Reviews For All That I've Got
Reviewer: BrokenPromise
Date: 03/15/12 21:34
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Very good! I wish we knew more about Tom from the books... And that was very sneaky at the end, but perfect for him.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I do hope we learn more about Tom as a child; there are obviously far more experiences that shaped his character than what we see and he is fascinating to write about.

Reviewer: Belledeg
Date: 08/05/11 9:59
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Interesting insights on an intriguing character. Good job.

Author's Response:

-has a minor breakdown-

I should let you know, you are my favourite fanfiction author, so it means the world to me that you read and reviewed my writing. Thank you so much :)

Jess

Reviewer: I Heart Harry
Date: 08/03/11 23:37
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

This is the first Tom Riddle fic that I've read, and it was great ! I think you have really got his feelings and perspective right, and the recollection of what happened in the cave fit perfectly.
I hope you keep writing, I would definitely read more of your stories (:

Author's Response:

Thank you for the lovely review :) I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

I think that you should definatly read more Tom Riddle fics as some of them are amazingly well written. He is my favourite character as I find him so complex. Trying to get into his head is a mission on its own ;)

I do intend to write more but I have been exceedingly lazy lately and haven't finished anything :( Hopefully I will post something else in the next couple of months :)

Jess

 

 

-wonders if you are who I think you are...-

if so, flick me an email jess6452@hotmail.com, I have some fics to recommend ;)

Reviewer: Wicked Sapphira
Date: 06/21/11 15:56
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Hello! I enjoyed this story very much! I've always thought that the concept of Tom not being able to produce a Patronus due to not having any truly happy memories was interesting. Not to mention, it's probably true, although he does manage to (sort of) form a Patronus in the end. In addition to an intriguing plot, this story is cleverly and beautifully written. I find this fic to be highly realistic, and you flawlessly weaved this through canon. I can easily imagine that this actually occurred in canon, actually. Thank you for the great read! :)

Cheers,
Wicked Sapphira

Author's Response:

I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

I was curious about Tom being (as I imagined him) a high achiever who expects himself to be good at everything; finding out that he cannot do something, not because he doesn't have the skills, but because of his own personality and upbrining. I wondered how he would cope being put in that situation in front of the people who he does not want to see him fail.

Thanks for such a lovely review :)

Jess

...and randomly, you like MCR? Me too :)

Reviewer: Wicked Sapphira
Date: 06/21/11 15:32
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Hello! I enjoyed this story very much! I've always thought that the concept of Tom not being able to produce a Patronus due to not having any truly happy memories was interesting. Not to mention, it's probably true, although he does manage to (sort of) form a Patronus in the end. In addition to an intriguing plot, this story is cleverly and beautifully written. I find this fic to be highly realistic, and you flawlessly weaved this through canon. I can easily imagine that this actually occurred in canon, actually. Thank you for the great read! :)

Cheers,
Wicked Sapphira

Author's Response:

See above :)

Reviewer: Moony1998
Date: 09/27/10 23:26
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

nice

Author's Response: Thanks :)

Reviewer: littlewolf
Date: 09/19/10 1:33
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

i think your story is very nice =) i think you encapsulate riddle nicely. he's not yet so powerful that he thinks himself invincible, yet he entertains such notions. like every other overachiever, he takes failure very hard. and him, disguising his patronus, was totally in character. (weird that his prof didn't notice it though) his insecurity when he could not produce a corporeal patronus was very real - though i wonder why the prof expected them to do it at first try, expecto patronum is supposed to be a really hard spell. anyway i think the way you like riddle's past, present and future to explain when he started plotting the chamber of secrets, and the ever elusive story of cruelty to the kids, was simply awesome. i like it a lot.

still, i think that voldemort didn't seem as mean as i would think he would be in the cave. not mean enough to scare that two kids into silence forever. it would have been nice if you have included the snakes in that scene -he's a bit cruel, he might just call the snakes there and terrorize them - scare them into silence.

nonetheless, i think this is a really good story and a good insight into tom riddle's mind. =) love it.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the lovely review!

"i think that voldemort didn't seem as mean as i would think he would be in the cave"

Honestly I didn't want him to be too mean becuase it isn't too hard to scare little kids (not that i have experience lol) and i think he was just trying to scare them a little but because of tom's history, the children were also remembering everything else he had ever done to them and then imagining what he could do if he got madder. I don't know if that really came across though.

"it would have been nice if you have included the snakes in that scene"

oops. I should've thought of that lol.

