Reviews For Tooth and Claw
Reviewer: expecto_patronuts
Date: 04/01/12 2:03
Chapter: The Woods

Follow this link quietly if you value your life.

http://fanfiction.mugglenet.com/reviews.php?type=ST&item=84504

Author's Response: I shall follow it loudly and with much shouting, oh mysterious one.

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/26/11 21:21
Chapter: Bluebells

I shouldn't feel sorry for Regulus, but I do. And I understand the "fun" you received from writing the afterlife scene. I had a lot of fun writing Memento Mori. :D

Lovely mystery. I really liked Bella a lot in this. The ending was almost Twin Peaks-ish, but then I love stuff like that. Well done, m'dear.

Author's Response: Oh, I think Regulus deserves our sympathy. He mad a mistake, admittedly a big one, but whichever way you look at it he definitely regretted his decision and tried to make amends. I will have to read Memento Mori :)

I've been meaning to watch Twin Peaks for ages- I bought it on video only to find we'd thrown away our VHS player. I'll have to get the DVD. ANyway I'm very pleased you enjoyed it and thank you so much for your lovely reviews! Alex


Author's Response: Oh, I think Regulus deserves our sympathy. He mad a mistake, admittedly a big one, but whichever way you look at it he definitely regretted his decision and tried to make amends. I will have to read Memento Mori :)

I've been meaning to watch Twin Peaks for ages- I bought it on video only to find we'd thrown away our VHS player. I'll have to get the DVD. ANyway I'm very pleased you enjoyed it and thank you so much for your lovely reviews! Alex

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/26/11 20:50
Chapter: The Scapegoat

Poor Winston. I figured it was Bella but... I feel so sorry for the lad. But it was inevitable and expected, according to the chapter title. I also like how you tied in Regulus's role. And showed how that although he really wanted to be a DE, he had some scruples, unlike his cousin.

Gripping chapter, and now I'm off to read the epilogue. I hope Flint's vindicated.

Author's Response: I wasn't sure about this chapter title- because it does sort of give it away, but I wanted to keep the animals/ plants titling and it does work. I kept on thinking of the Hunt painting "The Scapegoat" whilst I was writing this. I find Regulus fascinating, although someone I beta for is writing an excellent story called "Family Matters" about Regulus and Barty Crouch, which I highly recommend. I know you've read the epilogue now, but I'm pleased you thought there was a possibility of Flint's innocence being discovered at this point. Thanks for the review! Alex

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/26/11 20:13
Chapter: The Fox

I'd be afraid of Bellatrix, too. O_o I love your description of her. She's so unsettling. *shudders*

Heroes were merely people too afraid of being cowards.

Interesting look at it. I love the Firefly definition: "A hero's somebody who gets people killed".^_~

I must say that I rather like your Bellatric and Rodolphus. They're very well fleshed out and believable. They mystery keeps getting mysterious, and while Gloria might have saw the beautiful in everything, I must admit that she weird me out a little - at least from the story that Flint recalled. And Regulus? He has piqued my curiosity. Lovely chapter.

Author's Response: I find Bella scary too- but very fun to write. That is a good line- I wish I'd come up with it on my own but, alas, Jimmy McGovern, the writer for Cracker, did. I love Firefly! That line is excellent.

Gloria is a bit odd, but I rather like her. I'm glad you've found my characterisation of canon characters interesting :) Thanks for the review! Alex

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/26/11 12:57
Chapter: The Hemlock

Ah, Fabian Prewitt. With a name like that, he had to be some burly hunk, right? They said the Prewitts were a handsome lot, including Molly. ^_~

Interesting turn of events. Someone impersonated Fabian with Polyjuice Potion? Hmm. I wonder who it could be and why.

This mystery is setting up to be rather interesting, and I shall read on to discover more.

Author's Response: If you want to read more about the Prewett brothers- or rather Gideon Prewett- he's the boyfriend of one of my MCs (he's also gay)- then I direct you to my stories Thin Red Lines and A Darkling Plain. They are both long so I won't mind if you don't read them. Just telling you :)

I'm pleased you're intrigued and hope you enjoy the rest. Alex

Reviewer: Kerichi
Date: 06/23/11 14:14
Chapter: The Woods

I'm always interested in other writers' first chapters, wondering how they'll draw the reader in and what hook they'll use to make them want to hit the "Next" button. I think your ending was well done. The scream made me almost forget to review, but the beginning starts slow, and I wonder why you didn't choose to use Winston's pov sooner. You could have let the reader see the wedding and Gloria through his eyes, have him invite her to take a walk and go from there.

