MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Maple_and_PheonixFeather (Signed) · Date: 12/31/11 21:25 · For: One-Shot
Wow, Gina. This was beautiful! The emotion in this little story feels immensely real and not forced. It’s also a very different Teddy than what I’m used to, and a very different world, too. And yet, it’s believable. You give me a world I don’t want to see, but yet I accept it.

Even though we are not told Teddy’s approximate age until the end, it is very clear that he is older throughout the entirety of the article. You really portray his maturity and how much he’s learned simply through the way he is writing.

The character that really intrigued me was the man in the apothecary. Before the nose was mentioned, I thought it was Harry. This struck me as odd, as Harry wasn’t very good at potions. But then you mentioned the nose, and I ran to see if this was AU. I think that the mystery of the person is perfect, yet there is enough there for those of us who have that little bit of Sevgirl in us to see it as him. And in complete honesty, it fits him all too well. The dislike, yet the hidden respect, it’s all very Snape. When the apothecary died, I was so very sad, it was like losing Snape all over again. The line of him having no one was so touching and beautiful.

I really like the way that is structured, right down to the little blurb at the bottom of the article. It really feels like a newspaper article. What I also really liked about the structure were the really small, one sentence paragraphs. I think they really emphasise the important parts of the article. What I also found really effective was how you introduced him through his parents. Showing the things that he got from them and showing them in both light and dark perspectives was a very interesting way of doing things. I also really liked the comparison of Teddy’s new outlook to a spell “ very Potterverse without feeling forced.

I found it a bit ironic how you introduce Tonks first, and yet she is really not a big part of the article. At all. And yet, you give her the place of importance.

I think that this piece had a brilliant sense of flow to it. It really slowly showed how Teddy grew to accept, not only his father, but himself. The progression is slow and natural, like life.

One thing that caught my notice was that Teddy referred to Voldemort as both Voldemort and You-Know-Who. I think, for the sake of consistency, it would be better to just choose one name.

Once again, you have moved me emotionally. I really enjoyed reading this.

Happy New Year!


Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review, Maple! I really appreciate it, since this story felt a bit overlooked at the time and I rather liked writing it. It was a bit different, trying to structure it as something for a newspaper, so I'm glad that worked. I'm glad Teddy came through as different but believable. And I'm so glad you liked the apothecary! Hee hee - I will admit I had Snape in mind as I was writing this, but he is dead, you know. ;) I just thought the parallels between him and Remus were too similar for Teddy not to recognize them and learn from them. Interesting point about Tonks that I really had never thought about. And your are exactly right about the Voldemort/You Know Who thing! Someday I will fix that, lol. Thank you so much for reading this. I really appreciate all the lovely feedback!! ~Gina :)

Name: chattyswimmer (Signed) · Date: 05/19/10 18:09 · For: One-Shot
AHHH! This was amazing! My favorite line was "...he was rejected for something he could not change about his life; the mark on his arm scarred him as surely as the bite to my father had scarred him.". Outstanding, and so well written. Amazing job!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the great review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this stor. It was fascinating to draw the parallels between characters. I really appreciate the compliments - thank you for reading this and taking time to leave a review! ~Gina :)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 03/27/10 16:53 · For: One-Shot
This was a great story. It was really thoughtful and very emotionally rich. I am tempted to ask who the man was, though that might ruin some of it. I don't know...

But anyways...good job!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. "Emotionally rich" is a lovely compliment, thank you! The man can be whomever you want. ;) I had someone in mind, but the challenge was to stick to canon, so technically it's not him. ;) Thanks again for reading this, I appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

Name: OkiBlossom (Signed) · Date: 02/05/10 13:00 · For: One-Shot

I learned somthing from you today. Check this pot: apothecary can be used (I think - pretty sure - checking the OED) as a noun for both the place and the person. Yes, I am a word nerd. It happens. If you did that history piece and I said I'm checking that reference (oh my God, that was you), I'm sorry. I hate when people write really off-the-wall fan fiction without a grounds.

All right, so obviously Snape is still alive after the Battle, so this is AU, a bit, but I like the connection. While I was reading the piece, I tried so hard to make that somebody else. A crooked nose with black hair and green eyes? I found myself trying just to rack my brains ...
incidentally, Snape has dark eyes, or the whole 'Lily green eyes' would not have been played up on such a scale.

I would have liked you too delve furrther into the insight of these conversations, if even to touch on them. It is a newspaper article reflection, but that still would have been a moment of realisation like, 'Oh, yes, I remember that. I can't believe he just said that. She remembers that small thing?'

An article from a werewolf's son is a nice POV, seeing as he is so different (not ostracised, but different) and hopefully people are more open to that. You may say he is not defined by the werewolf thing.

Completely different, Gina. I like it ... I like it a lot. I never say that.
- okiblosom

Author's Response: A belated thank-you for the review! I'm glad you liked it. It was a bit different, I wasn't even sure it would fit the prompt I was writing for (we'll see what the mods ultimately decide!) I'm glad you learned something about words, lol. I know that Snape has dark eyes, but we don't know this is Snape, do we? *innocent wink* Besides, if it were, I think he would have transfigured his appearance a bit to escape notice, and I'd like to think green eyes would fit him well in honor of his lost love. If it were him. ;) Thanks again for the review, I appreciate it! ~Gina :)

Name: Equinox Chick (Signed) · Date: 02/05/10 10:48 · For: One-Shot
Gina, I don't know why you said it might not meet the requirements of the prompt - I think that story is just about darn perfect. Incredibly touching from the first sentence (mind you I'm a sucker for anything about Remus and Tonks). The story is beautiful and original. I love the friendship between him and Snape (I take it that is Snape). I do have a really, really miserly quibble which is that the apothacary's eyes are dark green and Snape's eyes are coal black, so at first I thought this was an illegitamate son of Snape and Lily (LOL). Then I wondered if the snake bite had changed his eye colour. However that was, as I said, really miserly.

I enjoyed this story very much. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Hey! I think we were reading each other's stories at the same time, lol!! As for the prompt . . . well, it's supposed to be canon, isn't it? Therefore, I plead silence on answering the Snape question, since technically he is dead. But if he were alive, it certainly seems possible he would have scars on his throat and run an apothecary, wouldn't it? And I think if he wanted to be left alone he'd probably change his appearance a bit, otherwise everyone would recognize him. Green eyes in honor of the woman he once loved would be nice . . . but all theorhetical, of course. Since it's really just some former Death Eater would went to school with Lupin, worked with him, and turned on Voldemort. LOLOL. Anyway! Thanks for reading this! I really appreciate the review. I'm glad you liked it, it was almost easy to write because it was just one of those stories that appeared full-written and I really just had to transcribe it, you know? And it was a neat prompt. Thanks again and good luck! ~Gina :)

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