Reviews For Trapped
Reviewer: FawkesToTheRescue
Date: 09/17/10 20:48
Chapter: Trapped

(by the way, in my other review i mean "obliviate. sorry about that )

*Norberta*

Author's Response: I figured that was it. :) Thanks again!

Reviewer: FawkesToTheRescue
Date: 09/17/10 20:44
Chapter: Trapped

To all of us, the thought of Hermione killing someone is too absurd to consider. But what would she do in a situation like this? I think you have the exact right idea here. Congratulations.

I think this story was very well written, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You have all the details and the characterization spot on.

I'm not quite sure whether an "Oblivious" as simple as that would have done the job. We know that's a memory wiping spell, I'm not doubting that. However, what I don't know is whether or not it would be as simple as that. Say something wrong and then simply say the word and their memory goes away? Why doesn't that happen more often then? Something just seems fuzzy there. Just something to consider.

I liked this story. It was realistic and a joy to read. Very nicely done. Thank you.

*Norberta*

Author's Response: Hi there! Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your kind words, especially about characterization. I think this is exactly how Hermione might have reacted in this situation, so I'm glad someone agrees with me, lol. As for the Obliviate spell - hm, good point. I think that it doesn't happen more often because people realize it's morally wrong to just wipe a person's memory like that for no good reason. We don't know the mechanics of the spell exactly, so there might be more to it, but we do know that the Ministry uses it to cover up magic if a Muggle witnesses something they shouldn't, like a dragon or something. And Hermione uses them in DH as well (although I think she probably used something different on her parents.) So it's done to erase specific memories, which is why I thought it would be interesting to use it here as Hermione covers her tracks. She's done it before, after all. Sort of a scary thought, isn't it? That someone could make you forget something at any point and you wouldn't remember you had forgotten something? But I digress. Thanks for the review, I really appreciate it! :)

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 05/24/10 16:30
Chapter: Trapped

I've been meaning to read this for a while, but with my current logjam of things I have yet to write, it sort of slipped by the wayside.

Wow! I mean, this is a very intense story. The themes and concepts are new and terrible (not the bad kind, well, yeah, the bad kind... >.> you know what I mean), but they're not implausible. People do hideous things to one another without magic; imagine what they can do with the assistance of magic. The possibilities are startling.

I have to admit that it's not easy to swallow Goyle doing that at first. Sure, he has just been traumatized and will probably go to prison for what he did while at Hogwarts, but it was marked in the Fiendfyre scene that it was Crabbe who was the cruel and violent one. Personally, I always thought that Crabbe and Goyle were a 'thing', so the death of his best 'friend' could send him over the edge. What saved it for me was him describing the Fiendfyre eating at his flesh. That he believed her responsible, even though it was his own dumbass friend that cast the curse, could definitely drive him to violate her magically and physically.

I read all the other reviews before I read the story, and I don't see how it could seem at all implausible that she could bash him over the head and kill him in a primal way. Obviously, whoever thinks that it's not possible has never been attacked by anyone before. It's not fun, and it's terrifying. Would I kill someone with a rock like she did in that situation? Fuck yeah, I would. No hesitation. And profanity for an exclamation point!

The scene with Draco was interesting. At this point, I'm sure that Draco is not half the entitled bastard that he was pre-HBP. I sort of picture him rolling up his sleeve to expose his Dark Mark and say something like, "You don't believe I would do anything for my family? This is what I'll do for family!" I suppose I drink the Reformed!Draco kool-aid, but if he was really that desperate to not go to prison (and face it, who wouldn't be?), I do see him crossing one last line to get what he wants. Yet again, I had questions at first, but you answered them further in the story. Well done.

And the last part is probably the best. Hermione was so happy with herself in that split second, but it hit her that she had just done something terrible and covered it up by doing something nearly as reprehensible. And it all had happened in a few minutes. It's a trap (title reference...yeah!) into which anyone could fall, and Hermione is deliciously imperfect. I don't begrudge her at all what she did, as I probably would have killed Goyle, burnt the body, toasted marshmallows over the flames and pissed on the ashes. But she's of a different moral ilk than me, so her guilt and shame was extraordinarily fitting. She was supposed to be one of the good guys, but...awesome!

