Truly brilliant. O.O I swear my breath quickened as I was reading this. It's a pairing I never would have imagined, but you've made it incredibly believable. Two thumbs up!
sad ending, but i like this a lot. nice job.
Author's Response: thank you!
Sorry, no time for a long review, so i will just leave a quick note. The feelings in this fic were so intense and well written, it was amazing. You made such an unlikely couple seem so believable! It was really well written, well done.
Author's Response: I'm so sorry about not replying earlier! My notifications stopped working. Brief note or not, thank you for the feedback. I appreciate it so much.
awesome, i loved it, but YOU NEED TO WRITE A SEQUEL. it was amazing, really... seriously though, write a sequel
Author's Response: Oh, thanks! We'll see how that goes.
t's difficult to find a well written femmeslash, especially with such a rare pairing, but you've definitely done that here. You've also managed to make an unconventional pairing quite believeable, not an easy task for these two. Great job!
Author's Response: I'm certainly glad that you enjoyed it - thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you!
It's not often that I read slash fics, because the pairings usually don't interest me. Narcissa/Lily? An entirely unlikely pairing, and yet you've made it completely believable in this one shot.
Slash fics are rarely emotive enough for my liking, and simply rely on using the individuals confusion and worry about what the other person will think of them. You've avoided this completely, and it's worked extremely well.
Even in a situation that is so not 'canon', you've characterised these girls extremely well.
“What do you want?” the girl asked, managing to convey a tone of haughty superiority despite her startled state. This I loved as it captures her character perfectly. It's easy to lose a sense of who characters are when writing romance, but you keep them well in line!
I also liked how you don't showJames and Lily's relationship in a good light; it makes the Lily/Narcissa relationship seem all the more plausible for your one shot.
Threading the fire and cold through the story was done really well, and I didn't pick out any flaws.
I loved it. :)
Author's Response: I'm glad that you enjoyed it, even though you broke your norm. Thanks for the review!