Reviews For Snuffed
Reviewer: Sianehta
Date: 10/08/10 13:55
Chapter: Flame

This story was great! I hadn't read any Fleur/Charlie stories before, but I loved it!

Reviewer: h_vic
Date: 07/20/10 17:33
Chapter: Flame

I'm an absolute sucker for any fic featuring candles in any way, and reading this story just made me squee so much, Kelly dear, because you use the metaphor so perfectly throughout.

I love the balance of it – you've really made the non-linear structure flow effortlessly from scene to scene and it works to slowly reveal the story and alter mood from the fun sexiness of the start through to the bitter brokenness of the ending.

I've read a fair few Charlie/Fleur stories, but they have always involved Fleur being unfaithful to Bill. It's such an interesting and original premise to switch it around so that it's Bill stealing her away.

I think you've found a great, characterisation of Charlie. Although, we know Ron is jealous of his brothers, it had never occurred to me before that Charlie too, even as the second eldest with his own impressive achievements, might resent Bill for being perfect and always getting there first. It makes perfect sense though.

In the first section in which he is alone brooding in particular, the narrative voice you create for him really shines through. There's a sort of casual, everyman bluntness about him that really suits him, like here:

Now those, those were the days.

Those were the days when a bloke could expect his girlfriend to be a devoted person who would be there at the end of the day, preferably in a good mood.

I think the snide and moody little fragments like, Stupid Bill. similarly work very well, especially in the way that their slight childishness really serves to re-emphasise the sibling rivalry element.

I think that perhaps gets lost a little in the latter stages of that section though, where there are lines like:

Bill had taken away the light in his life, leaving Charlie in the darkness.

Every time he remembered it, it was like there was a guttering light that just might live again, but every time, every single time, it always died.

These bits don't to me have that same authentic Charlie 'voice' that the earlier narrative has, and instead have the more poetic feel of an omniscient narrator. I'm torn though, because although I slightly feel that change of 'voice' disrupts the flow of the story, I also think those lines are amongst the most beautiful in the fic. Regardless, you have a really compelling turn of phrase, dear, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.


Reviewer: Dory_the_Fishie
Date: 10/31/09 21:55
Chapter: Flame

I don’t read a lot of fics about Charlie, or about Bill, or about Fleur. I’ve certainly seen the idea of Charlie/Fleur done before, and of course there are plenty of Bill/Fleur fics out there, but I think what’s always put me a big off them is that I’ve never particularly liked Fleur. But for some reason I wanted to read this fic, and I’m so glad I did, because it was wonderful.

One of the things that I really like about this is that it could fit into canon. We don’t know what Fleur was doing before she was off at Gringotts “improving her English,” and we don’t really know what Charlie was doing aside from working with dragons. You put an AU warning on this, which is probably wise lest someone comes running at you proclaiming inaccuracy, but really, why couldn’t this have happened? Who’s to say Bill didn’t take Fleur away from Charlie?

It’s always saddened me a bit by how little screen time Charlie gets in the books compared to the other Weasleys. Even Bill, who is older and therefore not around as much, seems to have that closer connection to everyone else (especially since in DH the trio stayed at his house). I think that makes this fic work even better. Charlie seems so out of the picture, so removed, almost. He seems alone, really, because we don’t know of any girlfriends that he’s had. Pairing him with Fleur and then taking Fleur away from him – it’s so sad, but it almost seems like of course that would happen. I liked this line: Bill always had to have everything – the looks, the popularity, the perfect OWL scores, and apparently, the pretty girlfriend. Sure, Charlie’s probably exaggerating a bit in his anger, but on the surface, it does seem like Bill sort of gets everything.

I absolutely love the candle metaphor in this (the title is so great, too). Just the idea of light and Fleur being Charlie’s light and all of that – it’s really great. And, you brought more to that by mentioning how Fleur literally brought light to Charlie with the candles. Charlie thinking about Fleur lighting candles at Bill’s place – it was so sad, but it was still so good. I like also that Fleur leaves in the middle of night. She leaves at a time of darkness, and it’s her leaving that plunges Charlie into darkness. You know, light and dark imagery or theme or whatever can seem so overdone sometimes, even clichéd, but here I just thought it worked perfectly.

