Minna, that is cool! It is sort of nightmarish, to be honest - so much repetition of the shadows and the clinging and the fear makes it rather dark and scary. What a mood! Nice job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Thank you :DD (omg this review is from FOREVER ago how have I not responded before)
I love this poem, Minna, and it astounds me that it has only one review. What in the name of Morgana?
The first thing that gripped – yes, gripped - my attention was the title. Nundu? When I first read about them, I was scared. They are just so lethal. However, I’d never consider writing a poem on them, less still a VILLANELLE! D: How do you guys handle with that villainy?
Anyway, getting on with ‘srs bzns’. The poem flows very well – I tried reading it out (quietly), and it has a nice rhythm to it. You definitely chose the best lines for the repetitions. Also, the words – clinging, stinging, bringing, etc. – created a chanting in my head so that I was swept along with the poem. As far as structure is concerned, I think it is a brilliant poem.
Moving on to the mood, the poem has a very dramatic feel. In my head, I could see a vivid picture of an African village, where the people are hiding and crouching in fear as the shadow of the beast looms large. It is almost like somebody is asking these questions as he or she waits for the inevitable death. You managed to portray the fear associated with the deadly Nundu very, very well; it is effectively captured, especially in the lines below:
From the noxious breath that's flinging
From the throats of beasts - their guise:
Teeth flash white and fear is singing,
Burning in our lungs and thighs,
Excellent work, Minna! Original and wonderful to read. May I request one on Lethifolds? :)
Hey, Natalie, thanks so much for the review.
On Nundus and writing a villanelle about them - honestly, when I learned about them I was told "a villanelle is a nightmare" and I wanted to write a villanelle, and I wanted to try my hand at Potterverse poetry, so I thought "Potterverse nightmare" and my first thought was Nundus. God, they sound horrific. I remember vividly playing an imaginary game once where we were attacked by Nundus - I think I was half scared for real even though we were pretending. xD
As for the comments on structure and mood: I can only say thanks, and blush quite a lot. I'm not especially experienced with poetry so I'm even more nervous about it than prose. I did want to create that fear and feeling of looming death, and I'm glad I accomplished that. =)
Again, thanks, Nat!
I had to write a villanelle in English class next year, so I know first hand how AWFUL the format can be -- yours was wonderful. It flows well - really like a song - and fits form perfectly without feeling tense or awkward. I really love "Do not go gentle into that good night" and I love this similarly, especially "As we try to breathe in, bringing/Scant relief - oh, help, arise!" GAH! I don't even know what to say but that is so cool. Great, great work.
Author's Response: Thanks. =) I actually find villanelles fun. I mean, don't get me wrong - like rhyming, I hate it when I'm doing it because it's a pain. But a lot of the time the results are worth it. Thank you so much for your review - you made me blush.