Reviews For Shattered
Reviewer: Dracoisbeast
Date: 02/11/13 16:44
Chapter: Shattered

1. Try not to cry
2. Lay down
3. Cry a lot

Author's Response: I'm sorry you cried. Would it help to know that your review made me smile? Not because you cried, just the way you wrote it, lol. Thank you so much for reading this story! I really appreciate the review. Here is some Kleenex. ;) ~Gina :)

Reviewer: hurricanepotter2
Date: 04/22/12 19:45
Chapter: Shattered

IT IS AWSOME I HOPE U DECIDE TO DO MORE!!!!!!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it! As for more to this story...no, it's quite over. But I've got quite a few other stories on the archive I hope you might consider! Thanks again for the review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: KYKid942
Date: 04/17/12 22:49
Chapter: Shattered

This was very moving. I have a family member suffering from dementia, and it hurts so much to see the woman I knew slipping away. It seems you know this pain, too.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Although I have not been through anything similar recently, when I was younger my grandmother did suffer from Alheimer's disease, and I do remember how hard that was for everyone. Thank you again for reading this story, I know it can be a tough read for some. I appreciate the note! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Harmthuria
Date: 04/12/12 12:33
Chapter: Shattered

Damn, this is sad, but good.

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, it is sad, but I'm glad you found it well done none-the-less. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing this story, thank you!! ~GIna :)

Reviewer: PeppermintToads
Date: 04/11/12 22:14
Chapter: Shattered

This was probably one of the most depressing stories that I have ever read, but I strangely liked it. Good writing and detail, good play on Ginny's emotions about the whole thing, and a good central plot.

Author's Response: Wow, one of the most depressing? I never would have pegged one of my stories for that honor, lol. But yes, it is very sad. I'm still occasionally surprised I wrote something quite so dark, but sometimes challenges inspire us. I'm glad you liked it for all it's tragedy. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing this story, thank you!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Padfoot11333
Date: 02/01/12 1:20
Chapter: Shattered

Hey Gina ,

This story was so many things. You could say that it was heartbreaking, which it was, or beautiful, which is also was. I hate the idea of this, but at the same time, it’s brilliant and I love it. It’s absolutely excruciating to think of Harry dying this way and I think Ginny was a perfect perspective to tell it from.

At the beginning of the story I thought it was told from Ron’s POV, because even though Ginny was his wife, I think Ron knew him better than Ginny did at that point in time, since Ron really knew what he was feeling and going through. I thought the second person tense was done really well; it really got you into Ginny’s mind, and I think you really needed to have that in order to really understand what Ginny was going through.

I also thought the present tense was done well. I kind of think that if you had told it in past tense, it would have seemed like Ginny was reflecting on what happened and feeling kind of hollow afterwards, if you could say that. But since it was told in present tense, you saw everything the moment it was happening, which made it a lot more heartbreaking.

I thought this was just a really interesting outlook on Harry”you rarely see him weak, or even sick at all, and even though I know this wasn’t a character study, it almost felt like one (and I mean that as a highest compliment!) In a story such as this, you really have to nail the characterisation, and you did so. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is related to Alzheimer’s disease either, because I always feel like that happens to the person you would least expect it to, and that definitely occurred with Harry.

I did think it was a little odd that you made up a spell, but not bad. A lot of the time when people make up spells (especially that lovely contraceptive charm) they have no good reason for it other than the fact that it exists, and I liked that Ginny didn’t believe in it at first.

I loved this line: Your father watches over the family, trying to stay strong, but it is hard; you have already lost so much, and now you are all losing Harry. I did think it was interesting that Arthur was really the one watching over them. He was a wonderful man, but he wasn’t the one to stay as strong as he could; you definitely saw Arthur’s weak spots.

The ending of this was satisfying in a way, but in an awful way. I feel a little happy for Harry that he got put out of his misery (imagine going through that!) but also terrified for Ginny. I loved the last few words: he is gone”shattered. And so are you. I hate to think what Ginny would go through after Harry’s death.

Anyway, this was just a really fulfilling story, and I’m glad I clicked on it while perusing the archives, because it was a wonderful, if heartbreaking, read.

Lily xxx

Author's Response: Lily - a very belated thank you for the amazing, lovely, wonderful review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! And I totally get the "I hated the idea of it/loved it" feeling because I remember feeling sort of the same way when I was done with it. Kind of like - what have I done? What did I just write?? But it just flew from my fingers, I remember that. I'm glad the spell didn't put you off too much. I happen to like inventing cool spells, lol. And there needed to be a pretty powerful spell for this to happen. The present tense was definitely intended to make it more immediate, more intense - the second person surprised me, though. And again, I'm glad it didn't put you off too much. Yes, the end is heartbreaking. Think how close it could have been to happening - no Harry! No James, Albus, and Lily! Eep! I don't tend to explore major AU much, but this was one I couldn't resist. Thanks again for reviewing, it made my day when I read it (and I've read it so many times since!) ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Ye_Merry_Hippogriffs
Date: 07/20/11 0:24
Chapter: Shattered

Oops, sorry. I meant to say,"While I hate the thought of Harry dying in such a long, painful way, your story was brilliant.". Thanks again for your fic!

