This was a nice one-shot! Fred and George are two of my favourite characters and I’m very sensitive to Fred’s death and the aftermath of George, so this was a very emotional fic for me, to say the least.
I think it’s very hard for anyone who isn’t a twin to portray the type of feelings George would be feeling; twins share a very personal connection and Fred and George definitely shared the same mind! But you did a good job with describing how George would react to his brother’s death, with the not eating and sitting in his room. I’m sure he would go through a lot of shock and not know what to do with himself for a long while.
The use of flashbacks was very fitting in this story and added more sentimental moments to make his death more emotional (as if I needed that though! :p) Your first flashback when Fred “ had exuded courage and a resolute strength, spreading throughout the room like a collective power. It had been the moment they had been waiting for” oh my, it gave me chills! You’ve portrayed Fred’s leadership qualities really well here as well as in the flashback of him stealing Charlie’s wand. With this one I really liked how you had George reluctant, but then follow him with the same spirit. To me this one flashback sort of sums up their whole life, Fred always being the leader and the one who overshadows George, and George being sort of the “follower” who is one step behind his brother. Your characterization of the twins was amazing and seeing as this was for a character challenge, I really think you have a good shot at winning!
“The first few days, she had mollified herself over George more than ever, forcing him to eat, forcing him to come out of his room and be with the family.” I’m a little on the edge about how Molly treated him after the battle. I’m not so sure she would bug him so much about being with the family and out of his room. Everyone had to deal with a lot of loss and I think Molly would understand how hard George had it, being the closest person to Fred, not only emotionally but biologically too. I do see her forcing him to eat, but also knowing the fact that he probably wouldn’t eat. This is so short mentioned in the story, though, so it doesn’t affect anything, I just wanted to throw it in there!
The part with Angelina sets up for their future relationship, but I would have liked to see more on George’s feelings and how he dealt with it alone.
I like how you described George getting better and coming back to reality: “George looked up at the sun, squinting. It shone brightly, warm on the freckles of his face. A slight breeze rustled in the grass, ruffled his hair and gave him goose pimples. He took a deep, calm breath.
He could feel again.”
After being in his room for such a long period of time, this passage tells a lot of truth about what going outside can do for you! Haha. Throughout the whole time he was outside you paid close attention to the senses, how his feet felt on the grass and how the carrot tasted in his mouth. It was a great way to show how he was becoming more human and alive for the first time after the battle. Again, great characterization and also a good use of the senses to make me want to cry! :) His getting over of the loss was just as emotional as the actual reaction to his death, for me.
It was a great story! Keep writing :)
Author's Response: Aww, thanks Sarah! I'm very happy with how this turned out, indeed. My beta was a great help for me while characterising George and specifically the differences between him and Fred. I know that I was devastated when Jo killed Fred, and then just left it hanging for us - honestly, George's life must've been the one affected most dramatically by the war. I was all teary all the way through writing this. It feels wrong to say that I'm glad it made you sad too, but yeah, you know what I mean :) Thank you for your very kind words and thanks for taking the time to R&R! It means a lot to me :)
I'm surprised by how few fanfictions on this subject there are as it is something I've given much thought to myself, so naturally I relished your story.
That carrot was entirely outlandish and I think for that reason it added a very "Fred and George" touch to the fanfic, which made me smile, too. The little details are what matter to me, and while some would suggest your micromanagement depleted from the main issue at hand I would disagree and say it made the story truly riveting.
A beautiful piece =]
Author's Response: There aren't a lot of stories on this, are there? At first when I had the idea, I thought - no. I could NEVER pull that off. George's loss is so much more difficult to understand than anyone else's, considering the special relationship the twins had. When I first read DH, I was appalled at JKR for throwing in the death of Fred, without elaborating on how this affected George. I found it quite hard imagining what George would be feeling now... Haha, my beta pointed out the carrot part being a nice symbolism for the Weasleys carrot-top hair and what-not. But it was rather unintentional on my side... :P I'm glad you liked the story! And thank you lots for taking the time to review :)
Very nice! I really liked how you intertwined some of George's memories with his present. It fleshed out their life together and gave the story a nice depth. Very sweet ending with Angelina. Good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Gina! At first I had the story standing alone, without the memories. Then I added one, then another, and it almost got out of hand :P It turned out quite a different story than I started with, but I too like it as it is now! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Nice! Near tears the entire time!
Author's Response: Aww! I'm glad I was able to awaken those emotions :) Thanks for reading, and for reviewing!