Reviews For Two Snakes Burning
Reviewer: Arenick
Date: 09/08/10 17:20
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very descriptive and you described the duel superbly. Short and precise but very good.

Reviewer: nevilleherosnape
Date: 09/07/10 12:50
Chapter: Chapter 1

Very good! You brought him to hell and back again!

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 09/04/10 16:08
Chapter: Chapter 1

EEP! Sorry about this second review, but I meant "the idea of a Slytherin being an Auror" in my previous review.

~Natalie.

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 09/04/10 16:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

Well, hello there!

That was an excellent first story. You handled the theme of revenge really well. In fact, I'd say that you were going for more subtexts than the story lets on in the first read - the idea of a Slytherin being a Death Eater, and the argument over using a Killing Curse (the worst Unforgiveable, according to canon). Liam was certainly made more interesting by the fact that he was a Slytherin, and he is resourceful, cunning and ambitious. The ending was also superb: it leaves the question hanging, and though for Liam, the answer is already apparent by his final decision, it addresses the readers' conscience and sense of judgement.

Another thing I liked was your narrative style. You went through the history of Liam's reason for seeking vengeance, and the night when he goes out to do it in just two thousand words by craftily interspersing the memories into the narrative. That is indeed a huge achievement!

I would have preferred a bit more on why Liam's mother was attacked by a Death Eater, plus the timeline of the fic. Since the villain here is a Death Eater and not a random sex-offender and murderer (for I gather there was sexual abuse involved in Mrs Larkan's murder), it would have been interesting to figure Liam's own history - was he involved in either war?

My other nitpick is that spells should always be italicized.

That said, this is a fantastic debut on MNFF archives. ;)

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks very much for that! Yeah, I typically dislike the whole 'Slytherins are evil' stereotype. That's why I prefer to paint the character in gray. The thought of revenge could easily consume any character, and this is simply how I felt one person may act upon it. I understand the need to italicize spells, too, but as you can see, I used italics in this story to connote the character's flashbacks, and didn't want any confusion. That noted, thanks again for reading and the review. ^^

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
A Ship to Wreck by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
And good God, under starry skies we are lostAnd into the breach we got tossedAnd...
The Apothecary and the Bane by Icarus Unbound 1st-2nd Years
The apothecary receives a visitor in the wizarding slums of London.
FEATURED
Twilit Confessions by ahattab33 3rd-5th Years
After returning from Australia with the Grangers, Ron realises the moment to...
Soul Sister by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
Ted and Andromeda have just eloped. So, they dance. A songfic featuring...
Time and Tide by minnabird 6th-7th Years
Filius has seen her all his life: the Woman. She has been drifting through time...
Footprints in the Sand by Equinox Chick 6th-7th Years
It was a summer like any other for Danny. He worked at his parents' Bed and...
Consolation by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
For years, Remus Lupin found comfort in the arms of Rosmerta Richardson...until...
Dangerous Liaisons by eternalangel 6th-7th Years
It was a dangerous game she was playing; Dorcas Meadowes knew it, but the exhilaration...
CATEGORIES