Dude. I think you're not NEARLY as bad at "serious" stories as you think you are. This was a remarkable story, in my opinion. It's powerful, and it provides insight into - gives *humanity* to - a character who everyone probably writes off as just another Death Eater - no more or less than a monster. And it's also well-written, in my opinion, despite what you might think. And I just loved this description of the Death Eaters: "the ranks of the haters, the destroyers, the warriors of discrimination." =)
Only one issue with it: by the end of the description of the woman, I was almost sure she was Andromeda...and then she got killed. O.o *Was* it Andromeda and this story needs an AU warning, or was it just a coincidence that the eyes looked similar?
Anyway. I think the lady doth protest too much. Not all your stories suck. (I can't say that all your stories rock, of course - just that the ones I have read do. :P)
Author's Response: First off, I have to say that I'm SO, SO SORRY I haven't been online -- when I promised to beta that one-shot of yours, I had totally forgotten that I was going to be at my aunt's house without Internet. I just remembered five minutes ago, and I only saw the notification for this review when I logged into my Yahoo account to see if you'd sent me the story -- I've been using my AOL account far more lately, but as I didn't see an e-mail from you I don't suppose it matters at the moment anyway. Again, I'm sorry, and if you let me beta for you in the future I swear I'll be more reliable. That being said, thanks so much for the kind review! I'm so glad you think I'm a good writer, much as I disagree. And no, she wasn't supposed to be Andromeda -- just a woman that reminded Rodolphus of Bellatrix. Andromeda married a Muggle-born, not a Muggle. I really should have made that more clear -- another reviewer thought she was Andromeda, too. *embarrassedface*
You know, when I first read the summary, I would have bet anything the nephew was going to be Draco.
First off, I think you paint a very realistic portrait of a young guy who thinks he wants to be a Death Eater. I can just imagine a pureblood boy told over and over again that being a Death Eater was wonderful turning out this way.
"But I want to do the Dark Lord's bidding! I want to put Muggles and Mudbloods and filth in their place! I – " Rodolphus raises a hand, and Eridanus is silenced.
It's just utterly believable for him to act this way; I think you do a great job of characterising him so well in such a short fic.
But your characterisation of Rodolphus is what sticks out to me the most. I think I say this about every Rodolphus fic I've read (and believe me — I've read them all), but I think you've done an amazing job making him seem like Bella's tragic husband.
"There is no turning back. You've come too far. You haven't the courage to desert the Dark Lord. There is nothing you can do but continue carrying out his wishes, never revealing to anyone how much it destroys you to do so. But you will never forget the fright frozen in those heavy-lidded eyes as the life behind them was erased."
It's just perfect — exactly how I imagine him. I've read and even written him so many ways, but this is always the one I come back to. You've nailed him.
"There is no sound except the slow dripping of wine onto the floor."
This line is just… so perfect and ominous. And the fact that Rod killed Andromeda! It's definitely brilliant. But my favourite line is:
"I thought not."
This is definitely a great way to end this fic. It's so fitting and really makes me love Rodolphus even more.
So I just want to say it was a wonderful fic, short and exploratory, but it really hits the mark. Good job!
Author's Response: Wow, thanks so much for the wonderful review! I'm glad you liked it. But, as much as I hate to say, I didn't intend for the woman Rodolphus kills to be Andromeda -- we meet her in Deathly Hallows, remember? It was just coincidence that the woman he killed had the same eyes as Bellatrix, and that she married a Muggle man just as Andromeda did. Her resemblance to Bellatrix was only to make Rodolphus pause enough so that he had a chance to actually think about what he was about to do. The resemblance also served the purpose of contrasting the two relationships -- Rodolphus got to see a woman who reminded him irresistibly of his wife in a loving relationship, which of course forces him to think about the fact that Bellatrix didn't love him anymore, or at least, not as much as she loved Voldemort. I agree, it would have been much more powerful if it was Andromeda, but then it wouldn't be canon-compliant. =-[
Good representation of someone who believes unconditionally in an ideal. They become so completely immersed in the beliefs that the individual can't believe that they are wrong. Until it is too late. Good one-shot!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
I like this fic because Rodolphus finally shows some remorse about the horrible things he has done in his life. Please write more stories; you're a very good writer.
Author's Response: Thanks a lot! I definitely will write more.
A fascinating insight into the mind of a death eater. I enjoyed this very much, it was interesting to see how a death eater feels when ending someones life. Great job, thanks for sharing. :D
Author's Response: Thanks!
wow that was so well written. I give you a well deserved two thumbs up! i really liked this fic because i always wondered how death eaters felt about killing other people. I always wondered if they even had a soft bone in their body at all. This fic answered my questions and i must say it was done really well. i can't wait to read another one of your stories.
Good Luck In The Future
Author's Response: Thank you very much!