I kinda wrote this story in two halves and in the wrong order so now that i look abck, some of the links aren't as strong as i wanted them to be.

I'm glad you enjoyed my writing :)

Jess

Reviewer: xBeccaxBlackx
Date: 09/12/10 4:47
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

"You bloody genius" J Raven. I was there during the constant scribbles and ideas while you were writing this and I am really pleased to see how it actually turned out in publishing. Keep it up, I'm looking forward to your next genius idea that will require me reading never ending pages of drafts.

Author's Response: Miss Black, you just made my night!!! But why oh why couldn't you wait till school tomorrow lol. Thanks so much Bex, you're the best!!!

Reviewer: Evora
Date: 09/09/10 10:57
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Congratulations on your first fic! This one-shot is one of the few treats concerning Tom Riddle. He stayed very much in character all throughout the story, so good work on that! :)

It is a canon statement that almost everyone in the Dark Lord’s circle cannot produce a patronus, and writing a story about Voldemort himself and his patronus problem and setting it during his year in Hogwarts was a brilliant idea. The way he thinks negatively of everyone and enjoying himself while he cause other people pain and humiliation was Tom Riddle down to the core. However, there are some things that didn’t quite suit me.

Tom keeping his diary in his pocket – now, that seems a bit childish, don’t you think? He’s very well-known to be good in finding excellent hiding places (i.e. Horcruxes), and keeping it with him everywhere he goes doesn’t fit well to his character. The story didn’t state that he brings it with him always, but I would have wanted to know why it was with him during his Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

‘Get a grip, you can do this. Everyone else has a memory. Everyone else...’

Riddle went to Hogwarts around the late 1930’s, I’m not too keen to accept that the phrase, ‘get a grip on yourself’, was used during that time. Another reason is that it doesn’t seem like what a proud, arrogant villain would say to himself. Don’t get me wrong, I do approve of Tom keeping his spirits up, but the phrase isn’t good enough for his character. Maybe try to rephrase it?

“Professor, I've just remembered, I was supposed the meet with Headmaster Dippet ten minutes ago. May I be excused?” Tom feigned.

Wonderful detail! Dumbledore was the one who got him from the orphanage but it wasn’t till Riddle was out of Hogwarts that Dumbledore became the Headmaster. Good to see that you have stayed in the realms of canon!

Failure was for Mudbloods and Squibs!

Another wonderful detail! Too see in Riddle’s mind, we mustn’t forget that he despised those who does not pure of blood (other than himself, of course). This was really a great detail.

The Flashback – that was really a creative scene to write. You based the problem to Tom’s ability to speak to snakes, and you progressed it with the use of his anger and spite. I do love the way you wrote how his mind works. His hate for the cries of little girls, and his pleasure for causing mayhem. I have to tell you that though it was said that he had an unnaturally excellent control over his magic, stopping his and the two other children’s fall is too powerful, even for the child Riddle, but I may be wrong. . .

“Thank you.” Tom lifted his foot off Dennis’s hand and swept out of the cave, leaving the younger children alone in the dark.

As a child, he was a very naughty boy that others feared. I think Tom saying ‘thank you’ is a bit far-off. I mean, he can be quite charming when he needs to, but this happened before Dumbledore came to tell him he was a wizard. Another thing is that I don’t see him mocking (I’m assuming he was mocking when he said that) by using polite responses as a child. But don’t get discouraged! I love how you wrote the whole story, and I’m merely pointing out the tiny bits that might help you on your way to being a more grasping author. I would also like to add that when incorporating flashbacks, it’s best to put it italicized so that it doesn’t get confusing (no, your story wasn’t confusing, don’t worry).

Just two more nitpicks:

“Get up” Tom snapped and he looked around him for an idea of what to do next.
“No, you’re insane” Dennis spat.

You need to place a comma right after the last word of each of their quotation.

My favourite would have to be the last part. Seeing himself disarrayed unnerved him, and it was such a fantastic detail for you to add the mirror. He got mad at himself for appearing so weak, and I think cursing the mirror was just a great, great way to show his depth. When you described the students having never felt such raw power radiating from a person, I was really impressed. That was a simple yet firm description of his entrance to the classroom. I imagined him looking smug, but handsomely so. Now, his patronus trick was just plain ingenious! That was absolutely Tom Riddle, the Slytherin heir! I just love that part, and of course, he would pick a snake to represent him. Again, that was amazingly in-character. Excellent job! I hope you keep writing, goodluck!