Author's Response: Hee hee, and thank you once again for the review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Ye_Merry_Hippogriffs
Date: 07/20/11 0:23
Chapter: Shattered

Wow. Frankly, I'm blown away. While the thought of Harry dying in such a long, painful way, your story was brilliant. It is almost better than JKR's version, although if she had written something like this instead of the Epilogue, we would all be traumatized. I wish you had developed more on the scene in the battle instead of focusing on Ginny's relationship with Harry, but other than that, it was fantastic. Please, please, PLEASE keep writing! -Caroline

Author's Response: Hi there, Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm so glad you enjoyed this, dark as it is. I can't imagine if JKR had ended with something like this! O.o I didn't really do much with the battle because with the tense the focus was on the present, and that was just a flashback to establish what had happened. As I have told many others, I have no plans to stop writing, so I hope you might check out some of my others stories someday. Thank you so much for the review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: littlewolf
Date: 05/15/11 21:31
Chapter: Shattered

this is so so so sad =((( i'd like you to know that i rarely cry, but this was so moving that i cried. a big part of ginny died with harry, right? i find the use of the second-person perspective oddly apt. maybe it's just in my twisted mind, but i think ginny stopped being herself when harry turned all fragmented due to that spell. =(( i was reading the notebook today, and there was an element that echoed with this story (alzheimer's), but this was so much sadder. brilliantly written, but oh so sad! ='(

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review. It is sad, I know. I always sort of thought Harry wouldn't survive the seventh book. He did, but there had to have been consequences. This was one of them, and possibly the worst. I'm glad you liked the second person POV, since it just came to me like that and had to be that way. Thanks again for the review, I really appreciate it! *hands over tissues* ~Gina :)

Reviewer: GinnyPottterGranger
Date: 05/01/11 14:10
Chapter: Shattered

i dont even know where to start. it was very painful for me to read about the bitter irony of harrys soul shattering. literally painful, my chest was hurting. i cried like a baby when i read this, and again when it crossed my mind later that night. i dont think i ever cried that much for a fanfic. but dont take that as a bad thing, i really loved your story. beautifully sad, were the words that crossed my mind. anyway, keep writing! :)

Author's Response: Wow, I don't even know what to say. I sort of want to give you a hug for making you cry so much! It is a very sad thing to imagine happening to Harry. I'm glad you liked the story, although sometimes I feel bad for making people cry! Thank you so much for reading this, I really appreciate the lovely review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: candygrl1696
Date: 03/26/11 3:32
Chapter: Shattered

thats so sad but that totally could have happened becuz he did help sheild nevil poor ginny

Author's Response: I know, it's very sad, and it so easily could have happened to anyone there. I have some other ideas about that battle as well. Thank you for reading this story, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: potterwatch97
Date: 02/28/11 18:27
Chapter: Shattered

Beautiful. Amazing. I cried. lol :)

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, though I'm sorry about the tears. It is sad, though. Thanks so much for reading and leaving a review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: grangergirl35
Date: 02/17/11 16:44
Chapter: Shattered

whoa. that's all i can say, that's all i can think when i read this . . . just . . . whoa. that's something none of us expected . . . riveting. i enjoyed it a great deal :D

Author's Response: Thank you! I understand your reaction, because sometimes I still look at this and think, "I really wrote this? Yikes!" :) I'm glad it was unexpected, and I'm glad you enjoyed it none-the-less. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Phoenix13
Date: 02/16/11 22:07
Chapter: Shattered

Wow. I almost like this better than canon. Is that terrible of me? It's so...well, dark, and very different than JKR's "all was well."

Very well done. The flow was excellent, the emotions resonated, it was not superficial; I think if you'd put a cure in, it wouldn't be nearly as good. The last sentence, especially, knocked the breath out of me. Absolutely heartwrenching.

I love your writing--please keep it up!

