I loved this; it was absolutely beautiful! :)
It's wonderfully written. I could almost feel the butterflies in my stomach. Nicely done :)
This is one of the most fabulous fics i have read! I love it from beginning to end...i love its cuteness and romance! its AMAZING! :)
A heart warming story, well written...congratulations
My favorite Harry/Ginny story yet!! It was wonderful! Wish it was longer!!! You are my favorite fanfic author out here!!! =] Thank you for the amazing story!
Author's Response: Why thank you!! And thank you so much for the read and review!! ~Amanda
I’m reviewing for SPEW!
I really enjoyed this story. I had a hankering for some Harry/Ginny, and this definitely quenched it. I always appreciate these little “missing moments” in fanfiction.
First, I’ll comment on the use of second person. To be honest, I typically go either way with it. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. While I really enjoyed this one, I don’t think that the second person helped it. It didn’t necessarily hurt it, but I would have preferred first or third person. I appreciate authors who try to do something different, but I always find that second person can be distracting except on rare occasions. Second person is usually meant to make the fic more intimate…but I felt that the fic was intimate enough already. I did like that you really delved into Ginny’s emotions, so to add second person on top of that felt a bit overkill. Mind you, I still enjoyed it and think that you are a very talented writer. I just felt a little alienated by the second person choice.
Second, I thought that you did a great job with characterization. Both Ginny and Harry were wonderfully written. I think that you really captured Ginny, while still adding more dimension than we get to see in the books. You still depict her as the brash girl who isn’t afraid to run around the castle after hours—but you also touch on her fears and insecurities. I think that you struck a nice balance in her characterization; she wasn’t overkill fierce but she wasn’t too sentimental. At first I was a bit wary about Hermione and Ginny walking to breakfast—I usually find it overkill when Ginny and Hermione suddenly become best friends in fanficiton—but upon rereading I definitely think it worked. Now that Ginny was meeting Harry every morning for breakfast, why shouldn’t she walk with Hermione, who would also be meeting Harry? And I also like that you added “Although Hermione is someone you wouldn't mind talking with”. The phrase “wouldn’t mind” makes it clear that she isn’t suddenly revealing all her deepest darkest secrets with Hermione. Sorry if this seems like a small nitpick, but I think it’s great that you avoided the “Ginny and Hermione are BFFs” cliché while showing that they are friends.
To further comment on your characterization of Ginny, I liked the diction you used in describing her. There are certain words that pop into mind when you think of Ginny (like fiery, for instance) but you avoided these clichéd choices and still managed to use diction that fit Ginny. I particularly liked when you described her “roguish” wink…it conveys her bold personality.
I equally enjoyed Harry’s characterization. Appropriately, you depict him torn between his desperation to enjoy a moment of happiness and his despair at what lies ahead.
Another aspect of this fic that I was intrigued by was your stream of consciousness style narrative. Your writing is beautiful, and I loved how all of the emotions seemed to together but still remained clear and concise. On the negative side, I felt that some sentences were a bit overlong. They weren’t exactly run-ons, but I think it would have been better to through in a few choppy sentences. Varied sentence structure (such as using a mixture of compound, complex, and simples sentences) really gives a fic more depth. I think it would have improved the narrative if you had broken up a few of the sentences, as many of them are quite long.
Finally, I absolutely adored the last two paragraphs. They were simultaneously bursting with emotion while remain succinct and concise. Very poetic! I love that you expressed Ginny’s conflicting feelings in the last two sentences with so much beauty and power.
Overall, I found this fic very enjoyable and satisfying. The writing was beautiful and the characterization was impeccable. Great job, and I hope you found this review helpful!
Author's Response: Hello!! First, I'm so so sorry for the late reply, because this review is fabulous and made me melt. I do understand where you are coming from concerning the second-person POV, from the intimacy thing. I think I was also going for a hidden, secretive feel- like there were moments between Ginny and Harry that no one else would ever know about, and that was very thrilling and special for her, so while the story was H/G, it was more about Ginny, and the 2nd POV helped make people understand how she was able to just let him go at the funeral...does that make sense? That being said, I do like it in that POV. I still very much like it myself, and if you like re-reading your own stories, then that's not too shabby. I'm glad you picked up on the Hermione/Ginny friendship, because I was going for exactly what you described in as few words as possible. I feel like Hermione and Ginny would naturally become friends based on their feelings on Harry/Ron- it wouldn't be a given, and they might not be BFFs, but they are hanging out at the Weasley house all summer as the only girls, and they share a room together. So once Ginny starts seeing Harry, I had this image of Ginny kind of...warming up more to Hermione? Not super best friends!, but as a foursome they'd hang out more. As much as I love Ginny, I find her terribly hard to write sometimes, so thank you for the compliments on the characterization! As you did point out, it was a bit stream of consciousness on purpose, so maybe in places I got too carried away with it. I wrote the entire thing just to get to the last 2 paragraphs, lol. So I'm glad they were what I hoped they would be and got the emotion across. Thank you so much for the read and review!! ~Amanda
I liked it! Second person almost always pulls the reader in and makes it feel so much more immediately. Given that this is also present tense, I thought it was very effective to experience and feel what Ginny was doing at the time. It just wouldn't read the same as first person or in past tense.