Author's Response: Hi Dinny I told you I would reply eventually. Sorry it took so long, I was writing a huge reply (though not a long as your review! Thanks ;)) Tom keeping his diary in his pocket Ė now, that seems a bit childish, donít you think? Heís very well-known to be good in finding excellent hiding places (i.e. Horcruxes), and keeping it with him everywhere he goes doesnít fit well to his character. The story didnít state that he brings it with him always, but I would have wanted to know why it was with him during his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I agree that Tom was very good at finding hiding places but I also think it would be hard for him to hide anything while still at school. In Slughornís memory, Harry notes that Tom is wearing the ring and has therefore already killed his father. If we assume that Tom Riddle Snr was the murder to create the ring horcrux then he had no problem keeping it on his person. Also Tom was a thief when he as younger, I assume that he would therefore have a distrust for others as they might want to steal from him (especially after four years of living with Slytherins). My little brother steals my pens (sad, right) and I have found that keeping them with me most of the time is the best way to keep them safe. I doubt Tom would trust the magic of the Head Boyís room to keep his most prized possessions safe, especially with Dumbledore being a teacher and presumably knowing all the passwords. Riddle went to Hogwarts around the late 1930ís, Iím not too keen to accept that the phrase, Ďget a grip on yourselfí, was used during that time. Another reason is that it doesnít seem like what a proud, arrogant villain would say to himself. Donít get me wrong, I do approve of Tom keeping his spirits up, but the phrase isnít good enough for his character. Now that I look back, I defiantly agree. I suck at different time periods. Do you think the Ministry would let me have a time turner for fanfic research purposes? Lol I have to tell you that though it was said that he had an unnaturally excellent control over his magic, stopping his and the two other childrenís fall is too powerful, even for the child Riddle, but I may be wrong. . . Hmmm, I think youíre right. Iíve changed that a bit now, thanks ďI think Tom saying Ďthank youí is a bit far-off. I mean, he can be quite charming when he needs to, but this happened before Dumbledore came to tell him he was a wizard. Another thing is that I donít see him mocking (Iím assuming he was mocking when he said that) by using polite responses as a child.Ē True, i never thought about that but youíre right, it is out of character. Iíll change it, thanks. You need to place a comma right after the last word of each of their quotation. Ah commas, the bane of my existence lol. I either put too many, not enough or use them to cause massive run on sentences. Thanks for the tip. Finally, thank you for the amazingly long review. You made some wonderful points and helped me a lot. Iím really glad you enjoyed my story and I canít wait to read more of yours. Also thanks for ghosting me :) Jess

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 09/09/10 1:33
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Great story, especially for your first go! Tom's character was portrayed very nicely, and you showed his inner conflict well. The idea for the story was creative.

Instead of saying 'FLASHBACK', perhaps you could just put it in italics? (To me it was quite obvious that it was a flashback, and having that written there sort of ruined the flow a bit).

'Professor Merrythought gave him a look that was far too calculating for Tom’s liking. Did she suspect? Could she tell he had nothing happy to remember?' this line seemed a little out of character for the Professor - for the rest of the fic she seems to believe Tom is a fantastic student... it seems like more the kind of thing Dumbledore would think had he been there.

But anyway, they're just small things and it was a really great story, I hope you write more!

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, I've made a few changes where you suggested them. Youíre right about it seeming too much like Dumbledore, so Iíve changed it to a couple of Ravenclaws. Your help is greatly appreciated :) Jess

Reviewer: majestic_ginny
Date: 09/09/10 0:31
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Wow.. this was awesome. I loved the way you portrayed Tom in this fic. He was totally in character. I also loved your description of what Tom did to Amy and Dennis back then. Really creative. And as for the ending, I really liked how you made him cheat. Entirely like Lord Voldemort. And the last line was really intriguing. Awesome ending! Overall, the fic was great, and for a beginner, you're really great! I loved this :) Keep on writing more! :)--Nadia

Author's Response: Wow Nadia, compliment overload lol, thank you so so much. I honestly will try to write more but it's taken me like three years to actually put something online so it could be a long wait (or not). -Jess

Reviewer: Kaiserin
Date: 09/08/10 20:08
Chapter: Everyone Else Has A Memory

Quite impressive and highly suitable of Tom Riddle to cheat right in front of everyone. Of COURSE he never managed to cast a patronus! The looser!

Great one-shot!

Author's Response: Well, I wouldnít call him a loser, but I love that you have an opinion! Thanks for reviewing, and also for being the first response ever :) you made me very happy Jess

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