Oh wow, this is a really lovely story. I've put off reading it for far too long. I expected it to be a much more light hearted sort of fic, but I was very pleasantly surprised with the outcome... It actually brought tears to my eyes when it came to the end.
Anyway, I think you did a wonderful job with Petunia. I can easily see the Petunia Dursley we all know and love (er... hate) from the books inside her.
Yes, her dress was perfection. She would walk down that aisle tomorrow and be a perfect English rose of a bride.
This line in particular was very Petunia-like in my opinion. You definitely capture the Dursley (although she isn't yet a Dursley in your fic) we meet in the first HP book. However, what I really loved about your Petunia is that you added so much depth to her character. Her jealousy, anger, and sadness almost had me feeling sorry for her. But what really got to me was her longing. The way she watches James with Lily, and realizes that it's something she and Vernon don't have together...
A sudden pain shot through Petunia. Vernon never looked at her like that.
I could almost feel Petunia's ache for the love her sister shared with James... You made her pain so believable.
The Dursley's characterization was perfect. I can definitely see a younger Marge and Vernon acting like that, and Edna is a perfect description of how I would imagine Vernon's mother.
I was also pleased with your portrayal of James and Lily. I agree with the fact that Lily couldn't be too extremely "rule-abiding". If that was true, I highly doubt her relationship with James would have worked out so well.
I really love the fact that Petunia eventually almost warms up to James, despite his messy hair and red socks.
“Thank you,” she said softly. James flashed a smile at her, and she found herself smiling back.
I absolutely loved the conversation between James and Petunia. Again, it added so much depth to both of their characters.
However, as much as I loved your other characters, I was definitely the most pleased with Sirius. Even in dog form, you still kept up with the whole Sirius-ish act to him. James's alarm when it's suggested that Padfoot sleeps in Lily's room is hilarious as well, and I'm sure Sirius was rather excited at the thought of that, haha.
‘Because a bride should look beautiful on her wedding day.
Sirius Black xxx’
Again, you have added so much more depth to the character (I'm quite sure I've already said that three times)! I actually choked back a sob when I read that. That was, by far, my favorite line from the story.
I should really re-read Lions of Gryffindor, so I can see how this story ties in with it. :)
Soooo, I do hope you'll excuse my raving over your story. I really enjoyed it, and it is one of the best views on Petunia Dursley that I've ever read.
Author's Response: Ashleigh, thank you very much for such a gorgeous review. Veils is one of the stories I most cherish when I look at by written work. It emerged from a drabble I wrote about 4 years ago that I expanded for a competition, and it remains one of my favourites. There are parts that still make me giggle (Sirius, for instance) and parts that make me cry (the end, and also James and Lily being together when we know they have so little time)
The tie in with Lions won;t be obvious yet as I haven't got that far but there's another story of mine that is the prequel - sort of. It's called First date Disaster. There's a better one called Sixth Time's the Charm, but that doesn't quite fit - ha. And now I shall stop pimping ma fics.
Thank you again for the lovely review. ~Carole~
One again you did a brilliant story and I cannot wait for you to finish the Lions.... You absolutely have a the 6th sense for each of the character - your Lily is how I pictured her....
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I do have two more chapters of Lions written, I'm just waiting for the all clear from my beta. Review very much appreciated. ~Carole~
I absolutely adore this, it had me smiling, a little sadly about the fate of the Marauders. The image of an ugly veil in the air, and a handsome young man laughing- quite an image to put in my head. The innocence and the mischief of it. Whenever I write drabbles on Sirius, I use his laughter as a coping mechanism for him. His laughs are usually at an irony of it- but here..oh, you know what I mean.
James- LOL. from refusing to let siri-padfoot share a room with Lily , to gently telling Petunia that Vernon must have gained weight. I am eagerly awaiting your update on Lions. :)
And your Lily is just right. In my view, anyway. A lot of people portray her as incredibly self righteous and stuffy. They don't get her 'mischief' quite right. And she would have to be mischievous to date James Potter.
And lastly, Petunia. her jealousy, her insecurity, a certain feeling that she has been overshadowed by Lily. You have struck a right balance between the girl who said, "How do you do it?" to "You are a freak,Lily!" . And yes, i can picture her being very attracted/and scared of being attracted to someone like Sirius. :P
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Yes, I totally agree about Lily. James would not have dated a sourpuss - no matter how pretty - and Slughorn mentions her being cheeky, so she must have been a lively sort of girl.
