You know, these two could have been in love with each other, we just didn't put any though into it except you. Now that I think of it, I will always see them as brothers. They love each other like brothers, but I like your thought on it too! Nice story!(: Now I'm going to read your haiku's...(:
I don’t think I’ve ever read a story from Goyle’s POV before, but I must say I think you did an absolutely fabulous job with it. The words and thoughts were simplistic, but that didn’t draw away from the powerful emotions Goyle felt. Your prose mirrored Goyle’s personality so well. Usually, I find that when stories are told from first person it leaves extra room for OOC-ness, but I didn’t see that at all with your story. It was clearly Goyle, but what I really liked is that you added some other aspects to him to make him a much more deep character. Details like his hidden feelings for Crabbe really made this an interesting read.
In the books, it is very difficult to differentiate between Crabbe and Goyle, as they are both seen as Malfoy’s sidekicks. That being said, what I loved about this story is you managed to show the disparity between them as well as link them together in their similarities in several instances. I loved this line: That’s how we were different. Torture, yes. Murder, no. I believed that we had to put them in their place, but I wasn’t ready to kill them. I believed in slavery; they could do all of the jobs that we pure-bloods don’t want to do. But Crabbe, he wanted them gone for good.” We really only see Crabbe’s burst of cruelty in the Room of Requirement in book seven, and I like how you were able to show that Goyle didn’t necessarily feel the same way.
I really like your subtle use of the Goyle/Crabbe ship in reference to Goyle’s immense grief. It wasn’t overplayed — Goyle didn’t suddenly turn into a sappy, love-struck mess — but in its own way it was sweet and true and believable, which is saying something considering the thought of Goyle/Crabbe would have made me sick before reading this. I love how you were able to portray the (possibly) one-sided romance through Goyle’s eyes; you showed brilliantly how Goyle would view romance, as opposed to another character in the Potter universe. It was a really interesting take, and it amazed me how you were still able to keep Goyle so in character.
Lastly, I love how you’ve shown Goyle’s progression into his own person. Crabbe’s death really did force him to confront the differences between them, and make him realize that he is not as vicious as his best friend. From his dying respect and friendship with Malfoy to his grudging acceptance that Muggleborns are being accepted by the rest of society, you’ve done a great job showing Goyle’s changes as he grows older while still maintaining his core character.
Very artfully written—and I think it worked well as a shorter piece.
Hi there, SPEW buddy!
You’ve chosen a very looked-over character for which to paint an intimate portrait. Goyle isn’t exactly what one would call a thinker, but in Azkaban, there would probably not been much to do other than that.
At first, I was a little put off with the repetition of certain things, such as: ‘The inside of the room was cluttered; it was a surprise that he found his project every time. It was a surprise that he didn’t get lost.’ However, when I read over it again, I looked at it from a different perspective. When I talk things out with myself, which is much like thinking aloud, I suppose, I do tend to repeat myself. Now, when I see it as a personal mental narrative instead of just a regular narrative, it makes much more sense to me.
I really like your use of simple words and phrases. Goyle is the furthest from a genius that one can get, so making him sound loquacious instead of simple in his words would have been disingenuous.
To be honest, I myself always pictured things going on between Crabbe and Goyle. Even after they ditched Malfoy, they still spent a majority of their time with one another during their seventh year. Either they were the best of friends or they were just a bit more than that. I personally don’t have the cojones to write about it, but I think you did so beautifully. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen another Crabbe/Goyle story, so we can add unique to the list of pluses to this story.
I think one of my favourite aspects of the story was when Goyle, instead of being grateful that the ‘Gryffindors’ saved his life, he wondered why they couldn’t save Crabbe, too. It just shows that he really did care about Crabbe as much as he cared about himself. I like to think that everyone, no matter how evil they seem, has a shred of decency inside. I really love how you bring forth Goyle’s. He loved another human being as much as himself, and that’s a step in the right direction for his recovery after Azkaban.