It's lovely to think that they did have these brief moments of happiness during sixth year, before they broke up. The end was wonderful - very mature and profound. Lovely fic, Amanda!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: OMG OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER RESPONDED TO THIS This is one of the first stories I ever wrote- and I didn't plan on writing it in second person, it just happened that way. Which is ultimately why I think it worked, because it just kind of flowed out of me for the scene I was trying to write rather than my trying to shove second person into a scene, if that makes sense. In my own head canon, they have lots of these little "dates" and times alone for poor Harry to be normal- for his life to seem like "someone else's" when he breaks up with her. Thanks for the read and review! <3 ~Amanda
Simply beautiful! Personally I love fics in second person, but when they're not written well sometimes they don't work so well, but this was just so effective, I can't imagine this story from any other perspective.
Your characterisation of Harry and Ginny was just perfect... I could see this scene happening in my mind's eye and it worked so well.
I also loved that the last line of dialogue was the only speech you used in the fic - it showed that Harry and Ginny know each other so well that they don't particularly have to talk to enjoy each other. And it really added to the "moment".
Anyway, beautiful fic!
Author's Response: OMG I didn't realize I had never responded to this!! I know a lot of people are hesitant about 2nd POV, myself being one of them, and I haven't written anything else in it since- this just started in that and seemed so natural for some reason. So, thank you! I love H/G myself, so I'm glad that you think my characterization was good! I wrote everything in the beginning just to get to that last part. :) Thanks for the read/review! ~Amanda
I thought it was a really good story. I usually hate 2nd person, but this story and another one on a different website, SIYE, proved me wrong. I loved the POV and the playfulness and the restriction. Overall, a really good one-shot. :)
Author's Response: The playfulness but fleetingness was what I was going for, so I'm glad that came across. Thank you so much for the read, and for the review! ~Amanda
not too great!
i love it!!!!!!!! so cute!
Author's Response: :) Thank you!
That was totally AMAZING!!!!
:D I'm really glad you liked it. Thank you for the read and review!
That was totally AMAZING!!!!
Author's Response: Why thank you!! And thank you for the read and review! ~Amanda
That was totally AMAZING!!!!
Author's Response: *beams* Thank you! ~Amanda
that was awesome. and very sweet. i loved it and your an inspiration to me.
Wow! Thank you so much for the extremely kind words, the read, and the review!
All and all a very sweet story.
Author's Response: Why, thank you very much. :) ~Amanda
Author's Response: Why, thank you! And thank you for the read and review! ~Amanda
Nice one, Amanda!
Ginny was so in character – bold and mischievous. She is obviously as reckless as Harry. Lol! Harry was a surprise though…ah! Who would have thought he would turn out so – romantic? Or maybe, we all knew that somewhere deep down, but never really gave it a thought, eh?
I suppose this is one of those “stolen hours” Harry was thinking about in DH. ;) I like you you have tied in the two fundamental aspects of their relationship in this one shot. One, yes, they are very much in love. Two, they may not be together always – in fact, they may be together only for a short time.
But for now, let those shackles be forgotten. The night indeed is young…
!!! AAAHH!! I can't believe I didn't responsd to this! *Hangs head in shame.
Anyways, thank you for the lovely review. I adore Ginny, she is one of my favorite characters...and one of those I have trouble writing for some reason. I'm glad you thought she was IC. And I think that Harry is a different person with her, and like most men, isn't always articulate with words. But that he knows he feels something for her and that he wants to tell her that somehow. And that the feels that time is short as well...
*blushes* Anyway, thank you!
And love the POV, btw.
Author's Response: *Blushes again* I am so happy that you came over to read this story. It was my first venture at 2nd person, and I am glad you loved it!
great, the ending, had me almost crying
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! And thank you for the read and the review!