Amazing how Snape is a lot like Voldemort, yet he is the better man! Still, why do people need to be so stubborn? Poor Sev...
I loved this short little story! But it's scary to think that he was a Death Eater by this time. :/ did e know then that he would bring about Lily's death? How tortured and guilty he must feel!
Anyways, I feel like you captured the emotions so well! Keep up your writing. :)
To be truthful, I’m a rather huge fan of Severus/Lily and I really enjoyed your story.
You are an incredibly talented writer- as seen from your vivid descriptions and wide range of vocabulary.
“It’s a small town; bad news travels fast,” he echoed.
I just absolutely love how Severus threw back Lily’s words- practically in her face.
‘’I will shed no tears over a woman to whom I was little more than an irritation.”
It was so heart-breaking. Severus simply didn’t mean what he said. Yet, he had to put on a cold front and demeanour, just to show Lily.
Generally, the pace was smooth and I really like your overall characterisation- especially Snape. His dialogue fits his personality and any reader can clearly identify his character traits.
Keep writing !
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I think Severus tends to put on less of a front with Lily than with the rest of the world, but there's always some degree of a façade, even with her.
I have never been a huge fan of Lily, and yet I was always a Lily/Snape shipper. I think it's because whenever they discussed the good in Harry, it was always when he was being compared to his mother. And I thought, If she’s so good, why didn't she accept Snape's apology? But later I came to accept that Lily had to draw a line and Snape needed to grow up. You have managed to capture the essence of Lily and Snape at a crossroads.
What I think I like the most about this fic is the characterisation of both Snape and Lily – especially Snape.
The briefest glimpse of shock flashed through his eyes, all but invisible had she not known him as she once did, before he schooled his expression. The only hint remaining of any emotion was a slight tightening around his eyes and a thinning of his top lip, which paled at the tautness.
This was just a perfect description of Snape: cold, in control, quickly recovers. You don't make Snape some emotional young boy in the presence of Lily, which I greatly appreciate.
What she had not expected was this impersonally cruel tone, as if she had done him – or perhaps society itself – some vague and nebulous wrong to which he had no immediate personal connection.
Not only do I approve how Snape reacts to Lily’s presence (in a negative way), I like how Lily responds to his tone. In my mind, Snape has every right to be angry with her: she broke off all ties, said she couldn’t be his friend any more, and now she comes out of nowhere to 'pretend' for just one day? As much as I believe Lily to be a caring person, sometimes she appears cruel – toying with Snape (even if that's not her intention).
“Don’t push me away,” Lily urged him gently. “I know you’re hurting. I understand that. You don’t have to pretend it’s all fine. She was your mother; you’re allowed to grieve.”
“You don’t understand anything. You never did understand half as much as you thought.”
Snape is so vindicated in saying this. I’m going to stop myself before I wind myself up into a rant. So I will end by saying that I think you did a great job here creating a moment that could have very well been part of JKR’s tale. ^^
Author's Response: Thanks for the lovely review, Lia
This was quite a challenge to write in some ways, especially because whilst I was writing from Lily's POV, I didn't want her to be entirely sympathetic, and you caught what I was going for perfectly. She goes with the best of intentions but doesn't really think about what would be kindest to Severus and whether it's fair to just waltz back into his life for the day. It's always so gratifying when a reviewer clearly gets what I was trying to do with a story.
Oooh, I love the dark, mysterious feel to this. Your characterization is spot on, and you use elegant phrases to convey simple emotions that give this piece a very professional feel. Wonderful work!
Author's Response: Thanks, I love writing atmosphere into stories so I'm glad the dark, mysterious feel came across.
Now, I like this kind of Lily/Severus, because it just feels like something that really did happen. The dynamics between Lily and Severus are just amazing. There is the right balance of bile and regret and a bit of something else. They both know that things will never go back to the way they were, but they were indelibly linked via Lily's strange need to be there and Severus's inability to send her away and actually mean it.