Great read, and shame on me for not reading it sooner! Take care and happy writing,

Jess



Author's Response: A very belated thank-you for the amazing review, Jess! I don't know that when I wrote this story, I expected it to get any sort of the attention that it has. I tried very hard to answer all the questions and make it plausible, so that if a reader wondered about something - the setting, the bad guy, the death, the end - then it was addressed in the narrative. I'm glad that you were able to question things and yet find the answer. I still think it's all plausible, but then I wrote it! :) I really appreciate all your comments (even though it took me forever to reply) - thank you so much for reading this story! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 02/12/10 13:53
Chapter: Trapped

Gina, Oh, my. I really like this story. I honestly don't read a lot of D/A - it just ain't my cup of tea, but this caught my eye.

I've not heard the term - wand rape - before (I must be very naive) but the full horror of what was happening - and what could have happened - was brilliantly written. As someone who's written Crabbe as thoroughly evil, I can relate to Goyle being of the same mould.

I so agree with the Malfoys not just being handed a pardon. Okay, they didn't fight at the battle (although they probably did in the early parts, just not when they were screeching for Draco) but they were still culpable of murder, torture and endless suffering. I'm annoyed that JK said Harry spoke up for them, and feel they probably bribed their way out. /rant.

Anyway, my favourite part of the fic is Hermione Obliviating Draco's memory. He's so dumb, and she is far, far too smart for him.

UGHH! I have to add a nit pick (well a Britpick) Jackass is a bit American, but I actually didn't notice from the first read through, it was only when I re-read that it struck me. She's probably say 'Prat' or something. (I am a horrible brit-picker)

Ending on a positive note, the final scene when she sobs at the black lake, made tears well in my eyes (honestly). I loved it. She's been so strong and finally, in solitude, she collapses.

Brilliant. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ack! I can't believe I didn't respond to this last month! I think it was one of those things were I thought it all in my head but apparently never typed it. Sorry! My belated thanks for the lovely review. I appreciate the support. :D And I really appreciate the positive comments, it reaffirms my confidence in the piece. As for the term wand-rape, I hadn't heard it either, it just popped out of Goyle's filthy mouth. It's not literal, but magical. Equally terrifying, as far as I'm concerned. And I'm glad you agree about the Malfoys. I think JKR has said they got off, but at this point in the timeline, Draco should definitely be worried, stupid git. Oh, and thanks for the Brit-pick. 'Prat' just didn't seem strong enough, is there a stronger word I can use in the future? Thanks again for reading this story! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Southern_Witch_69
Date: 02/03/10 8:34
Chapter: Trapped

Hmmm. A couple of these reviews having me scratching my head. Concrit is one thing, but uh... yeah... Definitely NOT a stretch for her to kill him via a rock to the head. Adrenaline kicks in, and you can do lots of things in order to survive. It doesn't take much to kill someone if you hit them in the right place on the head. We've seen Hermione stoop to desperate measures before, I don't see why she wouldn't do the same in an AU story. Where debris from the castle was strewn about. Shrug. As far as the wand rape, I think the point was missed. But look, you can't let any reviews beat you up. Some people won't get the subtle hints that an author puts into the story to lead the reader along and draw the right type of imagery. That doesn't mean you've not done your job. Where there are three people who may not "get it," there will be twenty who will. Keep writing. Your imagery presentation is wonderful.

Author's Response: Your words are so encouraging, especially because it was your prompt so who knows what you might have been envisioning in the back of your mind! :) "That doesn't mean you've not done your job.Where there are three people who may not "get it," there will be twenty who will. " Thank you, thank you, for reminding me of that! It is sometimes easy to forget. Thank you so much for taking the time to come by here and leave a note, I really appreciate your kind words!! See you over at PP! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: OkiBlossom
Date: 02/02/10 20:51
Chapter: Trapped

Right. I'm going to try this again with the hopes that I don't get kicked off. You're story sounds a bit origunal, although I think I once read this Draco/Hermione piece that was rather questionable. Well written, of course, but it was questionable al the same. Really dark.

