Very interesting chapter, once again. I loved finding out that little bit more about this girl and her multiple personalities.
The only problem I have with this story is that the chapters are extremely short; you only give your readers little snippets of the story in one go. I feel that is disrupts our learning about the characters. This is about the only flaw, however.
I enjoyed the first little hint at the magical world in this chapter, by mentioning squibs. I find myself wondering if all her personalities are connected to the wizarding world, or if some have pushed that aside and are entirely non-magical? I guess I'll have to wait and see.
You're throwing at us these very dark concepts, such as Regan being extremely violent and smashing a girl's head at the wall. It's confronting, but handled well enough that it doesn't overwhelm the reader. So great job on a really interesting way of writing those darker themes.
This woman you're presenting now, Meredith, is strikingly well-developed, given that there have only been two short chapters on her. I feel a bit of a connection to her already, and am shocked by her attitude towards emotional/physical abuse. She's got a story that I'd love to hear.
The most part of this chapter is dialogue, and, not that the dialogue is bad at all, I feel that longer chapters could allow you to do more. Of course you don't have to do this - I quite enjoy a quick read - but I do feel there could be just that little bit more included to help readers connect more with the story.
Overall, a really well developed character in an intriguing story. Keep up the great work. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I am working on writing longer chapters. Meredith is usually the alter that in cases of MPD I find is most sad because it is the part of the person that believes that the abuse is their fault. Regan is the part that is created to deal with the anger, to keep the body from continuing to get hurt, and to kill the abuser. I have now got a beta *yay*!
Woooooooooooowwwww.......the plot thickens, huh? This is going on my favorites.
Author's Response: Thank you for adding me to your favorites! :D
good conversation. believable so far.
Author's Response: Thank you very much!