Reviewer: Rainy2000
Date: 06/02/12 17:30
Chapter: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place

AMAZING!! please update! The suspense is killing me! Worthy of j.k Rowling

Reviewer: Rainy2000
Date: 06/01/12 19:38
Chapter: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English

This story is amazing! It's so captivating! Not all like any othe "Harry has a sister blah blah blah". Once you star you can't stop! Waiting eagerly for the next chapter!

Reviewer: HermionesLittleSister
Date: 02/29/12 4:28
Chapter: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place

I'm really enjoying this story! It can be confusing at times, but also kinda funny :)
Update soon!
-Livie

Author's Response: Thanks! I know it can be confusing, particularly the way I've dealt with merging then canon and alternate universes (this is what confuses most people, although of course I have no idea what specifically confuses you). Anyway, an update will come faster than they normally do.

Reviewer: LifeAtRandom
Date: 02/10/12 15:41
Chapter: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English

This story is very well done. It has a truly unique voice from anything I've read, Kata is interesting, and the humor is spot on. I laughed so hard at "What the hell is a Hufflepuff".

That being said, I have two criticisms to offer. First, from the very beginning of the story the tone feels very American instead of British. From the way they talk to the mention of American figures like Lincoln (I think Churchill's name would more likely be dropped).

Second, imo the story itself doesn't really fit within the Potter universe. It's tone is way too different from Rowling's world. I'm not saying that fic writers should always match Rowling's style, but I don't think it's a good idea to deviate to where the fic sounds so different it seems like you came up with a story from an entirely different genre and then awkwardly squeezed it into the Potter verse. It doesn't help that it's been more than several chapters and the only vague connection to canon has been a few mentions of Harry.

Anyway, that's just my opinion, it's the one huge problem that has kept me from really liking this story,

Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I fully agree with both criticisms-- I'm American, and I tend to think Americanly. The first five or six chapters show a lot of evidence of this, and then I think my British grammar improves a bit. As for the the story not fitting in the Potterverse, you're also right. In the future Kata-centric fics that I've considred writing (still thinking about whether I want to do this), there would be a very different tone and setting. When I originally planned the "series", I wanted TTTMTWGR to stand apart from the rest. But I promise that there are some magical connections coming shortly-- the plot does have to wrap up with Harry.

Reviewer: kathanater88
Date: 02/07/12 0:18
Chapter: Screws Fall Out All the Time; the World's an Imperfect Place

Hi Eva!

I just wanted to tell you that I think you're doing a fantastic job with this story. Kata's character is so well-rounded; like a true person. She is very human, and I think that is the basis of any good writing. So, keep up the good work! I also love her name- mostly because my name is Katha and when I was growing up everyone called me Kata :). Did you mention you made a Facebook for her, because I couldn't find it.
Anyway, cheers, really looking forward to the next bit, Don't be too long!

Katha

Author's Response: Hi, Katha! So great to hear from you, I love any and all feedback and I ALWAYS love hearing good things about Kata. The next chapter is definitely in the works, but it's very long and complicated, because I need to begin tying up loose ends... meh. Anyway, yeah, Kata has a Facebook-- I'm pretty sure she's registered as Katarine Potter. I have plans to use to Facebook for my plot-related things if I continue with the rest of the Kata "books", but for now it's just cute. Thanks again, and I'm working as fast as I can! -Eva

Reviewer: Ginnypotter2699
Date: 02/01/12 5:50
Chapter: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English

I just started liking AU so I might continue to read this. Anyway, I liked the first chapter. :)

Author's Response: Thanks! I encourage you to keep going, because the first few chapters were written a couple years ago, and the quality of the writing gets so much better.

Reviewer: Simply Being
Date: 06/28/11 10:16
Chapter: Aaron's Personality Flaws, and a Couple of Mine

Hello,

I’m back, reviewing for SPEW!

I really liked Kata’s opening discourse on magic. It not only works because its interesting to read and think about, but also continues to establish Kata as a three dimensional character. It shows her complex emotions regarding the subject and demonstrates the great insight that she has. Not only is Kata more fully formed for this, but she is also more realistic and human. This is how it works in real life, as people don’t usually have black and white feelings. I can tell that you’ve thought about Kata’s characterization and that you are trying to make her a fully human character, rather than a simple cardboard cutout.

