Reviews For It Could Never Be
Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 10/30/10 0:27
Chapter: It Could Never Be

Gina, this flows so effortlessly, and evokes so much. There's no faltering or clunky rhymes - it's perfect.

One crit: where's the dialogue? (runs away)

Um, seriously, explain why you don't have a thread in PA. Your poetry is so good, you should join us. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Thanks, Carole! I don't know about perfect, but I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, I suppose, mostly because it was just so unexpected! Sorry there was no dialogue, is that even possible in a poem? LOL! *runs away from PA question* Thanks for reading this, I really appreciate the lovely review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 10/29/10 13:24
Chapter: It Could Never Be

I know you still have your doubts and all that about it, but this really is a fantastic poem. The iambic pentameter is absolutely flawless, and it beautifully escapes the trap of sacrificing content for structure. It flows so perfectly, and every syllable is just right to set up a steady rhythm, which in itself lends even more to the concept of the poem.

A kiss destroys, chaste feelings all undone:
Lips crash, cry out a frantic song of lust.
They quickly join their burning flesh as one,
Their consummation sealed by one last thrust.

This is without a doubt my favourite part. It is just so real and emotive, and I can't help but feel like I'm there (in that non-creepy, non-voyeur way, of course). There is just so much bang packed into that verse, and it's it serves almost as a climax, leaving the last two lines to be that feeling of floating back down to earth and landing in a puffy little pile of denial, like prior restriction just doesn't exist for them, the couple of the reader's choice. Then again, I think you know who came into my mind. :D

Awesome, fantastic, and gorgeous sonnet, dear, and I'm so glad you posted it so I could praise it in public. You are truly gifted in the art of structural poetry.

~Jess



Author's Response: Wow, Jess, thanks so much! What an amazing review. I'm actually pretty happy with how this turned out--it's just not much compared to some of the other stuff out there today. I really enjoy writing poems with such strict rhythm, at least when I actually get the inspiration to write poetry. For some reason, I was inspired to write this poem and it came really quickly. Thanks for the suggestion on that one line, it's perfect. And thanks for the great review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: hestiajones
Date: 10/29/10 13:17
Chapter: It Could Never Be

Oh gosh! This year's birthday is the best!

What a fantastic poem, Gin Gin. You're right - it can be about everybody. And yes, you're right again - I do enjoy other pairings a lot. :) Love the final couplet. Really, really fitting.

Thanks a lot! I love it.

*hugs* and

Author's Response: You are very welcome! I'm glad you liked it. I really did have fun writing it, it's been a while since I've written a poem like this. Hope you are having a happy birthday!! ~Gina :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Green Knight Rises by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
In Creevey Wizard Comics, the Green Knight aids those in need under the cloak...
The Deathly Children by teh tarik 6th-7th Years
Summer, 1899. In the village of Godric's Hollow, the Dumbledore family is falling...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
FEATURED
Whatever Happened to Saturday Night by Simply Being 3rd-5th Years
A short tale of the Marauder's friendship and its subsequent demise. Songfic...
Love is Like a Wrong Turn on a Cold Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
Michael Corner muses on his short-lived relationship with Daphne Greengrass...
Maps by the opaleye Professors
Tell me, is the rose naked Or is that her only dress? -Pablo Neruda Four...
Pineapple in the Library by 1000timesingoldenink 1st-2nd Years
It's late on a Sunday evening, and Neville has a couple of questions...Why is...
CATEGORIES