--Alyssa

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! You know, the idea of a cure never really occurred to me. That was always how it was going to end. I can see how one might like it better than canon: I for one totally thought things would turn out a little less neat than they did. Of course, had this happened, there would be no Next-Gen category for us to write and Post-Hogwarts would be a bit dull as well, so in a way I'm glad it didn't. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I really appreciate the review! And yes, I will keep it up - been doing this for four years and can't seem to stop! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Date: 01/04/11 4:20
Chapter: Shattered

Can you believe it’s taken me this long to get around to reading not only angsty, screwed up, post-war Harry, but one that you wrote? Jess fails in that regard, Twin. For that, I can only apologise. Oh, and leave you a much better review. :D

It’s so difficult to put into words how I feel about this story. It would seem weird if I said it was lovely or fantastic, because that would make me seem a bit sadistic, deriving enjoyment from someone slowly losing his mind in the worst way possible, but I do love it — so very, very much — because of these things.

As you know, I have always held that there is no earthly way that Harry could walk out of the Battle thinking of sandwiches and kittens and rainbows. I think he woke up from that nap in a completely different state of mind. This story is almost a realisation of the most extreme instance of how things could have turned out: dark, diseased, destitute, and damned.

At first, I thought that the ‘you’ was Ron, since he was the closest Weasley to Harry (despite what those ebil canon shippers say), but I actually found it a pleasant surprise to be wrong. I mean, it sounded like Ron, but there was something a bit off about it, almost too reverent toward Harry and their past together. Ginny was far more apt in this role, and I’m glad you chose her.

One detail that almost slipped by me is when you said ‘even George’. I’m glad you share my views on post-war George being rather detached and screwed up, almost like how Harry was in my mind. It’s scary when we commiserate on our characterisation views and find so many commonalities in them and how we think such and such characters turned out, and George is a perfect example of that. And all of that dark speculating fits so marvellously well into this fic, which is almost an incarnation of the worst case scenario past wondering about Kreacher bringing Harry a sandwich.

During the fic, I hypothesised that maybe when Harry had come back from King’s Cross, he was so singularly focussed on his mission that when that was over, something in his brain snapped, like a robot awaiting its orders but doesn’t get any, sending it into ‘TILT’ mode. I was far more impressed with your version, though. What a clever way to construct this scenario, taking something that happened in canon but adding a new twist to it to create your alternate reality.

What an insidious device, this spell. There is a reason that there are two other spells which are ‘Unforgivable’ that aren’t the most blatant one (murder), and it’s because they both involve the mind. The Imperius is obvious in its connotations with the brain, and also the Cruciatus in how it can evoke madness in excess; spells which affect the mind are the worst sort, because they can take away something even more precious than the life force which does little more than plunge blood through veins. It violates what people are that makes them who they are, the ultimate wrong-doing, the most heinous attack. It escapes me how this inspired idea could surprise me, since I know how brilliant you are, but you constructed the perfect prison for Harry’s mind and by far the most sinister. Well done, you!

 

Using second person was a rather intrepid move. The same story could have easily been written in first person, but the masterful sustaining of the second person voice in this gave it the level of intimacy necessary to really put oneself into Ginny’s shoes and feel what she felt, hurt when she hurt, be angry when she was. I just really got the feeling of being there in the story, watching everything that made Harry the character I adore wither and die and, as you so aptly described, shatter.

I knew Harry was going to ultimately die, but when it happened, it felt cold and clinical to me, like waiting for an older relative to kick off after a long time, but when the grieving time is supposed to come, it sort of doesn’t, like I’ve made my peace with it already and the event itself is just the full stop at the end. I really like how you did that and covet it enormously. You took that scenario, that inevitability, and grafted such a potent sense of realism onto it. Go you!

In conclusion, after gushing this much, I honestly haven’t found anything that gave me pause or lessened my enjoyment of this story in the slightest. Every single detail, every plot point, was airtight and fabulous, and if it wasn’t past five in the morning, I’d go back and read it again. I hope this story gets podcasted at some point, because it would be brilliant to put this into my iPod and enjoy it on the go.

Thank you, Twin, for writing such a wondrous story. You are an inspiring author, and I know 2.0 will come soon!

~Jess

 


Author's Response: SQUUUEEEEEEE!! Thank you so much for the amazing review, Jess. Like, wow. First of all, I'm so glad you came by to read one of my stories, and I'm so so so glad it was this one! This was so different for me, writing a second-person AU fic like this. I definitely had my doubts. I really can't remember where I got the specific idea, except from the vague prompt for the PP challenge. I originally wanted to write the epic of doom for this prompt, but that's still going nowhere almost a year later. So I decided on a character death and ran with it from there. It came fast and quick and easy, really. It was definitely one of those stories that I just transcribed from the muses. I'm glad I brought the angst enough for you, since you are a master of angst yourself. And to think I wrote this in the middle of all sorts of J/L fluff - maybe that's why, lol. I can't believe you don't have any concrit. Ah well, I'll take the gushing. Thanks for the SBBC recommendation, as well. And once again, thanks for coming by to read this one, it means alot to me, twin! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: TigerDeus
Date: 11/22/10 23:11
Chapter: Shattered

Meant to mention also with the Neville thing, not only was he the other possible foretold Chosen One, but if this curse had hit him, it would have been even more sad considering his parents' fate.