Also, I know that I mentioned this in the first review, but I am put off by the American references. As a fellow American, I’m not an expert on this but I’m not sure if the British would have “Hello Kitty stickers” and “hot dogs”. The phrases “young grasshopper” and “crap” also stood out. I’ve also noticed a lack of British slang. I know how hard it is to try to write with British spelling and grammar, and especially how uncomfortable it is to include British colloquialisms. However, I find that simply slipping in a few “git”s or “prat”s can make all the difference. As I said, Americanisms can really distract a reader (especially a British reader) and take them out of the story.

Something else that seemed out of place was the mention of the diner with her friends. This raises several questions that aren’t given answers. I’m hoping that there will be an answer in the next few chapters. I don’t mind a slow developing story, but it is nagging at me. First, in the series it is hammered in over and over again that Harry doesn’t have any friends, any money, and is basically prevented from doing anything with the Dursleys. In the first few books he rarely leaves the house. Granted, by the fifth book he leaves without much argument from the Dursleys, but he usually just wanders aimlessly. So why does Kata have friends? Where does she get the money to go places? Are the Dursleys alright with her wandering around? I know this is an alternative universe story basically, so perhaps the Dursleys are more lenient. But I am very interesting to know why Kata has friends when Dudley clearly kept them away from Harry, and why she seems to have much more freedom than he has. Right now it isn’t a flaw in the story, but it will be if it isn’t adequately explained in future chapters.

That being said, I did like the new characters who were introduced. Their banter was sharp and witty, and reminded me of some of the funny and light-hearted moments in the series. Incorporating moments of humor into dramatic storylines lightens up the story and makes it a more interesting read.

Another aspect of note is Kata’s interest in religion. I was surprised at first, but it does make sense. She’s searching for answers as to where she belongs, and people often look towards religion for them. You’ve introduced another deeper aspect to the story, again making it a deeper and more interesting narrative.

While I like this new dimension and I hope you keep up with it, I feel like the story itself is slowing down a little. Maybe I’m used to the dramatic storylines of the series and in most fanfiction, but it feels a little slow. The assignment is interesting, but I worry that there isn’t enough action to keep the story’s momentum.

I also enjoyed the last lines. Mr. Millerton’s flower is a beautiful metaphor for Kata. It was very nicely phrased and I also liked Kata’s confusion about it. It helps remind readers that even though she is very quick-witted and insightful (such as her banter with Jeremy’s father, which appears advanced for a ten year old) she doesn’t have the answers to everything.

So in summary, I’m really enjoying the OC that you’ve created. She’s three dimensional and human, and she’s witty but sometimes rude. On the other hand, the Americanisms and unanswered questions take me out of the story. And while I appreciate character studies (Kata’s attempts to “find herself”, so to speak) the story definitely felt like it was slowing down. I hope that the plot picks up a little, as a full-length story that simply revolves around character studies can grow a bit weary.

Hope you found this helpful,
Danielle

Reviewer: Simply Being
Date: 06/23/11 14:11
Chapter: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English

Hello,
I’m Danielle and I’m reviewing this for SPEW, so here we go! I’m usually not into “Harry has a sibling” fics, but this one caught my eye.

You had a really, really strong opening (“Who told you that heroes have to be brave?” ). I’m a sucker for great opening lines, and this one was perfect. It caught my attention immediately. It’s a strong statement, and the paradox of it kept me reading.

“…and it’s been in my head ever since—like a scrap of a song you hear once, pouring from the windows of a passing car, but never again. I remember how the words touched me, how I grabbed for them with hands that had been desperately searching for something, anything, to grab. Her simple question, shattering the directives of everything I’d been raised to believe, seemed to glow; to shine like glass; golden as brandy.”

I love the imagery and metaphors contained within this paragraph. They aren’t overdone or cliché, and they’re beautifully phrased. Sometimes metaphors can be hollow, and they don’t quite ring true. This paragraph works so well because its insightful; it allows me to understand how Kata feels.

Now, this next bit is very interesting. I’ve never seen an author interject a character’s monologue to the readers in the story like this, and it’s very interesting that you set it apart in parenthesis. I think that this is actually very clever. Parentheses are reserved for little side notes and additions in writing, and that’s exactly what this monologue is. I’m glad you went for this instead of italics, they can be overused and usually make the reader think that the italicized passage is a flashback.