The opening with the lone candles and the dark corridors rather reminds me of a set for Catholic schoolgirl gone wrong, which is rather cool, don't get me wrong. You had me there.

Errour: "anything, anymore should not have a comma because there is no pause.

Just curious here. Why wouuld you say that she feared the possibility of ghosts? After the climatic battle, I would think she has enough on her plate and would be mourning the dead. And as for the Death Eaters haunting Hogwarts, why would you bother hauting an area where you just got defeated and effectively obilterated? I understand you are trying to make a connection. Think about that.

"wand rape" - This is really where I draw the line. I mean, yes, I see that Goyle is rather disoriented and that he can make this action. Even if he does decide to rape her in exchange for a murder she did not commit (because Crabbe effectively destroyed a Hocrux, yes?), I'm just not seeing it that way.

I'm not trying to say that the rapeisn't plausible. I do understand that you want to make a point with Hermoine and a shocking act, but this whole again of 'wand rape' is a bit much. It's probably hard to write (I tried this myself), but it is a little too much. The euivilent of that would be a knife. And why? Do you just want a magical element? It's really bad enough to say she got raped, let alone by such a description.

Although she is alone in the corridor, there are loads of other people in that Castle. Would nobody have noticed? You might have a poiont there, but I want you to consider this: Dumbledore was willing to pardon Draco' s family in HBP and Harry was startled by his instance, so there is a chance things may get repaired there.

Where dd the rock come from? As a talented witch, she throws a rock from the debris as a defence? Why not kick me and hurt his eyes? Even if her wand slid a few feet away, Hermione's got power enough to make a connection. A rock?

Well, hrre are my thoughts. It is quite well written and you have an original idea. I would not have written a written had I not been intrigued.

-okiblossom

Author's Response: Thank you for reading this story and leaving a review. At the risk of sounding defensive, I feel I must address many things you have written about, as most are things that I did indeed think about before submitting this piece, and feel are explained well enough in the story. First of all, your opening paragraph puzzles me. Are you referring to a Draco/Hermione story that I wrote or that you read elsewhere? What does it have to do with this story? As for Hermione being afraid of ghosts, the sentence I wrote was: “. . . her first irrational thought was that the ghosts of the dead were haunting the hallways.” I was not referring to the Hogwarts ghosts, but rather to the ghosts of those killed in the battle. We know wizards can stay behind as ghosts, though we know little about how or why. It seems possible, however unlikely, to me that someone killed horrifically in the battle may haunt the castle. Hermione went from the break-in at Gringotts straight into the final battle; is it that inconceivable that sheer fatigue would bring these same irrational thoughts to her mind? Regarding Hermione being alone in the corridor: again I ask if it is really that improbable that she would find herself alone in that ruined hallway, early in the morning, the day following the final battle? The vast majority of students left for being underage, although some returned through the Hog’s Head and many fighters joined the battle from Hogsmeade. Still, it does not seem unlikely to me that they would be resting, mourning their loved ones, or even returning home. This scene does not take long to unfold; it seems very possible that only one person may have happened upon the attack. I am not sure I understand what this has to do with the rest of the paragraph: “Dumbledore was willing to pardon Draco' s family in HBP and Harry was startled by his instance, so there is a chance things may get repaired there.” Dumbledore may have been willing to pardon Draco in HBP, but he is dead, and the Malfoys literally hosted the Dark Lord at their home. It seems highly unlikely to me they will get off with no sentence for their crimes, no matter their actions during the final battle. While it may seem out-of-character for Draco to ask for help, this is still Draco Malfoy, and he is doing so through blackmail. He demonstrated in HBP that he was capable of killing to protect his family; it only follows that he may attempt blackmail to protect them as well. The rock came from the ruins of the corridor. I made sure to explain the scene so that it was plausible. Hermione did use her magic to blast Goyle away from her, but he moved her wand even further down the hallway, making that more difficult-or so she thought. Again, I must point out the terrifically difficult time Hermione has had: is it that unbelievable that even she would panic in the moment and grab for whatever was at hand to fend off her attacker? I simply chose a rock rather than have her kick and scream. Finally, to address your concerns about the term “wand-rape:” I did not intend for this to be literal. In my mind, this is a magical violation, and Goyle would not actually use his wand for this heinous act but do so magically. I can see the confusion and apologize for that, as well as any offense. I will try to make that more clear. Again, I thank you for taking the time to write such a review. I hope I have addressed your points and that you understand this story and how and why I wrote it the way I did somewhat better. ~Gina

