First ever dramione I read where she chooses both, not one over the other (strictly). I have become a great fan of dramione, and I used to be somebody who was canon to the core. It's nicely done, albeit sad in the beginning. Her confusion was brought out very well
Author's Response: I am you enjoyed it, even if the beginning was melancholy. I'm not a big Dramione fan, so I didn't want Hermione to overtly choose Draco over Ron. Thanks so much for the review! :) xx Ariana
Aww, this is so great. :)
It's simple, it's cute, it's a little sad, and it's romantic-y.
I like it!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :) xx Ariana
It's really cute and emotional. But I think it would have been better if you showed a flashback to what exactly happened "that night." It would have made it more romantic. And the ending where they meet could've been more detailed and cute as well.
But overall I thought it was cute and I liked the plot about why she didn't want to love Draco.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for taking the time to review! A flashback would have been nice, I agree. It's just that I wasn't planning to go in-depth with their relationship, as I'm not really a fan of this ship (there are only a few people I would write a Dramione for and Elené is one of them :D). Thanks again for your lovely review! xx Ariana
Author's Response: Thanks! xx Ariana
It's great!!! I love it!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so grateful you took the time to review. xx Ariana
Short and sweet, but please keep in mind that present tense does not always lend immediacy to a story--rather, it implies confusion in the thoughts of the character, shifts in perception of time, etc. Please use sparingly.
As a huge Draco-Hermione fan, I'm okay with improbability sometimes. But watch how you use "love" in your stories. Lust and affection are different than love.
Also, please don't think I only mean to be rude. I think you have quite a bit of potential to mature into a fine writer.
Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for taking the time to review. Your comments are much appreciated, and I will take them into account if I ever decide to write another Dramione (which probably won't happen--haha). I have to disagree with you on the present-tense thing, it's always been a favorite of mine and I think it's just a matter of preference that doesn't always necessarily take away from a story. Again, thanks so much for your well-thought out review. xx Ariana
It was sweet :)
Author's Response: Thank you! xx Ariana
I like this. *beams*. Okay, I've read a few Dramniones, usually when I'm in a fighting mood - ha ha - and usually they're as implausible as hell, but this is good. You gave Hermione and Draco a reason to at least try and form a relationship, and you didn't ignore Ron. Okay, you killed him, but he was still there and was the most important stumbling block to Hermione getting together with Draco.
Draco is still essentially Draco, as well, so he hasn;t turned into a mush head consumed with love for her. He's still annoyed but is also supremely confident. Lovely Draco characterisation.
Great Christmas story, Ariana ~Carole~
Author's Response: Carole! Thank you so much for reviewing :). I'm so glad you liked the story, and especially Draco's characterization because I don't write him nearly enough to feel confident in doing so. Once again, thank you so so much for taking the time to review! xx Ariana
It's after Christmas, but your story definitely brought back some of the sparkle. :)
Present tense brings a sense of things happening as the reader reads, and I think you handled it extremely well. I do wish you'd worked in how Ron died, just briefly, in passing. Not only would it have made it more real and easier to connect emotionally with Hermione's loss, but not having any explanation is a distraction from the story, making the reader (at least this one) think, "Ron's dead? How? Cancer? Accident? Line of Duty for the Auror Office?" etc. etc. . . .
You did a nice job showing how guilty Harry makes her feel about Draco. I question her shutting the door with a bang, though. Especially an italicized one. She's so restrained, "Hermione pretends not to hear him as she brushes past" would be fine on its own.
The asterisks showing the change of scene along with the lack of transition or italics to show it was a dream was disorienting. I didn't know if it was a day in the future or a dream until Draco's image shimmered.
At the end, when she shows up at his house, while the scene itself is touching and romantic, Draco's initial reaction doesn't make sense. All she's said is she doesn't blame him for being a bit angry. Why, after he's softening over her wavering tone and coming close, would he say, "So this is it, then?" like he thinks she's come over to his house on Christmas morning to tell him she's "backing out after one snog."
I do like the touch of humor with Hermione coughing over the ash when she arrived, and the way seeing Draco in his pyjamas makes her realize it's Christmas morning was a great way to show she'd lost track of time.
Thanks for sharing the story!
Author's Response: First, thank you so much for taking the time to review :). I read your review on the spewswap site and both your praise *and* your crit is very much appreciated and I really do mean that. I was going to change a few things before posting, such as Ron's death and Draco's reaction, but the truth is I have little interest in Dramione and I had other things to write. Perhaps later I'll change some of the things, as you have very valid points. The only thing I would disagree on is the transition to a dream…the prompt was about how there is a very fine line between real life and dreams, and I wanted that sort of disorientation…but I can understand how it wasn't that helpful to the story :). Thanks again for your review!