I have mixed feelings about Kata’s little introduction of herself. At first, when she began listing her qualities, it felt Mary-Sue to me. Mary-Sues are typically introduced in this fashion, such as, “Hi my name is Crystal Diamond Rainbow and I have shiny platinum blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, and everyone loves me.” However, when I reached the end of Kata’s little introduction I realized that this was not the case. It’s merely her quirkiness as a character. There are also a couple of phrases that I genuinely laughed at, for instance:

“…my hair is so unmanageable that if it does not try to kill me at least once every week, I grow suspicious that it may be planning something much more sinister.”

“On the list of ‘important people in this story’ Harry ranks in at number twenty-seven. I know. I have made such a list—for the record, I’m number three. But, to the point: if you’re looking for a story about a plucky, bespectacled young lad with “moral fiber” a scar that looks like Zorro screwed up his signature, then go somewhere else. This is the last time I’ll ever use the phrase ‘moral fiber’, unless I’m describing, 1. A breakfast cereal, 2. A really cool name for a band, or 3. Abraham Lincoln. Just thought I ought to clear that up. End of parenthetical rant.)”

These lines definitely made me laugh! Though very witty, as a small criticism it sounds much more American than British. I’m typically not big on Briticisms, but the references to Zorro and Abraham Lincoln seem distinctly American. I’m not an expert, but they stood out in a more negative way for me.

Moving on, this sentence blew me away:

“What you’re about to hear is only the first part of the very long, very complicated saga that is my life. Be warned, I will unabashedly bear all—you will see me break down, break apart, break bones, break hearts, be broken, and break through this hideous stigma that you need to be fearless to be important.”

Fantastic! Love the use of alliteration and play on words. Again, it really piqued my interest in the character and the ending statement (“you need to be fearless to be important”) is really intriguing. You have firmly established Kata as a witty and quirky girl, the kind of three-dimensional character whose virtues and flaws are equally endearing.

I did think that the next bit about Kata beginning her story was a bit unnecessary. I think that the story itself doesn’t need introduction, and it would be fine to launch right into it. Admittedly, I did skim over that bit a little. You built up great momentum with introducing Kata, and this slowed it down.

I found the exchange between Kata and her teacher amusing; it was both witty and helped establish her personality. She may not be the most obedient kid, but her sarcasm sure is funny. And though I love her witty humor, another problem arises with it. Kata is supposed to be ten. Much of this witty dialogue and advanced vocabulary seems advanced for her. I’m going to assume that she’s a kid with an extremely high IQ. However, it definitely feels unrealistic. While it’s not exactly fun to read a fic centered around dumb-as-a-rock characters, she doesn’t seem to be acting her age. I have an eleven year old sister who is still entertained by burp jokes. It’s quite a dilemma: on one hand, no one wants to read about an immature ten year old, but on the other, a ten year old this witty is very rare. Personally, I’d rather read about the latter and suspend reality.

I also ended up really liking the teacher when I didn’t expect to. He’s the right amount of inspirational and cheeky. I particularly enjoyed his characterization in this paragraph:

“Next year, you will all break apart,” Mr. Mendota began. “Some of you will stay in town, go to the upper school. Some of you will go away. In my class, I want to prepare you for the world. This is where you make a decision to learn. I want to see what you can do. What Alec can do. ” He gestured to the boy with the pudding-bowl haircut who enjoys sticking me with a pencil and hissing, Poke a Potter. “What Winnie can do.” Mr. Mendota waved a hand to Winnie, with her six little ringlet curls and eager mud-brown eyes. “What… er, Sherrie can do.”

The assignment is definitely interesting as well. I really enjoyed this character, and I’m excited to learn more about her and exactly how this whole “Harry has a sister” thing works. Good work!