I enjoyed your description of the walk. I could feel the warm stillness of the air and picture the trees and the look on Winston's face when he heard Gloria's unsettling view of nature and what she loves about it. 

I'm curious to know why you chose to have Winston think Florence "rather silly" before she threatened to kill him (and Gloria) if they gossiped about her indiscretion. Are you going to have him tell about it later and have no one believe she's capable of murder?

Also, since these are purebloods, why are they smoking cigarettes? Wouldn't they regard it as something filthy Muggles do? I understand he's smoking so he could lean down and see the ring (and probably later be searched and have it found, incriminating him) but unless you put something like "elf(or wizard)-made cigarrettes" it's hard to believe he'd actually smoke them.

Your characterization of Daphne reminds me of Mrs. Bennet in P&P.  I can easily imagine someone saying of her "She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper." :D

Off to read ch 2. 

 



Author's Response: I'm not very good at quick starts I've realised. I think I wanted to start with Gloria's voice, given I kill her off so quickly, although thinking about it if someone had suggested I just start with Winston I probably would have.

I really enjoyed describing nature, particularly at this time of year when it's so beautiful, in this story. I'm pleased you enjoyed reading it as well. Winston's description of Florence is more about the gap between how she's perceived by most people and the way she actually is, which is developed later on in the story, I promise.

I decided quite a while ago that, for the sake of ease (for someone with asthma who hates cigarettes an awful lot of my characters are smokers/ ex-smokers) in my personal canon smoking would not be perceived as a Muggle activity. Cigarettes have been around for about/ just over 100 years which I think is long enough for them to be a Muggle thing that had become integrated as part of wizarding society (like the Hogwarts Express and the Wireless).

It was unintentional but, now you mention it, Daphne is basically Mrs Bennet. :) Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story. Alex

Reviewer: Equinox Chick
Date: 06/10/11 1:46
Chapter: Bluebells

Oh! I didn't think it was Regulus, although he always seemed to be there, didn;t he?

Very well plotted, Alex, and an intriguing mystery.It was all so dark as well. Poor Winston. I really hoped he'd be out of Azkaban ... couldn't Regulus have sent the Aurors a confession ...pretty please? Mind you, I don;t think Winston would have been happy without Gloria. I loved the writing by her grave, it was very touching. And the sex scene with Florence was really well written.

All in all an excellent mystery. Well done, and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY


~Carole~

Author's Response: Oh, I'm pleased you didn't guess who it was. And thank you for your help with chapters 2 and 3- it really did make this story so much better, and I'm glad you thought it was good enough to read the last two chapters and review it. I don't think Winston would have been happy Gloria either, but he still probably would have been happier out of Azkaban. I think Regulus confessing would have been OOC.

Anyway thanks for the lovely review and the birthday wishes- I really appreciate both :) Alex

Reviewer: littlewolf
Date: 06/09/11 20:14
Chapter: Bluebells

fabulous. simply fabulous, albeit sad. i love your portrayal of regulus, and bellatrix is rotten to the core. "She did not understand the look of horror, quickly replaced by deep sorrow, on her uncle’s face. He should be pleased that the brat had been disposed of, not upset." is such accurate description of bella. i don't like her, but you did an amazing job with her characterization.

poor gloria, poor winston, but this is such a fantastic story.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I don't seem able to write happy stories (sorry) though am trying to. And Regulus has always interested me, so I'm glad you liked him, and thought Bellatrix was completely in character. I've said before that I have far, far too much fun writing her, even though she's evil. Thank you for such a lovely review! Alex

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 06/09/11 17:18
Chapter: Bluebells

I'm glad I didn't guess for sure who it was until the end. I was thinking about Regulus, especially when Bella told him he was supposed to find someone else to blame (in the last chapter). I really enjoyed this last chapter. I figured he was dying and I liked your vision of the afterlife. I particularly like the part where he was given a chance to visit the graves of those he murdered and kind of make amends. That was truly Bella at the end--with her thought that her uncle should be pleased that his "brat" son had been disposed of. I enjoyed your story. I've been having a good time reading all of these new mysteries. I'm working on one also and the first chapter is with my favorite beta right now. It'll be three chapters. See you next time.

Author's Response: Ha, another person who didn't guess whodunnit! That makes me happy :) I think I said in the ANs that I really loved writing the afterlife scene, and then having that with the scene with Bella at the end. Although I didn't really like the ending all the lovely reviews are making me feel better about it! Thanks for reading and reviewing- I will read yours when it goes up (and I know there's a few chapters of Bella Rosa up- when I have the chance I promise I'll read them :) ) Alex

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 06/08/11 4:15
Chapter: Bluebells

I've loved this whole story, Alex. I'm glad you included the Epilogue, because things wrapped up very quickly at the end of the last chapter and the Epilogue was so well-written and such a wonderful read.

