I want to say I agree with all who reviewed this story and Kenley is just too good a character to not develop more.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for saying that. I have a strong attachment to this character and her family and her story, but the task of converting it to a chaptered story has got a bit lost among other projects of late. But I've had her on my mind and would very much like to get back into it. I appreciate the read and the review, and the encouragement. Thanks! ~ Lori
I have to admit, I have a ridiculously big, silly grin on my face right now, and it has nothing to do with how far past my bedtime it is :)
This is absolutely adorable, and makes me root whole-heartedly for Kenley and her happiness.
Author's Response: Now you are just trying to get on my good side. :) Hehe. I probably get more excited to see a new review for this story than any other I've written, though I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's more personal, since Kenley is my own creation, rather than one borrowed from Rowling. Thanks so much for taking a chance on an OC story, and leaving me the review. I'm thrilled you liked it and are cheering for Kenley. I am actively working on this, though the progress is slow, as it will soon (hopefully) become a chaptered story. Thanks again for the kind words--I appreciate it so much!
This was lovely! I'd be delighted to read a chaptered expansion on it, if you wrote one!
Author's Response: The way to my heart is reading and reviewing this fic! :) I'm so glad you liked it. I'm currently working on chapters two and three for this story, so keep an eye out. Thanks for the review!
I think just the fact that i specially made an account to review this story tell a lot. Loved the story and am really curious about the her being in Slytherin. I would love to see more James stories. :)
Author's Response: ONce I finish Letters from the Tent, this fic is going to be bumped up in my priority list. I still have plans to make it a chaptered story. Thanks for registering and taking time to leave me a review. I'm glad you liked James here. :)
this is strange.. i never found harry potter funny anywhere in books and his son seems to have quite a good sense of humor.. may be it is because harry hadn't have pleasant childhood .. anyway very interesting story.. :)
Author's Response: I think Harry has a decent sense of humor in the books, though he's not as funny as Ron, I suppose. That said, I don't think people always have their parents' dispositions when it comes to these kinds of things. My James has a good sense of humor... makes him much more attractive. :) I can't really tell if you liked the story or not, but thanks for the review anyway! :)
I really really liked this story!! Both James and Kenley are really interesting characters with good chemistry. Please tell me you are going to write more!
Author's Response: I am working on more, but it may be awhile before you see another chapter. Thanks so much for the review though. I'm thrilled you liked it!
Oh, wow. I loved this! I actually read it several weeks ago, and then came back to read it again it stuck in my mind so much. One thing I noticed when reading this was flow, your sentences just run together so well. Nothing ever seems awkward, it's just really well done. I'm actually quite jealous, as when I'm writing it can sometimes take me ages to get one paragraph right.
I love the idea of James not being against Slytherins as I think that would be something that Harry would instill on his children from a young age. I also found Kenley's attittude against her stepfather really interesting, as you seemed to get it just right.
I have one point, and that is some of it is slightly american. For example; [i]She nodded, easily imagining him stocking shelves or greeting customers in the Happiest Store on Earth.[/i]
For future reference us British would just call it a shop.
Apart from that I really enjoyed reading this! Your characterisation of James was just right and Kenley is such an interesting character!
Author's Response: Sarah, you have absolutely made my evening. You read this twice? You rock. :) Seriously, I'm really glad you liked it. I'm thrilled you thought it flowed well. That was a concern of mine initially in the first section of prose, as prose is not my best thing. I'm glad you thought it worked all right. Kenley has some father issues, and they will play out in nearly all her relationships with men, including Brian and James. I can't believe I missed that about the "store." Did you notice I did manage to get "shop front" and "pavement"? Yay, I got those right. :) This is a big deal for me, and I'm glad I had some Brit help with those details. I will change the reference you mentioned, though--thanks for pointing it out. I have written more of this story, and it will eventually be a chaptered deal, with this being the first chapter. Unfortunately, I'm not ready to post more yet. But I'm glad to know that if I do, I will have a reader or two. Thanks again for this lovely and thoughtful review. I appreciate it.
I liked this story! And I really liked Kenley! I have not gotten into much of the next generation stories, but she intrigues me. Why is she on Slytherien? Does she even know?
I hope you continue with her story.. I would like to read more and see how the slytherien/ gryffindor drama play itself out. Great job!
Author's Response: Ooh, you've made my day by reading and reviewing this. I'm so glad you liked Kenley want to know more. I'm afraid I can't really answer your questions without spoiling things for you, as I am working on turning this into a chaptered fic. I will say that you've already picked up on a bit of important truth though regarding Kenley. I don't know if you frequent the beta boards at all, but I just posted a James/Kenley drabble there for the gryffindor challenge. Just a bit more, if you are interested. Thanks again.
I really liked the story - Kenley was a great character and your characterisation of James was quite how I have always imagined his grandfather! One small thing, at the beginning when you talked about Kenley's father, I think you didn't need to say that their relationship was dysfunctional - I had already realised this and it seemed a little repetitive. But just a small thing. Otherwise very nice!
Author's Response: Hi again. :) Thanks so much for reading this. I always feel a little sad for this story, as it gets so few reads. I was delighted to see the number five appear on my reviews list. Hehe. I'm glad you liked James. Some of those traits you recognize just make sense to me considering he's a Weasley/Potter kid... but he won't be the legendary prankster his father was, so hopefully he will be his own person as well. I am working on turning this into a chaptered fic, but for now, it stands as a one-shot. I actually gave your crit a lot of consideration and discovered I agree with you. I have changed it now... thanks for pointing it out and helping me improve the story. And thanks for the review!