-Danielle

Reviewer: georgeisholey
Date: 06/08/11 19:45
Chapter: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time

Well. This ten-year-old girl fascinates me. I can identify with her and sympathize with her "aloneness". Maybe that's because mentally, I am ten, or maybe it's because I'm essentially like her in personality. I have friends, but nobody really... gets me. Which is why I write. I really, really, REALLY love this story. It's funny, the characters are original, and your interpretation of Little Whinging and all its residents is wonderful. It's great! :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! A lot of people are saying they understand Kata, which is-- while a little unexpected-- absolutely fantastic. So keep reading; school's out in my neck of the woods and I've got a lot more time to write. Chapter 12 is coming soon :) ~*Eva*~

Reviewer: grangergirl35
Date: 06/07/11 11:52
Chapter: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time

Yah, this story is soooo freakin' amazing!! Keep writing, update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks! Chapter twelve is where the fun really starts (Teaser: the authorities get involved), so I'll do my best to get it up quicker than I usually do. Thanks for reading. ~*Eva*~

Reviewer: grangergirl35
Date: 06/06/11 22:56
Chapter: If You've Ever Listened to Anything I've Said, Now Is... Also a Good Time

What the he'll is a hufflepuff??

FIND :)

I think that second point earns the awesome mug?

Author's Response: Yes, indeed it does. I can't actually ask for you contact info, for various legal reasons that probably exist, but you get bragging rights. Congradualtions, and thanks for taking the time to read! :) ~*Eva*~

Reviewer: lunaginnypotterw
Date: 03/18/11 14:33
Chapter: More Complicated Feelings I SERIOUSLY Could Have Done Without

hahah i love ur story and im from the uk so yea theyr totaly real u a tree i was an elf and i fell of and rolled down the stairs and well i awoke on christmas day so yea i love the cliffhanger by the and also i love the names.

Reviewer: lunaginnypotterw
Date: 03/11/11 17:46
Chapter: If Only I Hadn't Slept Through English

ohhhhhh yea i was worring this wasen't HP fanfic but yayayayaya

Reviewer: dcdc
Date: 03/11/11 5:10
Chapter: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives

Another excellent chapter. Kata is a very intriguing character. I look forward to the next one.

Author's Response: She most certainly is. Thanks for your review! ~Eva~

Reviewer: Darkness Enshrouds
Date: 03/09/11 12:29
Chapter: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives

I wouldn't rewrite the first chapters, if I were you. They're wonderful, and I'm not just saying that to be nice. I really like this fic--I always glance over the 'most recent' section, and your title hooked me in, and once I read the description, I knew I had to read it...so glad I did!

Kata's amazing. I love her personality, especially that snarky-sarcastic streak she's got going. I totally understand her on that point, being a bit like that myself. I love the way you've intertwined bits from the actual books, but still from Kata's p.o.v.--it just proves how well this fic fits with the books. I love it :D. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Garsh, I'm smiling so big now, I feel like a dork... I just love reviews like that. The only reason I'm thinking about reworking the first few chapters is that-- because certain chapters have taken a while to be uploaded-- my writing style has changed a lot over the coarse of this story. Which I'm sure you noticed. But nothing would change, plot-wise, because I actually am going somewhere with all this nonsense... I swear I am... Kata's smiling, too. This is because she's ten, and doesn't understand the difference between 'that reader thinks I'm amazing' and 'I am the coolest thing in the universe'. :) My goal is to get chapter eleven up by the end of the month, so keep readin'! ~Eva~

Reviewer: Potterfan1996
Date: 03/08/11 5:06
Chapter: The Car Crashes and Broken Bones That Change Our Lives

Are you an AVPS fan??? 'Umbridge that book is a thousand years old, it still refers to Dementors as Ringwraiths' Anyway I love the story please review soon
Potterfan1996

Author's Response: Haha, I'm a huge fan of both AVPM and AVPS, but Kata's "Great Ringwraiths vs. Dementors Debate of '93" is an actual thing that I've written in her third book. Being a Lord of the Rings fan, she's going to go through a lot of mix-ups in her wizarding adventures...Mix-ups that will make sense to no one but her. There is an AVPS reference in the next chapter, though... so keep reading, hopefully I'll have that one up within the next few weeks. Thanks for your review! ~Eva~

Reviewer: dcdc
Date: 08/14/10 4:34
Chapter: Memoirs of The Girl Who Technically Lived

I'm enjoying this. Keep writing!

