Reviews For It Could Never Be
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 10/30/10 0:27
Chapter: It Could Never Be

Gina, this flows so effortlessly, and evokes so much. There's no faltering or clunky rhymes - it's perfect.

One crit: where's the dialogue? (runs away)

Um, seriously, explain why you don't have a thread in PA. Your poetry is so good, you should join us. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! I don't know about perfect, but I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, I suppose, mostly because it was just so unexpected! Sorry there was no dialogue, is that even possible in a poem? LOL! *runs away from PA question* Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate the lovely review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 10/29/10 13:24
Chapter: It Could Never Be

I know you still have your doubts and all that about it, but this really is a fantastic poem. The iambic pentameter is absolutely flawless, and it beautifully escapes the trap of sacrificing content for structure. It flows so perfectly, and every syllable is just right to set up a steady rhythm, which in itself lends even more to the concept of the poem.

A kiss destroys, chaste feelings all undone:
Lips crash, cry out a frantic song of lust.
They quickly join their burning flesh as one,
Their consummation sealed by one last thrust.

This is without a doubt my favourite part. It is just so real and emotive, and I can't help but feel like I'm there (in that non-creepy, non-voyeur way, of course). There is just so much bang packed into that verse, and it's it serves almost as a climax, leaving the last two lines to be that feeling of floating back down to earth and landing in a puffy little pile of denial, like prior restriction just doesn't exist for them, the couple of the reader's choice. Then again, I think you know who came into my mind. :D

Awesome, fantastic, and gorgeous sonnet, dear, and I'm so glad you posted it so I could praise it in public. You are truly gifted in the art of structural poetry.

~Jess



Author's Response: Wow, Jess, thanks so much! What an amazing review. I'm actually pretty happy with how this turned out--it's just not much compared to some of the other stuff out there today. I really enjoy writing poems with such strict rhythm, at least when I actually get the inspiration to write poetry. For some reason, I was inspired to write this poem and it came really quickly. Thanks for the suggestion on that one line, it's perfect. And thanks for the great review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 10/29/10 13:17
Chapter: It Could Never Be

Oh gosh! This year's birthday is the best!

What a fantastic poem, Gin Gin. You're right - it can be about everybody. And yes, you're right again - I do enjoy other pairings a lot. :) Love the final couplet. Really, really fitting.

Thanks a lot! I love it.

*hugs* and

Author's Response: You are very welcome! I'm glad you liked it. I really did have fun writing it, it's been a while since I've written a poem like this. Hope you are having a happy birthday!! ~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Prisoner by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
A prisoner of Azkaban reflects on what is and what could have been. Little...
Harry Potter and the Sinister Plot by weasley-malfoy-aficionado 3rd-5th Years
Patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade one snowy day Ron encounters an unexpected...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Come Home by WrenWinterSong 1st-2nd Years
Three year old Teddy Lupin ponders the photographs on the living room side table.
But You Haven't Lost Me Yet by Dawnie 6th-7th Years
The war with Voldemort comes and goes, and James and Lily find themselves struggling...
broken brights by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
Harry's breath catches when he thinks of Ginny. I am not JK Rowling and...
CATEGORIES