I had been suspecting Regulus since chapter 3. You just did such a wonderful job of characterising him - I liked how you showed his disgust but how he managed to make everything sort of academic and not think about it. As I said before, the Epilogue was so well-written, you captured his character - something of a tortured soul - so well. I don't really know how to describe it.

Bellatrix was also wonderfully written. I could really see her as the Bellatrix of Thin Red Lines as well. Rodolphus' reaction to her was the most vivid image, I think, but throughout she was chillingly cold and emotionless and manipulative.

I wasn't quite sure why the Marauders (assuming that the wolf, dog and stag were them) appeared in the story - I mean, I know Remus killed the fox, which helped develop Gloria's character and showed what happened then, but it just seemed a little... random to me.

I don't think Gloria is morbid or gruesome - I see her more as very honest and simultaneously aware of the lies and deceit which surround her, and not quite sure what to make of it so she retreats to nature, which she understands. Well, that's how I see her anyway (I hope it's at least partly in line with what you meant).

Humans always had a choice, no matter how horrific it seemed. I loved that line, because it connected this story really well to canon and it shows that Regulus understands what Voldemort never did.

Nothing could ever be proven. This is a fantastic way to end a mystery, because it's usually the kind of story which promises justice and a solution.

I liked Florence's characterisation in this - it linked really well to that one-shot you wrote about her (sorry, can't remember the name) and you wrote her desperation so well.

I did like the ending, and I'm glad you changed it so it wasn't AU, partially because I prefer canon-compliant, and partially because what you have written just works so well.

Another excellent story, Alex.

~Katrina

Author's Response: I'm really glad you liked it :) It's lovely that you read so much of my stuff- it makes me feel really happy that you think it's good enough to read more of, and not just one story. I'm also really pleased you thought the Epilogue was good- I really enjoyed writing it, though the genius of the idea has to go to Soraya.

I'm also pleased that you had your suspicions but still enjoyed it. If I guess whodunnit then I normally get annoyed with the author for not being cleverer than me- :)

The Marauders- I hadn't intended on having them. And they were a bit random but, honestly, I couldn't resist the possibility of including them. I had the image of the fox first and then realised I could have Remus responsible for it. I have tried and failed at writing the Marauders well so this seemed my only opportunity to write about them.

You've got Gloria perfectly––nature is black and white, whereas our lives aren't and growing up scares and excites her (as it does most people I think) but she retreats more than most. I think Viv says something similar about nature in ADP.

I found ending this story really difficult, so it's nice you liked that ending. I do find murder mysteries where everything is tied up neatly really irritating. Crimes in RL are more jagged then that so I don't see why in TV it should be any different. And, despite some minor canon errors in nearly every story, I am ideally a canon girl too. Anyway thank you so much for the lovely review-I'm really happy that you enjoyed it. Alex

Reviewer: The_Real_Hermione
Date: 06/08/11 3:04
Chapter: The Woods

I can't believe how quickly you've updated this - and "A Darkling Plain" as well (I haven't got past the first chapter on that one yet though...). Anyway. This was a wonderful beginning to a story.

I love Gloria as a character - there's something almost Luna-ish about her and yet she's also quite different. She had just turned fifteen and therefore only recently been allowed to drink wine, and she was feeling slightly giddy. I loved this line, because it gave good background details on her but also shows that she tends to follow rules and that the idea of growing up fascinates her. I do hope you don't kill her off. But she does seem like the perfect victim.

Winston Flint was also portrayed very realistically - you really showed him as a teenaged boy who's not quite sure what he should think. He had a similar sort of innocence to Gloria, I thought, which was nicely contrasted with Florence's infidelity.

I'm very much looking forward to reading the rest of this - you've set up an interesting scene.

~Katrina

Author's Response: Ironically it's when I don't really have the time to write that I write the most- although the D/A queue is moving very quickly at the moment, which is part of the reason ADP is going up so fast.

I'm pleased you like Gloria. She is Luna-ish, but I'm pleased she's different. I really like her, but I know some people, in later chapters, thought she was a bit gruesome. She is interesting.

Honestly Winston Flint is one of my OCs whose given me the hardest time, so it's nice you think he's realistic and has the right teenage innocence whilst wanting to grow up, I hope he continues to be realistic. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy the rest! Alex

Reviewer: Liandrin
Date: 06/07/11 20:40
Chapter: The Woods

The little dialogue exchanged between Gloria and Winston - city boy! country girl! - was adorable. Also, it figures that something as dangerous as hemlock grows on the Malfoy estate.