Author's Response: That is a good point, and I will admit I had not thought of that. I do think my brain picked Neville for a reason, though, and that was probably one of them. Thanks again for reading this story! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: TigerDeus
Date: 11/22/10 23:04
Chapter: Shattered

Oh! Ouch! Very well written. Add me to the "usually doesn't like second person, but quit noticing it quickly" queue. I really appreciated such dark irony. Not only that it was Harry's soul that wound up shattered too after everything with Voldemort, but also that it happened to him when it very easily could have hit Neville instead...Neville, the other possible Chosen One.

You did such a great job of describing the illness. I can so relate to Ginny, watching someone she loves deeply become mentally ill and shift randomly between personas, forget things, drift off midsentence, get unreasonably angry. That happened to my husband when he was in his mid-20s, only a little older than Harry here. Unlike Hermione, an explanation was never found, only "unidentified neurological issues." He got better, briefly, until the alcoholism began to consume his soul instead. And that part lets me shake my head in sympathy at Harry's refusal to go to St. Mungo's after initially agreeing that he needed help. "Hitting bottom" appeared to happen after hurting the woman he loved, only to be ignored again once he was out of that immediate situation. Denial is so, SO frustrating to watch. So many more good, realisitic bits in here. My chest physically ached at the end. So sad. And beautiful. Sorry there's so much "me" in this review; it just really, really struck a chord.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the amazing review! I am starting to see how this story might resonate with readers who have gone through this. I'm glad you liked it, even though it is quite sad. And I'm very glad the second person pov didn't get in the way-I'm still waiting for a review that slams it, but that's just how the story popped out. Thanks again for reading this, I really appreciate your comments!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 11/22/10 5:23
Chapter: Shattered

Oh My!

Honest crit here. I was prepared to dislike the second person, and possibly leave you a review only because you're my friend ... but I can't do that.

This is, to put it simply, brilliant. I stopped thinking about the second person shortly after the second paragraph because this just flowed so well. There was nothing hectoring about the voice, it was natural and heartrending.

I love the fact that you included some minor details into the story (namely George visiting but not staying long) - they weren't essentila to the story, but they just provided so much subtlety to the story as a whole.

Personally, I related to this story because my father had dementia before he died, and I could see the Harry changes in personality very much as an uncontrollable illness that just leaves everyone around him bereft. I desperately wanted there to be a cure, but that was the daughter in me wanting a recovery. For the sake of the story it was much better that it ended with no cure. Death, by then, would have been a release.

Sorry, that's becoming very introspective. Glorious writing, Gina and just so incredibly sad. Thank you. ~Carole~

Author's Response: Ah, Carole - I've read this four or give times now, because it made my day. :D Thank you so much for the amazing review! I have to admit it was exactly the sort of review I was hoping for - one where the reader likes it anyway, in spite of the quirks. I know loads of people just don't go for this pov or tense, so I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I never even thought about how it might strike a chord with people who have gone through something like this with relatives, but I can totally see how it could. Thanks for taking the time to read it - I've been sitting on it so long that I really appreciate such a nice review!! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 11/22/10 0:06
Chapter: Shattered

This was really sad, but really well written. I love how you used second person - it made me feel really involved in the story, as if I was personally experiencing this. Using Ginny as your focalising character was also a nice touch, and that last line really sent chills down my spine.

I loved how you played with the reader's emotions - right until the end you make it seem like there's some hope, especially when Hermione finds something in a book, and then in the end it is heartbreaking.

I loved the spell as well - what an original and dark idea! And I loved the irony as well, that Harry's soul ends up fracturing into tiny pieces - almost as if he inadvertantly echoes Voldemort.

The only really tiny thing I didn't like so much was the opening paragraph. I can see that you were trying to give a sense of the setting, but it didn't draw me in so much. Sorry I can't really think of how you could have done it better... and anyway, by the end I'd almost forgotten about it because the rest was so amazing!!

One more thing - I really loved how Ginny's character came through, and how you showed her 'shattering' (for want of a better word) throughout the fic.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for such an amazing first review! I really appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the second person pov - I know a lot of readers don't, but it just came out that way. I find it heartbreaking as well. It was interesting to explore a 'what if?' for that Final Battle, especially since I really thought Harry might die at the time the last book was released. I don't know where I got the idea for the spell, but you are exactly right about how it mirrors Voldemort. It's bitter irony, something JKR didn't touch on much. I'm glad you kept reading in spite of the opening paragraph - I can see how it's a bit different than the rest of the story - thanks again for the lovely review!! ~Gina :)

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