you, Allie! What a lovely review. :)
I love this story. And it's not because I'm your friend and I love you lots, I genuinely love it. This is my first Dramione and you actually make it work. I'll have poodle round the site later to see how it can be done badly. Although, on this site, can it? /ramble. Anyway, lets get down to the reviewing. Even though I'm rubbish at it and never know what to do. But I've heard that authors don't really appreciate people writing 'OMG, ME LUFFS IT!!!!!!! EXCESSIVE USE OF PUNCTUATION' No offence to anyone who's left that in a comment. Right, finally down to reviewing...
I think that the plot and the idea and everything is great. And the dialogue and description is really really good. The Aurors going to America could be seen as quite clichéd though, and it'd probably be a better bet to go with a place like Germany in the black forest or somewhere like that. Lots of forests and places there for auror training :)
The little details are the things that I love about stories. 'He had dropped her hands.' It just confirms to me that it's our Ron that we're reading about, and not 'love god' Ron. Because he his slightly awkward and geeky and he probably wouldn't even think that by dropping her hands, she was noticing. I just love that little detail there.
You mention Molly and Arthur's marriage, but I don't really understand that little detail. You put it in, I think, to show that even the most perfect marriage isn't perfect? But surely even Ron would realise that everything isn't always fine and dandy. But maybe he's just looking for excuses not to propose to Hermione. Wimp :D
I'd always imagined Malfoy being quite anti-social and well, a loner after the fall of Voldy. Great minds work alike. But I think you've underestimated the closeness of the Malfoy family. They've always been described in canon as being quite close. And although I agree with the fact that they would like to regain their place in society, I feel it would be mainly Lucius who did that, and not Narcissa. Then again, I don't think you actually mentioned Draco having a grudge against Narcissa... But I think she'd be happy as long as he was happy. He is her only child, and spoilt to death, apparantly.
The use of alcohol is quite interesting. I'm not sure that two glasses of wine would be quite enough to tip Hermione over the edge into spontaneity though. Suggesting to me, that she wanted an escape from ronnie-kins. So she shouldn't blame it all on Malfoy... Even when you're drunk, you still have a little voice telling you, 'nonono, don't do that you stupid girl.' Hermione's ignored her voice. I'm not sure if Hermione would use such language as 'fuck.' To be fair, she does only think it, because I can't imagine Hermione effing and blinding. It just isn't here. I see Malfoy saying it, and other characters such as Ron and Ginny. But not Harry or Hermione, even when Harry's in I AM AN ANGRY EMO, HEAR ME ROAR mode.
And you horrible girl, you've made me feel sorry for Malfoy. I actually kind of fancy him as well. You've done quite a nice love story. Choose between stability or adventure. Hermione chose stability... I'd choose... hmm, I don't know. If it was anyone else, I think that Hermione would choose Ron, and she does brush on that. ‘But … it’s Ron’ If Draco hadn’t been a death eater, I’m sure she’d have gone for him.
Well, so ends my review. I could’ve said so much more, but this is awful enough as it is. I do love this story – stupidly a lot actually.
Everyone review this, it’s amazing.
Author's Response: Eeee! A review from my favourite person in the world. :) I know the America thing is a little cliche, but it's cliche because it makes sense that the highest quality Auror training would be in America. You know what I mean? Also, yes, Ron was a wimp. Everything between him and Hermione was perfect, and he didn't want to change it by marrying her, because then it may not have been perfect anymore. As for the Malfoys, I think that Draco finally realised that his parents were bad people. He had never really wanted to be a Death Eater, and he thought that by distancing himself from his parents he would be a better person. :P You have a good point with Hermione swearing, but I still like it. She's older now, and I think she may have loosened up a bit, being around Ron all the time. Thank you for the lovely review, dear! And I'm glad I made you feel sorry for Malfoy. I've become quite fond of him myself. :) *hug*
This was really good...and under-reviewed in my opinion. Your characterization was great, especially with Ron. I enjoy dramione fics but I'm glad you made her and Ron get engaged at the end, I always thought they were made for each other. A truly beautiful fic..great job :D
Author's Response: *smiles* What a lovely review! I'm not usually a Dramione fan, which is why it ended up Ron/Hermione. Thank you for your kind words!
Author's Response: Thank you!
i really loved this story, i'm a huge draco fan and was always pulling for him to change, thanks for giving him a softer side!
Author's Response: My pleasure. =) Thanks for the review!
That was so good....and depressing. LOL! I almost wanted her to end up with Draco, but I thought the story was wonderful.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.