Great story, I love your female seventh year Slytherin photographer. What a great idea for a character. I did not mention to you that one of my two Challenge entries (also a “Summer Holiday” one) also featured a female seventh year Slytherin photographer, as I thought that might cause you some concern. As it is, they are totally different people.
There are a lot of mysteries about Kenley and you manage to hint that many of them are issues relating to her absent biological father. In fact both of her parents loom large in this story, though neither of them appear. James and Brian are nicely drawn, too.
Good luck for the challenge.
Author's Response: I'm glad you did not tell me that before, Neil... it would have caused me concern, to say the least. ;) But since done is done, why not just agree that great minds think alike and have a laugh about it? That is a pretty funny coincidence. I have not read your other entry yet, but hope to do so today. I'm glad you got the sense of her parents being larger than the quantity of lines I devoted to them in this... I was hoping that would come across without telling every bit of history. Thanks for reading and reviewing, Neil!
WOW! This is fantastic. I have to say I don't think I've read a fic about an OC where I've cared as much about them. You built up such an interesting and complicated character and a great story too.
Then the strangest thing happened: a fuzzy lump lodged itself in the back of Kenley’s throat and tears began to scratch at the back of her eyes. I LOVE.THIS. LINE. I'm just in the middle of writing something where I talk about a lump in the throat, and it's so mundane now I reread it. Your words here are so touching and powerful.
I like your James in this story. Not embarrassed about being Harry's son, enjoying time with his uncle, yet willing to admit he can make a mistake. There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something.
I am wondering why she is in Slytherin, but I actually like the enigma surrounding her. She seems to be a loner, with few friends - the camera explains a lot because she's on the side of it that takes the pictures rather than being the one in the picture. (am I making any sense here?) .
I think this is an extrememly strong contender in the challenge (Yay to Hufflepuff) - so good luck. It would be a deserved winner. Well done ~Carole~
Author's Response: Isn't it awful to sit around trying to think of different ways to express that someone is trying not to cry? Man alive, the battle! I'm glad you think this line worked here, but I do struggle with that all the time... there are only so many ways to say it. I think my heart did a little flip when you said you cared about Kenley. She is complicated, and she has some negative traits (defensive, untrusting) that made me fear she would not be accessible or likable to readers. So that is just so good to hear. I'm glad James seemed all right. I want to be true to what we know from the epilogue, but he is not going to be his grandfather made over... that just seems very unlikely to me. "There's no grand romance, but you feel that maybe it could blossom into something." This makes me smile. Why she is in Slytherin. Yes, one person did tell me I needed to say more about this, and I know I risk a little with the challenge by holding back... but I think part of an interesting character is leaving some things to wonder about. What's interesting about knowing absolutely everything and this character is just an open book. She's not an open book. And I think I hinted here that the reasons she is in Slytherin are not exactly clear to her, even here in her seventh year. I sort of wish we could all sit down and discuss the next-gen Slytherin thing over coffee (or diet Coke, since i hate coffee). Assuming these students are not harboring DE agendas anymore, and that many of them would be a bit more enlightened in terms of maybe not holding to past prejudices... what would cause the hat to sort someone into Slytherin? Perhaps pureblood families, or children of those who had been in Slytherin... but there would be other kinds of Slytherins, too, I think. Not such a cut-and-dry sorting at this time, maybe? But yes, there is mystery around it, and I like it that way, too. Look how I'm going on. Thanks so much for the lovely review, Carole. I was very nervous about this, but now I'm feeling encouraged to keep on with this story--yay! (oh, and very perceptive about the camera)
It was AMAZING!! I really enjoyed it and you should make like a chaptered fic based off of this, it would be really enjoyable!! I love how you made James and Kenley (pretty name) and it would be nice to read about them and learn about them more in depth!
Author's Response: Thank-you. :) I will not deny that I do intend to continue this story as a chaptered fic, though I am not clear on exactly how it is going to look. (Don't go watching for it next week or anything... hehe.) But it is really encouraging to hear that you think it could work and be interesting. It will be more character driven than anything else, much like this one-shot. Thanks again for taking the time to leave a review. I appreciate it so much!
This was just...it just blew my mind. Kenley felt so very real. She's a wonderfully drawn OC. Plus, you really turned the prompt around. I liked James Potter and Brian as well.
What crit can I offer? There is none. I wasn't expecting the fic to end like that - to have James coming in, and then giving the story something to mull over. It's sad that the house rivalries are still there, even after so many years.
The ending was great. Lori, seriously, I will be amazed if you don't win this thing. Good luck, anyway!
Author's Response: Aw, yay! I'm so glad you like it! I feel so out of my element here... next gen, OCs, no Ron or Hermione in sight... what is this strange place? ;) Ha! I'm glad you liked Kenley and Brian (my pretend father). House rivalries. I've thought a lot about this and, obviously, it's all speculation. I think how racism is today, though... the way it trickles down through families and groups. And not even just the prejudices (though I believe some of the Slytherins would still hold to some of those purity ideals... not most of them, i hope), but the tradition of Slytherin being the "bad" house. I think the issues that separate the houses would be way toned down (I doubt the word "mudblood" is thrown around much), but the rivalries and the attitudes would be slow to change. Anyway, Just some thoughts on that. You know how much I value your opinion, dear, and so this review makes me smile with teeth showing. Thanks!