I do feel sad when I read this story because it makes me think about the Marauders and Lily and how they all died so senselessly. *sigh*
Thank you for the lovely review. I am halfway through a chapter of Lions but got distracted - ooops. ~Carole~
This is sooooooo cute!
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing ~Carole~
Cute! I love how you had them sneak in Sirius, it really mad me laugh :) .
Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing. I liked Sirius here, but then he always makes me laugh. ~Carole~
This was so sweet. Stories about Lily and Petunia always bring me to near-tears, and I assure you that I was about to cry since Lily walked in the door. You captured her perfectly: Senstive, mischievous, lovable, "flouncy," agreeable...she's a difficult character to shape, and I applaud you.
Sometimes Lily seems a little too flip-floppy, actually, but I'm not sure if that's OOC. It's sort of...in between. There were a few occasions that it was too sudden a swap, like "She sounded sad and her green eyes were glimmering as if she were about to cry." and then "Was she imagining the hint of mischief in her sister’s eyes?" She was super sad, and then a few lines later, feeling better? Usually the transitions were smooth, natural, and well placed.
Meanwhile, I also liked your depiction of Petunia. She was somewhere between that curious child who watching Lily bewitching the flower in the park despite herself, and the adult who absolutely forbids mention of any abnormalities. An undertone of your fic almost suggests it's out of jealousy...and pain.
I feel *bad* for Petunia. She's jealous. Of everything. Not just Lily's world; you made me think that she's jealous of everything else, too: the freedom of her relationship, the love in her relationship, her love of life...everything. Petunia cares so much, and I think that she hates caring so much about what people think and say. For some reason she wants these people's approval...I do wish you had explained that...but you make it seem like she just wants Vernon to act a little bit more like James, and for Edna to, well, (no nice way to say this) piss off. Why aren't her childhood dreams coming true? well, the practical-petunias thing is because of Edna.
And it's so sad. You did so well in making it seem so sad, too. She just wants the wedding to be over, for instance. She didn't say "oh wow, my life is sad" but her tears and the sentences surrounding her wedding--supposedly the happiest day in one's life--just kind of shows it. A mark of a good writer.
This whole thing was just amazing. I really liked that the end, it was her, so many years later, leaving Privet Drive. Probably some of the reason I've always pitied Tuney is this: If it were me and my sister, I'm always just a little worried that we would have ended up the same way. I like to think not so extreme, but there would always be just that tiny hint of resentment....
Anyway, amazing job. I loved it.(:
Author's Response: Hello. Thank you so much for the well-thought out review. I really appreciate it. With Petunia, I didn't really feel the need to explain exactly why she was so desperate to suck up to Vernon and his mum. I suppose I assumed that her abhorrence of Lily's world has basically made her cling to anyone she considered normal - however rigid. And, of course, her parent's acceptance of James only underlines her feelings of insecurity within her own family.
I hadn't realised the transition of Lily's tears to mischief was as quick as that (I wrote this nearly a year ago) but I think what I was trying to get over was that she is quite changeable in temperament. Her tears were because of the childhood friendship she missed with Petunia, but I don;t think she's unbearably sad about losing it - it's just a moment of nostalgia.
Thank you again. Sorry I didn't reply straight away, I didn't notice for a while I'd got another review. ~Carole~
aww that is sooo cute
but she was really mean to lilly and james though??
but i still happy that she had her happily ever after!!!
Author's Response: Of course she was mean - she's Petunia. I'm not sure she was ever that happy. Perhaps if she'd had a gling with Sirius and never married Vernon, then she'd have been a bit more reasonable. Thanks for reviewing. ~Carole~
this was so many things sweet, fluffy, funny and a little sad. i really enjoyed reading and it was very well written.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. It's one of my favourites, actually, because it still makesd me cry a little when I think of James, Lily and Sirius dying. :( ~Carole~
That was very good
Author's Response: Thank you very much. It's one of my favourites because of the bittersweet ending. ~Carole~
nice, although i think petunia wouldnt be that soft to magic
Author's Response: She was only soft at the end. And JKR did say she wanted to tell Harry she knew what a tough job he had ahead of her. There was some remorse there, certainly. Thanks for reading. ~Carole~
nice, although i think petunia would be that soft to magic
Author's Response: Thank you
Oh wow Carole, I see why this won a QSQ, I've got shivers all over. What an amazing Marauder era story.
