OOOh, interesting. I like the notion that it's Peter's idea to start the map, and then James expands on it (most brilliantly - ahh, you have to love Prongs). I would like you to expand on this because I think you've left a lot unanswered - Remus and the books for instance - there's a lot of potential there. Also James just starting to be interested in Lily, nicely worked into the story. Great job, Kara.
Kara, I loved this. It was interesting, as it was really Peter-and Remus- who thought of the map. Sirius loved the idea, and James thought of the tracing part, and they probably helped creating it a big deal, but they were not the ones to actually come up with it. I liked how you portrayed the Marauders- Peter was not pushed into the background, Remus was not the know-it-all, and James was not all too arrogant. He also did not proclaim his love for Lily at the first possible moment, which I liked a lot. I also liked Sirius-he was so... Padfoot-y, if you know what I mean.
Great job! Andi :D
Kara, I really enjoyed this story overall. I loved what Remus had to say about escaping into the world of a novel for a time -- that's exactly how I feel about reading fiction. It was also really neat that you gave Peter the credit for the idea of the Marauders Map. He's usually so underestimated in fanfiction, and I'm so glad that you showed that he may have contributed some to the Marauders' plans.
However, I didn't feel like the two parts of the story fit together too well. It felt like you put together two drabbles together (one about Remus talking to James about books and one about Peter's idea) to make a piece long enough to submit to MNFF. I liked both parts, but they just didn't feel relevant to each other.
I really like this story. Great job Kara! It would be cool if you continued it sometime. I hope you do!
That was really good :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
I like this story.
I love how you delve more into Remus's character, and that Peter (gasp!) is the one that comes up with the idea. I think this is well characterized, well written, and if you ever wrote a WIP about this, I'll read it. :-)
Nice One.
H_T.
Author's Response: Oh I feel so bad that I'm only replying to this review now... Thank you so much for it – especially as you were really quick :DI'm really glad that you liked Remus and Peter, and that Peter didn't seem too over the top. Thanks again!