I am somewhat confused about one thing. Earlier, you mention that Hector believes that he's not good enough for Helen. Toward the end of the chapter you write:

He had just proposed, albeit awkwardly and continually telling her that she did not deserve him...

Do you mean that he didn't deserve her?

I am curious who was Apparating in the forest and was Gloria really sleeping? I think not. I'll have to find out by reading the next chapter. :D

Author's Response: I'm pleased you enjoyed the dialogue :) I hadn't thought of it making sense that something like hemlock grew on the Malfoy estate, so that was either unintentional or unconscious, possibly because hemlock grows in my gran's garden and, thankfully, she's nothing like the Malfoys.

I don't really understand what confuses you about that sentence. No, Hector does mean that he doesn't think Helen deserves her. I think (hope?) most people would be clever enough not to tell their fiance that they thought they could do better, even if they thought it was true––but in Hector's case he genuinely believes Helen does not deserve him (as in he's not good enough for her, rather than she's not good enough for him). Does that make more sense?

Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story :) Alex

Reviewer: residentmuso
Date: 06/07/11 17:35
Chapter: Bluebells

ah, i understand now...when i got to the end of the last chapter, i was pretty confused, but i think i'd been reading it too fast. great story, and i loved the ending ;)

Author's Response: I'm pleased it all made sense in the end, and very glad you liked the ending. I really like it but am a bit worried it's slightly...odd. Anyway glad you liked it and thank you for reviewing! Alex

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 06/06/11 16:41
Chapter: The Scapegoat

I was surprised that it ended this quickly. And, with a lie. I don't feel we know who killed Gloria. Although, maybe that was your point.:D Fabian is right to be confused. I can't wait to read the Epilogue. I think anyone who knows Bellatrix should be afraid, very afraid. I think Rodolphus Lestrange is the last person I'd want to have an affair with. Intruding on Bella's territory would be taking such a big gamble. That woman's outright mean, to say the least. I enjoyed reading your mystery and I look forward to reading how you wrap it up in the epilogue. Talk to you next time.

Author's Response: This is rather short by my standards. I did wonder when I put it in the queue whether it was clear- my beta knew the murderer after reading the chapter so I assumed everyone would. I promise the epilogue clears up any remaining questions.

I'm glad you find Bellatrix scary. I have far too much fun writing her- although it's interesting you didn't expect it to end with a lie. Although if (and I hope you do though obviously know RL/ your own writing keeps you busy) more of my stories you'll find happy endings are rare and, when they do occur, are hard won. Thanks for reviewing- and I hope you enjoy the epilogue :) Alex

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 06/02/11 17:28
Chapter: The Fox

Thank you for identifying the Druids. I was wondering what they were--maybe a British branch of the KKK, but that didn't make sense, either. I loved your Bellatrix too. She's such a character. In my story she hasn't come into her full character yet. Now, I'm starting to wonder what Bellatrix and Regulus actually know. I was sorted into Ravenclaw. I guess that I'm now waiting for my HoH to contact me??? I think the best thing for me is to sit back and wait and see what happens. I did want to participate in this challenge but I don't know what the prompts are. I loved this chapter though. I will eagerly await the next.

Author's Response: I did wonder if I should make the Druids thing clearer- but it's Regulus' POV so he wouldn't really know what they were either. I'm pleased you like my Bellatrix :) I have so much fun writing her-

You should be able to see the prompts. In the forums go to the Great Hall and then the Mysterious May Challenge is one of the threads there. The deadline's been extended to the end of the month so give it a go! I'm really looking forward to seeing what you make of the next chapter...thanks for reviewing! Alex

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 05/28/11 16:36
Chapter: The Hemlock

I am really getting into this mystery. I got more and more interested the more I read. I always like to read about how the different families are inter-related and how the older members of a family influence the younger ones. Now I'm trying to figure out how the murderer acted so quickly and with all of those people around. I'm still trying to get sorted. How long does it take to send out a sorting quiz anyway? I must have done something wrong. I guess that's my own mystery to solve:D I look forward to your next chapter. Great job.