Another thing I really like is how you separated Crabbe and Goyle in terms of their relative cruelty. To me, it’s interesting to see them not put in the same thought or in the same breath. Crabbe is the cruel, slightly sadistic one, whereas Goyle is more passive and less inclined to kill. To most, they’re basically interchangeable characters, but I adore the fact that you made them individual. This site could use more Crabbe and/or Goyle stories.
I do have a consistency nitpick. Toward the beginning, you note that the Dark Lord had sent them all to guard the diadem, but in DH, they followed Harry and company into the RoR to bring him to Voldemort. They had no idea what a ‘die-dum’ was or whether it held any real significance. Draco was the only one who noted that the diadem would hold importance if the Trio was looking for it at a time like that. Perhaps, with a minor bit of editing, that could be fixed for canon compliance, which I assume what you’re aiming for.
All in all, I really loved this story. You took a first person POV piece and you made it pensive, not ponderous. It wasn’t angsty or whiny; it was honest and full of all the right questions for someone like Goyle to ask of himself and of the universe. Very well done, and I’m glad I picked this story of yours to read.
Take care and happy writing,
Hi there Alyssa!
I read this fic some days ago, and I was planning to leave a review, but I didn’t want it to be a “OMG that was totally awesome!!1” kind of review, so I waited. ;)
I loved this fic, and ended up surprising myself because, now, who really likes Crabbe and Goyle? So, I guess that’s where I’ll start my review. Your choice of characters had a refreshing novelty about it. I think us fanfiction authors need to explore more, give the minor characters their share of the limelight. And, actually, that’s where the bigger challenge lies. You have these two characters whose history we know almost nothing of – apart from being Malfoy’s sidekicks, and Voldemort’s hounds, who are Crabbe and Goyle? We tend to see them as twin human gargoyles, while forgetting that they are humans, hence, they are unique in their own way.
And you succeeded. You showed the basic difference between Crabbe and Goyle. Crabbe relished cruelty, he was prepared for murder – Goyle, not so much. While almost all readers are aware of that fact, how many of us are willing to write a story on that? Very, very few of us. But you took the theme in your stride, and wrote a really great one-shot. There was nothing over-the-top or far-fetched about it. In fact, the blunt honesty with which Goyle expresses his feelings and uncertainties lent it credibility. I can very much picture Goyle liking Crabbe that way. I’m convinced.
I like to think that the secret of your success here is how you handled the characters. They are so much in character, yet you added another dimension to them, and that addition was done with so much tact:
“When I was serving my time in Azkaban, the only thing that kept me sane was the thought that I could have it worse. I could be dead. Like Vincent. I had to stay strong so I wouldn’t ruin my life. Since he was dead, I needed to do the living for the both of us. I couldn’t do that if I was insane.”
I really liked that part. Goyle was not such a fool, after all. And I loved the ending, I did. It’s a terse four lines, but the bitterness, the disillusionment, the regret, even the optimism – everything has been blended so well.
My only nitpick is that it’s “Fiendfyre,” not “Fiend Fire.” But since it’s dear ol’ Gregory Goyle, I’m willing to let it slip.
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, Natalie, thank you so much! I'm glad that you think I succeeded with the characterization of them. I was so scared that it was going to be off. I'm so happy that you said that. It took a big weight off of my shoulders. I'm glad that you liked the ending. I always try to have a good ending to my stories, so I'm glad that it worked. On the nitpick - how could I miss that?!? I had the book open the whole time I write this! Thank you so much for pointing it out. I'll have to change it sometime soon. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!
These are two boys in the Potter series that you don't hear much from.. They're mostly in with Malfoy, and don't say much...Not much is known about them. The fact that Crabbe and Goyle were lackeys to Malfoy, makes them more like Draco, but Vincent stood up to Draco and told it like it was...He was a brave kid.
Thanks for the insight into these two Malfoy misfits.
Author's Response: You are very welcome! I don't know how true it was, but thanks nonetheless! Thanks for the review.
I loved it, Alyssa! Great idea, too! Torture, yes. Murder, no haha, he can be cruel, even when he is ... good in this, sorta.
Author's Response: Thank you, Andi! Thanks for the review!