Reviewer: zolly
Date: 07/25/10 13:09
Chapter: I Can Do Whatever I Want Like You

I know I'm not finished reading yet, but I'm already dreading getting to the end of the story and having to wait for an update! Please update soon!!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for your review :) I'm so impressed with your enthusiasm, particuraly because, at this point, you've only read through chapter five, and I am positively embarrassed of my writing in those. Ugh. Hahaha, it gets better. I promise. Keep reading, chapter ten is on its way!

Reviewer: harrypottergurl
Date: 06/08/10 20:54
Chapter: Things That Happen When I Swallow Peanuts and Read Letters

I hope you update soon. I want to know what happens to Kata.

Author's Response: I'm working on it. :) Chapter nine is all flashbacks to what happened to Kata in the summer, and it's a bit hard to get her where she needs to be when I'm also trying to maintain the canon aspects of the story by getting Harry where HE needs to be. It'll be up fairly soon, though. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Maggie Bee
Date: 04/30/10 9:03
Chapter: Things That Happen When I Swallow Peanuts and Read Letters

I love you! (I thought I should get my declaration out of the way before I start the serious process of reviewing.
Thank you for the gift that is this chapter - and I'm sorry your year hasn't been so great.
On to the chapter! In fact, I read it last night, but I figured I needed a night to digest and give you a (semi-) coherent review.
I loved the insight in to Mr Mendota - who is by far one of my favourite characters ever. His determination to know Kata makes a lot more sense now, and I swear my heart broke at the end when he just... crumpled. Every chapter, I swear, just draws me in more - with those little things about Kata and her personality and why she is the way she is (the peanut thing is GENIUS by the way, and very her, if that makes any sense) and the people who do care about her even when she can't see it.
I love Jeremy - the whole "swearing to be cool" thing at that age is so real, and I'm pretty impressed that you put it in. Well, I'll be honest, I'm impressed with the whole thing, but I really do love Jeremy. I like the idea that Kata does have friends (unlike Harry, because of the whole Dudley thang), or at least friend, who'l come to see her in the rain and bring her potato-noodle casserole and tell her she's full of bullshit when she needs them to. She needs a Jeremy, definitely.
I'm almost sad that Kata wasn't in the Winter Exhibition -just because she would have been amazing (at raising and closing the curtain? hmm...). But her sleeping through the day (and then getting up and charging off to turn up anyway) is, obviously, so much better. "Invincibility was drawn around me like a winter coat" - that pretty much sums her up, hmm? A little deluded, but brave as hell.
And the change in Harry's handwriting affecting her that badly was just so... sweet, I suppose. I love how close they are (not in a "tell each other everything" way, but in a "we have no one else, and I'm going to be a part of your life, dammit" way) and how much she misses him, but is jealous of him too (because, she's not exactly a saint is she? Who wouldn't be jealous?).
So thank you for this chapter, and for ALREADY HAVING STARTED THE NEXT! (Thanks. Seriously)
And I'm glad I could, um, help spur you on? Well, if you ever need positive reinforcement that this story is amazing (as is your writing) and that people love it, I'm your man. Or girl. Whatever.
Maggie.
(By the way, sorry about how long these reviews are. I just get all “rambly” when it comes to this. I’ll work on it.)

Author's Response: I did it! Gah. After six months, I finally got the chapter up. So, thanks for being my first reviwer, and basically dissecting my chapter to complement me on EVERYTHING. It's a great thing though, totally great. Every writer needs it. Your descripton of Kata and Harry is VERY accurate. They don't do the whole heart-to-heart brother and sister thing, but I would say they're closer than most siblings. Obviously, he's very protective, and as a result underestimates her-- which, of course, annoys her to no end. She's also extremely jealous of him now, understandably. But he's probably more of a best friend than either Jilly or Jeremy. Speakin' of OCs.... Mr. Mendota! God, I love this guy. He's fun to write, and I'm glad you like him so much. I didn't mean to make him so tragic, but I worry that people will question his relationahip with Kata if I don't give him a back story. Lastly, I just have to say that you're right: Kata's curtain skills WOULD have made an amazing addition to the Winter Exhibiton. She can't ast, she can't sing, but she can close a curtain like no other. :) So... yeah. You're amazing for reviewing me, thanks so much! Expect a chapter in a few weeks, and I mean it this time! Hahaha... you'll finally get to see what happened in Kata's summer. Yu know how she is normally? Imagine that in Diagon Alley. I suddenly feel evil.... ~*Eva*~

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