Author's Response: I'm glad this mystery has caught your interest :) I like writing about pre-Trio era but not the main Maruders, and the relatives of characters in Trio era, so it's nice you're finding it interesting as well. I can't remember how long it took them to sort me- sorry :/ Anyway thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you're enjoying this story! Alex

Reviewer: Fynnsmom
Date: 05/24/11 17:25
Chapter: The Woods

Hi there! This is the first time I've checked out one of your stories, although I've meant to for a while. I find I'm really getting into this mystery challenge. I'm hoping to write something but I've been trying to get registered and sorted. I thought this was supposed to go quickly and easily but I've been working on it for two days. Hopefully, I can get sorted soon. Anyway, this sounds really interesting. I know it takes place in 1978 but I'm envisioning something more old-fashioned, which I guess is how the purebloods were--very proper and elegant. I have one question--was that the date of the Malfoy's wedding? I'm writing their engagement and wedding into my story so I was wondering. See you next time.

Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad you think this looks interesting. The Mystery challenge is fun- Sorting is usually quite quick but once you're on the beta boards its kind of addictive. Just to warn you :)

There is no canon date for Narcissa and Lucius' wedding. You're free to make one up, though obviously there's Draco being born in 1980 and the Malfoys don't strike me as the type who'd have a kid out of wedlock.

I hope you enjoy this story. Just to warn you my interpretation of Bellatrix Lestrange is very, very different to yours. You may be in for a shock. Anyway thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. Alex

Reviewer: residentmuso
Date: 05/24/11 13:52
Chapter: The Hemlock

the plot thickens... ;)

Author's Response: Indeed it does - thanks for the review :)

Reviewer: Sainyn Swiftfoot
Date: 05/16/11 0:15
Chapter: The Woods

I took a peek out of curiosity at this fic and then ended up reading the entire thing instead of working on my own mystery >.< Damn you, Alex, for sabotaging my plans!

 

But self-important, condescending, completely joking remarks aside, I think you've set up your mystery really well. I like the setting-- rich, influential purebloods with huge egos and huge immorality who stand with lots to lose. Always interesting to read about them. I like your characters too; they’re the kind that make me want to know more about them and I personally believe that a large part of mysteries are the characters that they have—if you don’t have an interesting detective, an interesting victim and a host of interesting witnesses/suspects, the mystery tends to fall flat.

 

On that account, Winston is very believable—he likes Gloria, but is unsure about how to proceed, he has his own worries and troubles, he acts all *cool* with his mates and so on. But speaking of Gloria, I found something off about her here—not speaking in terms of how you’ve written her, but how she was behaving within the fic. It’s definitely arousing my curiosity, I want to know what’s going on with her.

 

Then there are Florence and the man (who is he? Very clever of you to forget to mention it, I’m sure that’s going to be important later :P). I can’t wait to see what part they’re going to play here. I’m also excited for Fabian, I can’t wait to see what kind of a personality you’ve cooked up for him.

 

Some crit: I found the beginning slightly put me off.  I don’t know if it was the way you phrased the first sentence, or the commas in it (it flows better if you remove either one of them, I think—possibly the second one). I also really hope that the bawling baby follows the rule of Chekhov’s Gun, because it seems kind of unnecessary to me (but then I shouldn’t talk, every second sentence in my mystery is irrelevant to the plot :P).

 

On the whole, I think you have a great set-up, and I’m waiting to see how you take it further. :D



Author's Response: Thanks for taking the time to read my story, at the expense on your own! My cunning (if unintentional) plan is working....

I'm really glad you find the characters interesting––I agree that characters are the most important part of not just mysteries, but stories in general, to the extent that plot can be sacrificed for characters if you want. And the setting...well, since I gorged myself on Agatha Christie (to the extent that I began to get the murderer right every time-– that's when I stopped) but knew the world she wrote about hadn't really existed for most of the time she was writing about it, I kind of jumped at the chance to have a murder in a manor house, with lots of rich people.

Winston is by far the character I've found hardest to get right in this story, so I hope he continues to be believable. Gloria is supposed to be a bit strange. I hope I manage to give a sense of what she was like throughout the rest of the story, even though she's now dead. And Fabian-- it was fun writing Fabian because I've already written about him, in one story set in the early seventies and its sequel (about to be posted) set in 1980/81, but mainly from the POV of Gideon or Gideon's boyfriend. So this is the same Fabian but it was nice to, when I started writing this story, already formed my own ideas about him.

I agree. That first line is awkward and, as much as I love Chekhov's Guns and this was intended to be one, the story's changed so that it no longer is. I might actually delete that. Commas will be the death of me.

Thank you for dropping by, and leaving such a lovely review. I'll be sure to visit yours (I think we have the same beta- Minna?) when it's posted. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story! Alex (and sorry-when people leave long reviews, I leave long rambling responses....)

Reviewer: NextGenerationWriter
Date: 05/12/11 14:55
Chapter: The Woods

Really good. Cliffhanger at the end. Can' t wait to see what's going to happen next.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story :) Alex

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