Reviewer: Mind Games
Date: 01/28/10 14:42
Chapter: Trapped

Whoa… that was such an intense, compelling story. You had me hooked straight until the end with the plot. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever read before, and especially unusual for a story that takes place right after the Battle of Hogwarts. Who imagined so much drama and violence to take place afterward? I love your creativity.

Hogwarts was saved, but it still felt lost.

This line is so simple, but I think it sums up the emotion of that time perfectly. I’ve often thought about what had to be running through the characters’ minds during the week after the final battle. Happiness and relief over the victory of course, but still intense sorrow and mourning. I’m sure being at Hogwarts would be quite strange and sad, with all the damage and memories of what had happened.

Draco asking Hermione for her help sounds very out of character, but you managed to make it work so well. Even when asking for her help, Draco’s dialogue and actions sound very similar to what we see in the books. His threatening to expose her secret also helped make his asking for her help much more believable, since I don’t think he would have if he didn’t have some kind of blackmail or threat. He’s not typically one to beg for favors.

Hermione killing Goyle with a chuck of rock did not seem entirely plausible to me. Even under normal circumstances, it’s unlikely that someone with Hermione’s strength compared to Goyle’s strength would be able to kill a person just by striking his head only once with a rock, especially since he was pinning her down. In this situation it’s even more unlikely, considering that Hermione was already tired and then suffered the Cruciatus Curse twice. I see why this was vital to the plot, but I do think it’s a bit of a stretch.

“You’re parents were Death Eaters; they’ll never be just pardoned,” she said softly, though she felt the doubt in her voice.

‘You’re’ should be ‘Your’ here.

“I know what your mom did; I know you didn’t fight.”

‘Mom’ should be ‘mum’ here.

I really like how this story explores just what someone would do to protect his family. Nice characterization, excellent plot, and an overall great response to a difficult prompt. Quite impressive!

Author's Response: HI there! A rather belated thank-you for the amazing review! Your comments are so thoughtful and sincere, I really appreciate you taking the time to leave such detailed thoughts. I can see your point about Draco being OOC, but like you said, I hope that by keeping his dialogue and other actions (that trademark sneer, lol) in character it helped establish it as possible. It is blackmail, after all—something I think would be a very Malfoy thing to do, particularly since he is doing it to protect his family and we saw what he was willing to do to protect them in HBP. And I get how the rock thing might seem implausible as well (you are not the only reviewer to say so!) although I think that with desperate adrenaline flowing, a person is capable of amazing feats, particularly if it involves survival. I wish it seemed less contrived. >.< Thanks for pointing out those errors, that's why I asked if you could beta! I shall go back and tweak a bit. And thanks again for the review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: butter_beer_drinker
Date: 01/27/10 20:30
Chapter: Trapped

*claps enthusuastically*  as always you did a great job loved the twist at the end

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for coming by to read this! I really appreciate it, and I'm glad you liked the twist, hee hee. Thanks again! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Virgil
Date: 01/26/10 17:17
Chapter: Trapped

Whoa that was intense. I like how the plot twisted and turned even though it was only a relatively short one-shot. Your writing style is very good, too.
-Virgil-

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the compliments! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and found it twisty and intense. Thank you for reading it and leaving a review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for the compliments! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and found it twisty and intense. Thank you for reading it and leaving a review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

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