Seeing Severus through Lily's eyes is really different. Normally, it's him fawning over her and angsting over being a git and ruining their friendship, even if it wasn't what he wanted between them in the first place.
Now you've gone and gave me a plot bunny. About Severus sodding Snape. I hope you're happy (haha, revenge on your part, perhaps)!
We will meet again. I'm pretty much banking on it.
Author's Response: It's something I really love - the possibility of some form of interaction between the pair of them after the 'Mudblood' incident. This just seemed like a perfect way to do that, because it doesn't change anything - it's just a pocket out of time where Severus needs something only a childhood friend could give him, even if he doesn't recognise it, and Lily's warm heart lets her put aside her own issues in the face of his grief briefly. But then tomorrow, he's still a DE; she's still in the Order; and their lives have to diverge again as if this never happened. I find it interesting writing Severus through Lily's eyes (much more so actually than writing her through his eyes because he has such an idealised view of her that she becomes a little flat), because I think she gives a very honest appraisal of him - she's one of the few people in his life to have thought him worth something and cared for him, but at the same time she's very aware of his flaws too. *tempts your Severus bunny with carrots* Seriously, this is how it happens - I had one bunny, just one, and then Severus never sodding well left; he just took up residence in my head with a cup of coffee and a sneer and started giving dictation and scaring my other plot bunnies away with glares and sarcasm. Thanks, as ever, Jess.
I like this story, it's very beautifully written and seems in character for both Snape and Lily. The dialogue especially is very compelling. However, the ending was a little confusing. I feel like like there should be something more. I know it says this story is complete, but I think you should write another chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm really glad you enjoyed the characterisation. I'm sorry you found the ending confusing, but I won't be adding another chapter, because as far as I'm concerned there isn't another chapter to their story. This is one moment out of time when their friendship can re-exist because of the specific circumstances, but like they acknowledge, the things that keep them apart like their differing alliances haven't changed so things will have to return to how they were and they will have t go their separate ways again.
awwww, I like it! That was always one of things that bugged me about the series was how their friendship could just stop. So sad! Good story!
Author's Response: I know what you mean. I kind of figured that no matter how their friendship ended, Lily would want to be there for him in a moment like that. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. ~Hannah
This was very nice. I like that there is still tension at the end. And I absolutely love this description : ...the weight of her broken friendship with the strange boy from the wrong end of town,
I really like that. The way an outsider would view Severus as the way to introduce him to the story, and not how Lily sees him. I really liked that. The whole thing was good though!
Author's Response: I love getting reviews where the reviewer has seen something in the fic that I hadn't necessarily even seen myself - I'd never really clicked that that line was Severus' introduction; I'd just wanted to emphasise the way the outside world viewed viewed Severus and their friendship. Thanks for the review. ~Hannah
Are you back? Are you?!
I liked how you made me believe this is the Snape that could be the one. But more than that, you made Lily human. I can imagine the complexity of thought involved in Lily-Snape relationship, but for me it seldom comes out in words. I loved how you pulled that out brilliantly. Especially the part where Lily defends herself. Bravo. "What would you have me do, Severus?" What a wonderful dialogue! It has that sort of pain in it, you know, that she might actually be saying 'go on what can I do so you'd think I have reprieved myself, I'm just so tired of this, us'. I loved how Lily came out so strong and courageous. Isn't that how she was described to us.
Author's Response: Yep, I'm back. :o) I'm really glad you thought Lily came across as strong and human, because I think she's a really hard character to write, because she so often comes out as a bit of a cardboard cut out in fics. I'm glad you liked the dialogue too, because this was a really dialogue-driven fic for me when I wrote it (a lot of the other detail came after), and that weariness in Lily was exactly what I was aiming for. Thanks for the review, Akay. ~Hannah
I really like this story - really like how you have written Severus and Lily. That she is so generous and kind she went to be with her friend, still hoping for redemption for him. Excellent writing.
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I've always thought Lily would be the sort of person to care enough to put her anger aside if Severus really needed her, given the depth of the friendship they'd shared.