Overall, dearest Kelly, I thought you did an excellent job with this missing moment of sorts. Everything was spot-on. Please continue to be awesome.

Author's Response: Thank you, Leanne, for being awesome at leaving reviews.

Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist
Date: 07/24/09 20:41
Chapter: Flame

Awesome little behind-the-scenes story, even if it is kind of depressing. But you know, in a good way.

Author's Response: But, of course! Thank you very much.

Reviewer: Cirelondiel
Date: 06/30/09 2:21
Chapter: Flame

Ooh, Kelly, a very interesting little one-shot you have here.

The thing that really stood out to me was the way you made the prompt your own. I adore the use of the candle to represent light and a flame, and the simple yet very effective title. I wouldn’t have thought to make such a dark story out of the quote, but with the pairing you chose it works well, fitting into the canon timeline and putting an interesting new spin on the dynamic between Bill and Charlie. And the fact that we know from JKR that Charlie never marries comes into play in my interpretation of this fic, making your story all the more sad. I love little fics like this - fics that explore possibilities that are never hinted at in canon, but could well fit into the story we know and love.

In the opening flashback, your language instantly painted a picture of a saucy, flirty Fleur, so different to the devoted, maternal one we see at the end of HBP. This Fleur really seems to suit Charlie, from what we know of him as a man seeking adventure and excitement. And later, when Charlie thinks of all the little things that Bill has taken from him (… the laughter and silly teasing…), we see again that the things he’s looking for in a relationship are warmth, fun, happiness. Bill, of course, is presented in a different light to in canon, but he’s not OOC. In fact, it’s believable that he would be used to having everything.

The only aspect of this story that I think could have been improved is that it seemed to end too suddenly (and I’m not just saying that because I wanted to read more :D). Perhaps if some of the second section had been included in the last section the story would have been more balanced overall. [Then again, despite what I said before, perhaps hearing Bill or Fleur’s side of the story would also help to finish off this story, answering some of those unanswered questions which are taunting me and Charlie – how could they do that to him? ;)]

Overall, though, this was a great story which presents characters in original but believable ways. If you ever happen to write more about this love triangle, do let me know!

-- Chelsea

Author's Response: Oh, writing Bill's side of this would be awfully fun. I'll put it on the list of things to think about, definitely. You know, it's actually kind of funny that you mention my prompt. I kind of glanced at it, wrote the story, and then took a better look at it and figured that I misinterpreted. But as I didn't have time to rewrite, I just submitted it as it was. I'm glad that you thought that the interpretation was alright. XD Thank you for the lovely review!

Reviewer: Storytellerdoll
Date: 06/17/09 11:26
Chapter: Flame

Wow, thanks for writing this! It is so cool to know how Bill and Fleur came to be... even if this is just fan "fiction." Great writing, by the way; keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks a lot for the comments!

Reviewer: delirioustk
Date: 06/02/09 12:57
Chapter: Flame

ahh, i have a feeling i'll love this story!~ no, wait...i already do. silly me. your review was great! totally reeled me in. :) and your opening, esp the first line of the 2nd paragraph, "now those, those were the days" -- somehow, reading that made me grin and i decided that i was going to love reading this and i did! :)))

of course, ur 100% responsible for taking me away from my study time..haha..but what a delightful study break it was. i can't wait for more, please hurry~~

Author's Response: Thanks again! XD

Reviewer: delirioustk
Date: 06/02/09 12:57
Chapter: Flame

ahh, i have a feeling i'll love this story!~ no, wait...i already do. silly me. your review was great! totally reeled me in. :) and your opening, esp the first line of the 2nd paragraph, "now those, those were the days" -- somehow, reading that made me grin and i decided that i was going to love reading this and i did! :)))

of course, ur 100% responsible for taking me away from my study time..haha..but what a delightful study break it was. i can't wait for more, please hurry~~

Author's Response: Study breaks are always good! Thank you for the review, but I hate to disappoint and say that this is and will remain a one-shot. Sorry!

Reviewer: Sunny_Rainbow
Date: 06/01/09 16:41
Chapter: Flame

Wow that was good. Is it a one shot or will there be more? I liked it. Poor poor Charlie!

Author's Response: I'm afraid that this is it - it's only a one-shot. I'm glad that you enjoyed it, though.

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