MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Name: Tim the Enchanter
(Signed) · Date:
10/12/09 22:39 · For:
Hello, James. Is this really your only story? I thought you had written more, being de facto leader of the men of Ravenclaw house, on the forums.
Anyway, on to reviewing this story!
The first thought that went through my head upon seeing the name ‘Luna Sol’ was that Xenophilius was commenting on his daughter Luna, with ‘Sol’ being her middle name. Of course, it became apparent that this Luna was Luna’s mother, and Sol is an interesting choice for a surname. Though her astronomical name does give her a sort of spacey feeling, her name of the moon and sun also made me think that her personality should be one of opposites. For a moment, I briefly entertained the thought that she was bipolar…
But enough with name analysis! The Dementor attack was an interesting way to introduce flashbacks of Xenophilius’ and Luna’s early relationship, in order to have the proper arsenal of happy memories to conjure a Patronus. However, having a bunch of Dementors descend upon their wedding seemed to be rather random. I understand this was probably during the first Voldemort war, but I had to remind myself of that fact when I was trying to figure out what Dementors were doing at their wedding. Also concerning the Dementors, it is implied that they just don’t run amok and go where they’re ordered to, which suggests that the Dementors were deliberately sent to interrupt Xenophilius’ wedding. From what we’ve seen in Deathly Hallows, the Death Eaters thought Xenophilius as something of a fool and easy to push around (which he was), and not a serious threat.
I think ‘Xenny’ is an odd choice for a diminutive of Xenophilius. Personally, I would have gone with ‘Xeno’, but Xenny is quite odd. But I suppose that is appropriate, considering that Luna as you portrayed her is quite an odd woman to begin with.
The memories were rather short and choppy, and could have been more developed, I think. Their professions of love seem very spontaneous and just jump at you without much buildup. On the other hand, the Lovegoods are pretty weird people, so I suppose that could just be normal behaviour for them.
I like the idea of a platypus being Xenophilius’ Patronus. However, I don’t think a Hippogriff Patronus really works for a Luna-ish character like Luna Sol. The Hippogriff is a rather serious, proud creature, and I would have picked something odder or more playful. Maybe a hummingbird or something like that.
The ending was good. I’d think Xenophilius would just go on with the wedding as if nothing had happened. However, about the pastor, religion is pretty much completely absent in the Harry Potter books, and even Fleur and Bill’s wedding is simply presided by a “tufty-haired wizard.”
But I nitpick. Overall, this was a nice little story, offering an interesting look into a seldom seen character, and his wife that we know nothing about. I think this story could have been longer, but considering that it primarily concerned a single incident, the length was adequate enough. Do you intend to write any more fanfics? I can see that Xenophilius and Luna Sol is a pairing you might enjoy pursuing further.
~ Tim the Enchanter
(Signed) · Date:
09/03/09 18:57 · For:
Believe it or not, James, I think I have actually read this before. :) No bother, it was still good the second time around :) I liked it a lot. I'm glad I read it (again). I look forward to seeing more from you!
Name: Red and Gold
Author's Response: Thanks Gabby. I'll definitly tell you when there is more which hopefuly will be soon.
(Signed) · Date:
12/13/08 14:27 · For:
I'm so excited that you have your first story up! I loved it when I first read it, and enjoy it still more knowing it's been validated.
I, of course, like that it's a romance, and it's so nice that the memories that help Xenny conjure a Patronus are his memories of Luna Sol. I like how they fight together to drive off the dementors, then get right back to the wedding. Maybe Dementors attack the wedding because of all the happy emotions, and because a crowd is gathered? Regardless, you have written a lovely story which is thoroughly enjoyable. Congratulations!
Author's Response: Thank you Andi.
I thought it out partially this was during the time of Voldemort's first reign of terror, and now you just put the rest of my idea in there.
(Signed) · Date:
12/11/08 10:08 · For:
James as you know I really like what you did with your prombt, and it's a very cute story. I know you said you liked this pairing so you should definatly write more about them.
I was a bit confused bout where the Dementors came from and why they attacked the wedding. That could have been more explained I think.
Really enjoyed reading this again and I'm glad you got it accepted.
Author's Response: The only problem to the reason as to why the Dementors attacked is that I had a short amount of time to write this and I couldn't think of anything.