Great plot twist, and I'm loving to see Eloise & Zach's relationship develop, however slowly ;)
Good to see this chapter.
Yay, welcome back!
I wanted a swift resolution to Cam's disappearance, mostly because Zach has never really been around kids and doesn't realise this is a thing kids do here and there. Plus, Eloise doesn't have kids, either, but cares about Cameron enough to kind of lose it when he is gone missing. Call it a lesson for both of them: Zach to 'level up' in parenting, and Eloise to maybe learn to be less high-strung about things that, in the end, are far less important than the kid being safe, happy, and healthy.
Let's see how that works out.
I love this take on Zacharius' character :)
I chose this method of characterisation because I kind of saw him as a little boy who never quite grew up. Hence the hordes of action men and Quidditch 'memorabilia' (*coughtoyscough*). That's also why I included Eloise in the story; she's a part of his rather shameful past but also has the capability to help make him a better person. They say you shouldn't try to change a person because people don't really change, but I maintain that Zach has it in him but just needs to scrape off a few layers of crust and sweaty socks to find it.
Anyway, there's a new chapter up if you're interested. Thanks for reading. :)
Can't wait for the next chapter!
A little late on my response, but I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I like arranging for irresponsible characters to come to an abrupt understanding that the world doesn't revolve around them, hehe.
Thanks for reading!
I once lost one of my off spring on a crowded beach in Cormwall. It was probably one of the most frightening five minutes of my life.
I'm pretty sure all of my parents' more frightful experiences with us were when we were tiny little jerks who would slip away at the grocery store or at some outdoor event. We'll call this a bout of character building for Zach, and perhaps he will maybe kinda realise that he cares about his little munchkin.
Thanks for reading!
I am getting a warm feeling from this story.
Author's Response: This is probably as close as I'll get to family-friendly entertainment (you've read my work; you know how that normally goes), so yay! ~Jess
Odd pairing. Interesting story.
Well, this is my attempt at a family friendly story. As you've seen in the past, that hasn't been a thing I typically do. I still haven't decided whether I want Zach and Eloise to actually be a pairing, but I do have another chapter of this ready to post for whenever there are a few other stories between this and my last posted fic.
This sounds like an interesting fanfic, but I'm a little confused as to how it really fits in to the Harry Potter series. I realize it takes place in the magical world, but I was just wondering, does it involve any of the characters from the series? I swear I'm not trying sound sound mean, I was just wondering. But anyway, it sounds interesting. Good job :D
Hmm, it's interesting that you don't see the actual Harry Potter connection, considering the main character is fairly prevalent in Order of the Phoenix and makes an appearance in Deathly Hallows, as well. Zacharias Smith (I call him Zach because the story is from his POV. No one with the name Zacharias would actually go by that name, lol.) was a member of the DA, albeit a reluctant and dissenting one. He was quite unimpressed by Harry, and he was, frankly, a bit of a douchebag. This is his comeuppance, hehe.
Anyway, thanks for reading. :D
HAHAHA! I cannot wait to see where this story goes. Brilliant start, Jess. You might succeed at making us like Smith just a little bit.
Well, no one's an a****** forever, not even dearest Draco. I thought that it was fitting for Amanda's story was about redeeming the incorrigible. :D
But fie on toddler antics for being hard to write, lol.
Ah Jess. So much potential! I can't wait to see how Zach fares with his sudden son. And that's because I CAN imagine how incredibly hard it would be to suddenly have a three-year-old and no idea what to do with him. They are a handful, lol! Today I said 'shoot!' when I forgot something and Sarah said 'Why did you say 'shoot'?' I'm sure I will hear it in the next day or so, which is my way of saying the bit about parroting the 'piss off' was dead on hilarious. And the way Cameron took the spider comment literally is also very true, as was Zach's reaction.
So where did you get the idea for this and why Zach? Why did he turn out to be such an arse? How far do you plan to take this?
My only advice would be to be sure you don't make Cameron sound too old. A three-year-old probably wouldn't be too nonchalant about his mum disappearing. Mine clings to me like a barnacle so he'd probably miss his mum and ask questions. Like, endless questions. And don't forget the tantrums. Merlin, the tantrums. ;)
Cute story, please do continue so I can laugh at Zach a bit more!
I read your review on my phone when I first got it, so fail for taking so long to respond, hehe.
I have no idea how far I intend to take this in terms of length, save for under 20K. In the story, I think a full circle ending woudl be good.
I'm glad you liked Cameron, and I loled at the 'piss off' part. And the nonchalance, i don't know if he yet understood that his mum wasn't coming back this time. Later, I will have Zach meeting with Mitzy and getting a bit more story on the kid, but sufficeit to say that Cameron wasn't unaccustomed to her not being around much.
I don't know if I could write a tantrum, tbh. It would either be mild or too melodramatic. Eep!
Thank you for your thorough review, as well as for reading my wobbly and disjointed reply. :D
What a fun and interesting premise, Jess. I usually sympathize with people who are struggling to gain the upper hand over their unruly toddler, but with Smith... I'm sort of cheering for Cameron to make him miserable, at least for a couple of chapters. ;)
Can't wait to see where you take this. I liked it!
Well, it's always good to give guys like him their comeuppance in a manner where they can't weasel out of it. And yeah, I cheered when my plot bunny farm concocted this idea. It's nice to twist some antagonist knickers. :D
Thanks for reading and reviewing one of my, er... not many family friendly fics, hehe.
:) Oh, Jess, how I love thee.
Poor Zach Smith- except I can't really bring myself to feel all that sorry for him, lol. Not yet, anyway. Being a father can obviously totally change a person, but we'll see if that's the case for the Puff-no-one-likes.
The moment in the elevator with Cameron repeating him- totally believable from watching my friend raising his kid and trying to kick his smoking and cursing habits. And it made me giggle.
I LOVED Betty. I hope she shows up again in the future! She was great!
Thanks for the birthday gift- and I'll have to keep coming back to check up on little Cameron, who was a total cutie. :) I'm really interested to see how this goes for Mr. Smith, because I have a feeling it's not going to be all smooth sailing...
*hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs*
Hehe, I think Cameron is going to bring the worst toddlerdom has to offer for Zach, even if it is mostly due to his own ignorance. Wait until the next chapter when Zach finds out that two year olds still wear diapers. XD
Ha ha ha ha ha - what a wonderful fic. I almost feel sorry for Zach when faced with the social worker. I definitely know what it's like having a 3 year old hanging around when I'm rather the worse for drink ... but Zach's a git, so he deserves the pain - hee hee.
I was giggling at his 'escorts' name. Mitzy is just so classy.
Great story, Jess. ~Carole~
This should be interesting to find out how or if Zach can adjust to daddy life. I agree that he so has it coming, and the social worker could sum him up in about three seconds.
I may have to pick your brain at some point for toddler behaviour. Children scare me, so I've not observed them much. DX
Top of the mornin' to you, EQ!
Pretty interesting plot here, Jess! Once again, you make me want to know more of this story. Plan on a bit more with another chapter? Great story as always!!!
Yeah, this story is another work-in progress. I just figured that, if I got a chunk of it up, the rest of it would come quicker. I've not written anything so... family friendly in a while, lol. It's a change, to be sure.
Thank you for dropping in, and stay tuned to find out what happens to the git we all knew and loathed. :D