Sorry I had to delete my first review, it only posted half of it for some reason? /stupid Esme
Ari, there is only one word to describe this fic. Beautiful.
The imagery that your words conjure up is truly amazing, this story has just become one of my favourites ever on MNFF just because of the beautiful description. People tell me I am good at description, but I don’t have a patch on you. I honestly felt as though I was standing right in that forest thinking about all the past Septembers and what September means.
Your characterisation of Sirius is just
Oh wow Ari I love this! I can’t believe you only have one review, either.
Your descriptions throughout the whole story are wonderful, and the images you conjure are fantastic, I can really smell, see and feel the autumn.
It’s a really believable insight into what the first Order would have been like, with the fear and having to check the surroundings and changing locations every so often, you’ve done a really good job. And with Sirius’s feeling towards everything too, it’s such a stark contrast from what Septembers were like at Hogwarts, and I love how you likened his years there to a game that he controlled. Now, he may be playing a game, but he certainly isn’t the one in charge.
The mood throughout is incredible, and I love the repetition of certain words like ‘waiting’ and ‘September’, it really adds to the tense and difficult surroundings.
One thing though, (and I’m Brit picking here) ‘middle of Anywhere, England’. Adding the comma then the country is a very American thing to do, Brits don’t say ‘Birmingham, England,’ or ‘Swansea, Wales’. It would be ‘Birmingham in England,’ if we would add it at all. I assume that the comma, country (or state) originates from there being so many places with the same name in America. Oh, and it’s a garden not a yard. Yards are in farms or stables.
But apart from that, I really loved it.
"He'd rather trade with another his life than trade with them his September..."
*flails from the perfection of this line*