Author's Response: Thanks Elene, I must confess, I get shivers still when I read the end. ~Carole~
I really enjoyed reading this story. It was a creative and original idea and very well written. I liked how you returned to the present at the end of the story. Good Job:)
Author's Response: Thank you for the review. Mmm, the end caught me by surprise. I was going to leave it as a jokey light hearted end, but then I thought about the veil itself and how it was possible that Petunia still had it. I think deep down she loved her sister, but why she left it so late to show Harry, I don;t know. *sigh* Carole
Author's Response: Thank you. ~Carole~
Oh my God, Carole, this was completely fantastic. The characterization was perfect, the imagery was vivid, and I can only leave it at that because I can't find the right words to explain how brilliant this was and how much I loved it. The ending made me a bit teary-eyed too, with packing the veil away and having to leave... Oh my God. I'll end this here XD Becca:D
Author's Response: Wow! thanks Becca. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. To tell you the truth, I still get teary eyed at the end of this, but then I always do when writing James/Lily because they died far too young *sob*. ~Carole~
Great story! I like the way you portrayed Petunia, Lily, and James. And Sirius, *lol* He probably had a blast with that little trick. I wonder how things would be different if Petunia was a witch too...
Author's Response: I imagine she wouldn't have been jealous of Lily, but would probably have been a right show -off. I imagine her to be like Percy at his worst ... and not a Gryffindor. Thanks for the review. ~Carole~
This one actually made me weep a bit - but I'm a bit of a softie to be honest when it comes to good fics. The last time Petunia saw her sister should've been a good time, and it was, until Vernon's obesity spoilt it. I loved the note from Sirius at the end - really sweet. The dog disguise and how Lily and James covered for Sirius was really funny. I think this fic showed a bit of the compassionate side of Petunia - a side not really shown in the books.
Great job, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. I have to confess that I went rather blurry eyed myself when I wrote the last section about her packing away the veil and knowing she has to leave Privet Drive.It was a shame that Vernon being fat (and vain for not getting the suit altered) ruined what should have been a reconciliation. Thanks again ~Carole~
I love this story! I've always pictured Petunia's feelings being pretty complex, especially about Lily. I love how you captured that. My favorite moment was when she was about to reach out to James and ask him to sit and talk to her--but then Lily appeared on the stairs and James only had eyes for her. To me that seems to sum up Petunia's life. The attention was always going to be on Lily. Maybe that's why she was attracted to Vernon--because he would never want someone "abnormal" like Lily.
As the story was near the end, I was about to cry--and wondering if Petunia ever remembered all this in relation to Harry. And then you gave us the little bit about Harry and the Dursleys leaving Privet Drive. Brilliant ending!
Any time you want to give us more about Petunia and the Dursleys, I'm all for it!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review, Chocolate. I'm very pleased you picked up on Petunia reaching out to James but then getting ignored. I think jealousy was such a strong part of the sisters' relationship - which is very sad. And yes I think part of the attraction of Vernon was that he would have hated Lily's 'abnormality'. Thanks again - Carole
That was really lovely, Carole! You are such a master at MWPP characters. James and Lily really sparkle - they work so well together, it's adorable! The bits with the dog/Sirius were great too - especially when he was sitting outside smoking and James chased him away. Oh, that made me smile!
Really, though, the best part was Petunia. I can't say I like her anymore than I do later on, but you've fleshed her out and given her some depth. Vernon's family in particular really shows us how she became the character we know in PS - great job. And one wonders why Petunia was so drawn to Vernon, when she shows flickers of regret here. I did feel for her, and Lily too. You are such a talented writer, I'm glad I finally read this - good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thank you. I did find it quite hard to write Petunia sympathetically, so had to stop back from a lot of what we knew about her later. I didn't care about Vernon - ha ha - I'm sure he was always horrible. Glad you liked Sirius, I couldn't leave him out. ~Carole~
wow i absolutely love this one!!!
Author's Response: Thank you. ~Carole~